


Fractal Scarring

by PinkROmantic



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Discussion of Rape, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Implied/Referenced Torture, Martyr Complex, Platonic Relationships, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sexual Content, Sibling Bonding, Suicidal Thoughts, There's some sort of Stockholm Syndrome going on here, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, but it's far more complicated than that, discussion of incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-06-02 04:31:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 32
Words: 132,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6551092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkROmantic/pseuds/PinkROmantic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Corrin accepts to become hostage to Hoshido once more in exchange of her little sister's life. She bonds with her family/captors in unconventional and irreversible ways as her morals and principles begin to fall apart.</p><p>[First half of the fanfic is focused on Ryoma/Corrin, second half is more centered on Takumi&Corrin, just to be clear.]<br/>[06/06/17: Fic just went through some minor spell check and edition.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Brother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **(EDIT 06/06/17) To old readers:** Thank you so much for all your support, I swear I never expected this fic to get this amount of attention, and if you're somehow back to the start to re-read, I wanted to let you know that I took my time to do a thorough spellcheck on every chapter, adding and removing a few lines or parts to make the story look 'cleaner', which should not alarm you at all: these changes are minimal and I'm sure you will barely notice them. Hopefully my writing will be far more enjoyable now.
> 
>  **To new readers:** Hey there, I don't know how or why you stumbled here, but I hope my story will be of your liking. The tags up there are pretty self-explanatory on what warnings you should take in mind. This isn't really a romance-driven story, but I think it is fair to say that 'love' is one of its main themes, along with grief, anger, deceit, family and forgiveness. This story is on most part character-driven and it doesn't necessarily adhere to some parts of the game's plot points which may have been changed or disappeared in its entirety (such as Lilith and the existence of the Deep Realms). If you don't mind any of these things from above, you're most welcome to start reading!
> 
>  
> 
> \----  
> So, here's the thing!
> 
> It's supposed to be a retelling of Conquest, major plot elements and twists will remain, but I'll handle them differently. The story's main couple will be Ryoma/Corrin, but there will be a lot of non-romantic Takumi&Corrin. You'll probably find hints of other ships I'm not going to mention because, well, where is the fun on that?  
> 

CORRIN

It was tiring to spend most of the day in a prisoner cell, doing absolutely nothing but to sit still, sleep and exercise, but this was in no way worse than to the long marching where she was forced to sit on a horse for hours while her hands were tied. In the prison cell the ropes were taken away but not without the fair warning that she’d be cut down if she tried to fight against her captors. It didn’t matter, she was too tired and injured to even try.

She was stripped of her armor and thoroughly searched from head to toe to confiscate any hidden weapons or items, her dragonstone included; she was left with her simple black blouse and given a pair of black pants to cover her lower half, as her nohrian outfit wasn’t designed to cover her inner thighs; she appreciated their concern over her modesty.

They took over a small fortress hidden somewhere in Nestra’s territory, apparently the hoshidan army was going to lend help to the rebellion in Cheve, a nohrian city close the border between Nestra and Nohr.

It’s been over a week since she’s been taken hostage by the hoshidans, more specifically, her brother Ryoma, and day after day she was tortured by the regrets of her decision. Ever since that day, nobody within the hoshidan army had spoken to her, the silent ninjas watching over her were probably advised to not interact with her unless necessary. She had tried asking about the war's progress many times, but to no avail. Seemingly they’ve made a conscious effort of isolating her from what was happening at the front lines, even the most vague rumors. Maybe she lost that privilege the moment she decided to take up her sword against her blood family. Maybe this was Ryoma’s way to punish her.

Unarmed and restrained, she had no other choice but to cooperate with her captors and hope for the worst to never come.

Corrin, princess of Nohr and long-lost princess of Hoshido, sighed and laid down the hard bed in her cell and her body shuddered at the pain cursing through her stomach up to her chest and her shoulder.

It was almost time for the healer to check her up. The blisters across her stomach up to her right breast were itching and she couldn’t do nothing about them. They said to her that she was lucky to survive one single struck of Raijinto, but she knew that its owner held back just to not make it lethal; Ryoma had no need for her to be dead. She could still feel the little jolts that prickled her sensitive skin over the area where the sacred lightning struck, she wished she had a mirror to look at herself at least, to see the tree-branching patterned scar burnt into her as a reminder of her treason.

The pain passed quicker this time, each day less painful than the last, but it still wore her down. Somewhere between her thoughts she let herself close her eyes and take a deep breath, snuff her angst away with some sleep.

At least Elise was saved. Corrin knew she didn’t give up her freedom again just so her little sister could die, and if Ryoma had as much honor as she had believed him to have, Elise would be fine. But in war, nothing was ever fair. The youngest princess of Nohr had contracted a grave disease during their march towards Macarath, and hoshidan troops had taken over the area where they needed to pass in order to help to Elise before it was too late.

...

 

_“If the sting of my blade is the only thing that can bring you back to your senses, so be it!”_

_“Ryoma! Don’t do this!”_

_“I won’t back down today, Sister. You’re coming home. Now.”_

_So many things flashed inside her head, the life of her little sister Elise pending from a thread and the only thing standing in their way was the red anger of Ryoma. He would attack Corrin without hesitation, and she raised her sacred sword Yato in anticipation to deflect the quick strike of Ryoma’s Raijinto. Ryoma held his sword close and skyward, the attacking stance and his red horned chin armor gave him the likeness of a demon. She clearly underestimated his capacity to hurt her from afar._

_The power imbued in the sacred katana of the hoshidan prince was the thunder, it would rarely miss. Despite quickly raising her blade, Corrin fell to the ground as she felt her heart stop for a single moment, not understanding right away what was what hit her; she felt her chest burning and the air leaving her lungs all at once, a pain unlike anything she experienced before cursed through her nerves and made all her limbs quiver. It took a moment to recover from the shock, however she couldn't help to stop her arms from shaking, gasping for air because of the overwhelming pang spread across her system._

_The deadly determination in Ryoma’s eyes was frightening, and there would be more like that one hit if she didn’t lower her sword. At her back, her small group of soldiers and Azura were anxious. Camilla was probably way back looking out for Elise while her health was still delicate… That was for the best, Camilla was known to cause reckless mayhem for the sake of her siblings._

_Corrin looked back at Azura for one single moment, but she could not speak, she simply nodded slightly in response to Azura shaking her head with mortified eyes._

_“… If I come with you, do you promise to let them through? Do you promise?” Ryoma just stared at her and nodded firmly, his expression unreadable._

_“This is madness, Corrin! You can’t accept that!”_

_“It’s me or Elise. If we don’t make it through, she will die. If only I surrender, I won’t die” her voice was cracking, but she looked back at her wide-eyed army staring at her in disbelief. Azura in particular seemed particularly angry for someone who had a limited range for expressing emotions._

_Even her enemies seemed perplexed by her words, Corrin herself couldn’t believe she actually said them, as she felt her mind was completely detached of her mouth. She laid her heavy sword to the ground as the agile team of hoshidan ninjas surrounded her and roped her wrists tight enough to hurt. It didn’t feel real, it was happening too fast and her mind was racing, screaming at her for being so weak, so stupid._

_It wasn’t late to fight back. It wasn’t late to use the divine dragon inside her to break free. Yet…_

_Ryoma’s eyes were still pinned on her, quietly telling her to not do it, to not force him to strike her again; he truly believed this was the only way to walk away from this without the need to sacrifice the life of the young Elise._

_“Azura, it’s time to return home.” Then and there, Corrin started and looked back at her friend as Ryoma called out… Corrin half-expected the songstress to answer his call, but she simply stood there unyielding. Ryoma called again: “Azura.”_

_“… I can’t do it. I simply can’t.”_

_There was new tension in the air. “Don’t be foolish. We’re not going to abandon you to these nohrians. I know that my own people have wronged you, but I can make sure that you’re welcomed again.”_

_“I made up my mind, Ryoma. I’m sorry. Right now, I am needed here.”_

_“You can’t be serious.” He was clearly angered by Azura, despite that, she remained calm._

_“I am. Though it pains me to reject you, my brother, this is something that only I can do. I wish I could come with you and Corrin, but on my own volition I want to remain here. I wish I could explain, I really do.”_

_“It’s not too late to come back.” This was the last straw, Corrin crossed her fingers for Azura to not be struck by him in the same way as he was growing desperate. “I know that you’re not a traitor, Azura! Now is the time to prove the people wrong!”_

_“Let her make her choice, Ryoma! You can’t force her!” Corrin screamed enraged, before her brother could take his distress too far. Surprisingly, he yielded his menacing stance, as if Corrin’s outburst snapped him back to cool-headedness._

_“Very well. But be warned, Azura. Next time we meet in battle, you and I will be enemies.”_

_“I should hope not.”_

_Azura was so strong and hid her emotions too well, put Corrin to shame when she realized that she lost the will to fight._

_“Tell Elise that I love her” she told Azura, another burden she was placing on her dear friend._

_“You can’t do this! It’s too early to give up, Corrin!” someone yelled at the distance, perhaps one of her close friends. She heard the clash of swords and spears, the horses’ rushing wildly to the enemy’s frontlines, but her shoulders stiffened and she started to yell: “STOP!”_

_Mercenaries, fighters and knights halted their weapons, and Ryoma called his soldiers to a halt._

_She had made her rules clear in the past, she made sure that everyone aligned to her moral beliefs, and made them play the war game in which bloodshed would not be tolerated by her. The hoshidan ninja that carried her towards Ryoma’s side slowed down for a moment as she roared towards the army she was leaving behind._

_“I know I won’t be with you anymore, I know that you’re free to resent me for this, but if my word ever meant anything to you at all, you will keep your word and fight not to kill, not today, not ever again! Nohr’s days as this cruel unforgiving kingdom need to end now! This has always been in your hands, people! Please, let nothing of this be in vain!”_

_Her own words grew sour in her tongue, for a moment she could not bear to look back at Azura, who had observed her the whole time with a sharp glare. The army behind her was a mixed bag of emotions that ranged between resignation, determination and anger. They gave her their loyalty and now she was abandoning them, she’d never know if her words would resonate with each one of them, time would only tell._

_She was their leader no more, and as she was pulled into a horse of the hoshidan army, her stomach started to betray her and the pain of sickness almost made her black out. But she endured the nausea, they didn’t deserve to see her as anything but a person who’d always hold her head high._

_When they got far away from Macarath, she realized that she was among a sea of unfamiliar unfriendly faces. She was exhausted and sweating buckets, she could fall off the horse at any given time and it would catch her beneath its hooves…_

_Before passing out, however, she noticed that she was caught from her fall and for a few seconds she felt her body relax when she stared into the reassuring eyes of that prince dressed in red demon-like armor. There was great compassion in those small black eyes, yet all they caused to her was pain unlike anything she had felt today. She couldn’t reconcile that these eyes full of kindness were also the wrathful ones that judged her just a few moments ago, and she resented this with the last force of her conscious thoughts._

...

 

 

Upon awakening, she felt her throat was dry and there was a wet coldness massaging over her chest and stomach, lightly waking the pain on her nerves. She must’ve fallen deeply asleep before the healer arrived, not applying ointment over the intricate scar with her blouse unbuttoned. She didn’t struggle against the healer girl, she was only doing her job, but Corrin couldn’t grow used to the sensation of that ointment on her naked skin and it made her feel restless upon first contact.

Once it was done, the healer girl rearranged her blouse and abandoned the cell quietly; Corrin had noticed that they left her a new tray of food, far more complete than any of the previous ones since her arrival. It contained a jar of water, a piece of bread with cheese and an apple.

Her stomach demanded to be filled, and she complied to the noisy request, finishing the food faster than she would have liked to. They weren’t starving her, every day they brought her water and bread on night and day, but today it was special; why was that?

The sound of a distant door opening echoed through the hall of the prison, she thought nothing of it, but seeing the guard outside her cell stiffen and quickly kneel towards the unseen visitor made Corrin realize right away.

“You are in presence of the High Prince of Hoshido” announced the guard, such formality felt unnecessary.

She merely sat still where she finished her food tray, she didn’t know if she was in the mood to give him the proper salutation or if he’d even mind. She wanted to rescue some of her pride right now so she didn’t want to bow to her captor.

The hoshidan prince always seemed to wear that bright red armor but not without the white jinbaori with golden embroidery with the emblem of the royal family, a beautifully balanced contrast. The first time that she ever saw him, she felt fear and awe at the same time which was just a few moments before being told that Ryoma was her ‘real’ brother.

That was when her mother, Queen Mikoto, still lived. Since Corrin had been raised as a Nohrian Princess, the meeting and tragic passing of her own mother happening merely weeks apart and a new war breaking through both countries, Corrin was unable to cope properly. She spend some bittersweet days getting to know Hoshido and her ‘true’ family, Ryoma had been nothing but kind to her during that time… but, needless to say, Corrin truly tested his patience when she betrayed Hoshido less than a day after the explosion that killed their mother.

While the cause of the explosion was an artifact gifted to Corrin by her ‘father’, King Garon of Nohr, this fact was quickly shoved into obscurity among her peers. She never forgot, and until she was proven otherwise, the one responsible for her mother’s death was still King Garon.

“I see you haven’t tried to escape after all this time, color me surprised” he said, his low voice was somewhere between amused and neutral. His posture was perfectly still with his hands resting on his katana’s hilt while it stood on the ground, but from this angle the jail bars obstructed the view of his eyes.

“Since you took away my dragonstone, I wouldn’t dare to transform and break loose at the risk of losing control and killing innocents.” He nodded, again remembering the fateful day of their mother’s death, wracked by grief, Corrin transformed into a dragon in front of everyone, something by far unprecedented by those of royalty who inherited the blood of dragons.

“I believe you, yet as we speak, Nohr has done nothing but to claim the life and freedom of thousands of innocents in the name of glory.” He stopped momentarily, Corrin could have sworn that his shoulders stiffened a little. “I’ve heard of the… unique nature of your own exploits since you were put in charge of your army, but can you say that you’ve truly made a difference? Did you truly think that fighting Hoshido would be possible without bloodshed, Sister?”

Whether he sounded condescending or genuinely curious, it was hard to tell.

“I had to try regardless” she answered.

Ryoma sighed through his nose, he took one step closer to her cell, now his dark eyes met directly with hers; this forced her to look up to him, the desired effect to make her remember that she was currently beneath him in all possible aspects. She didn’t like this at all, so she rebelled against this notion by getting back on her feet and straightened her back to meet his eyes without having to look up.

She was almost as tall as Ryoma, if not by the ornamental horned mask that framed his face and his wild long hair, he wouldn’t look bigger than her.

This silent competition ended when Ryoma opened his mouth to speak up.

“I wonder how you truly feel, Corrin. Have you ever stopped to think about what would have happened if you stayed with us? Have you ever thought of how would it have been if your heart didn’t turn away from your true family’s love? In account of all the things you did for them and feel for them, would you change your heart if you could? Would you have stopped before betraying us?”

The princess scowled at the obvious guilt-inducing questions. There were no right answers for his questions, truly, and he had no right to assume the true nature of her emotions when he only wanted to force her heart to change without considering her own experiences.

She wished to have seen more of the Ryoma who caught her fall off the horse, but perhaps she misunderstood his show of compassion back then.

“Ryoma… If your definition of ‘betrayal’ is correct, then my heart had betrayed you from the moment I felt at home in Nohr with my brothers and sisters.” Corrin noticed the slight change in the prince’s frown and his stiffened mouth, she could perceive his pain and anger undisguised. “But please know this: any day I’d have loved to regain the family I was taken away from…”

“And you’ve lost your chance.” His voice was louder this time, her heart shrunk a little.

“I know; but if there’s a glint of kindness and mercy in you, Ryoma, you won’t destroy the one that I still have.”

She promised herself that she wouldn’t cry in front of him ever since she was taken, but even now, it was hard to contain the cracks in her voice.

“… You are asking for the impossible. Anyone who willingly serves King Garon shall meet their end, by my own hand if that’s what it takes.”

Corrin clenched her fist as her face twisted in grief. “Then you’ll have to end me too.”

Then he said no more. He knew that she was right, and she did obey King Garon’s orders and would have kept on doing it if she wasn’t imprisoned here.

With the tension in the air, Ryoma walked himself out of the prison, and Corrin let out a shaky breath, feeling as if she could have chocked during her conversation with Ryoma. Her body was sweaty and her scar began to hurt as her mind revived their confrontation at Macarath, dreading the touch of that sword all over again.

What would he do after this? Was he really going to kill her nohrian siblings while she was imprisoned? The fact that it wasn't such a far-fetched possibility made her hurt with impotence, cursing her stupid heart for its weakness.

...

 

 

TAKUMI

His wrist had gone numb from use, during the past hours he had done nothing but to shoot arrows to all enemies across the city. It should’ve been liberating, the feeling of putting his marksmanship skills to good use and seeing the fruit they’d bear, dozens had already fallen to the righteous power of his Fujin Yumi. The sense of accomplishment was seemingly just what he needed to ease that horrible migraine that started since his pathetic defeat at the Port Town of Dia, at hands of that treacherous nohrian princess.

Here in Cheve he wanted to find his redemption. He wanted so bad to win this battle and to do something meaningful for this war. He simply had to.

He really hoped that Corrin would show up.

Scarlet was the name of the rebellion’s leader. He had known from Ryoma that she was a chevois knight who started a resistance that defied King Garon’s authority. Despite Takumi’s initial bias against nohrians, Scarlet showed from the get-go to be sharp and respectable warrior, inspiring admiration on him in the short time that he spent helping out with the resistance.

Outside of that, Ryoma went busy running a military campaign on Nestra and Takumi offered himself to replace his brother to help Scarlet and guide the hoshidan troops she was given to help with the resistance. Of course, Scarlet had expected to receive Ryoma’s direct support at first, but as soon as she heard that Takumi was his little brother, she felt instantly reassured. It was a curious thing, he noted, how fond and trustful she was of Ryoma…

The euphoria of the battle soon died out, and while he wanted to bask in the glory of slaying nohrian enemies, he soon found out how heavy his arms felt for every life he took. At first, he tried so hard to enjoy it, and to an extent, he did. But after busting a man's head open with one powerful arrow shot, Takumi felt less and less content and started to get overwhelmed with the foulness of the scent of death all around him. The frenzy of the killing spree muted all noise around him, Takumi realized that something didn't feel _right_.

He accomplished his goal, they managed to take over the Border Walls to lock out enemy reinforcements… yet they didn’t count on the quantity of nohrians coming from Cheve’s side. From the top of the stone walls, Takumi saw hell break loose.

Enemy soldiers swarmed all over the city. He wasn’t ready to stop fighting, his pride wouldn’t let him, but when Scarlet showed up riding her wyvern, she extended her hand to him. “You need to fall back!” He was then told that one of the few left standing, most of the rebels who helped to take the Border Wall had been either killed or forced to retire, and Scarlet had done her best to ensure the escape of the most allies she could. That’s when Takumi knew he had no choice but to go with her.

The wyvern was bleeding on its side, apparently hit by an arrow, it could barely fly with two people on its back. Scarlet, heavily injured as well, was clearly pained by pushing her winged companion too far. Takumi could hear the screams of soldiers and civilians from below, the streets were drenched in red and some houses were even set on fire, he felt sick. When did the Nohrian forces decide to attack the civilians? And to think that they were doing so well just a few hours ago. What changed? Where did they go wrong? How couldn't he realize this earlier?

As the wounded wyvern landed at the outskirts of Cheve, a few surviving rebels had come to Scarlet, telling her that they did their best to save as many civilians as they could, but they lost many of their people while the nohrian forces were ravaging the whole city.

Takumi raised his sacred bow once more, hearing the sounds of approaching soldiers at the distance. His bright Fujin Yumi materialized the arrows of light, but no matter how fast he could shoot one after another, he didn’t stand a chance against a group this big in such a short distance. He needed to buy the rebels some time to escape.

“Your brother entrusted me with you, I’d never forgive myself if I let them have you! Run!” Scarlet exclaimed, fending herself with her wounds, the brigands slayed her poor wyvern swiftly and then they spotted the young hoshidan prince, they wore a bloodthirsty glare. Scarlet wouldn’t let them come after him. She struck a couple of those men down with her axe, but in exchange received another cut on her arm. “RUN!”

That one last scream shook him and reluctantly he ran away. He was at the edge of tearing up, hearing the laughter of those men ganging up all at once against Scarlet. He could not avert his eyes from the forest’s path. He tried so hard to not think at all, just run and run. Run. _Run_.

The rebel base wasn’t discovered yet, but all the remaining residents were ready to move out along the few civilians that were saved. Everyone was asking about Scarlet, others mourning her in advance…  Takumi couldn’t bring himself to speak to anyone.

By the next morning, most of them already left, but Takumi and a group of three of Scarlet’s most loyal men decided to return to Cheve, perhaps in the scarce hopes of saving their Scarlet, if she hadn’t been executed already. He had followed them quietly, answering their questions with silent nods and grunts.

Cheve was ruined, streets were torn apart and corpses were piled up, just a few citizens and soldiers walked around the squares, filling the cold streets with ghastly whimpers and screams of madness. There was no hope left in this place.

And there she was, just in the middle of the town’s main square, upon an improvised post of wood; Takumi felt his knees quiver and felt his throat swell with nausea, but he couldn’t stop looking at her.

The grotesquely mutilated body that once was hers was left on display for everyone to see, Scarlet’s head was placed at the pointy end of an iron pike. Just below her head’s red trail there was a large written sign that only inspired fear and despair.

_INSURGENTS BE WARNED_

She was meant to serve as an example. The people spared of the slaughter would not dare to ever rise again. Scarlet’s men began crying and whispering words of guilt while cursing themselves for taking too long, but one had the courage to begin picking up her remains, shivering as he asked for the assistance of the rest. Takumi couldn’t move a finger, didn’t even blink until the tears began rolling down his cheeks, such a shameful display for a prince to do, but grief had deafened him to his own shriveling self-loathing.

The moment before the men took down her head, Takumi felt as if Scarlet’s absent stare was directed to him for one second.

Scarlet was seeing him cry.

The headache only got worse after he helped the rebels take Scarlet away to give her a proper funeral. He had no energy left to watch how they burned her remains, he almost vomited two times and his clothes were all stained in her blood. None of the rebels talked to him until it was time for them to return.

“We just can’t stop here, we’ll continue to fight Nohr with the hoshidan army. That’s what Scarlet would have wanted us to do” said one of the men, Takumi only nodded, although he knew that it would depend on Ryoma’s decision to let them in...

A couple of days later, he and the surviving hoshidan soldiers brought along the few chevois rebels left back at the secret base on Nestra; his brother’s army was quietly settled there just as expected and they were welcomed with half-expectant faces and silent inspections, acknowledging through the reduced numbers of soldiers that they lost the battle.

His head was still muddled with the gruesome images of death. He thought that the war would make him grow a thicker skin, but it didn’t, even after Mother’s death, even with all the lives that he had taken since the war started. He dreaded his own frailty as he was still haunted by the image of Scarlet’s dead eyes; Takumi didn’t know if he was ready to give the grim news to his brother…

… With the weight of this fatal failure, what would he think of him now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, I didnt conveniently erased the existence of Lilith or the deep realms, I dont' know what you're talking about.  
> ahahaha now what


	2. Hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad to see that the first chapter got so much good feedback and so fast! I will probably have the next chapter ready next week!  
> (I know that my grammar needs some work, I'm truly trying to best to correct any mistakes, so, thank you for pointing that out too.)
> 
>  
> 
> **Additional Warnings: Some sexual content.**

CORRIN

It felt like days have passed since that last encounter with Ryoma, even though it literally just occurred yesterday, but Corrin recalled his harsh words like old wounds. She cried the night away in silence, but she didn’t cry because of regret anymore, she simply allowed the tears to run freely until they stopped. However, just before succumbing to sleep, Corrin was awakened by the painful jolts from the long scar on her chest, violent spasms made her almost jump out of bed.

It was early morning, and it’d take a few hours for the healer to return. The scar itched so bad but she wanted to avoid touching it at all costs. Corrin tried to wane her ache by wrapping herself completely in the only blanket she had and laid in fetal position for a few more minutes.

By the time the worst was over, she felt knots all over her body, and the stress had taken its toll on her physical state. She didn’t have the energy to get up from bed and start to do some workout routine simply to let some steam off…

She hesitated for one moment, but so weary and sore, the captive princess concluded that she would not rise suspicion with the guard lingering outside her cell if she kept her mouth shut and the blanket on at all times. It wasn’t anything that Corrin hadn’t done before, she knew exactly what she was doing and what was at risk; slowly she dived hand under her trousers in complete discretion, knowing herself well enough.

Corrin closed her eyes and tried to lose herself to her little motions, maybe she could recall one steamy scene from one of her favorite romantic novels, but it wasn’t working very well. Her pained body kept on dragging her mind back to the events of the past few days. The scar was still bothering her, so her fingers picked a desperate pace, searching for a memory of pleasantness, anything to momentarily forget the tingling pain on her chest.

That desperation made the grip on her thoughts loosen up, and upon the built-up pleasure, her mind found the last pleasant memory she bore, when her senses vanished as she sat on that horse and that pair of strong arms caught her fall.

Her mouth gaped as if to let out a gasp but she quickly leashed her voice, even if she struggled to breathe. She lay boneless and sweaty for a few minutes while regulating her breath again, thinking over what just happened to her in her head, unsure to merely call it an intrusive thought.

_‘It won’t happen again. It can’t happen again.’_

Corrin could only call it an accident, so shameful it wouldn’t leave her head for a long time. Shame was all she had to chastise herself at this point.

The rest of the morning was rather uneventful, she still got the visit from the same healer girl and got her breakfast tray. Corrin decided to count push-ups to kill time, and when she was tired, a female guard brought her another jar of water. An oddly kind gesture, but Corrin made sure to thank her loudly, even if the mysterious lady pretended not to hear.

Afternoon. Outside the walls of this small prison, she could listen to the change of movement at the camp, it became agitated but it didn’t sound like they were under attack. It lasted for some hours until dusk, and then silence reigned in the again. She had no clue of what happened, and it irritated her to be kept at margin of it.

Half an hour past her dinner tray, she was feeling anxious and her back hurt from sitting against the cell’s stone wall, wishing she could at least have anything to read and spend the time, so she tried to remember Azura’s song, that one song that she sang the first time they met and always would sing to boost the army’s morale during battle. Such a beautiful and soothing song, Corrin never attempted to sing aloud, but from memory, she hummed the notes stuck in her head, wouldn’t dare to butcher its beauty with misheard lyrics.

Gods, even merely humming the song, she did it no justice. Azura would surely feel offended if she ever listened to her.

Her small humming session was interrupted however as the doors to the prison opened again and steps shy of being hasty came to her cell. Admittedly, she was surprised to see Ryoma again, albeit not pleased.

This time he seemed different, perhaps a little sick. Corrin got back on her bare feet to meet him in the eye, but suddenly felt flustered at the sight of him carrying a less aggressive expression in his face. Corrin would have hoped the passing of the day to completely exorcize her of the indecent thoughts she had this morning, but she had only herself to blame.

“… I come to apologize, Corrin. I’ve said some terrible things to you and I let my anger get the best of me. But what I said is also true. I cannot let anyone threaten our country anymore, do you understand?”

Corrin sighed softly, knowing where this conversation would go. At least she’d be more worried thinking about countering him than thinking about his arms. “I do. But there’s more to it than what you see on the surface, Ryoma. Look, I don’t expect you to accept it, but I ask you to at least try to understand it.”

“And I understand it clearly. Not every soldier is compelled to fight just for the sake of patriotism. I know what Garon has been doing to his own people —his soldiers,” Ryoma made emphasis on that last part, clearly referencing Cheve’s resistance. “But if they can’t muster the strength to oppose, then I can’t afford to be soft on them either.”

“King Garon has ordered his own children commit extremely horrible deeds, myself included. Needless to say that defying him has been… difficult” Well, _difficult_ fell short for an appropriate word to define her personal experience with the King of Nohr, but right here with Ryoma, she felt no need to sugar-coat her words. “I was nearly executed twice for doing that.”

“And again, I’m only baffled to no end over whatever reasons you chose to remain loyal to that man, Corrin. Has it really been worth it?”

That question really struck a nerve on her. The young princess placed her hands on the jail bars that separated her from the hoshidan prince.

“Yes. No matter how much it pains you to hear this, my heart is still with Nohr, and you saw me back there on Macarath: I’ll do anything I can to protect those people who are my family too. Wouldn’t you do the same for your own?”

“Too many contradictions fill your mouth.” Ryoma shook his head, visibly disappointed, and rightfully so. Still, he didn’t have a semblance of anger on his face or voice, which only made Corrin worry. “Since you pledged your loyalty to Nohr, you could have fought me before surrendering. I’m not saying that I’m not glad that you refused to fight, but part of me expected you to at least try.”

Corrin fell silent after that, avoided eye-contact as she felt Ryoma’s words expose the tenderness in her she that didn’t feel proud of. Everything she said about Nohr and her family was true, but… King Garon? That was an entirely different story. She knew it was useless to persuade that man to change his ways, that much she realized after he ordered her to kill the Rainbow Sage at Notre Sagesse, but she chose to remain for the sake of her sisters and brothers who have already sacrificed so much just to keep her safe. She owed them that kindness, and her loyalty was for them above anything; and it hurt to admit, but heart was brittle under the pressure of obeying such a hateful King… she would never say it aloud, not in front of them.

Ryoma continued, “You asked me if I would do anything to protect my family, right? I wouldn’t have come this far if I didn’t feel that way. If I didn’t care about you then I would’ve grown into a different man.”

“What do you mean?”

He furrowed his brow further. “I told you so when we first met again. I was there too when you were taken away. I was there when our Father was betrayed by King Garon. We travelled to Cheve together, and I had to return home alone.”

Corrin felt her heart fall into her stomach, all the blood left her face upon hearing his words and couldn’t bear to look at him in the eye. She forgot about that.  “Do you understand now, Corrin? I have prepared myself for years, awaited for the moment in which I’d ever see you again, bring you back. Our family was torn apart when you and Father were taken from us, but now I have the power to prevent it from ever happening again.”

She’d known this, but until now, it had been only a shallow pain, not something that deeply cut into her. Mother’s death still hurt, but Corrin’s past was still something broken beyond repair… She couldn’t blame Ryoma for wanting to fix his family, whereas she had done nothing but to add salt to their wounds.

… However, Corrin wanted to believe that her heart was in the right place, and as she’s been doing until now, she’d use her words before being forced to use violence. If she couldn’t stop Ryoma from fighting, the least she could do was to vouch for the people that she loved.

“Still, Ryoma, you can’t simply decide to show no mercy to people who played no part on what happened all those years ago and expect to fix everything like that. There are good people in that army, and my brothers and sisters are better than they let show. I’m sure if you ever met them in a different time and place, you’d have liked them too. So, _please_ ,” she put a lot of weight in that word, even as going as far as bowing her head, “don’t kill them. They’re my friends, they’re my family. Despite the circumstances, they have always meant as much good as you have. Elise, Leo, Camilla and Xander, they’re all too precious to me. If I lose any of them, I don’t know what I’d do.”

It wasn’t unbecoming of her to plead, but somehow, behind bars it felt much more humiliating,  her chest was tightening and her breath became heavy for a few moments.

Upon looking again at Ryoma, she noted his eyelids closed, deep in thought; he was still tense yet even less aggressive now. He seemed to be willing to relax a little, but his frown was constant. Maybe that was just the default expression in his face?

“… I was still just a child. Before Father married Queen Mikoto… I met King Garon and his heir, Prince Xander on a visit to Notre Sagesse.” Corrin started a little, and her heart drummed with strange excitement. “I don’t recall much about the King himself but his son was quite shy. I remember that I tried to make him to play with me, but he refused and ran away every time I chased after him. Back then I felt very insulted because of that; but I was a very hot-headed kid and I played rough with other children, and I failed to realize that.”

Corrin squinted at the surreal mental image. “He never mentioned meeting you before, or uh, ever meeting any hoshidan royal… It doesn’t sound like him at all.” —Then again, Xander never shared much of his own life prior her—and Ryoma didn’t seem like the type who’d make up such a story out of the blue. Ryoma sighed, seemingly struggling with his own words.

“Later in that visit, the kid came to me and said that he’d like to play before leaving with his Father. I honestly don’t recall how it went down, but he kept on mentioning that at first he didn’t want to play because he hurt his wrists while training. I was… perplexed by this. Back then, my father barely started to train me in the basics or swordsmanship, but this child from Nohr was already on his way to become a strong warrior. You can imagine that right after, I pressed Father to instruct me more seriously, I didn’t want to stay behind.” For a fraction of a second, Corrin thought she saw some sort of grin on his lips, but is passed away the moment he stopped narrating.

She didn’t want to believe this story was made up, no matter how fantastic it appeared, pride wouldn’t have allowed Ryoma to place Prince Xander anywhere near a positive light…

Corrin pursed her lips at the reminiscence. She missed her big brother, the man who taught her to wield a sword in that sheltered castle and had always seemed like a figure of great confidence and strength, not a shy little kid like Ryoma had described. But… thinking it through, it didn’t seem so impossible after all.

“… I wish I knew of this earlier. It sounds like you guys could have been very good friends.” She said, decidedly accepting Ryoma’s anecdote, but that only begged for the question: “When you faced him at the Hoshidan Plains, did you think about that?”

He simply shook his head in dismissal. “In the heat of battle, these memories would be so deeply buried, I wouldn’t recognize the Prince even if I tried, and I don’t think that he would either… When you strike your enemy with a sword, you don’t have the time to think on anything but the end of the battle, I’m afraid.”

“… You may be right. It was a nice thought nonetheless.”

The pause after that felt endless, Corrin wasn’t so much on edge as in the middle of their conversation, she even enjoyed hearing those bits about Ryoma’s childhood and Xander, but she didn’t know if this was the direction she should be expecting for a conversation while being captive. It was conflicting, to say the least.

“I can see why you want us to stop fighting, and I’d like to go along with your quest for peace, but I cannot stop the nohrians from following King Garon’s orders; I will defend Hoshido with my life and my sword.” The princess looked down in resignation and let out a small sigh. But he wasn’t done yet. “—Of course, that doesn’t mean that I should mindlessly take their lives. I believe your claims, and I’d be willing to hold back when a confrontation becomes unavoidable, Corrin.”

Then and there her eyes lit up, he didn’t even finish speaking and she was already overwhelmed with emotions. Despite being exactly what she wanted from him, it took her completely by surprise… 

“Thank you.”

They were merely words, she was aware, but nobody could ever convince her that they were meaningless. Maybe it was naiveté or instinct, but she wanted to take his words at heart for the comfort they gave to her.

He still seemed a little tense though. Couldn’t put her finger on it, but there was something burdening on him even after this talk, as if he didn’t say everything that he wanted.

“I don’t want to hold this against you, Corrin… But hours ago, we found out that Cheve fell. Most of the resistance was wiped out, their leader included.”

Corrin swallowed, couldn’t help but to feel guilty. “… Were they—?”

“No. As far as I’m aware, none of the nohrian royals were involved in this attack. However, I’m warning you now: My promise to you won’t work for the beasts responsible for this.”

“… I understand.”

It was a promise now, she realized.

…

 

 

TAKUMI

Unconsciously his hands trembled, he could still feel the blood soaking his clothes even after he changed them… when he sat down to give his report on Cheve’s downfall, the young prince of Hoshido couldn’t even look at his big brother to the eye. This was the third time that Takumi failed to him, and now to a hefty price.

Even if it didn’t show, Ryoma was feeling this loss more than anyone. Takumi felt that the least he could do for his brother was to tell him about Scarlet’s final heroic moments, and, for his mental health, omitted the details about what the nohrian fiends did to her after that.

Both brothers sat in front of each other for a brief while, and at the end of the report Ryoma asked him if he was fine; ironically, this question only made him feel even more ill. There was no use on worrying about his well-being when everything that he’s done had been nothing but a horrific failure after another.

The older prince gently asked him to go and rest, unusually gentle.

“I’ll meet you in the morning, Takumi. There’s someone that I need to see…”

“Who?”

Then Ryoma told him all about it. About Macarath, that they captured a valuable hostage and she was being kept inside the fortress’ little prison.

Takumi wanted to scream, to cry, to violently shake his brother, demand an explanation to this injury, but it took all of his self-control to not do any of that. The rage seared through his body and made his headache even worse than the last few days. He felt too emotionally and physically drained to protest and besides, he was ready to collapse on the first mattress he could find.

Thankfully, Ryoma had brought Takumi’s retinue along, so Oboro gladly showed him the way to his personal tent. He had no time for pleasantries; he simply fell on the comfy futon and blacked out.

Most of days he could manage to sleep a decent amount of hours and dream of nothing, but since the start of the war, Takumi started to have really bad nightmares again. They weren’t enough to make him neglect his sleeping hours, but whenever they returned, he’d wake up feeling sick and with his face wet. There was a few times in which Hinata or Oboro would be forced to wake him up whenever it got really bad, because, apparently, he was a loud sleep-talker.

This time he dreamed that he was back in Hoshido’s capital, at the destroyed block where hundreds of civilians, including Queen Mikoto, died. There it was the treacherous Corrin, the wretched sister for whom his Mother died to protect, still holding the body in her arms.

He reached out for her, and then realized that it wasn’t his Mother’s body anymore, but Scarlet’s, her eyes still open and looking dead into his soul. Then Corrin’s face turned to look at him, and he realized that she smiled softly much to his horror as it seemed like her right eye was nothing but a big red gaping hole.

Abruptly, he was woken up by the firm hand of Oboro, gesture that he appreciated from her. She was seemingly in better shape since their defeat at Port Town of Dia. She mentioned that he looked terribly ill and she could bring something to help him sleep again… but Takumi had to refuse. He tried to dismiss Oboro as fast as possible, just to be alone with his thoughts for a while. Still far from dawn, and the camp was shrouded in dark stillness around that dreadful fortress, no lights to make out the windows. He doubted he could shoot at arrow in one of them even if he found one that met with the prison cells.

So close to that traitor, yet even more untouchable than before…

Ryoma had mentioned that he wanted to see to her. What was the point? It couldn’t be that he was personally trying to persuade her into joining them, could it? That was preposterous. Corrin would never be part of Hoshido ever again, no matter what she did or what others thought. Nothing would change what already happened.

Holding on to this regret, he ended up accepting Oboro’s offer and allowed the medicine to knock him out until the sun touched the twisted shape of the old fortress, he wanted to be strong enough to look at that woman face to face.

…

 

 

“Takumi.” she tried to appear calm, even unsurprised. He couldn’t say that he was doing the exact opposite.

He didn’t come here to talk, or to listen. He only wanted to see her with his own eyes, the woman who once was called his Sister and then betrayed her own family right after Mother’s death. Here she was, caged like the criminal she was, where she could not hurt anyone anymore.

When he entered the prison hall, Ryoma’s retainer, Kagero, made him put his bow down at the entrance, merely following a security code imposed by Ryoma… which seemed reasonable enough. Whatever. Takumi had no intention of killing Corrin, but despite preparing himself mentally, he couldn’t help but to be on edge while looking at her, cursing every breath she drew.

Speaking of which… the prison cell smelled really funny. Was she even allowed to bathe?

“… Well? Don’t you have anything to say?” Corrin spoke again, standing close to the cell’s jail bars.

“No.” he responded, sounding as indifferent as he could.

“Then, I don’t understand the purpose of your visit” she continued. Gods, he hated when she tried to sound so confused. She couldn’t fool him. There was an unpleasant furrow between her thin brows which could be read as… _grief?_ “… If anything, I understand how you feel and I know that you don’t need to forgive me, but at least I want you to know that I never wanted to hurt you or my siblings—”

“Shut up!” His self-control couldn’t last long when he had to listen to her. “If you weren’t protected by these jail bars I wouldn’t hesitate to gouge your eyes out.”

“Takumi—”

“Stop speaking my name!” he cried, without realizing, he let his fists hit the iron bars of her cell, startling the wretched princess and alerting Kagero from afar. He ignored the cracking pain, surpassed by the awakened migraine drilling his skull. “I lied, I did have some things to say to you, ‘Sister’…  I wish it was you and not Mother. If only it was you who died back then, none of this would have happened! Why did she have to die so you could live? WHY?”

That traitor’s crimson eyes widened, still wearing that deceitful expression; did she make the same face when Ryoma talked to her? Did that expression inspired Azura of betraying Hoshido as well? These questions hurled on him like a rain of arrows, the more he thought of them, the worse they hurt.

“You know… I often wonder the same,” she murmured sourly. “Yukimura did say that she foresaw her own demise, but if she knew somehow the kind of path I’d take, I don’t know. I wish I knew… She was obviously more of a mother to you than me, and I’m sorry that she had to die like that. I’m so sorry.”

Takumi couldn’t tolerate that crack on her voice, the pathetic mug on her face, the way she tried to make him feel pity of her like a hurt puppy. It was unbearable.

“It’s too late to say sorry!  YOU SHOULD BE DEAD, NOT HER!” For a second time, he hit her cell’s bars out of frustration, so much anger that he could barely contain. This would be so much easier if Corrin didn’t have to put up that victimhood act.

Kagero intruded finally, pressing him to leave immediately, which was for the best anyway. Being here put him under a lot of unnecessary stress, and Corrin didn’t seem to be willing to talk back to him anymore.

At least he managed to say it to her face, and that was important.

…

 

 

“Lord Takumi! Wait, Lord Takumi! Your right hand!”

He had walked off for a while around the camp’s borders, engrossed by his thoughts on Corrin and Mother, he forgot about the pain on his hand and when he looked it up, he noticed that his glove had a hole on the back of his palm and it was leaking red too. _Blood_.

“Huh…” He was phased by this, he must’ve accidentally cut himself when he hit the iron bars at Corrin’s cell.

Oboro, the one who approached him, seemed more worried than him. “You’re bleeding so much that you’re leaving a trail all over the camp! How did this happen? And this glove is ruined too!” She took his hand to analyze how bad the damage was.

“Sorry Oboro… I truly didn’t notice.”

“Ouch, this wound looks so bad! Where did you cut your hand? Or was it someone? If that was the case, let me take care of—”

“Stop that, I’m okay. I hit myself, I swear. Damn it…” The cut wasn’t too deep, but upon closer inspection, Takumi felt the little hairs on his body stand with the sudden prickle of pain, plus she was also right: he was bleeding a lot. “Can you go and find a healer?”

Oboro tilted her head at the request. “Well, wouldn’t you come to see them with me?...  Are you sure you’re okay, Lord Takumi? It’s not like you to be so absent-minded.” He shook his head, paying no mind to that observation.

“I’ll just wait here, please. I don’t want anyone else to see me with my hand like this, understood?”

And his insistence to protect his pride wasn’t so alien to his retainer, so she simply obeyed respecting his desire to protect his self-image, even if there was nothing scandalous about a bleeding soldier. However, his retainer still looked somewhat wary, as if she noticed something else he wouldn’t tell… and he couldn’t blame her. Takumi never spaced out, yet he couldn’t really remember how he arrived to the outside of the camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> where is saizo and hinata?
> 
> Anyways, I totally forgot today is Ryoma's Birthday! Happy Birthday, my hot lobster prince.


	3. Insomnia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternative Title: Awkward mention of masturbation.

CORRIN

She couldn’t say that she didn’t see it coming: Takumi lashing out like that in front of her at the first chance, and couldn’t blame him either. Corrin knew that all she could do was to feel bad and apologize uselessly, because the damage was done. She hoped that one day Takumi would find it in his heart to forgive her...

Thankfully, her sentinel made him leave the prison before he could take his anger too far; the way he slammed his hand against her cell’s door really put Corrin on edge.

The princess learned the name of the female ninja who watched over, Kagero, mostly because Takumi offhandedly addressed her before the end of his visit. Corrin had only caught sight of her a few times since she was put in this cell, and her faint presence tranquilized Corrin. There was another one —Saizo, if she recalled correctly— but he was obviously more secretive when it was his turn to watch over her; that, and his spite for her was more palpable whenever Corrin caught glance of him. In every aspect, Kagero seemed far more gentle than the latter, and with that, Corrin decided to take her chances.

Couldn’t look at the female ninja from the cell’s door, but she called out anyway:

“Um, excuse me: can I ask for a book, please? Or anything to read?”

There was no answer for a few seconds after that, but she could have sworn she heard movement echoed throughout the empty prison. A few minutes later, Corrin was surprised while trying to comb her short hair with her fingers—she used to have it waist-length, but decided to cut it above her shoulders after her last visit to Hoshido—, Kagero appeared at her cell’s entrance and slipped what appeared to be a really old-looking nohrian history book.

“We don’t have much,” the ninja murmured, she was quite pretty once that Corrin managed to have a good look at her. Dark-haired, solemn, a tad buxom, just really pretty.

“… Thank you.”

She disappeared before Corrin could finish her sentence, but Corrin felt at ease with this new human contact… even if she certainly must’ve read a copy of this very same history tome years ago...

After an hour of reading about the First Dragons, Corrin returned to her exercise routine from yesterday, but stopped earlier this time around; she did sweat a lot but didn’t feel any sort of accomplishment or exhaustion, only frustration.

That night passed uneventful, but there was movement outside the fortress. She quietly masturbated again to help herself fall asleep, no matter how filthy she’d feel the next morning, although she’s been always terribly aware of how strong her scent was, she supposed it wouldn’t make any difference at this point.

… She bit down her lower lip hard enough to bruise, felt the sweat wetting the back of her blouse and the mattress as her heavy breaths pushed her into deep sleep.

…

 

 

The following day, the quiet Kagero took Corrin out her cell to a different room in the prison, where she was given soap, water and a sponge, plus a clean change of clothes for when she was done. Maybe they were finally fed up with her stagnant odor.

Even if she was being observed closely by the other woman while she washed herself, the entire situation was far from comfortable, but all that the princess wanted was to feel cleaner and somehow let the soap sting her skin hard enough and let her scrub away the shame that marked her in body and soul. She traced with her bruised fingers the branched red scars that traveled from her stomach to her breast, pondering if the marks would ever fade. The healer told her that it’d take months, if not years… but it was hard to know, since they were scars left by a legendary weapon.

At last, before she could finish pouring water over her short hair, Corrin noticed by the corner of her eye that at all times, the ninja lady would keep on looking away, her expression was deeply focused, and clearly seemed uncomfortable. Corrin smiled, thinking about how curious it was for a ninja to feel embarrassed over something like nudity, of another woman nonetheless.

Once she finished dressing up again, Kagero sighed discreetly in relief and escorted the princess back into her cell but Corrin couldn’t help to speak over this chance.

“Kagero, right? Thanks again for the book.”

It took a moment before the ninja replied: “I did only what I was told. Any requests you have should be first approved by Lord Ryoma.” It made perfect sense, _if_ only Ryoma had told her any of that in the first place.

“I wanted to ask, if it’s not inconvenient to you: why are you letting me wash myself today of all days?”

“It’s not my responsibility, I’m afraid. If it was up to me, we’d have you take a bath every two days instead.”

“That’s kind of you.”

“It’s just what feels appropriate.” Kagero was soft-spoken, but Corrin could detect a certain forbiddingness to her persona. “You haven’t looked so well, should I call the healer?” Corrin turned around as she entered to her cell, looking at the other woman in the eye.

“I’m just a little exhausted, that’s all.” She spoke the truth, but it was needless to say that being kept locked in a small room did no wonders to her person; she was glad to note that the ninja lady showed real interest, otherwise she wouldn’t even try. “… Why are you being so nice to me? Besides my brothers, you’re the only person who was spoken to me.”

“You have a very strange definition of ‘nice’, Lady Corrin.” Kagero sighed, closing the cell’s door and swiftly locking it. “Despite your… current position, Lord Ryoma still highly regards you. And I can see why he does: you’re kindhearted and you seemed genuine in your efforts to avoid unnecessary deaths.” Corrin grimaced a little, the mention of her life before this prison still weighed down on her. “But you can’t expect to be hailed a hero just because of that, not when you sided with Nohr, and certainly not when you resigned halfway, when the damage is already too deep. The least I can offer to you is bare respect for being Lord Ryoma’s sister.”

“I thank you anyways, it’s more than I deserve”, said Corrin, even if a little hurt with Kagero’s honesty.

The lady returned to her post out of Corrin’s sight, leaving her to her thoughts as she peered more deeply about the kind of imprisonment she was currently through.

Ryoma made it clear from their last conversation: while Corrin could arguably break out of this place and fight her way back to Nohr anytime, Corrin willingly stayed, accepting this captivity as a punishment;  a punishment for betraying Hoshido, for being a coward and a weakling.  It had been something almost unconscious at first, couldn’t grasp the real magnitude of this self-made penance, merely went along the hurt and embraced it.

It was quite pathetic, actually. Couldn’t get through her chosen path, and from any point of view it would seem like she’s given up.  Kagero was completely right about her.

…

 

 

After being visited again by the healer and treating the scar, Ryoma returned. Again with that goddamned red armor.

“You may leave us, Kagero, thank you.”

He wanted privacy this time. What could it be that he wanted to talk about? Anyway, when she meet his eyes again, she could tell that he seemed less tense than last time, a little tired, but in a better mood. It didn’t lighten her own mood, even if she didn’t want to appear nervous. Since Takumi’s last visit, she couldn’t help but to wonder if Ryoma wished to shield her from similar attacks…

“It’s not my place to ask, but… do you really have time to visit me this often, Ryoma? I’m surely not worthy of your time when you could be doing anything more important.” Corrin asked, crossing her arms anxiously.

“I never had the time to do anything at all with you. A traitor or not, you’re still my family and to my family I owe them my time.” His words sounded rigid in his mouth, his brow furrowed lightly in an apologetic way. “Don’t ever say that my family is not worthy of my time, Corrin.”

“Sorry, I can’t say that I don’t feel thankful for this, but still…” She shook her shoulders, her gesture self-explanatory.

“How about we just talk?”

Maybe Ryoma should realize that it was always uncomfortable to try to casually converse with her when she was still a prisoner and before that he struck her with his sword. She didn’t resent him, but she couldn’t ignore every implication of each other’s position and power imbalance.

“Alright, uh… but what… can we even talk about?”

“I’m your big brother. Don’t you have any questions?”

 “Oh, well… there’s so much that I’d love to ask you about my childhood, actually. How was it to grow up with me?”

He hummed softly, seemingly pleased. “You were… quite an energetic child. You couldn’t stay still for five minutes. You also played a little too rough, occasionally making Takumi and Sakura cry with ease. _Well_ , it was mostly Takumi, because Sakura was still a babe.”

“Makes an awful lot of sense.” Corrin chuckled at the mental image, couldn’t resist to compare with her own jagged childhood memories. She couldn’t stop blushing, how he was showing gentleness and she suddenly recalled the ghosting warmth when he caught her from falling off that horse back then. Corrin wanted to relish on that some more, even if only to distract her from this prison.

“… Did I ever cause you trouble when I was a child?”

“Not at all. Hinoka was the one who played with you the most and she could easily keep up with you. But… I did carry you on my back a few times when you tired of playing. I had to carry BOTH of you, if I recall correctly. But it wasn’t any trouble for me, I assure you.”

“Such a feat for a boy of your age, I imagine.” The sound of Hinoka’s name made her a little uneasy. She had done something terrible to her hoshidan sister.

“Were you… as playful when you lived in Nohr?”

Corrin paused for a moment. Of course that he’d be interested in knowing how was her life after she was abducted, and it wouldn’t do harm to share a little in return.

“As a matter of fact, I used to be a little fidgety. When I was in that castle in Nohr, I was told by my caretaker Gunter, that I had a hard time opening up to others, but when I was alone, I’d always be so restless so he’d play with me until I was tired. I managed to make some friends of my age in the castle and I learned to be gentler too, but when I was introduced to fencing, it became the most liberating experience for me; not that I enjoyed violence just for the sake of violence, it’s just that it helped me to burn out all that energy and I could fall asleep more easily.”

“You had trouble sleeping?”

“I don’t have many clear memories of earlier days, but I remember that it was a persistent problem at first. Some nights, I’d feel the fire in my gut so high that it’d keep me awake until dawn.”

Before she realized the meaning behind her own words, it was already too late to bite her tongue, and hopefully Ryoma wouldn’t have taken note of the context. The memories were not as vague as she thought, and strong embarrassment struck her into quietness for a few awkward seconds.

It wasn’t just during nights, but whenever she felt extremely frustrated or lonely…  She discovered masturbation when she was still very young, and unfortunately it wasn’t an isolated event, since nobody until then had taught her anything related to sexuality and everything concerned. Gunter had noticed it first and reprehended her more than once, lecturing her about why was it so inappropriate for a lady to do that; the only thing Corrin learned thereafter was that she needed to find a proper time and place for doing it. Years later she learned that there was actually a word for _it_.

“… Sounds like you struggled a lot with that.” It took Corrin a few moments to catch on that, Ryoma looked concerned.

“—Maybe it was because of the blood of the Dragon?” she added quickly.

“I’m not sure that’s how the blood of the Dragon works, Corrin.” The prince shook his head, yet she detected a strange stiffness in his face when he spoke. “You can turn into a dragon yourself, however, so I presume that all those years of not exploring your true potential gave you that excitable attitude.”

“It might be related, but I think nowadays I’m far from excitable… whenever I transform into a dragon, it’s like I’m overwhelmed with… rage and grief…” The bitterness in her words left both of them in silence. They would never forget the first time she ever transformed into a dragon, that fateful day when Mother was killed. “During battle, I’ve only used that power as a last-resource weapon, because even in the smallest periods of time, being a dragon makes me feel so… anxious.”

“Is that why you chose to not fight?”

Corrin sighed, didn’t expect the familiar sting to come back at her so soon. “No. I was simply… tired. I didn’t want to fight with you anymore. I didn’t want to strike you or anyone else down just so my sister Elise could live. It wasn’t fair.”

“… You’re truly a softhearted person, Corrin.” His crestfallen expression contrasted the warmth of his words. “I’m… sorry that you’ve been put through all of this.”

He was holding back. There was more that he wanted to say and it was at the tip of his tongue, she could tell, but he kept his mouth shut until it passed. Ryoma wasn’t looking for another disheartening conversation.

…

 

 

TAKUMI

They were to regroup their forces at Hoshidan territory, Ryoma explained, so they had to travel for almost a week through Nestran territory, they meant to go all the way down to the mostly-isolated peninsula in order to take a ship to Mokushu, as the Port Town Dia would be heavily guarded and the city of Cyrkensia was even worse. Rumors confirmed that King Garon was visiting that city, and right now it was unwise to confront him directly, Takumi had to agree on that. Although… it has passed through their minds the idea of using Corrin as a hostage, yet, with all things considered, it would only put their army in unnecessary danger.

The young hoshidan prince grimaced when he heard Ryoma’s protest against the idea of using Corrin as bait of any kind, as if she deserved any better than that. Takumi tried to understand the relevance of keeping her as their prisoner, tried to not even argue against his brother about it… but day after day, it was becoming clear that Ryoma was heavily intent on rehabilitating their backstabbing sister. It just felt… wrong.

Though Corrin was being treated less harshly, she was still forced to move around with her wrists bound with rope, sometimes carried by a horse, sometimes by foot, always heavily observed by Ryoma’s retinue, but every time they set a camp, she was well fed and Ryoma would often visit her in her tent…  and they would talk almost for hours; Takumi couldn’t help but to grow anxious every time she noticed him stare at her from afar—such afflicted eyes—, feeling his migraine grow back while his hands twitched on his Fujin Yumi.

At least, the nohrian princess looked drained and miserable half of time, so it comforted him to know that she was suffering, even if just a little. But how long would it take until she found a chance at betraying them once again? Or how long until any of her fake siblings found her and unleashed their wrath upon the hoshidan army?

Once more, he thought about the battle on Cheve, making himself sick.

It couldn’t happen again. Couldn’t allow it to happen to anyone he cared about ever again.

They arrived at a small port town, a fairly humble abode of minor traders, and it was made sure that there was no sign of nohrian forces awaiting for their army here. The ferries on the port covered routes towards Mokushu, and it was agreed that they’d sail off in the next day. Again, this was a very small and unremarkable town, they didn’t work as fast and efficiently as others, but there were fewer chances of getting spotted by the enemy in a place like this.

Even as they took over the small town, the use of force was unnecessary and they could rest easy as long as boundaries were respected. Ryoma arranged for Corrin to be placed in one of the town’s small inns, where she was meant to be hidden from sight for as long as they should wait for their ferry. It made sense to want to put her in a safe place, and of course they’d keep watch on her anyway, but Takumi felt extremely uneasy when she was out of _his_ sight.

“I understand your feelings perfectly, Lord Takumi, but you seriously need to rest.”

“You can keep watch on her as much as you want tomorrow all day. Now is the time to sleep.”

Both his retainers kept on talking him into going to bed, they pitched their tents around town, but Takumi wasn’t feeling tired at all, he sat against the trunk of a tree in front of the inn, his eyes always at the light inside the window of the room where Corrin was supposed to be —he managed to visit the room before she was placed in there—, and wondered for how long Ryoma intended to speak to her tonight.

Were they having a pleasant conversation? Reminiscing of the past that they briefly shared? Or perhaps tormenting each other with polarizing views about this war? The latter seemed most likely. Takumi always felt that his brother was a bit of a masochist if anyone could look into him deep enough.

It was past midnight, the light was put out and Ryoma had already left her alone and bid his younger brother goodnight, but Takumi wasn’t  going to look away from that window any time soon.

The sounds of the sea waves and the warm salty air gave his heart a small respite, even if that traitor Azura’s song spoke about the ocean’s waves, he just couldn’t resist the soothing whispers begging him to ease his mind into something more pleasant…

He always liked the sea. Never had a chance to enjoy a beach, bask in the sun and walk by the shore without a burden in mind. It was nothing but a silly fantasy, but he had wanted it for as long as he remembered. He had seen the sea many times, and it filled him with delight, but not even once he allowed himself to indulge in it, for he always had an outer image to keep.

Actually… he had always loved that song. Even now, with the misery born from the memory, he loved Azura’s song, although he’d never admit it.

Suddenly, his eyes caught something amidst the black coarse shades of the moonless night. Instinctively, he rose his yumi. Nobody was awake near him, so he was certain that he alone watched that shadow move. It moved very fast, like a lizard, and hovered for a minute under the window of Corrin’s room.

Takumi had his yumi ready, it’d take less than a second shoot one arrow to their back. It’d be terribly easy, and whoever this person was, they were incredibly careless for not noticing the young prince of Hoshido sitting below a tree and armed.

Such an amateur’s mistake, really. He could even bring himself to give a pity laugh.

But he didn’t.

He didn’t shoot his arrow.

He didn’t do anything.

The shadow opened the window, and he turned back and walked away, holding his breath, hearing the ocean’s song. He held it until he could hear the sounds of her screaming and glass crashing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being late. My wifi connection has been a nightmare for the past few days. Hopefully I can keep up with the weekly updates u.u
> 
> also, yes, i'm lowkey gay for kagero, i cannot help it, i'm sorry.


	4. Shame

CORRIN

Her first rational thought was that something in the darkness moved, something that wasn’t supposed to be here. Her second thought was to jump off bed and roll to the other side of the room while she shielded her chest and neck with her arms. Then she felt a small blade cut open the skin on her forearm as her eyes quickly caught up with the shadow of a man across her room, his knife shimmering in red and ready to strike again.

Gods, it really stung, but she quickly stepped up and prepared to catch her attacker’s hand, but she wasn’t fast enough.

She managed to deflect the knife’s blade to stab her neck, but it still slashed her shoulder and she cried in pain as her hand was struggling to immobilize the assassin’s arms. She was going to try to kick him, but he wouldn’t let her overpower him so easily, so he quickly  grabbed her from her wrists and threw her so hard to the wooden bedpost that she thought she’d black out from hitting her ribs on the blunt edge of the furniture. She gave a shaky breathless gasp, attempted to scream in order to alert anyone nearby.

The knife was meant to be buried in her body, but despite being in great pain, Corrin kicked up her legs and didn’t only stop the man’s advances but also shoved him in full force towards the bedroom’s window; he crashed so hard that the glass broke over his head.

That should have been more than enough noise.

The assassin didn’t even finish his groan in pain when Corrin leapt and with a forceful step kicked his arm’s joint, making his hand drop the weapon. Such a feat consumed her in physical pain because she was certain that at least one of her ribs was broken, and since she stepped so close to him, she also cut her bare feet with the shards of broken glass around him.

He didn’t give up that easily though, even with a messed up joint, he stood up and tackled her to the ground, placing his healthy elbow against her throat and pressing with all of his weight as he sat on her stomach. Corrin tried to cough but it hurt too much and she was quickly getting lightheaded as she attempted to get him off her. She tried punching him in the gut but he stood his ground and continued to crush her trachea…

She could simply transform into a dragon and be over with it. It’d be easy.

No. No, she couldn’t.

Corrin couldn’t afford to lose control in a time like this, she needed to be smarter than that.

She reached out with her fingers on the floor, feeling for a shard of glass, and in one last attempt for saving herself, she took it and drove the pointy piece towards the man’s face. There was deafening scream, she wasn’t even sure where did she stab him when most of her vision was black, but it effectively made him move away from her all at once while crying, and she gasped for long heavy breaths.

Then, her room’s door was violently slammed open.

“LADY CORRIN!”

“GET HIM! WE NEED HIM ALIVE!”

“She’s been cut! Go see if the knife has been poisoned too!”

“Of course it’s been poisoned! You know damn well that’s how we all do!”

“Just take care of that guy! I’ll take lady Corrin to the healers right away!”

The rest of that ranting was hard to hear, Corrin felt someone’s arms picking her body, and her senses were quickly spiking in pain; her blood felt so cold but so hot too… Her whole skin felt like it was run over by needles. It was like a violent river running through her veins and she couldn’t even understand what was happening as she kept on struggling to breathe.

Before she knew it, her consciousness sunk deep within a dark dream.

…

 

 

TAKUMI

A wave of panic stirred almost half of the camp, and of course, his big brother was the first one to be awakened at this hour, and of course, Takumi felt compelled to come and evaluate the situation even if it was the least wise course of action. His head felt heavy and at was like his insides were throbbing with dread, engulfed in dark emotions he couldn’t explain.

He followed Ryoma, whose face looked sullen and simultaneously alleviated. About a dozen and more soldiers have been moving around the inn and there was the sound of steps rushing everywhere, occasional order-yelling.

“You shouldn’t be up, Takumi.”

“I want to know what’s happening.” He lied, already aware of the nature of what went down; fortunately his own voice and face were far too tired to give away any signs to his brother.

“… Someone tried to assassinate Corrin tonight.”

“ _Oh_.”

“… Look, I know that you resent her, and rightfully so, but she’s still our sister. Shouldn’t you at least pretend to feel some concern about her?”

“Why? It’s not like she recalls ever being my sister. Or yours.”

“Takumi, don’t start.”

The younger brother hissed. “And I’m not like you or Hinoka: I almost remember nothing of her, and yet you think that I trained my whole life so one day I could help our family to be whole again. I’m not like you, Brother.”

“I don’t think—” Ryoma grimaced and crossed his arms, a reflex to conceal his feelings, not in the mood to argue nor to persuade his younger brother from leaving. Good thing that he didn’t notice how Takumi’s hands were trembling and his face sweating the whole time.

The young prince heard that Corrin was taken back to the camp, where healers were treating her wounds while they waited.

He started a bit when he heard the anguished cries of a man ripping through the tense atmosphere of the night, even Ryoma seemed unnerved by the sounds. They all knew perfectly well what all those screams meant.

Promptly, Saizo, his brother’s retainer, showed up and the dark sleeves of his clothes seemed stained with something dark and wet. Smelled like blood. He made a brief reverence to the older prince and gave his report.

“This assassin posed as a hoshidan ninja to infiltrate within our ranks, but during the interrogation we found out that he was a Mokushujin under the orders of a man named Iago, Garon’s main tactician. We’re also concerned about the possibility of another spy among us.”

The ninja’s dry words shook both of the hoshidan princes. It wasn’t just that this exposed Mokushu’s new allegiance with Nohr, but there was also the fact that a man so close to King Garon had planned this attempt against Corrin’s life could only mean that they had no interest on taking her back… not that it was all that surprising.

Putting everything else aside, Takumi had to make an effort to not overreact. In light of this new information, it didn’t change the part in which he allowed that assassin to infiltrate into Corrin’s room.

He allowed this to happen.

And the worst part was that he actually felt terrible about it. The guilt was wrapping itself around him like a snake, and he felt how it was oppressing his chest. He was at blame for this.

Ryoma sighed deeply, “Seems like keeping Corrin as a hostage could only matter to King Garon for a limited amount of time. Those cowards could easily have planned this out to make it look like she was murdered by our own people. We cannot let the word spread about this attempt. We shall keep this incident to ourselves.”

His words were firm and his expression dark, his retainer could only nod in obedience, but Takumi was feeling even more uneasy, filthy.

…

 

 

CORRIN

For how long she’s been in here, getting probed, drinking down nasty concoctions, feeling the painful warmth of magic closing her wounds? With her head all fuzzy and throbbing, she felt like time passed slower than it was supposed to, and half of time couldn’t understand what the people around her spoke about. She fainted a few times until she finally slept and didn’t wake until a few hours later.

It smelled like alcohol and blood, and the pillow bellow her head was damp.

There was a woman, an older priestess than the one who used to tend her scars, and she seemed to have a calmer look on her face when she put a wet cloth on Corrin’s forehead. It felt nice.

She was inside a different dimly lighted room, her head was still spinning but now she could move her head and her fingers. She still felt a little too feeble to keep her eyelids open, but she could recognize the firm voice that entered the room.

“Is she awake? How is she holding up?”

His voice made her smile unconsciously. It was one of the few things that cheered her up nowadays.

“I’m fine, I just woke up.”

The priestess lady shushed Corrin, addressing the prince at once: “Well, finding out the right antidote for the poison was a bit tricky, but she’s been responding well to the treatment. Her life is not in danger anymore.”

“See? I’m fine.” Corrin waved her hand weakly, couldn’t stop beaming despite the physical pain and the heaviness on her chest. The priestess stopped Corrin, obviously upset.

“Please don’t move! You suffered a serious rib fracture and you’re lucky that you didn’t puncture a lung. Don’t push yourself.”

Corrin stilled for a moment, taking a deep breath and waiting for her eyes to regain focus through the haziness, until she was certain that she could clearly see Ryoma sitting beside her bed. He seemed to be wearing the same red armor, as far as Corrin could tell.

And he leaned a little towards her, she could see the dark circles under his eyes more noticeable than before.

“You’re safe now. I’m sorry that we couldn’t spot the assassin sooner; we’ll make sure that it doesn’t happen ever again.”

The princess sighed, ignoring the little jolts of pain still cursing through her body. “The important thing was that I could fight back, even without the need of becoming a dragon. I’m glad that I was able to hold back.”

Corrin felt the prince’s heavy hand touch her shoulder. “Maybe you shouldn’t try to hold back, gods forbid, if there’s a next time.” Then, he turned his head to the priestess, as if asserting a wordless command, and the woman’s eyes widened.

“I-I’ll be right back! Seems like I’m needed out there!”

And so, they were both alone, even if the privacy of this room’s thin walls, frail like a soap bubble, it was always such a warm and gentle solitude. She knew she wouldn’t last awake for too long, but she cherished him nonetheless.

“Are we really in the mood to talk?” she arched her brows, looking at the prince’s black eyes —upon closer look, they seemed to be just a dark shade of gray—, and he pursed his lips.

“The antidote is still taking effect, so let’s hold off the long talk until you fall asleep, alright?”

“So you’re just going to keep me company until I pass out again?”

He chuckled lightly, it was a low sweet sound. “That’s the plan, yes.”

“What a brotherly thing to do, to watch over me when I’m in bed.”

It was just an old hidden impulse, the emotions conveyed her to arise her beaten body and come closer to his red demon-framed face. The pain sparkled through her bones, but she didn’t voice any discomfort.

She floundered for a kiss, aiming to touch his cheekbone with her lips but landed at the corner of his nose and above his mouth, making a tiny suction noise. His whole body tensed when she did this.

“W-what was that?” he gasped, staring at her in shock and it was followed by an uncomfortable silence. Now the skin of his face was bright red too. Corrin couldn’t say that she wasn’t surprised by seeing his flustered like that.

His mouth trembled for a moment before formulating words, quickly regaining his composure. In its own unique way, Corrin thought that it was adorable. “Ah, forgive me… I- uh, I forgot that it’s normal for nohrians to show affection like that.”

“Oh… I didn’t mean to catch you off guard like that.” She smiled apologetically; her own face was full of blush too. She could also tell that it was hard for him to keep a straight face, as he brought one of his hands up to his mouth.

She really didn’t stop to consider it, Corrin was so used to giving and receiving kisses from her friends and family —Elise was always openly affectionate, Camilla’s doting was more than overwhelming, Xander was very reserved about it, and Leo was never into it even if he tried—, so, seeing this reaction in Ryoma was something entirely new to her, and it lit a strange glow within her gut.

“Well, that was unnecessarily awkward.” The High Prince of Hoshido closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “It’d be tough to grow used to it, so please keep it at minimum, Corrin.”

And she smiled, so sincere and giddily. “I’ll try.”

…

 

Waking up was harder today than the last few days, not only for the slow growing ache of recent wounds, but also the usual electricity residue on her scar over her chest. She needed to swallow and take rhythmic breaths in order to help the pain lessen. There were days in which the scar wouldn’t hurt at all, but sometimes the pain would become as intense as in the first days…

With her foggy mind responding to deeply rooted habits, Corrin slipped her hand to the inside of her trousers, spreading her legs a little. She was already damp between her folds, but welcomed the slippery feeling regardless. With the other hand she traced beneath her shirt the small arborescent red marks of thunder, barely noticeable with touch now, but she knew that they’d still be visible. She wished she could stop thinking about the scars, or even associating them with her pursuit for petty pleasure and relief, but day after day, it was harder for her to fight against those wicked thoughts. It was the only thing she found that could genuinely give her some sort of physical satisfaction anyway.

She continued touching herself although she felt less and less oblivious of her surroundings.

When Corrin turned her head to her side, she discovered that Ryoma was still in the room, sitting awkwardly on the chair with his arms crossed, right next to her bed. He must’ve dozed off shortly after she did, otherwise he wouldn’t have stayed.

She remained still for a moment, holding her breath as she couldn’t look away from his sleeping face. For a moment, even if it went against all sane judgement, she considered to continue.

‘ _No, no, this is wrong. This is a line that you cannot cross_.’ She wanted to strike herself for even considering it! It was already bad that she begun to think of him like that, but to risk herself in such a way?

She lied awake for various minutes, observing him while his stern armored head nodded off, he breathed through his nose, casually making loud noises that could pass off as snorting. She almost wanted to shake him awake, but also wanted him to rest a little more. Someone like him could use some more sleeping.

In the end, he ended up waking himself a few more minutes later, catching her staring.

“Ah, sorry that you had to see me nod off like that.” He seemed flustered at first but rapidly returned to his former stern self, and soon left Corrin alone.

In the silence of the morning, almost in tears, she pondered what in hell was wrong with her.

 …

 

 

AZURA

Travelling to Cyrkensia was not without its troubles, as Princess Azura, lost child of Nohr, had to bear the burden of her nohrian ‘sisters’ for the rest of her journey. Camilla was always full of quiet rage and frustration, while young Elise had her spirit sunk into grief after recovering from the illness that nearly killed her. Both royal sisters loved Corrin so dearly, her decision to surrender left them miserable and Azura felt like she was hardly the adequate person to comfort them.

They were kind and loving towards her, something she never got to experience in the days when she lived in Nohr as a child. They were kind, and for that, she couldn’t bring herself to abandon them just to follow Corrin in her madness and hopelessness. Azura could only let them bathe her with love and sorrow to their hearts’ content, but she could not speak of her own troubles at all, everything concerning Corrin.

Corrin. Just by hearing that name repeated in her mind only made Azura feel heartache and anger, but also some sort of empathy. She had loved Corrin, even if they spent just a little more than a few weeks together, and Azura thought that she had seen a real shine of hope for Nohr within her… but perhaps she had been wrong?

The moment Corrin dropped Yato —it had been Azura who had taken care of the sacred blade ever since—she felt directionless...

No. It was more like, feeling completely helpless.

Princess Azura knew exactly what she needed to do, but without Corrin’s help, her own lack of social skills and with most of Hoshido’s army antagonizing her, she couldn’t do it. She was stuck in the dead end of the road of fates.

Upon arriving to Cykensia, everyone’s morale was on the ground, and since it has been informed to King Garon that his ‘daughter’, Princess Corrin, had been abducted once more by the hoshidans, his rage was to be expected.

Azura was brought before him with Camilla and Elise in order to soften the blow of this loss with the news of her return. She braced for the worst, to seeing his decayed face after all these years, Azura was slightly surprised with how well he took all the news. He barely addressed a few words to her and then dismissed all his daughters before leaving to the opera.

Some things never changed, she thought grievously. At least he didn’t seem to think of harming her for now.

Until now, she’s been almost always in company of Camilla and Elise along with Corrin’s retinue and friends, Jakob, Kaze and Felicia. Of course, the three latter respected Azura’s need for space and tranquility more than her two ‘sisters’, so they didn’t hold her back when she asked to be allowed to wander alone for a while.

It wasn’t that she took any pride on her own unsociable nature, but it was something she simply needed. And now more than ever, Azura wanted to be alone.

That night on Macarath, she felt tempted to act on her own, to dare in a way Corrin never would, she wanted to head at the opera house too, even if she politely declined the invitation to come along… Cyrkensia was a large crowded and richly cultural city, she figured that she’d barely be noticed among too many colorful performers.

For that, she didn’t expect that she’d be found by one of the nohrian royals. She was stopped on her tracks at the great theater’s backstage and she couldn’t do anything about it anymore.

“You must be the lost princess, Azura. I never thought that we’d ever meet.” Upon hearing his aloof yet inquiring voice, she straightened her back and tried to shove her worries to the back of her head.

Azura made a small reverence. “Prince Leo.”

He was the second youngest of the royals, she had never truly seen him during her days as a princess of Nohr, she had heard his name mentioned many times. Blond, pale and with such a sharp inquiring look on his brown eyes; that was Leo.

“… I wanted to thank you for looking after my sisters too. I know that losing Corrin again hasn’t been easy on anyone.” She understood perfectly, and it wasn’t a wild guess to think that Leo was also affected by it; he was still so young. “And I find it admirable that you stood your ground against the Hoshidans, even if they took Corrin away.”

So he heard. Probably his retainers informed him, as they have been there when it happened, but just recalling it and Ryoma’s acerbic words towards her only made Azura sick. “I don’t think it was admirable at all. If anything, I’m surprised that I didn’t go with them.”

“Ah, I understand.” Leo sounded troubled himself, he wasn’t good hiding it as her, so she could tell on the smallest gestures of his body how tense he really was. She had grown familiar with how kids did to conceal their pain. Leo sighed as his shoulders shook, “Father has assigned me to take over Corrin’s army, so, whatever tasks that befell on Corrin’s shoulders are now begrudgingly mine. I guess we’ll have to get used to each other’s company if that’s fine with you.”

He walked to a close corner of the backstage and found a bench to sit on, a place where he could barely get noticed. Azura approached, as if pulled by an invisible string.

“… You seem upset about something”, she murmured. Leo had his gloved hand rubbing against his face, visibly more than just upset.

Leo was trying very hard to keep his voice cool, but the words were more than enough. “Father has forbidden all of us to go after Corrin; any attempts to rescue her will be foiled. To him, she’s as good as dead now that she has utterly failed in his eyes.”

“Is that how he handles disappointment?”

“He’s being difficult, but nothing can be done about it. Not as long as I’m under his thumb.” He grunted, his hands couldn’t remain still, he didn’t know what else to do with them. But if there was something more worth of noting, was that he had the eyes of someone who hasn’t given up yet. “And believe me, there’s nothing I’d like more than to keep Corrin out of trouble, for sanity’s sake.”

Princess Azura clenched her lips for one second, pondering about his reasons to open up to her like this even if they basically just met.

But maybe there was a good reason behind that, and Azura was ready to take her chances as long as Corrin wasn’t there to be relied on. Leo was young but somber, and no doubt that his wits were an asset far more impressive than Corrin’s heart…

“Leo, maybe I can help you to think of something, if you’d like to trust me.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tag Added: Corrin has Issues. Also, I have no idea what I'm doing with Azura, I remembered that I needed to add plot to this thing.  
> And yes, That Scene is probably a huge reference to Black Swan, you're welcome.


	5. Sister

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANXIETY GALORE

CORRIN

Something happened the morning after the attack, and seemingly they were not going to take the ferry to Mokushu after all. Of course, as always, she was kept away from all the major details concerning this decision. To where would they go next? She wasn’t told yet.

Corrin thought that she’d grown used to this treatment, but every time that her questions were ignored, she felt like wanting to pull her hair off.

She sat outside today at a bench stationed near the port town, she welcomed the beach’s sweet air and the echoing sound of the waves, and if she could close her eyes for a moment she could almost forget that she was being watched and her wrists and ankles were carefully shackled to the bench she was sitting on. Almost. The effect of tranquility would die out quickly every time she tried to immerse herself in pleasant thoughts.

Even when she was surrounded by a small group of people most of the time, she couldn’t help but to feel incredibly lonely. Of course, Ryoma had visited her and talked to her almost every day, and she learned so much about him and their forgotten childhood together… But after every heartwarming conversation, she’d be left alone with the crude reality that she was still their prisoner. With the weight of Takumi’s hatred, the distrust of the hoshidan army, the constricted space; she could feel anxious and content, loved and lonely, from one moment to another. This anxiety was slowly overpowering her. Of course, she made sure to not let it show, but it was just a matter of time…

It wasn’t just that, but also the looming guilt of the feelings that blossomed against all odds, and Ryoma unwittingly fed them day after day. This morning, when she unconsciously touched herself near his presence, it left her with the thrill and the dread of its dangerous significance.

And the most troublesome part was that she wasn’t ready to stop herself, not as long as her sanity was hanging from a thread. It was wrong, it was pathetic, and she wanted to get away from it… but not today.

Waking from her bubble of thoughts, she yawned loudly as she crossed her legs on the bench. She could now see the movement occurring within her brother’s army, and by the looks of it, people were a little agitated—for what happened last night, she presumed— and there clearly was some tension between the locals and soldiers, but no signs of strong conflict so far.

Finally, she looked at her side and watched the ninja Kagero walk towards her, holding a small ceramic cup in her hands and then offered it to her. A couple of soldier that passed by stared at them. “You may take this tea, milady. You clearly haven’t slept enough.”

Corrin smiled a little, taking the cup. It was still hot to the touch, but she didn’t mind.

“Did you make this?”

“I did not.” The woman responded blankly. _Of course, what a silly assumption_. Surprisingly, Kagero didn’t disappear right away, like she normally would. She sat on another bench in front of Corrin, not too far. Even if the black locks of Kagero’s hair covered half of her face, it was easy to notice from this distance her exhausted expression.

“Kagero, sorry for the trouble I’m causing you”, the shackled princess said.

“It’s no trouble at all.”

“But the rest of the soldiers stare at you when you’re too close. Maybe you shouldn’t sit in front of me.”

“They should know better than to question that I’m only doing Lord Ryoma’s biding. Please drink your tea.”

Well, she didn’t wish to make Kagero’s life harder. She drank up the warm liquid, burning her throat a bit in the rush, the blend was a little bitterer than what she was accustomed to, but she grew used to the flavor easily. She tried so hard to not think of how much she missed Jakob’s tea, Felicia’s attempts at preparing it, or Gunter’s masterful guidance; she’d end up feeling worse than before if she let the memories linger and sting her again.

Distraction. She needed a distraction.

_Think of something else. Think. Look._

She watched Kagero again, who seemed to be doing a quick check-up with her own belongings in a bag.

“… I couldn’t help but to notice that you’re always carrying that notebook; are you also taking surveillance notes like your partner?”

Not the best icebreaker for a ninja whose work was to watch her, but she just had the feeling that in all the time she spent close to Kagero, Corrin knew that there was some sort of confidence born from the few times they exchanged words with each other. Undeniably so, she knew they grew to like each other, even if just a little.

“Normally I’d tell you that it is, but I’m afraid that this is just an old sketchbook.” The woman said, grazed said object with her fingers.

“I see. I didn’t know that you liked to draw”, she bit her lower lip, feeling genuinely curious. “I don’t mean to pry, but can I see?”

Kagero’s face yielded a bit. “… Perhaps another day. Normally people don’t respond too well to my art, I hope that you understand.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I hope that the day comes in which there’s no issue with doing that.”

“It’s not about it being an issue. I just… don’t feel comfortable with showing it off. It really has nothing to do with you.”

“It can’t really be that bad. I mean, my handwriting is pretty awful.”

Kagero sighed. “Please stop baiting me into showing you my sketchbook.” And then Corrin smirked softly.

“You got me.”

It wasn’t enough to lift the weight off her chest, but at least she could pretend that she was less overwhelmed. Having someone to talk to wasn’t always the same thing as having a friend to count with.

Then, Corrin noticed the sudden movement within the army, some sort of excitement that directed them to the town’s harbor. From afar Corrin could see the white sails of what appeared to be a large ship, the symbol of the Hoshidan royalty was engraved on the pristine cloth.

“What’s going on?”

“It must be your sister. Seems like you’ll be greeted by her soon enough”, Kagero mentioned, if she was surprised by this sight, it didn’t show. Then her dark eyes were fixed back at the captive princess. “Are you prepared for that?”

Corrin gathered her strength, trying to not let her cracked spirit sink into the ground. She let out a shaky breath and continued smiling.

“No. Not really.”

…

 

 

TAKUMI

“I really can’t believe you! How did Yukimura end up allowing you to come?”

Sakura shook her head frantically, clenching her small fists in her white gloves. There was a quiet kind of determination flushing her face. He immediately understood that she transgressed the wishes of many just to come here. “I-I want to make myself useful, even if I can hardly f-fight!” she stuttered.

“… You wouldn’t believe how far she’s come on her own.” Hinoka, his older sister walked behind them, she was seemingly in better spirits than the last time they met. “Even when you were gone, she tried to practice with her yumi as best as possible.”

Takumi frowned. “Really? But I told you that I’d be the one to teach you!”

“I know! I-I know that you’re the best for that, a-and I’m sorry that I couldn’t wait for you! I’m still no-good at it anyway.”

“Don’t be so modest, Sakura; I’ve seen you improve incredibly fast in the span of one week… even if Setsuna has been a lousy teacher.”

“Hinoka!” the little sister gasped in shock, but the damage was done and Hinoka failed to see that. Setsuna was one of Hinoka’s retainers, but wasn’t well-known for being the most watchful of archers.

He felt quite happy when he realized that Sakura came out of that ship too; after such a dreadful night, Takumi needed at least one positive thing to come today, and Sakura had been a source of reassurance to him for years…  Still, he couldn’t help but to feel disappointed to know that his little sister Sakura started already without him: he’s been looking forward for it for a long time.

It was hard to conceal the chagrin in his face, besides, he was tired. Sakura was always the first one to pick on those things before anyone and Takumi was aware of how deeply they were connected to each other, for being both the younger siblings.

“So, you had Setsuna of all people to teach you, huh?”

“Think nothing of it, Brother, please.” Sakura’s expression was almost imploring, she didn’t want him to get any more aggravated.

“Takumi, don’t get too upset about it. Nobody has said that you’re not going to teach her anymore.”

Hinoka, on the other hand, couldn’t notice these kind of subtleties until they were too hard to ignore, and probably for the best, because she could be a little overbearing once she noticed that something was wrong.

After Ryoma, Hinoka was the fiercest and most determined princess of her family; her presence was vibrant and red even at these dire times, making Takumi pale in comparison.

Ryoma arrived at the harbor, where all the family was stationed in front of the majestic ship; finally everyone was together after months of being apart, and it felt kind of weird. Sakura cowered a little at the presence of her eldest brother, since she was not supposed to be here in the first place, but she was reassured right away when Ryoma acknowledged her with a kind smile. Meanwhile, Takumi grimaced at his brother’s presence, not over with the tense discussion they had last night.

“I apologize for making you wait, Hinoka. I’m glad to see you safe. Both of you.”

Hinoka nodded solemnly. “The same I could say about you. Nice to see you.”

“It’s nice to see you too.” Sakura added shyly.

“But as much as I’m grateful for this surprise, I must simply ask you why did you come back for us? How did you find us?”

“As you might’ve figured, the situation with Mokushu has grown grim. They abandoned their neutrality and closed their borders to Hoshido. It’s been an extraordinary coincidence that we encountered you in this port town of all places.”

“Thank you, Hinoka. Unfortunately, we’ve been recently informed that Mokushu has made an allegiance with the nohrians. We’re extremely fortunate that you found us now that my army was in need for a new route back home.”

“I’ll fill you in with our current situation later. But first… Is it true? You’ve got Corrin? Is she truly here?”

Hinoka’s question struck a nerve on Takumi, making him unconsciously cross his arms. He should’ve seen this one coming, knowing exactly how Hinoka felt about their treacherous sister.

Ryoma was visibly tense at his sister’s question, but confirmed those claims without faltering, explaining the implications of Corrin’s capture without unnecessary detail. But that was aside the point. The imprints of that guilt were still fresh under his skin. Takumi didn’t wish to stay among them as long as they discussed about Corrin, feeling sicker and sicker the more he was forced to think about her and his own crime.

He excused himself, telling them briefly that he didn’t sleep well and needed to rest. And it was true, but above anything, he wanted to be left alone. Sakura was concerned about it, obviously, but when she tried to follow him, Takumi simply shrugged her worries off.

“I’m fine, I just want to sleep for the rest of the day.”

“Still… m-maybe I should check up on you. I know that you may say that you’re fine, but I-I know that it’s not true!”

“Okay, you’re right, but that’s why I want to sleep, and that’s why I want to be alone. Please.”

Sakura hesitated to nod, but she did let him go alone, nothing to ease her worries. Takumi didn’t want her to perceive all the signs of how bad he actually was; she didn’t deserve that burden.

And so, he kept walking away, farther back into the camp, feeling like he was going to pass out anytime soon, feeling as if snakes were crawling beneath his skin. He wanted to snuff all those throbbing thoughts about Corrin…

His head was really hurting today.

…

 

 

CORRIN

“I didn’t expect that we’d meet again like this, my little sister.”

“Hello, Hinoka.”

She’s been waiting for this encounter for agonizing minutes ever since the ship stopped at the harbor, but now that the moment finally arrived, she felt incredibly sick. From the few moments she spent with Hinoka before the war broke out, Corrin had known that her hoshidan sister had loved her deeply even after all those years they spent apart, a connection that Corrin couldn’t reciprocate in the same manner, but she was capable of understanding. For that, when Corrin decided to go back to Nohr, Hinoka’s words almost broke her. ‘ _What have I been fighting for all this time?_ ’ Corrin realized that she committed an act of extreme cruelty towards her, who only wanted her family to be back together, just like Ryoma.

Hinoka approached her, while both were observed by Ryoma’s ninjas from the distance, the redhead princess’ shoulder looked stiff, her expression was full of grief.

“I wanted so badly to see you again, in a civil way in which we didn’t have to point our weapons to each other… But now that I finally have you like this… I-I don’t even know what I want to say!” 

Corrin bit down her lower lip, unable to look at the hoshidan princess’ eyes. “… You don’t have to say anything. I’m sure you’ll manage to when the time is right.” But Hinoka shook her head, seemed even more upset.

“I just don’t know how… I just can’t understand how could you give your back to us in the first place. It really hurts, you know? Even if you surrendered, it doesn’t mean that you’ve come back to your senses, right? It doesn’t mean that you remember me or that your feelings have changed. That’s why you’re still restrained.”

“Hinoka…”

She wanted to sob, let her own tears flow as she heard Hinoka’s voice crack more and more with her last few words… but she didn’t. No matter how much it hurt, Corrin needed to stand her ground, hide the hurt.

“Why did you forget about us, Corrin? Why did you forget about me? What in the world did that nohrian scum do to you, and why do you try so hard to not see it?”

“It’s not their fault! Don’t start talking about things you don’t understand”, Corrin muttered, and Hinoka only scowled, showing her teeth.

“Indeed, I don’t understand, Sister. I simply can’t understand how can anyone willingly do something like this to a little girl.”

Corrin gritted her teeth, the heat was rising up to her head. “If you’re asking me to vilify my nohrian siblings—”

“I’m asking you to open your eyes!” Hinoka barked, her frustration and anger pair with Corrin’s. “You had a noble goal and a good heart to go with it, but you failed to see the big picture! Forget about your family’s feelings, forget about what’s wrong and what’s right: you have to realize what they’ve done to YOU!”

That last word resonated loudly within Corrin, and the hoshidan princess was heaving with tears were rolling down her face, just like back then at the Hoshidan Plains, same sadness and same choler. But this time, Corrin mirrored the exact same feelings, something dreadful and disgusting was unraveling within her mind because of Hinoka’s words.

Corrin just barely realized that her wrists and ankles were tensing against the shackles, the heated argument with her sister lured the attention of several soldiers. Hinoka, realizing this, turned her back and walked away.

Good, because Corrin wasn’t sure how well her sanity would endure if she was forced to listen any more of Hinoka’s claims.

Her wounds still hurt, mental and physical, and now she was burdened with a new set of thoughts that she truly didn’t want to contemplate, threatening to destroy everything that she still held dear. 

…

 

 

They spent another night at the port town, Corrin was placed inside a different house, better guarded on the outside by Ryoma’s demands. The ache of her closed injuries had awakened her again, but Hinoka’s words drilled deeper and deeper still. Eventually, her own homesickness made her think about Nohr again. Her beloved Nohr.

Her hands were shaking when she embraced herself inside the thin sheets of her bed. Her wrists were sore with the red marks of the shackles, now removed.

Corrin had known that something was amiss ever since she had the ability to reason. Even with the Concubine War during her childhood in Nohr, she always suspected that there was more to it than she was informed—King Garon once told her that her mother was a sickly peasant woman who died during childbirth, no names given—. But she had believed in those stories, never questioned them… when did that happen?

When did she gladly started to swallow all those lies? When did she forget completely about her past in Hoshido?

Corrin reconsidered, as the grown woman she was now: what did they do?

It couldn’t have been trauma alone what made her turn away from her hoshidan roots… They were years and years of a constant and deliberate process, perhaps, until the memories of the little hoshidan princess were completely wiped out. Dark magic, drugging, manipulation… there were so many things that could have been used under her nose and yet she never saw them for what they truly were; and it must’ve been something continuous, so thorough that her only earliest memory was that of her real father, King Sumeragi, being executed before her eyes, for years dismissing it as only a bad dream.

Her skin crawled by just thinking about it.

Corrin tried to remember her past so many times since she came in contact with Hoshido, but there was nothing in her.

She dreaded, they succeeded in murdering the little hoshidan princess years ago. Only a husk of her remained, a new princess born.

Corrin’s panicked thoughts were racing, an unfathomable horror taking over. Who else could have been involved in this atrocity, besides King Garon? Gunter? Her retainers? … Her siblings? _No_ … No, they couldn’t be… _Could they?_

Tears began running from her eyes, the cries that followed were so strange that they didn’t feel like her own. The horror was twisting inside her stomach, she was sure she’d have thrown up on her bed if she didn’t get up.

Maybe Ryoma had been right all along.

She’s been brainwashed by the Nohrians… and the worst part of it all was that she still couldn’t hate them for that. She was angry at herself instead, for being always so weak.

…

 

 

Tomorrow many would say that she finally snapped, that she finally went mad because of her captivity, and part of it was true, Corrin would acknowledge. It could also be the blood of the Dragon cursing through her veins, threatening to make her volatile if she fell into rage, and she’s been painfully aware of it since her dragonstone was taken away from her. She allowed in the grief and the self-loathing, but never the wrath.

Gasping for air, she looked down at her arm. It grew three times its original size and her black and gray scaly claws developed across her limb, and behind her back she could feel something large and thin flapping wildly—a wing—; her bones felt like they wanted to tear out her skin… Her transformation was incomplete, and in the fit of rage she destroyed the door of the room she was put in. It didn’t take too long for the guards to enter and yell at her, aiming their iron weapons at her. Kagero was there too, she yelled the loudest.

Corrin tried to hold back, she tried so hard to make the dragon stay inside… she was already so damp in her own sweat and tears, and part of herself wanted to let it loose completely, make a run for it…

The scar on her chest started to burn so much suddenly, feeling as if it was about to crack her open, and she cried out not knowing if she should ask for help or to tell them to get away.

For several minutes there was a lot of shouting but nobody took any action or stepped any closer to the princess while she struggled to keep the pain and the draconic wrath in hold; Corrin contained herself in a crouching position until she heard the voice of the man who gave her that painful scar in the first place.

“Corrin!”

She groaned, feeling her transformed arm pulsing with rage. “Leave!”

There was spite, frustration, sadness in her own timbre; he was the last person she wanted to see right now. She didn’t know if she could hold back any longer if he came near her in a moment like this.

But when she looked up at him, Corrin immediately recognized the precious stone that he carried in the palm of his hand, and almost instantly she felt the swelling go down, gradually making her body revert back to normal. Almost right after, Ryoma ordered his people around to move out, calling them out for not putting their weapons down.

In less than a minute, the once overcrowded room was completely empty, only the prince of Hoshido and Corrin remained while she was slowly regaining her breath and letting her body cool down while she was on the floor.

The scar still throbbed though, and the presence of Ryoma wasn’t improving her mood tonight. Corrin didn’t need to look up at him to know that he was angry too.

“Don’t ever do that again, Corrin! Don’t ever give them a reason to hurt you!”

She clenched her fists. “I didn’t do it on purpose! How could I want to suddenly go on a rampage? Would you please just leave me alone?!”

“No. Corrin, look at me! Look at me!” He crouched right in front of her, and she finally looked at him in the eye, a mirror of her own anger. “This is where your decisions took you; with your power you can’t spare a single moment to break under the pressure, not when you’re halfway in your path!”

“So, this is what it’s all about? It’s me walking down a path to redemption, according to you. It matters not if I break here and now: I’m still your hostage, remember?” She wanted to reach to his face and claw at him viciously, but she remained still as her grief and frustration took reins of her words. “... I know that you’re trying to protect me and want me to feel like I can still be part of your family, but you said it yourself: this is where my decisions took me. Why can’t you just accept that? I’ve hurt Hinoka and Takumi and Sakura, and from all the time that you spent coming to me and talking to me, making me know that you care about me, I can tell that you’re hurting too because you realize that the little sister you’re trying to find in me is not here! She’s been dead long ago! I’ve been trying to reach her too, but she’s nowhere to be found, Ryoma! I may look like her, even act a little like her, but I can’t _be_ Her!”

And before she realized it, her throat had gone raw with all the things she screamed at him, and little by little Ryoma’s dropped his head, even if his face remained perfectly untainted by emotion, his sadness was perceptible.

Corrin sobbed, her shoulders were trembling violently, finally bringing herself to speak again: “Just tell me… for how long do you intend to keep this up? Do you truly see your little sister Corrin when you look at me?”

And then there was silence. Corrin held her breath for a few seconds, as she tried to calm down her relentless sobbing; with tears filling her eyes Ryoma’s face was only a hazy picture in front of her, but she started as his gloved hand reached out for hers, seeking to provide comfort.

“Maybe you’re right. I may have lost my little sister, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t love you.” His voice was cold, holding back as always. “What I’m trying to say is that it’s not hopeless to keep trying for your sake; I’m not going to give up on you, and neither should you.”

His words were meant to be inspiring, she knew this, and it was all for the best interest in her… but in the end those words didn’t comfort her at all. She was still broken, she was still trapped and he was still trying to fit her in a place where she didn’t belong.  

“Ryoma, I don’t know…” the princess shook her head, taking her hand away. “I’m not sure if I can give you what you want.”

Did he even realize how much it hurt?

And suddenly chaos broke out outside the building. Ryoma perked up instantly at the sound of explosions happening nearby, even Corrin reacted to the suddenness of it.

“AN AMBUSH! IT’S AN AMBUSH!” a soldier screamed outside. Ryoma and Corrin looked at each other, the anguish still alive but now he had a rush of resolve, as he was needed in the battle. Corrin understood that perfectly well, and she nodded at him in conviction. His guards appeared right away, informing him of the situation.

He looked back at Corrin once more, giving one last look of reassurance to her. “I’ll have them take you to the ship while I take care of this.”

And she didn’t complain, she didn’t have to intervene. It frustrated her, but right now she had no place in their fights, not as long as she was still their monstrous prisoner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was a lot of drama, and we still haven't gotten to the good part! I originally didn't intend to give Hinoka such a large role in this chapter, but I figured that she was too important to ignore.  
> Also, I have no idea how the dragonstone/dragonpower works, so I'm practically pulling this shit out of my ass. As for Corrin's charactertization, I think I may be projecting a little too much on her, because there's a lot of things that always bothered me about the character. I hope I'm not messing this up.


	6. Arrows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a Takumi Chapter! Stay tuned for next week for more messed-up Ryoma/Corrin!

TAKUMI

Lately he’s only had that one nightmare in which he is again at the capital’s square, where his Mother and dozens of innocent citizens died after the explosion. The scene repeated itself in front of his eyes again and again, and every time he’d see Corrin holding the corpse of his Mother or Scarlet only to look up at him and smile innocently… always with that gruesome hole in place of her right eye.

But this time, it was different. This time, an arrow was stuck inside of that wound so disproportionately big for it. Pushed by instinct, Takumi reached out for the arrow and pulled it out of Corrin’s head, and pure horror crept down his neck when a cascade of thick crimson goop poured out of her right eye. It overwhelmed him so that he thought that he'd drown in it.

Takumi woke up at the thunderous sound of battle manifesting right outside of his tent. His retainer Hinata barged in his tent, breathlessly telling Takumi that they were being ambushed by enemy forces. He jumped out of bed, demanding Hinata to help him prepare for battle as he reached out for his sacred weapon, the Fujin Yumi.

It was so sudden, Takumi began to wonder if he was still dreaming… he had to snap out of it quickly, as his bow wouldn’t work unless he was completely focused on the battlefield.

There were Faceless swarming all over the place, nohrian mages in a fewer quantity, his brother’s army was countering with everything they had; Takumi quickly analyzed the situation as he moved behind Hinata wielding his katana, towards Oboro who was currently fighting off a Faceless twice her size with her spear.

The Faceless were nothing new to them, as for years they’ve been the only creatures that have attacked Hoshido, they were intimidating in size, humanoid bodies bloated with disgusting gray skin, most of them dragging iron shackles as they sprinted towards their preys. One couldn’t help but to wonder if they were truly human once.

“Have the villagers been evacuated yet?” Takumi asked in a hoarse voice.

“What did you say—?” Hinata yelled, words were easily lost among the heat of battle.

“The villagers! Did they escape?”

“Lady Sakura took it upon herself to do that! Look out!” Oboro yelled as Hinata put himself in harm’s way, giving his Lord time to invoke the power of his sacred weapon. The arrow of light took form and Takumi shot to the Faceless that almost threw Hinata out of balance with one massive punch.

“I’ll go find Sakura, you two do your best to stay alive, got it?”

“Lord Takumi, are you sure…?”

“We’re coming with you!”

“You’re both needed right here. I need to handle this matter on my own.” He commanded one last time, even if they seemed hesitant to let their liege go on his own. He understood their concern, but they knew better than to dissuade him… besides, Takumi knew his weary conscience couldn’t take the possibility of making another mistake.

The flashes of his failure at Cheve were still open wounds and he couldn’t stop dreading over the thought of his sister Sakura in danger, even if she was certainly being protected by her own retainers. The phantom of Scarlet’s vacant stare nourished the irrationality of this fear...

…

 

 

CORRIN

It was chaos at the harbor, Faceless were scattered everywhere, and soldiers were trying to keep them from getting closer to the ships. On the top of that, the townsfolk were trying to run away under the direction of the hoshidan soldiers. Corrin watched a small young woman guiding the civilians through a safe route and she immediately recognized her as her the little Princess Sakura; a pegasus rider and a young samurai were close to her, possibly her retinue.

But it wasn’t the time to stop and observe. The two guards entrusted with taking Corrin into the ship were pressing her to the harbor, often pulling at her to stop when the road seemed too dangerous to continue. There were too many enemies and they seemed to be targeting the townspeople of all things… 

Corrin grew more and more nervous; Ryoma was supposed to be on the front, probably reducing the numbers of enemies as much as possible. She had only seen Ryoma fight a few times, his swordsmanship abilities were unparalleled, seeing him swing that sword and avoid every single blow was a spectacle to the eyes. His retainers seemingly joined him in battle as well, their skills would be far more useful out there anyway.

Suddenly, one of the guards screamed as a large shadow was cast upon them, and Corrin’s first instinct was to pull him back before the massive creature could land a blow on him.

“Stand your ground!” the other one yelled, pulling out his katana intending to fight off the Faceless, and the one that Corrin just saved quickly did the same. “Stay close, Lady Corrin!”

Of course, these guards were average in strength, she’d help them fight if she could, but she was nearly useless without a weapon, not to mention that she was still tired from her recent outburst.

They were still a little too far from the ship, and it was too much of a chaos to make a run for it, wherever she could choose to go.

Corrin knew that only nohrians could come up with an attack like this, but it couldn’t be any of her siblings doing this, could it? They wouldn’t risk using Faceless to mindlessly attack a town just to save her, so this definitely couldn't be their doing. She even started to notice dark mages running among the monsters, casting magic to cause further destruction. This was an act of terrorism, not a real battlefield.

Then her eyes darted to her side, not too far from where she was with the guards, bursts of thin sharp light flying towards the dark mages and mindless beasts wandering inside the town.

Corrin found Prince Takumi wielding his Fujin Yumi, the magnificent bright weapon fired those arrows like gusts of wind. The way he moved and handled the beautiful weapon was a sight to behold; Corrin had never seen such a display of archery before—never really observed him in action from this close— and even if he was visibly tense and not all his arrows struck to the enemies, she was still impressed. Certainly, she was glad to not be at the pointy end of his arrows.

Takumi was too focused on shooting down all the enemies that he didn’t even look her way, probably didn’t even notice her presence.

That’s when Corrin saw a dark mage appear right behind him, a man of malicious aura that held a heavy tome and swung his wrist elegantly, moving his lips for a spell. Takumi still didn’t notice him, aiming his arrow to the opposite direction. Corrin’s heart rushed, her guards didn’t even notice that the prince was in danger too.

“Takumi, behind you!” her warning made him react right away, wide-eyed he turned back and caught the mage impromptu, who rushed to cast a spell when the young archer jumped back as he readied another arrow.

The magical blow engulfed him in an orange ember, but Takumi managed to somehow lessen the impact when he fired the arrow, missing its target. His sleeves were burnt black and his gloves were damaged too, but he was fine. The mage was fast however, as he quickly spun to cast a second spell and Takumi didnn’t seem to be reacting fast enough.

In that moment, Corrin moved. It was a very dumb move, in retrospective, having no weapons to fend herself and being physically exhausted… but she rushed towards the mage right before he could finish summoning another deadly ember; the mage realized her attempt just in time and was forced to move back and direct the blast of magic towards Corrin instead.

She didn’t run straight to the blossoming flame, but she jumped and slid on the ground—the pains of her recent injuries making her suffer halfway— and she managed to dodge the fire and swept a kick targeted to the mage’s feet. She knocked him down, and promptly grappled the mage before he could attempt to strike back. Corrin locked the mage’s arms from behind while holding them both in the ground, and then she looked up at Takumi, who was still baffled by this scene, mouth agape.

“Shoot!” Corrin yelled, knowing that she was too weak to hold the mage in place for too long.

At that moment, when Takumi pulled the magical string back on his yumi, Corrin was struck with uncertainty as she realized that she couldn’t read the expression in Takumi’s eyes. It wasn’t hesitation.

She recalled the last time they spoke, recalled the pain in his voice and the frustration of his face. She recalled how much regret he held into his heart because of her… That moment when Takumi pointed that arrow towards her, Corrin felt afraid.

There was something hot that hit her hard on her chest as screaming deafened her ears for an instant.

Corrin let go of the man, realizing that his muscles went limp. The mage died quickly, one of those light arrows had pierced his heart with acute precision, only to vanish a few seconds later, leaving a gaping blackened mark on his chest, as if it was burned with fire.

The Fujin Yumi was truly a scary weapon, she decided. The impact was so strong that she felt it on her chest too, as if she was punched. She was still heaving when she looked at Takumi as the light on his bow disappeared; he seemed distressed with his brow furrowed so much.

“What were you thinking, you fool? You could have gotten yourself killed!” and he didn’t yell this as if he was worried, there was genuine befuddlement in his tone.

“… You were in danger”, Corrin replied, feeling her throat dry. “More importantly, did he hurt you?”

He didn’t answer, he was paralyzed with the same riddled expression. It was a few moments later when the guards who used to escort her came rushing towards her, commenting on how she smelled like burnt hair. Corrin was aware that part of her brows and eyelashes were burnt by the fire magic.

Takumi simply held a skeptical look as she was helped back on her feet again, allowing the guards to check on her for anything suspicious. She was still tired and stressed, and on the top of that, she just helped to kill a man —a nohrian mage on the top of that—, so she wasn’t in the mood to protest.

“Brother!” Sakura came running towards Takumi, as she probably witnessed from afar what just went down. Sweet little Sakura, Corrin felt ashamed to look at her in the eye after the last time that they encountered each other;  when Sakura noticed her and her mouth trembled a little, having her attention divided. “… A-are you both alright?”

“I’m fine” said Takumi, whose stare didn’t leave Corrin at any moment.

Takumi was the only one with visible damage, suffered some minor burns at most, but Sakura still used her rod to heal him immediately. When Sakura was done, she turned around to take a look at the other, but Corrin bashfully shook her head, trying to make it clear that she wasn’t hurt at all. It was an awkward and silent exchange, and the young Hoshidan Princess bowed her head gently in understanding.

… It wasn’t going to be easy to speak to Sakura if the chance ever rose again.

Takumi, however, he was still shaken and remained silent for a few more moments until the guards pressed Corrin to move forward. Perhaps he had no more words to say either, which was fine by Corrin. It could wait.

But right after the guards walked past the Hoshidan Prince, his voice was heard and Corrin turned her face to his call.

“Tell me, why would you do that? Why would you save me, of all people?”

The question lingered in her mind for a little while, as she realized that she was herself uncertain of the answer, a real answer. She couldn’t quite think of one thing other than her propensity to sacrifice her own well-being for other people… but how much of that was actually true?

“… I’m your sister, am I not?” Corrin replied, looking back at those confused brown eyes, and then she was taken into the safety of the ship.

…

 

 

TAKUMI

They managed to win the battle at the port town, Takumi could say that most of it was thanks to the presence of both Hinoka and Ryoma boosting the troop’s morale, not to mention that they eliminated most of the enemies swiftly. Together, they were a force to be reckoned... all without the help of Takumi, naturally.

But the young prince didn’t brood over his own weaknesses as much as what went down with Corrin in the past few days. Never before he felt so conflicted towards one person, and he only had himself to blame. It was his own damn fault for deliberately letting an assassin get to her and then having such a weak stomach for the guilt that followed soon after; and now that Corrin saved his life, he felt even worse about himself.

After Hinoka’s ship left harbor with everyone, Takumi’s headache worsened, forcing him to sleep almost all day, making his siblings worry if he contracted a disease in Nestran territory, but Sakura confirmed that he was only having a migraine, and thus giving him painkillers in the meanwhile. They helped a little.

At the second day, Takumi wondered if he should try to make peace with Ryoma, for they didn’t directly speak to each other since the night when Corrin was almost murdered. Perhaps, he could reach a better understanding of her if he spoke to his brother…

The ship was grand and had all the necessary to accommodate a small army and had plenty of private quarters, one of them belonged to Ryoma. He went to knock at his door one time, followed by a small silence. Was he meditating? It was around that time of the day anyway.

“Ryoma? Brother, it’s me…” Out of force of habit, he pushed the door open, he’s been allowed to do that ever since he was a child, so he thought that Ryoma wouldn’t be upset for the intrusion.

But the room was empty. The interior wasn’t big, but certainly his belongings gave it a more regal feeling to it. Although… he wasn’t sure why did he expect Ryoma to keep his stuff perfectly tidy. There was even a shriveled blue blanket lying misplaced on his futon.

… No, that was too small to be a blanket. And the fabric and the color were… oddly familiar. Takumi had seen Corrin wear this cape the day they fought each other at Dia, so she must have been wearing the same when she surrendered herself too. But since they took away most of her belongings, Takumi thought that it was weird that they didn’t dispose of this cape yet.

Moreover, why was Ryoma of all people keeping Corrin’s cape?

It probably meant nothing, but it didn’t do anything to lessen the uneasiness building up in the back of Takumi’s head. Couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was wrong about Corrin’s ordeal, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on the problem. Then again, it was probably nothing.

He went off to search for Ryoma again on the ship, but encountered Sakura soon after, asking her if she’s seen their eldest brother.

“… He just finished talking to Corrin. But I think he’s gone back to meditating.” Takumi sighed, _Yes, of course_. But now he couldn’t leave Sakura hanging.

“Haven’t you gotten to talk to her?”

“Oh, no. I just, well, it’s not like I don’t want to, b-but, I don’t even know what to talk about with her.” Fair enough. So many things have happened in the past few months, and Sakura was still coping with so much loss —Mother, Azura’s abduction, nobody had told her yet that Azura supported Nohr now—, and words easily failed her. “It’s really hard for us, but I think it’s even harder for Corrin. She looks exhausted all the time.”

“… Yeah. She’s been looking like that for days.”

“And i-it’s not something physical, I think it’s more related to her spirit. I-I guess that’s why our Big Brother visits her so often, so her spirit d-doesn’t give-up.”

The young prince twisted his mouth a little upon hearing this statement.

Was Ryoma really helping?

“Sakura, don’t you think that something feels… _wrong_ about it?”

“Of course it feels wrong! This is our sister we’re talking about. I-I know that it can’t be helped, but no matter how you look at it, treating her like a prisoner feels terrible!”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that. What I’m talking about is—” He held his tongue before going any further; he realized that he was heading towards a dangerous notion. But above anything, Takumi didn’t have the right words to describe this feeling of wrongness. “… Never mind, it’s nothing.”

 _It’s probably nothing_ , he told himself once more.

His little sister looked pensive even at his lack of an answer.

“I just hope that one day she can be forgiven”, she said.

“We’ll have to wait and see.”

“Do you… forgive her?”

Takumi crossed his arms, again feeling uncertain of how to express his exact feelings. In his heart, he knew that he could never rid of the pain of betrayal, but Corrin herself was now more complicated. “… I don’t know.”

…

 

 

CORRIN

Again, she was set inside a small closed room, and the ship moved, so she assumed that the battle was won outside. She also assumed that there were no significant loses to the army, otherwise, Ryoma wouldn’t have come to visit her right away to check on her. He heard of her direct involvement in one fight, thus making her hear about his worries and his conflict between wanting her to be safe and fighting for his own people… but at least he said he was grateful that she saved Takumi.

That single action could have made the High Prince of Hoshido to trust her completely, but people were still anxious about Corrin losing control again and turning into a dragon, so Ryoma told her that they would keep on taking precautions. She could leave the room anytime so long as she asked for permission to her guardians first, and she was going to be followed everywhere while being in close watch.

But Corrin refused to leave her room.

In the first day after the ship set sail, she was visited by Ryoma again, asking her if she wished to go outside for a walk, but she kindly declined, realizing that she was finding his presence overwhelming, as if all the disgusting feelings of anger, self-loathing, unfulfillment and lust entwined together whenever he talked softly. Her indisposition to speak was made evident, and Ryoma had the kindness of leaving her alone shortly after.

The second day was relatively the same, except that Hinoka accompanied her brother shortly. Hinoka didn’t speak at all during that time, but listened to them exchange a few words about her well-being. Hinoka’s eyes were still full of sorrow while Ryoma kept on talking…

For how much longer did Ryoma intend to torture her like this?

Corrin realized that her problem was that in a sea of regrets and doubts, Ryoma was the only one who offered to her kind words and some sort of forgiveness. But Corrin wanted none of that. It was soon going to drive her completely mad if she accepted any more of this love.

Despite of all the budding doubts towards Nohr, she couldn’t help but to feel so horribly lonely… she would let the silent tears flow freely as she lied on bed for most of the day. She missed her family and friends, the laughter and pain they shared together, even if the trailed after a path of darkness. No doubt that they would have tried their best to retrieve her from the hoshidans… _right?_

The image of those cruel dark eyes of an evil king flashed back at her, and Corrin shuddered out of bed.

Her little room had a couple of small windows, too small to fit her head into them, but big enough to let her have a view to the sea. The clouds in the sky were orange and the waters were dark, one beautiful twilight.

It was probably her third day in this ship.

“I want to go out”, she asked at the guard stationed outside her door. She was content to find that it was Kagero who answered her call… and then she realized that Kagero was accompanied by her fellow ninja, Saizo. So much for any exchange of pleasantries today.

It didn’t really matter. She just needed to get out of that confined room before succumbing to desolation. She could get past the rude stares of the hoshidan soldiers she’s grown used to, she could simply ignore them and at least enjoy the feeling of the oceanic breeze on the ship’s upper deck.

The air felt cool on her wet cheeks, she couldn’t tell if it was her sweat or tears.

Of course, the possibility of encountering one of her hoshidan siblings crossed her mind, and while she couldn’t say that she was in the mood to speak with any of them, she’d at least try listening to what they had to say.

She had nowhere to run, didn’t want to run, might as well just welcome the old pain like a lover and let it flow.

Corrin realized that Takumi was passing near her, carrying a couple of bows in hand and a quiver full of arrows… she assumed that he’d try to avoid her, but since last time they met, she wasn’t so certain anymore.

Just as she thought, the young prince walked past her without directing a single glance at her and she had to hold a long sigh after this. But then the sound of his steps stopped, long enough to make her know that he was just standing behind her. When she turned around, she met his face staring downwards and then up. She was easily a couple of inches taller than him without any footwear.

He seemed to move his lips to speak, but words didn’t come out, followed by tense silence. Corrin didn’t know how to help, or if he’d want any help. Of course, she was closely followed by Kagero and Saizo, so any attempts for conversation would inevitably be uncomfortable for both sides.

“Takumi?” she spoke first and he nodded; he was strangely fidgety, as if he was still trying to figure out what he wanted to say. The couple of ninjas understood the importance of intimacy, and hid themselves promptly, more out of respect for the young prince rather than Corrin’s comfort.

He inhaled and closed his eyes for a moment. “I wanted to apologize for all the cruel things that I said to you.”

“You had the right to be angry—”

“Please let me finish”, his voice was a little too coarse, still tense, but Corrin could tell that he was being honest. “It’s not easy to come in terms with all of… _this_. You sided with Nohr and I’m not ready to forgive that, but I know that you’ve shown to be a kind and compassionate person. And because it wasn’t what I expected of you, it only made me hate you even more. Does… that make any sense?”

Corrin arched her brows. “I don’t know if it does, but I understand where you are getting at.”

“I learned to hate Nohr since I was very small. I learned it from Hinoka and Ryoma, they hated Nohr because they missed their sister and because we lost our Father, but since I could barely remember you, I only hated Nohr because I perceived the pain that they caused to the people close to me… and now Mother is dead because of Nohr. I never did anything for you.”

There was certain animosity in his tone, but she didn’t expect any less from him.

“It’s fine. I can’t blame you for feeling that way. Although… I wish I could recall anything from our childhood.”

“Trust me, there was nothing special about it.” Takumi sighed, leaning his hip against the ship’s wooden banister. It was still hard for him to look at her in the eye for longer than two seconds. “When you arrived to Hoshido for the first time, when I saw you with that nohrian attire, I immediately knew that you weren’t the sister we knew anymore. I… when I heard that you didn’t remember even our Mother—this broke her heart—, so I gave myself another reason to hate Nohr. And then you went back to them, right after she died.” He stopped and took another breath as he licked his lips. “But you saved me. You spared me and then saved me. I thought that I should feel humiliated but… maybe I should just accept that for now you’re just trying to be your best version.”

Not everything he said had to be right, but Corrin was glad to have listened to him open up this much to her already.

“I’m not sure about ‘best version’, but I suppose that it’s not a secret that I’m trying to make amends with my hoshidan family.” Corrin smiled, even if bitterness infected her words. “At this point I can’t deny that Nohr was responsible of atrocious crimes, and unfortunately I was blind to them for such a long time… I don’t want to excuse hurting you, but when I made my choice, I knew that if I needed to clean Nohr’s tarnished reputation I’d begin by showing forgiveness, because there are people out there who truly want the same. I did what I did for both kingdoms’ best interest, but I guess I’ll never know if I ever accomplished anything.”

Takumi wrinkled his nose a little. “Well, nohrians are still murdering us, but at least now we know that it’s not all nohrians.” _How snarky of him_ , but then again, Corrin couldn’t blame him. “… Do you regret your choice already?”

She sighed. “… I regret not being able to find a better choice. I can’t fight against Nohr, but the thought of fighting you or any other of my siblings…? I don’t think that I can do that all over again.” She heard a crack in her own voice, but her whole attention was on Takumi’s face, seeing how his eyes returned to hers. “If I could, I wish I could have gotten to know you a little bit better. You are my brother after all.”

The young man nodded, pacing back to his previous path. Corrin understood that the conversation was over, not to mention that she ended it again on a weird note. It wasn’t like she didn’t mean it, because it was probably the most natural answer to the situation…

This was what Ryoma wanted all along: make Corrin part of the family again. She bit down her lip at the thought.

Suddenly, Corrin heard the sound of dozen thin sticks fall on the wooden floor. Takumi had dropped several arrows and the bows too. He grunted and his hand held the side of his head while he clearly seemed to be in pain. The princess hurried to help him pick up the arrows, but he worked faster, aggressively picking most of the arrows that he dropped.

“What’s wrong? Does your head still hurt?” she asked.

“I-it doesn’t matter, it’ll pass.”

“You should see Sakura or any other healer before going to practice, otherwise you won’t be able to give your all; you’re one of the best archers that I’ve ever seen.”

And she truly meant that, recalling how he moved during battle. She noticed how he froze for one second, not looking at her while he placed the arrows back in the quiver. They were very close to each other like this, their heads almost bumping with each other.

“Flattery is cheap. But… Thank you.” Those last words came out almost as a whisper, Takumi quickly recovered and paced away quickly before she could get back up.

“Just take care of yourself, alright?”

She didn’t know if he even heard her, but she smiled a little, knowing that her words flustered him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm deliberately vague about the ship's details because I swear to god I can't ever find good references for medieval ships and I don't think in FE they ever used something that resembles your average medieval ship.


	7. Pathetic

TAKUMI

It’s been a cruise of five days, the winds favored the sails, so they’d make it to the coasts of Izumo soon enough. Takumi knew that the ship was a gift bestowed to Hinoka’s forces because the Archduke Izana, ruler of Izumo, was saved by her from nohrian infiltrates when they passed through their territory. They couldn’t land on Mokushu and risk themselves to a battle they weren’t prepared to lose, so their plan had been to sail their way to Izumo and recover there.

Takumi’s been quiet since that encounter with Corrin when he went to retrieve the practice bows for Sakura, and despite being able to behave civil with her, the sight of her reddened face after what seemed a whole day of crying made him feel even worse. Takumi hated the increasing discomfort he felt every time he watched Ryoma enter alone to her room. Takumi didn’t understand exactly what was bothering him about this in particular, perhaps he didn’t wish to understand, because whatever sort of agony Corrin had to go through, Takumi wished to believe that she deserved it.

He wished to feel anything except sympathy for her, and it wasn’t working.

“I did it!” Sakura’s excited yelp started him out of his thoughts, he was back at the ship’s deck and their target practice; his little sister still held the bow up proudly. “What’s wrong? You seem distracted.”

“What? No, I’m not?” Upon assessing her progress, he felt mildly proud to see how far she’s come because of his instruction. “I see you managed to hit the center. Twice. When did you get so good?”

“Maybe by observing you more closely, it’s easier for me to learn when I observe someone do it right.” That was her way to tell him that he was pretty bad at explaining, but he was glad to know at least she was still learning from him. “I-I mean, you always hit the target, ever since you took up the yumi, years ago.”

His sister’s words made him cringe in response to the memories. “That’s only when I use the regular yumi, but with Fujin Yumi, it’s ten times harder.” Sakura’s eyes lightened as if she just realized something.

“I remember. It’s been four years since you were chosen by Fujin Yumi.” However, she looked sad, worried even.

“What?”

“Ever since then, you’ve been so tense and somehow… I feel like I’ve seen you smile less.”

“I don’t think I ever smile, don’t be ridiculous.”

“T-that’s not true! You used to laugh a lot when we were children!”

He remembered smiling, but that was a very long time ago.

For some reason, he recalled that one time in which he was still a child, and he used to laugh a lot when playing in the gardens of Shirasagi’s castle; Hinoka was in a particularly bad day and got aggressive towards him for laughing so freely, said hurtful words to him as if it was bad that he could smile while their sister Corrin was still captive in Nohr. Of course, Hinoka later had to apologize for snapping at him, but that moment in particular struck him deeply for years, making Takumi feel guilty for not experiencing the same range of emotions that his siblings had for Corrin. It’s been always a nasty turmoil of resentment, jealousy and yearning, as Corrin has always been a beacon of hope and despair for the royal family… and he could never run away from that.

“Do you remember anything about Corrin before she was taken by Nohr?”

“T-that came out of the blue! But… no, I can’t say that I really do. I was still very small when she was taken away. What about you?”

“I only have faint memories… The aftermath of her kidnapping easily overshadows any recollections I had of her.”

“It's the same for me. But I can tell that her absence affected you more than it did to me.” Her words were not meant to be happy, but Sakura still giggled shyly, as she stretched the string of her bow. Takumi picked that up. “What is it?”, he asked.

“It’s just strange. All of sudden you brought up Corrin, and there’s a more tranquil look on your face when you say her name. M-maybe I’ll gather the courage to finally talk to her. I’m still the only one who hasn’t.”             

Takumi kept quiet, pensive about the last time he met Corrin. Maybe Sakura shouldn’t push her luck.

…

 

 

CORRIN

“As long as you’re in Izumo, you’re not going to have ropes to bind you, but keep in mind that my retainers will be watching you closely. We cannot explain to the Archduke that you’re both our hostage and our sister.”

“I understand.”

The kingdom of Izumo, also known as the Kingdom of the Gods, was even more beautiful than she read in her geography books, the air was so fresh and gentle, the fields were abundant in greenery and majestic trees, the sun shone so bright all the time. The tranquility it emitted everywhere could almost soothe her anxiety if she allowed it.

While she was glad to not be restrained anymore since she placed foot on Izumo’s coast, the feelings of exhaustion and loneliness had taken their toll on her, as she had barely felt hungry for days and she’d taken a preference to sleeping for most of the day, so the journey from Izumo’s harbor to the capital was a drag. In the past, Corrin wasn’t even the type of person to feel tired, but during most of ordeal she just wanted to fall asleep, however, she could put up with it just fine just as long as Ryoma spoke to her. He knew how to capture her attention.

Hinoka gave up on trying to talk to Corrin in private as her temper would get the most of her; Sakura attempted to start chatting to her before they reached Izumo’s coast but was cut embarrassingly short by her own shyness; meanwhile Takumi didn’t hold such a hostile look towards her since he opened up days ago. Corrin would call this a progress.

“You can take this opportunity to grow closer to our family, but you are free to take your time… something like this shouldn’t be forced.” He said, the look on his eyes stayed with her for a few more seconds, trying to reassure her once more, but that’s all he could do lately. _Easier said than done_ , she thought.

“Are you certain of this, milord?” his retainer Saizo asked, as he was always close to his prince.

“As certain as you’re both entirely capable of keeping her in-check.” Ryoma answered, directing a serious look to his servants.

“… As you wish, milord.”

Corrin wasn’t surprised by all of this. No matter how much Ryoma wanted to reintegrate her into Hoshido, nothing would change the fact that she turned her back on them at their darkest hour. She was still a prisoner, a traitor, and she bore the mark on her chest to prove it.

They marched for a while until they reached the beautiful capital of Izumo, a white walled city gently showered by both light and shadows, large green gardens full of life were such a consistent element of these lands, she wondered if it had anything to do with Izumo’s famed schools for proficient healers, its best-known quality for being a perpetually neutral country. Surely it was the most convenient place to heal wounds and tired spirits during a war and they were blessed to have the Archduke’s favor for the time being.

Corrin vaguely wondered if her heart could begin to heal in this place too.

…

 

 

The Archduke Izana, self-proclaimed descendant of the Gods, turned out to be a charming nobleman with an unlikely informal personality; he was openly grateful towards princess Hinoka and couldn’t stop talking everyone’s ears off about how she valiantly saved him from a nohrian mage who attempted to seize Izumo. Of course, even though the Archduke didn’t question the presence of Corrin among the hoshidans right away, he seemed to stare at her long enough to realize that she was very out of place. Whatever questions he’d have, she didn’t care, as she doubted she’d have anything of value to say.

There was a grand banquet in honor of their guests, Corrin didn’t touch her food and nobody paid too much attention to her anyway. At the end of the party, she was escorted to a cabin within the large and luxurious garden within the castle of Izana, and it was obvious that cabins like these were meant for nobles… of course, that was to be expected if they intended to convince Izana that Corrin was indeed not a hostage of any sort.

The inside of the cabin was quite spacious and clean, full of fresh air and had more commodities than anything she had in the past few weeks; there was even a private bathroom. The sudden change of surroundings was slowly overwhelming to her, and she felt her legs going weak over the tatami flooring, her head numb with dizziness.

“Lady Corrin?” Kagero was behind her, lighting the dim lamps of the room.

“I’m okay.” Corrin breathed, forcing herself to walk around the room, careful to not move to fast and seem aggressive.

“You missed your meal, didn’t you?” Kagero asked, she seemed to open up any drawers of furniture in search for something.

“I said that I’m okay, Kagero. I’m just exhausted by the travelling, that's all.”

When she turned to look back at the ninja, she was handed some new clothes, they were black with a gray etching of what seemed to be birds. They smelled like flowers and the fabric was very soft to the touch.

Kagero scowled a little upon closer examination at Corrin’s face. “You look like you’re about to faint; it doesn’t matter what you say, I’ll bring you something to eat.” Corrin figured that there was no arguing against that, the lady was just trying to do the job entrusted to her.

But right before Kagero could get going, Corrin found a sliding door for a closet, naturally to investigate the cabin further. Her soul nearly jumped out of her body when she found Saizo hiding in the closet, and surprisingly right after, Kagero forced him to leave the place and Corrin heard all their bantering outside of her cabin for the following minutes that took her to change herself into the yukata that was given to her. It took a while to figure out how to wear it. It was a little too small for her size, as it barely covered her knees and it felt tight over her shoulders and arms, but she didn’t care enough to even contemplate if she looked good in it.

She allowed them to talk as much as they needed if they weren’t going to pay attention to her. She knew how to block their voices away.

As if it became a natural response to stress, before Corrin realized it, she was standing right in the middle of the closet’s threshold, the door was between her bent knees and she pressed her lower body against the firm blunt end of the door, grinding her groin up and down in slow rhythm... The soft fabric of the yukata eased the friction against the hard wood, she sighed as her mind searched for relief.

 _Ah, they could discover me anytime_ , she thought grimly, _But who cares…?_

And suddenly she cringed as she heard Ryoma’s voice. “I’ll talk to her in private.” _I can’t believe this_. Groaning, she slipped to the floor and sat at the entrance of the closet until she saw Ryoma coming into her room. It’d look like she fell over, she realized.

The great prince of Hoshido walked softly towards her, knelt close to her with an apologetic look on his face. “How do you fare?” his voice was gentler tonight, he was probably aware that she skipped the dinner.

“I’ve been feeling sick since the start of the day.”

“You’ve been feeling sick since the start of the week. Has it been your stomach?”

“No… More like my head. I have been overthinking. I’d give you plenty of other excuses, but I don't even have the energy for that.”

“… I’m not too proud of my efforts to ease your mind. I took it upon myself to comfort you in any way I could.”

“You needn’t blame yourself for that. You cannot possibly control the things that haunt me in my silence.”

“Ah, I suppose not. I can’t control what will our sisters and brother say while I’m not around.”

“No, you can’t, but don’t act like they’re the problem here. For all that it’s worth, I am the real problem here.”

His eyes were looking down, acknowledging that this has been her attitude lately. “You can rest now, Corrin. Take at least these days to alleviate your worries. I know that it hasn’t been an easy journey for you.”

“Well, you made sure to make my imprisonment bearable within the reasonable.” But they knew full well that she decided to stay, to not fight back. Still, it was Ryoma who forced her to make this choice. Bitterly, Corrin smirked, tilting her head up a little. “It’s funny how my life has transitioned me from one prison to another. Maybe someone like me is not meant to live freely. In Nohr, I was their obedient prisoner, now with you I willingly take up the role again.”

The broken words coming out thoughtlessly were on their own acts of self-harm. Her hands were shaking and she couldn’t look at Ryoma now. The words she wanted to use would not come out yet, the desire to hurt him wasn’t strong enough to make everything come out.

“… For myself, I only know how to endure the pain, I don’t know how to fight it. Even if I want to own life, I don’t know what I want, so I let others decide for me. I’m so pathetic.”

She was shaking so much, it was like her body was about to fall apart.

Ryoma was at loss for words, his head turned away from her for a moment. How many times has she forced him to watch her cry? “Don’t look away, Ryoma! This is what you did to me!” her voice was raw, rage swelling slow within her chest, her fractal scarring pulsed under her clothes resenting the memory of pain.

“Is this how you’ve been feeling?” The high prince looked pale, the troubled expression in his face made him look years younger, like a kid who just realized that he did wrong; for some reason, this only frustrated Corrin even more. “I’m so sorry, it can’t be helped.”

“Of course it can’t be helped! What else were you expecting?!” she cried louder, her face was wet and overheated, even spit was trickling down her chin as her body bent down, her face on the floor. She couldn’t stop trembling. For a moment she thought that she’d lose control again, but then she remembered that last time it was Ryoma who had the dragonstone at hand…

Corrin broke down sobbing for a while, her whimpers echoed through the cabin. She hadn’t cried like this for years, probably since she was a child. It wasn’t so much like the time when her Mother died in her arms merely months ago, where she was consumed by grief; this time it was only the result of weeks of frustration, self-depreciation, her regrets and her doubts…

Suddenly, two firm hands touched her shoulders, the touch was most comforting. She couldn’t help but to hide her face with her hands in shame, but she let her body find support against his armored chest and his arms gently patted her back. Corrin sniveled, trying to wipe the excess of wetness off her nose with her sleeve.

“My face must look so stupid, I can’t stop crying…”

“Dry your tears, I don’t care how your face looks… I wish I could have found a better solution for this conflict, but hurt was always unavoidable...” His voice was sad, his fingers tensed on her back but she let herself sink in his embrace. “I’ve truly have done something terrible to you, haven’t I? And there’s no way that I can ever take it back. I thought that I could accept that I needed to hurt you… but I may not be better than the nohrians who kept you prisoner. Please, forgive me, my dear sister.”

A painful shiver ran down her spine. He was genuine about his regret, but she couldn’t bring herself to look up at his face and fully confirm it… the fact remained that he had been deliberate in the way he isolated her, treated her, manipulated her…

“… It’s a little too late to apologize, Ryoma.”

“I know.”

She was so close, she could easily overpower him, take the dragonstone from him, run back to Elise, Leo, Camilla, Xander… Azura. But she stilled against his chest, trying to hold on to him.

She couldn’t do it.

Corrin never chose to stay for him or her hoshidan siblings as much as she chose to give herself into atonement. Her heart was with Nohr, but her morals were screaming in the back of her head since moment she betrayed Hoshido. Trying to set Nohr on the right path was abominably naïve of her when she underestimated that King Garon had so much power… Her hoshidan siblings had been right to express sheer horror when Corrin decided to return to that wretched king’s side. Corrin wished to atone for that mistake.

And Ryoma clearly wanted more than that.

It was frustrating, to know that before her captivity, she truly had nothing to link herself with him other than the knowledge that she was his family. As a grown woman, she couldn’t be forced to swallow over a decade worth of emotional burdens for a family she couldn’t even remember even if her life depended on it. It was as hard for her as it was hard for him.

And what was worse, she didn’t grow to love him as the Sister he wanted.

Now, emotionally fickle and sinking yet deeper into a welter of despair and comfort, she leaned her head against the crook of his neck. His scent was reminiscent of rain, also sweat and pine.

It was cramped, she felt like his chin armor could poke her eye out if she moved wrong, it wasn’t a contact meant to last long, and despite his comfort, her bones were still shivering with anxiety.

His words blew gently against the small hairs from the back of her neck. “It’s been a lifetime since I last held you like this… or anyone, if I should be honest. It’s strangely nostalgic.”

Finally, she gathered the courage to look up to his face, the blinding of her tears dissolved and she could see him, his frown relaxed into an expression less than composed. She said nothing as her hands cupped his face framed in that red mask.

He said nothing either, but his silence meant something entirely different from hers. Her thumb caressed the plump of his lip curiously, and his eyes were slowly widening in realization that her face was closing in more.

“… Corrin…?”

She kissed his lower lip carefully, and his hands suddenly didn’t seem to find a place to be. She kept on pressing against his mouth for a few more seconds. Only stiffness. Nothing else yet.

He shifted a little, finally decided to put his hands on her shoulders as to push her away, but for a single second, she felt his mouth open a bit, sucking her upper lip lightly. It didn’t make the abrupt separation any less harrowing for her.

The real severity of what she’s done didn’t strike her until she saw the man who called her Sister stand up swiftly and walk away, his face unreadable with her dimly lighted room.

“I will leave you to your thoughts. Please, just have a good sleep.”

And the dread just kept growing slowly as the seconds passed after Ryoma left the cabin, her anguished heart beating faster and crippling nausea filling her stomach, feeling as if she’d die right there out of shame. _What have I done?_

He was her big Brother, and she just committed the ultimate betrayal towards his feelings. If the nohrians didn’t kill Ryoma's little Sister, she did it just now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the Takumi & Sakura's convos are pretty self-indulgent, because their relationship is so sweet and I relate a lot to them.
> 
> Anyways, it was time to make Corrin fuck up *o*


	8. Perverse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally free of finals, I can spend more time improving the quality(?) of my writing. :D

CORRIN

Surprisingly, she managed to get some sleep after what transgressed that night. It was still too soon to determine what actions would Ryoma take about this, if he’d reprimand her or force her into further solitude, or simply act as if it all never happened with the hope of dismissing it as the mistake it was.

Needless to say, Corrin felt mortified by the mere thought. She couldn’t tell what thing is what dreaded her the most: the fact that she fell in love with the man who was supposed to be her big brother or that she acted on it without thinking.

Incest was a criminal act in Nohr, in a few isolated cases, like sexual abuse of a minor by a family member, was punishable with death or banishment, depending on the social status of the perpetrators. She didn’t know full well what the hoshidan laws about the subject of incest were, and she didn’t want to find out. Jail wasn’t something that scared her right now, not as much as the rejection and the bad conscience that would add to her already long list of loads.

What would Ryoma think of her? What would he do? Would he withdraw his attention from her? That’d be a wise decision, given that war was hardly a good time to arise scandal about such an important figure like himself.

When Corrin woke up on the futon extended for her, she suddenly remembered that she was no longer constricted to a small room or cell. She couldn’t grow used to the amount of space that surrounded her.

The tray with food from the last night was still on the tatami, she noted. Last night before going to sleep, Kagero wouldn’t leave her alone until seeing her eat more than half of the rice bowl she was given. Of course, the ninja didn’t question the fact that her face was swollen red from crying so hard after Ryoma visited her, but she didn’t seem to be aware of what happened after their discussion… and it wasn’t Kagero’s right to ask. She never did.

Using her chance to drop into the bathroom, she washed herself thoroughly, enjoyed the small sense of privacy even if she was certain that Ryoma’s retainers were still posted around her cabin, if not hidden inside.

Someone entered her cabin, she could hear it through the door of her small bathhouse, and she quickly dried herself and put her clothes back again. “Please wait a minute!” The yukata she was given yesterday was not really clean, but there was no harm on using it again, even if it was still too small for her comfort.

Hinoka was the one expecting her at her room, and she started when Corrin came back. She wasn’t sure at first if Hinoka being here was a good or bad thing, but once she noticed how calmer was she compared to the days before, Corrin found it easier to not get anxious on her presence.

There was an awkward greeting, and it was obvious that their last conversation put them in a difficult spot to start again, but it wasn’t like they weren’t willing to try. Corrin owed her that much.

“… Would you like to join me in the training grounds?” the red-haired princess asked, she wore a less than confident look.

“Yes, of course.”

There was not much explaining to make after that. Hinoka walked her through Izana’s large courtyards to where the space opened up in a great training field as Corrin was followed from the distance by the watchful ninjas under Ryoma’s command. It was a beautiful day and plenty of soldiers from the hoshidan army had taken the invitation to use those grounds however they saw fit, all within Izumo’s restrictions regards violence, as all real weapons were strictly forbidden within the castle, but wooden weapons were fine.

Hinoka took her way back to the margins of an arena where several men and women were sparring between themselves—such as their training routine demanded—, the hoshidan princess invited her to sit under the shadow of a tree, where a mat had been prepared in anticipation along with what seemed to be a small assortment of dishes. Corrin sat shyly facing Hinoka, couldn’t help to feel charmed by the sweet aroma of the food, making her stomach growl helplessly.

“I’ve heard that you’ve been feeling ill, so… I brought these for you. I didn’t make any of it though, I’m afraid that good intentions are not enough to make proper food. It isn’t too much, is it?”

Hinoka was really trying. Corrin had to smile. “This is good. Thank you, Hinoka.”

“I’m sorry about before. I wanted to talk to you in a better situation, and I ended up tagging along with Ryoma instead of coming forward myself. I was so unnecessarily hostile to you.”

“It’s fine, really.”

For a few minutes, they found themselves a moment to relax, Corrin let it be in order to momentarily forget about her heartache, about Ryoma, about Nohr… she just wanted to help Hinoka heal, wanted to at least succeed to become a good listener if not her sister and friend. Hinoka needed this.

As their conversation extended, they ate together and then talked after they were done, Hinoka told her the story of her relationship with their Mother, about how she didn’t get along with Queen Mikoto at first for being King Sumeragi’s second wife, and how regrettably harsh she used to be towards her, especially after Corrin’s kidnapping. Eventually, Hinoka made her peace with Queen Mikoto and she proceeded to train to become a Pegasus rider, because Hinoka’s drive has always been to one day save Corrin from Nohr… It was a story worthy to be written down in books.

“I wish I could’ve learned to become strong for myself, not only for the sake of getting you back. But I don’t know what kind of person I’d be if it wasn’t for you.” The hoshidan princess wore a tired smile, her brown eyes looked back at Corrin, having noticed her troubled expression. “Is something wrong?”

“… Have I apologized yet?”

“Yes, you have, every time we met since that day.” But at the end of each time, Corrin ended up knocking Hinoka out of her Pegasus. “Of course… apologies are not always enough. But we’re working on that, aren’t we? Please stop worrying too much about that… I’m just really glad to finally spend time with you. I can reassure myself that I'm not dreaming anymore.”

Her ability to give comfort needed some work too, but Corrin was able to appreciate her kindness nonetheless. This somewhat rigid interaction with Hinoka was preferable tenfold than being left alone in the cabin with her thoughts. The last thing Corrin wanted was to be forced to think again about last night.

Someone approached them and Hinoka looked up first, Corrin was surprised to see that it was their young brother, standing there with a tense look in his eyes.

“Takumi, did you need something?”

“Yeah, I was told that Setsuna has gone missing and nobody’s seen her since yesterday, so… I came looking for you.”

“Gods… not again.” Hinoka didn’t seem alarmed but certainly annoyed when she paced quickly past her little brother, but not before bidding farewell to Corrin. “Sorry, I-I’ll see you later, Corrin. Enjoy the rest of the meal without me!”

 _That was abrupt_ , and then Corrin just remained sitting there while awkwardly looking back at Takumi, his arms crossed as he watched their older sister go to the where the stables were.

“… What was that about? Is she okay?”

“No, but that’s usually what happens with Hinoka’s retainer, Setsuna. She gets caught in a trap or something, and Hinoka is usually the only one who can find her when no one else can. Don’t ask me why that that is, it just is.” Takumi’s attention seemed to linger a little on those last words, but he promptly looked back at Corrin. It was still strange to interact with each other, as it took him a while to continue talking. “Also I, uh…”

But he stopped as he grimaced, leaving her in uncomfortable silence. Were her conversations with the hoshidan royals always meant to feel so gawky?

“What is it?”

“… No, it’s nothing important.”

“You can tell me.”

“It really is nothing.” Takumi couldn’t seem to stop struggling with words; strangely, he seemed more fidgety than they last time they spoke. Corrin noticed that his grip on his sleeves tightened while having his arms still crossed. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but if anything is happening… _or not_ , you should come and talk to me. I don’t know how helpful can I be, but… I’ll be there. That’s my offer. Good bye.”

She caught herself with her mouth agape. Contemplating the fact that Takumi cared this much warmed her heart a little. But when he forcefully turned away to walk off as fast as he could, she suddenly called his name again.

“Takumi, wait a moment!”

“ _What_?” he looked flustered.

“… Where should I find you in case that I want to talk to you?”

She got him there; he seemed to curse under his breath and he had to think a little more to give his answer. “I guess probably at the target practice, you can ask permission to go there or whatever. I don’t know how it's supposed to work for you.”

“I see… Well then, I’ll try to meet you there, thanks.”

He visibly shrugged off her gratitude, obviously embarrassed as he avoided eye-contact all the time, he walked away even faster. _Not as shy as Sakura, that’s for sure_ , Corrin thought as she almost smiled.

Something this nice couldn’t possibly last.

…

 

 

The following day, Corrin woke-up feeling heavier than usual. Despite having such a nice picnic with Hinoka yesterday and feeling in good terms with Takumi, she was reminded of her own sins as Ryoma didn’t visit see her all day. She didn’t dare to ask his retainers about his whereabouts, they’d never give her away anything about their lord's activities—war meetings, she presumed, but his time wasn’t entirely made up by that—.

That aside, Ryoma couldn’t be a fool. That wasn’t a nohrian show of affection… he probably caught up with that right away.  

And she thought that she’d be fine if he chose to avoid her in root of that, the pain of withdrawal was something she’d learn to deal with… but now she wasn’t certain anymore. The foreboding sense that her next meeting with Ryoma would change everything was keeping her on edge.

Less intimidated by this illusory freedom, she eventually decided to go out of her cabin again, certain that Kagero and Saizo would be doing their job as always, following her trail like shadows. She didn’t care, because no matter what suspicions they still had on her, she wouldn’t try to do anything foolish.

She thought about Takumi’s plan of meeting at the target practice. Obviously, she wasn’t planning on speaking to him about anything that’s happened, but she at least wanted to go to a place where her presence would be welcome.

Along her way, she investigated her surroundings a little, observed the magnitude of Izana’s castle and the superb space the courtyard actually occupied, plants seemed to be brimming with light, almost as if they were magic. Not only guards walked within the terrain, but also several scholars, nobles and even commoners; although the castle’s guards h a distinct attire to stand out, it was obvious that they didn’t intend to appear intimidating in the least.

Corrin sighed, yearning for this kind of peace and equality for her own kingdom—Nohr, even though it was arguably _not_ her kingdom—, and would probably never achieve this, much less now that she has given up her right to fight this war.

Strolling back and forth through the courtyard’s training area as it slowly filled with hoshidan soldiers, she soon realized that when she stood at the corner, she realized that on the other side an unmistakable bright red armored prince stood still, simultaneously realizing she was here too. Her stomach shrunk, feeling his stare nailed on her even from that far.

For a few minutes she attempted to ignore him, pretending to be interested in the small fight going on in the sparring area between two young samurais. But as soon as she pulled back her gaze back to where Ryoma was, her heart skipped a beat when she discovered that Kagero and Saizo were on his side, their master speaking to them with a serious look on his face while they slowly nodded in return.

And then all three moved at the same time, the ninjas disappeared from sight and Ryoma walked through the yard.

_Oh no… what is he doing?_

He made her know that he was following her around, across the distance his eyes were still pinned on her, dark and piercing, reminding her of a hawk. And if she looked around, his retainers were completely out of sight, as Ryoma probably commanded them to do. Her heart was throbbing against her chest and for some reason she felt incredibly sick upon noticing the grim look on his face.

What would she even tell him? What explanation could she offer? _Oh gods_ , what if he misinterpreted her actions? What if he thought that she had planned on this to happen?

Corrin walked her way around the garden, occasionally looking back to confirm that he moved at his own pace after her. Corrin finally ran into the archery practice range, where only a few archers have come to train. For Corrin’s bad fortune, Takumi wasn’t there; in a way she had hoped that encountering him would hinder Ryoma’s efforts of cornering her… None of the archers paid attention to her, but they all saluted the eldest prince when he passed through, and he was much obliged to return their greetings with his well-known cordiality, but he was fast about it.

The trees outside the range practice covered the white walls that circled Izumo’s castle, and this area was entirely isolated, out of sight. She accidentally guided Ryoma to the most secluded corner in the courtyard.

His gloved hand firmly grabbed her arm, when she abruptly turned around to sneak past him in hopes of fleeing from this encounter one last time, her heart was beating like a bird’s. As always, the chin armor made him look angrier and more forbidding than he actually was, but Corrin couldn’t help but to cower a little about the evident dread his expression harbored.

It was only her and him and the trees of this corner of the world.

“Stop trying to run away, Corrin. Now”, he murmured lowly, the princess didn’t realize she was holding her breath, trying to control the frantic heartbeats while being this close to him. His brow was furrowed deeply. “I direly need to speak to you about what occurred last time.”

She bit down her lower lip, couldn’t last looking at his dark eyes for too long. The shame was too much, and having his hand over her arm didn’t help her to calm down.

After what felt like hours of reflection, Corrin finally responded.

“I’m not going to excuse myself, Ryoma. I wish I could explain… but I just don’t know how. I allowed my emotions to overrule my judgement then.”

She would comprehend if he desired to cut her out after all… Corrin would understand and would accept it. Yet…

Ryoma shook his head, mortified. “… Don’t speak of your own lack of judgement, Corrin: I kissed you back. I… I kissed you.” The words left his mouth with palpable embarrassment; she had to look back at him to witness the mix of shame and anguish. His lips were trembling too. She was shocked to see it for the first time with her own eyes, his guard completely down.

… But what in the world did he just say?

It was in that instant when Corrin remembered, or more likely, her lips remembered the sensation. She thought it was her imagination, but now that he confirmed that it truly happened, a frightening realization suddenly struck her, painfully so.

This didn’t feel real. It was far too twisted to be real. How could this be?

“I was wondering if I dreamed that… I’m confused, Ryoma; I don’t know your feelings. So, tell me why, or w-what? Please, let me understand!”

“How can I even do that when I don’t understand them myself? I can’t… I can’t see from what moment exactly did these perverse feelings begin to blossom.”

“Perverse…?” She felt the jolts grasp her heart tightly when she read the real despair in her brother’s face, the shame they mirrored into each other. “Then, you’ve been feeling like this for a while? Is that what you’re saying?”

He shook his head in denial. “No, no… It just can’t be. I so badly wanted you to be part of this family, to fix this broken family… I couldn’t realize that I was threading down a dangerous path towards you. I’ve hurt you. I knew that I was doing something horrible to you, but I didn’t realize how far I was taking it. I—”

Corrin realized that her hands were trembling with both rage and shock, suddenly one of her palms found his mouth, gently placed it there to stop him from talking. And he allowed this gesture, as if he wished her to silence him too.

But her own words didn’t come out gently.

“… You thought that I didn’t notice what were you doing, Ryoma?” her own voice was thin and breathless; she felt the quivering of her heart against her scars as she reminded herself of all the things that her dear 'big brother' put her through. “You played your game and I followed your rules, I knew what you wanted from the beginning. But… it wasn’t your fault that I developed feelings for you. It wasn’t your fault”, she repeated, her voice shivered, “It… was all me. Truly, the only perverse one between us is me.”

The emotional conditioning, the traps, the manipulation… Ryoma had known what he wanted and what he was doing, but it didn’t work in the way he wanted to. She saw this. He didn’t know that her heart, in a slow inevitable twist of events, started to depend and yearn his warmth, as he made himself the only comfort of forgiveness and love amidst her cold penance. That, combined with the streams of lust that grew alongside her loneliness and stress, eventually led Corrin to develop those feelings. Unknowingly, she seduced her own brother and she was to blame.

She allowed this. She chose this. She needed to take responsibility for that.

“If you should punish me for what I did, then do what you must. I deserve it”, Corrin removed her hand from his mouth, somehow she felt the tension on his face lessen; there was a wet imprint where his mouth touched her palm.

His hand was still on her arm, and when she looked into his eyes, she felt a wild shiver run down her spine.

With the strength of a current, he roughly pushed her against the tree’s trunk behind her. Corrin was in shock for a few seconds, his red armor was pressing hard against her chest and it hurt, but her body welcomed the sensation of closeness as soon as his mouth went to seal hers. The horror and excitement melted together as she pressed her own face against his and breathed through her nose for what felt like hours, growing used to each other’s taste.

When he finally separated from her, she had to take a deep breath, look again at his face. “I cannot punish you for the same sin I committed. We’re equally guilty, Corrin, and for that, we will suffer through this together.” His whispers caressed the skin on her heated face, their noses grazed for being this close.

_Is this real?_

Overcome with this desire, Corrin hung her arms around Ryoma’s neck, and continued where he left off, kissing him to force herself forget the shame that both would carry.

He was not as awkward and reserved in his touching when she intensified her kissing; if he was ever afraid of fondling her legs, her waist and her breasts over her clothes, it didn’t show. She needn’t to guide his hand at all. For how long did he crave to touch her, so much that he knew exactly where he wanted to place his hands?

Ryoma didn’t kiss like a man who has never kissed before, that was for sure. But then again, neither did she.

The armor still bothered her greatly, as it covered Ryoma like a lobster’s shell, and since he was obviously grinding against her leg, the iron piece that covered his groin was heavy and it hurt her thigh. And she disliked his gloves too when he finally ventured to touch the skin of her neck and her face. In a rush of frustration, with both her hands she grabbed the chin armor and attempted to pull it off.

“I want to see you… I want to feel your face”, Corrin breathed, unintentionally came off as desperate. It was such a silly thing to fuss over, but Corrin always hated that mask armor, besides that it got in the way and it bruised her chin. Ryoma was much obliged to take off the straps that held the mask in place and discarded it to the ground, finally allowing her the chance to contemplate him without that significant piece of armor.

For brief seconds, she was in awe, looking at his face without those bright crimson borders. He wasn’t too young-looking, if it wasn’t for the flush after their make-out, she’d say that the mask took away too much color from him. That, and his long ruffled hair made him seem taller, as she realized that they really were about the same stature.

There was a raw beauty to the strained lust reflected in his expression and she sighed absent-mindedly while her thumb traced his lips. Her calloused fingers kept on touching his the smooth lines of his face, ran her fingers through his hair as she placed little kisses on his brow, his eye, his nose, until he decided to capture her lips again.

She realized her arms were trembling, her breathing was heavy. Even at the warmth and beauty of the moment, she couldn’t stop feeling utterly aghast when faced with the reveal of her ugly desires. And what’s worse, Ryoma reciprocated such desires…

He stopped kissing her, as soon as he noticed her tears damping his face as well. He didn’t look less concerned than she felt, and she wondered if he was just as troubled as she was.

“Corrin, I don’t want you to be taken away from me ever again”, he whispered. The man she was supposed to call her Brother touched her forehead with his, holding her head gently, which felt far more intimate than anything they’ve done in the past few minutes alone. She didn’t know what to do with her heart was full of terror and the comfort that he provided.

_Is anything of this real?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternatetively naming this chapter: "The most unnecessarily uncomfortable make out scene ever."  
> I also needed to make a lobster reference at least once.
> 
> And heads up, I'll update sooner this week, maybe friday or saturday, depending on the weather. Next chapter is going to be pretty intense, and I'll probably lose readers with it. Anyway, thanks a lot for reading this far!


	9. Scars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I try to update every 7-8 days unless I state otherwise, Please stop asking me about this**

CORRIN

It hasn’t been a whole day since their dangerous encounter at the Archduke’s garden, and her head was still spinning from the abstract emotions that sprung from that moment. The captive princess was emotionally exhausted during the following morning too, and it didn’t help when Kagero pressed her to eat breakfast; her demeanor was colder than usual, as if the ninja trying harder to not show any sort of emotion.

Corrin had the feeling that the ninjas wouldn’t say anything unless she asked, but was simultaneously afraid to uncover how much they knew; as retainers, their job was to obey and protect their master, which would include any sort of harm to his outer image and the impact it’d have on his army’s morale. Could he have ordered them to abstain from interfering in his private matters, or maybe made them control the situation?

“I was tasked to deliver this to you from my liege… No, wait, don’t open it in front of me, Lady Corrin. I'm not allowed to see its contents.”

Kagero handed her a small paper fold, Corrin was surprised that the ninja would move away when she opened the letter. Still, the princess couldn’t help but to feel both curious and anxious over the fact that Ryoma would send some kind of note to her, right after what they’ve done.

His letter was surprisingly wordy for the size of the paper sheet, she was in awe with the contrast between his written words and the way he spoke. In a way, she felt there was far more heart in his letter than any other conversation they ever had.

Still, in his letter he requested her to meet him at the cabin where he was staying, as he wrote that this was a matter he could only speak to her in person. This didn’t tranquilize her, but she also thought that it was only natural to want to talk.

Corrin didn’t make haste to the direction she was appointed, she simply went towards that place on the other side of Izana’s wide courtyards, the few cabins meant for royal guests were not really that apart from each other, but she still had to walk a lot to arrive. Hinoka and Sakura were staying together in one place; she heard Takumi used to share the cabin with Ryoma but ultimately decided to stay in a less luxurious house with his retainers, which only meant that Ryoma had the cabin all for himself…

The space surrounding the beautiful lodge was quiet, even the singing of the birds was silent and the movement of the wind on the plants’ leaves was far too gentle… it was like time flowed slower in this part of the garden.

 _How strange_ , she noted that both Kagero and Saizo haven’t followed her for a while now, and no guards were posted nearby his private cabin. She didn’t know how to take this. What was Ryoma thinking about?

When he welcomed her in, her heart was already beating out of her chest and she was a little slow to react when she saw this handsome man in a fairly simple and elegant gray and red kimono, his long wild hair loosely tied in a ponytail. He had to tell her twice to get into the cabin with a reassuring tone, him probably oblivious of the cause of her daze.

They sat in a wide room at a decent distance between each other, and once more, Corrin copied the manner in which he knelt. The white light filtered harmoniously through the screens and she felt the deliberate silence sinking between them, a properly peaceful interlude for whatever was to come.

She wanted to calm her troubled heart, but Ryoma straightened his back and finally spoke in a severe tone:

“I haven’t been entirely honest with you, Corrin. I owe you some answers for what I’ve put you through, but before anything, I wanted to recall the words you said to me when you almost became a dragon, before we parted to Izumo. Do you remember them?”

_Do you truly see your little sister Corrin when you look at me?_

“Yes.” It wasn’t a good memory, and she bit down her lip in shame for the reminder of the dreaded taboo they trespassed.

“You told me that my little sister is long gone… But there might be even more to it than what you think.”

“What do you mean?” She tilted her head upon seeing his brow furrowed in distress; she could read his expressions more easily without that chin armor. Whatever he had to say, it was obviously hard for him, and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to listen. She’d kindly tell him to hold off the talk if he wasn’t ready, but… “Ryoma…? What is it?”

The eldest hoshidan prince let out a long sigh.

“Forgive me, Father… I… He made me swear that we’d never tell you this, but I simply can’t keep it from you anymore. You know that you’re Queen Mikoto’s only child, do you not…?”

Her whole body tensed up and she started to shiver as the whole truth was unraveled little by little with each word. He had thought carefully of his way to explain it, that much was clear, but in her mind, it was all so hard to process, violently shattering once more everything that she thought she knew. All the words were making a hard knot on her stomach, her breathing wavering as sweat soaked her neck.

In short, the truth was that while she was indeed Queen Mikoto’s daughter, King Sumeragi, was never her biological father, therefore, Corrin wasn’t blood-related to Ryoma or any other of her hoshidan siblings. It was as simple as that.

Her fingers clenched over her lap, she discovered that her teeth were clattering in anger as Ryoma finished explaining. For a while, Corrin was unable to talk as the world around and inside her began shifting dramatically. She took a deep shaky breath and closed her eyes for one moment, trying as hard as she could to not rise and walk away.

“… Does anyone else know about this?”

“Only a few royal servants, my retainers included… but Sakura, Hinoka and Takumi don’t know about this. To them, you’re still my Father’s daughter from Queen Mikoto… He never wanted you to know about this, he never wanted you to feel like you were out of place or less loved than any other of us.”

Abruptly, Corrin pulled herself up and looked down on him while heaving; she couldn’t even tell what she was feeling exactly. It was such an immense surge of emotion that she wasn’t sure if it’d crush her or make her soar, it was simply too much.

“You should hate me for keeping this from you until now.” He muttered, voice tainted by pain. But this wouldn’t do. “Corrin, I’m sorry.” This wouldn’t do at all.

Propelled by this intense emotion, she jumped onto him, her raw strength unleashed upon Ryoma. She pinned him to the floor so fast, and his eyes were wide in shock. She was only using her left hand against his chest, but instead of a hand, a large black claw.

“That was cruel, Ryoma! Guilt-tripping me for betraying my family a-and here I was, f-feeling like scum for developing feelings for you… and it turns out that I’m not even linked to you by blood?!” she sobbed while seeping with rage, her teeth wouldn’t stop rattling. And her head felt heavy again… she realized through the shadow on the floor that the antlers of her dragon form had appeared too.

“I’m sorry.”

Blinded by this wrath, her whole body shook with a cry and she fisted her normal right hand, her knuckles finding their place on Ryoma’s face again and again.

It was as if she was no longer owner of her body, a puppet of rage, but there was also a thin conscious barrier inside her mind that was keeping the dragon from completely taking over…  

She roared in frustration, couldn’t stop her fist from striking him, overcoming him as she sat on his waist. Overwhelmed by this violence, Ryoma decided to finally halt her outburst and grabbed her wrist to keep her from punching him. She bellowed in protest, trying to yank her hand from him, but ended up surrendering to a primal instinct and biting down to his shoulder through his kimono, her jaw closed so hard on his shoulder that he yelped in pain.

Ryoma fought harder to pull her away, and in one quick motion he managed to pin her to the floor and lock her neck inside his arm while he put all his weight on her back. Corrin trashed wildly under his body but she could only cry in frustration.

“Calm yourself!” he pleaded, trying to not choke her in his hold.

“HOW COULD YOU?!” she screamed again, her body was in great pain. “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!”

He held her tighter, enough to immobilize her but not to cut her blood circulation; it was a wonder that his retainers haven’t come to his aid already, but nobody came. If Ryoma ordered them to remain out of this then he made an incredibly dangerous decision.

Such details didn’t matter to her though. It wouldn’t matter what kind of punishment awaited her, as her entire world crumbled by those words and by everything they implied.

She believed him. In her heart, she could make sense of Sumeragi not being her blood father, the fact that not only her name but her appearance were so distantly different from all her hoshidan siblings… it made sense.

But that was the problem. That was her torment. She spent all these months grieving and feeling like a monster for giving her back to her blood family, feeling guilty for having nothing but blood relation to them to empathize with their pain… Even if their past and their feelings were real, Ryoma always knew the truth.

Her muscles relaxed, she broke down sobbing while struggling with the damned helplessness.

“How could you do this to me?! Damn you, Ryoma! DAMN YOU!”

And it must’ve been killing him to not be able to talk about this. Family was family, and blood was not assertion of that, Corrin knew it better than anyone.

They both knew that blood was irrelevant at this point, but the result of each other’s feelings mortified him so that he forced himself to reveal the truth and maybe lessen the burden of such a heinous crime. It didn’t cleanse the nature of their sin, because to the world, Ryoma was still her brother, needed to remain that way if he didn’t want to carelessly destroy everything that he fought so hard to recover.

But where were his real feelings?

Corrin lay on the ground limp for a few minutes, breathing in and out as her eyes were on the room’s ceiling, her draconic mutations had disappeared and now her knuckles were throbbing in pain because of the force she used to hit him.

“I can’t hate you, even if I try…” she breathed. “I should hate you for everything. But I… love you, and I hate myself for that, I hate myself for not trying hard enough to undo this… Being locked up away from you would have been better than discovering these feelings. Why did you have to love me? Why?”

When she turned her head she saw him resting beside her, his kimono was all messed up because of their brawl, his legs exposed—and so were hers—, and she crawled back to him to see his face, and suddenly her heart dropped to the ground. Her trembling hands slowly found his bruised face, and he flinched a little, clearly in pain. Corrin whimpered softly, the sight of his broken nose and sprinkled blood were sinking painfully into her gut like a knife, but the worst part of it is that his eyes held not a single hint of resentment. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry… Oh gods, what have I done?” she whispered, she kissed softly the bloody crack on his nose, kept repeating herself as if she was praying. “I’m sorry.”

“… The damage is done.” Ryoma closed his eyes, leaning to her touch, even if he was hurt. His fingers grazed her hand shyly. “It is I who should apologize for making you suffer so much.”

 _Stop it._ “It’s a little too late to apologize, Ryoma”, Corrin sobbed and gritted her teeth in frustration.

“What else do you want? What do you need?” His calloused fingers reached for her, for the first time touched her face…  She could finally feel his skin and he could feel hers.

Corrin shut her eyes, as to fight back more tears. How could he be so patient to someone like her? He was driving her crazy.

Corrin then helped him up and silently walked him to the cabin’s lavatory so he could wash away the blood from his face. His body didn’t suffer any damage, at worst, his nose was broken, nothing that couldn't be mended easily by magic. She simply watched him tend to his bruises, his figure looked so slender because of the kimono and his waist-length messy hair, Ryoma looked more like a regular man than that fierce red prince; he stopped looking at himself in the room’s mirror and slowly turned his face back to her with a somber look…

He waited for her to answer his question, she knew. She had known what she wanted for a while, but her heart was still terrified of the release her words would bring. It was the release brought along with the despair of knowing the truth.

“I need you to stop being my brother”, she said. Ryoma stepped closer to her.

“And how do you intend that to happen? Even if not linked by blood, I am what I am.”

“But I don’t want this anymore! What was the point of jumping in to tell me the truth if you were going to take a step backwards?”

He tilted his head, hesitating for one moment. “You know that it’s not that simple.”

“Then let's try to change it from its root.”

“How?”

“… I can think of a few things.”

In that single instant, something happened between them, as Corrin's heart was beating against her chest so loudly that it was unbearable; at the same time Ryoma became fidgety, and he didn’t seem to know where to lay his eyes on her. She stepped closer still, close enough to hear him swallow when their gazes met.

Right there, their mouths joined gently, searched for mutual solace when all their barriers have fallen down.

She could feel the heat rising to her face as their bodies pressed together; when he pushed her against the wall she met with the firm shape of his chest and stomach, she tasted the remnants of blood in his mouth. She felt in his breathing that he was relaxed, and her fingers brushed his abundant mane to ease her tingly nerves. Her senses were saturated and she was so full of wanting, she couldn’t help but to bend her knees between one of his thighs to grind against it.

Of course, this made him break the kiss, looking at her worringly.

“Are you certain that this is what you want? You might regret this.”

“I might, but I’m not going to think about that now. I’m too tired of thinking and torturing myself. If you wish to stop this, just push me away. _Do it_. I’ll accept it either way.”

His eyelids closed and kissed her lips again, his hands on her neck reassuring. “I said it before, Corrin: I don’t ever want you to be taken away from me again. I cannot reject you now.”

The rough surface of his fingers brushed the naked skin on her neck and lower, the little hairs on her back standing on end while being this close… for the last time she reconsidered, but that melting warmth in her loins begged for this so bad that it disarmed any common sense left in her.

She loosened the obi of her dress just enough to let the collar slide down her shoulders, and found his hands helping her to remove her arms from the yukata’s sleeves along her underclothes, and with curious touch explored her breasts hanging loose. Her skin was standing on edge at the sensation of someone else’s hands touching her naked body, she shivered when his thumb brushed one hardened nipple.

But his fingers encountered something else as he stepped back a little to observe the branching lines that he touched.

“These scars…”

“Do they bother you?”

“I did this to you.”

She bit down her lip, the remorse in his voice indicated that he completely forgot that he struck her with Raijinto. The reddened marks reminded her of a tree; while they were painful, she learned to see a strange appeal in them, because scars could rarely ever be beautiful. She wasn’t thankful for them, not in the least, but if she was going to carry them for the rest of her life, she could at least begin to accept them.

“I don’t mind them anymore, really. I think they make me look attractive.”

“You have a curious manner of seeing the bright side.”

She took his wrists gently to guide them back to her, but immediately her eyes darted to the strange forms that marked the skin of his hands up to his forearms. Corrin held her breath upon admiring the pink branched patterns. How could she not see them before?

“Your hand has matching scars as well… An accident during training?”

“I was just a kid; after Father died, Raijinto would be passed down to me, naturally... But it is rare when a legendary weapon harms its master.” There was something very heavy in his voice when he said this, but he quickly shrugged it off. “It’s all in the past now.”

His hand went down and resumed touching her, fast to change the grim mood. He tentatively touched her thigh over and under the fabric of her dress, her hips jerked in anticipation as she slowly opened her thighs, not that she complained that he took his time teasing. Meanwhile her hands were sneaking inside his yukata to feel his chest, not at all surprised with the discovery of the firmness of his chest.

The exploration of his body was cut short however, as one of his hands began touching her groin over the cloth of the dress, and her whole body pulsed with pleasure, and he pressed and rubbed that intimate area for a slow minute while he filled her with kisses from her neck to her breasts, and she whimpered, finding it hard to hold back the strange noises that came out of her mouth.

Seemingly pleased with her reaction, he momentarily pecked her flustered face.

She watched him get on his knees in front of her, and with his eyes connected to hers, in search for approval. It really didn’t take her much thinking to nod; he lifted the yukata up to her hip and pulled out her undergarment, when he started to kiss inside her thigh and she nearly cried out as her whole body shook. She didn't fall on her back only because she was leaning against the wall.

One hand he used to probe and explore her innermost of places, the other to hold the yukata’s fabric in place. It was incredibly hard to not close her legs on him, her body was surprised by this gentle yet foreign contact, unlike anything she ever read about oral gratification. It exceeded her expectations.

Corrin felt like there was some sort of helplessness entailed by being on the receiving end of such great pleasure. He was devouring her and her nerves danced all over her body with the relentless stimuli, making her tremble and whimper.

Her back arched as she came, her hands took a hold of his long thick hair when all that pressure was released from her body, as if for one blissful moment all her troubles had vanished from her mind. Being brought into the peak of pleasure by someone else was entirely different than doing it herself.

Finally, her weight made her slip down from the wall, relieved to be able to sit. Ryoma sat in front of her with his face damp and with his eyes sultry with eagerness. She could really see the extent of his arousal through his clothes, and her body invited him still for the unfulfilled satisfaction.

The tatami floor was not uncomfortable in the least, but it’d have been helpful to have a futon to support their bodies in a moment like this. He made sure to be gentle at first as she laid on her back, even if her body had relaxed with their first endeavor. The intrusion was something she wasn’t accustomed to, and it wasn’t nearly as pleasant as she had in mind… she expected him to at least be a little more noisy, and she wondered if it was even necessary for him to hold back his voice even when he started to pick up the pace.

He pulled her knees up to the point they were nearly touching her breasts, she was flexible enough to be bent like this without trouble. The pressure started to build up again in her, but it didn't carry the promise of a second climax; his movements grew erratic, deeper, and he finally groaned a little louder, just in time to pull out from her and release.

By the time he was done, she collapsed with her body sore and overstimulated, drenched in sweat. Ryoma came back for her and cupped her face, as if to reassure her that he was still there. The purple bruises were still there, a faint sting of guilt snapped her out of that gentle oblivion.

“Are you alright?”

She nodded lightly, but she wasn’t even sure how to define it. Reality seemed like such a distant dream, and right now only she and Ryoma existed inside this cabin. Their sorrow and mutual disabuse were stepladders to this moment, and only time would tell what would come from this.

“Gods, we’re both going to hell for this…” he murmured.

“Then we truly deserve each other.”

And she smiled.

…

 

 

_RYOMA_

_The day his Father died, he got his hands burned when he took up the sword from its scabbard. The lightning barked at him and forcefully made him let go of the katana. A child consumed by rage and loss wasn’t a fit match against a King surrounded by soldiers, and the sacred sword knew that._

_Still, the young prince came to resent the sword, came to hate it for trying to keep him safe. It left vicious marks on his arms that would forever remind him of his own uselessness from that fateful day._

_His Father was gone, his little sister was gone, and gods know what would be of her now that she was prisoner in a land of liars and thieves. The idea of such a young innocent child trapped between those savages stirred his thoughts for weeks until he was back to the Hoshidan capital, where the news would arrive along him and his bandaged hands._

_His Father’s wife, Mikoto, received him with tears still warm on her face, and held him like he was her own child. Mikoto was a very beautiful and loving woman, she didn’t deserve to have her daughter stolen like that._

_“You did your best, Ryoma. You did everything you could.” Mikoto cried and kissed his bandaged wrists, such show of skinship would have embarrassed him any other day, but the prince was too tired. She was let known of the circumstances in which he hurt his hands, and even if they have been healed little after the incident, he was ashamed of the scars._

_“It wasn’t enough—”_

_“No, no… don’t say that. You’ve done all you could possibly do. And that is good enough. You are good enough.”_

_“I couldn’t possibly be strong for Father… but I could have at least been strong just for Corrin. I could have at least tried to save her. I’m sorry, Mother. I’m so sorry…”_

_“I promise we’ll get her back, my child. I promise, with all of my heart.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first time I write a m/f sex scene in years, and it was incredibly hard for me to get it right. I didn't want it to be excessively explicit or to drag out unnecessary details, mostly because I don't want to change it to Explicit rating. Also, I don't want you to expect scenes this long in the future; as I said, they're incredibly hard for me to write :U  
> Anyway, thanks a lot for reading this far.


	10. Fears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me longer to finish this chapter, this happens when I feel forced to rush things up. There's a long entry at the End Notes filled with headcanons for you to enjoy.

TAKUMI

He could sense Scarlet’s blank stare across the dark room, she was bleeding from all places, and Takumi couldn’t move his legs, as if tightly held together by chains. Scarlet would only stare at him, and he couldn’t ever know what she thought or wanted. Was her spirit just here to torment him?

But then he looked up, and he saw Corrin with her face leaning above his head, wearing again that strangely kind smile. He gasped horrified upon seeing her empty eye socket bleed profusely as a gray snake slithered out of it. His futon was flooded with snakes and he couldn’t move his legs, his arms, and it was hard to breathe.

And suddenly, he felt a stabbing bite sink inside his thigh, making his whole body jerk violently outside of the sheets.

The snakes were no more, but even after he woke, the feeling of that vermin ghosting up his legs didn’t disappear immediately, however, his yelp alerted Hinata, who was sleeping nearby.

Even if it took him minutes of avoiding and convincing, Takumi made his retainer agree that it was for the best if they both went back to sleep. However, the young prince met again with the same troubling thoughts that made his sleeping difficult in the first place, as the events of the day before haunted him still, and they were not related to the imagery of his nightmare in the least.

The whole idea behind his decision of sleeping in the same housing of his retainers was to stay away from his Ryoma, simultaneously allowing Oboro and Hinata to keep watch on his bad dreams. Takumi could never predict whenever they’d get worse, so at least he made the right choice for taking those precautions; he’d hate to have Ryoma worry about his nightmares, it was already too uncomfortable to talk to his brother even about the pettiest things.

Corrin was the cause of it, in one way or another.

But was it even right to blame Corrin for their mutual failure to communicate? Again, Takumi didn’t know how to explain this persistent sense of unease, for the last time that he saw Corrin, she walked right into Ryoma’s cabin and remained there until dusk.

There was nothing suspicious about Ryoma wanting to spend time with his sister, but Takumi couldn’t help feeling like there was something off about it, and he grew frustrated when his mind would  put these signs together and suddenly fall into a dangerous place. He didn't want to think of his own brother like that.

He encountered Ryoma that same night while he headed to see a healer, and Takumi noticed that half of his big brother’s face was purple, one side of his cheek was even swollen. Takumi’s heart skipped a beat and he was quick to question his brother about this beaten appearance; he’s never seen him injured like that, even after battle.

“How did you even break your nose?”

“I had an argument with Corrin and I unfortunately made her upset, so I took a beating.”

“Seriously?” The youngest prince grimaced. How bold of Ryoma to actually say it was her doing, but what in the world did he do to upset her so much that she’d leave his face like that? “I can’t believe she actually had the nerve to do that or that your retainers would let her get away with it.” But if they weren’t there to stop Corrin, then it could only mean that Ryoma requested them privacy. Takumi wondered if that was the case of every time Ryoma talked to his sister.

“Pay it no mind, I will get myself fixed in no time. But would you please keep this as a secret between us?” He sounded incredibly composed, almost unnaturally. This whole exchange felt unreal, he couldn’t even look at his brother in the eyes if he tried.

“… I don’t even want to know. Your issues with her are not mine”, he muttered, crossing his arms.

Ryoma just nodded and softly walk past his younger brother, but not before laying one last message: “And please, Takumi, don’t resent her in the future for this.”

“I don't have the energy to resent her for anything else anymore.”

That’s where their conversation ended, and Takumi headed to sleep right after.

Merely days ago, Takumi wouldn’t have had a problem with increasing the weight of his grudge towards Corrin, especially for something like this. But not now; not after he watched her risk her own life to save him, not when he desperately wanted to find a way to repay the favor so he could stop feeling guilty for the things he said and would inevitably say again to hurt her. The desire of wanting to see and make her suffer persisted within the depths of his heart like a pathetic candle light, growing smaller day after day at the same pace his remorse was nourished with his nightmares.

There was so much guilt that he was dragging on his feet lately, and they crawled back under his skin every night in the form of ghosts and snakes and blood.

The guilt grew more, much like the night in which he allowed that assassin to enter Corrin’s room, he decided to ignore this feeling of unease about Ryoma, even if his spirit was desperately itching him to interfere.

At the following morning Takumi felt his body heavy, as if he didn’t sleep at all, and the only logical course of action was to walk into the training grounds and release his tension there while he waited for Sakura to come for her archery lessons.

He so desperately wanted to ignore everything and get this over with; maybe then his headache would finally stop.

…

 

 

He couldn’t believe his eyes when she walked into the archery range practice, Sakura didn’t even arrive yet. It felt so surreal when he watched Corrin timidly approach him, he had to halt his focus on his bow and the arrow he already prepared.

“Ah, hello. Sorry, did I interrupt you?”

Hinata had gone to train with his sword, and Oboro had stopped by to check on her liege while she was on her way to do her own chores. So the surprise of Corrin’s visit caught both Oboro and Takumi off guard…

For one small instant he worried that Oboro would feel uncomfortable about being forced to interact with the former nohrian princess. Corrin’s presence alone was awkward enough for anyone who knew a bit about her, and Takumi, despite knowing that he did invite her to see him at the range practice, he mainly imposed the idea in order to give Sakura a chance to speak properly to Corrin… What was taking Sakura so long to arrive?

The archer prince lowered his arms and looked back at his older sister more intently, noticing her appearance was strange. Nothing physically noticeable, probably just in his mind, but he immediately detected something new and strange about the way her face looked and how she walked. He wasn’t sure if it was a good or a bad thing.

Probably had something to do with the beating she gave Ryoma yesterday.

“I just can’t get used to having you roam around freely. Why are you alone?” Takumi asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

“Don’t worry about that, Saizo and Kagero keep watch on me all the time… I think.”

“Oh, right.”

Of course, ninjas were meant to always remain hidden, that much was clear, but he couldn’t stop thinking about how it contradicted the events of yesterday. He tried to focus again on the yumi, but it was surprisingly hard when he had to think of her…

Takumi sighed and looked back at his sister, she tilted her head.

“Am I making you anxious?”

“I don’t get anxiety in the heat of battle, how am I going to get like that just because of you?”, he grumbled, noticing his own fingers getting fidgety. “You can just… sit right there while I train. Frankly, I can’t think of anything to talk about right now, so, I don’t care if you want to leave.”

“That’s fine with me. I just wanted to see you.” She walked calmly to the bench he pointed out for her, where he placed the equipment meant for Sakura, Oboro lunged there and guarded it defensively, startling Corrin.

Both girls ended up sitting together, and Takumi, even though he wasn’t looking at them anymore, he could easily feel the tension in the air. It didn’t stop him from shooting his next arrow, and the other four after that; he always managed to handle the regular yumi with frightening facility after he learned to wield the Fujin Yumi properly.

For a moment, he thought that he’d be able to proceed with his routine at least in silence, but upon firing his seventh arrow, he was surprised to hear them.

“It sure is fascinating to see him train, I don’t think I’d ever be able to handle the bow like that”, Corrin whispered.

“I know, right? Lord Takumi can’t be equaled when it comes to archery”, Oboro answered, her words floated with pride.

“I’ve seen him myself just a few times.”

“You sure are lucky to not be standing on the opposite side of his arrow anymore.”

Takumi groaned, lowering his bow again. “… I’m still practicing, you know? Keep quiet, both of you.”

Corrin, apologized.  At least Oboro tried to warm-up into conversation with her, so even if this wasn’t planned, Takumi felt relieved that a fight didn’t start yet.

“I guess it’d be hard to ask you to teach me a few pointers about archery? I never practiced it much.”

And he froze for a moment, he turned his head back. Her hands on her knees were clutching the fabric of her dress… Even if she still had that gentle expression on her face, he could easily read the tension on her body; he must’ve given the impression of being upset with her.

“You should know that we cannot give you anything that resembles a weapon…”

“My bad, I forgot."

“But I guess it’s fine if you sit there and watch me work. I’m not good at explaining either, so you’ll have to pay close attention to the way I move, do you understand?”

Her eyes brightened and she smiled when he said these words. “Yes, I do. Thank you.”

For a moment, he felt like his head was lighter now, all in a good sense. Takumi recalled bonding with his mother, Mikoto, as she taught him how to wield the yumi before he ever felt pressured to become better than anyone. It was a small something he experienced with her, and perhaps Mikoto meant to one day be able to teach her own daughter how to use the yumi… 

Even if archery was the best thing he knew how to do, Takumi wanted this to be somehow meaningful, he wanted to believe that he was doing something to give peace to the spirit of his late mother and soothe the regrets in his heart.

Somehow he really wanted this to work.

…

 

 

CORRIN

She loved looking at his bare hands, feeling the scarred skin of his knuckles and his palms, it comforted her when they also touched her own scars. And they both discovered that they had more than just those; over the years, the scars she accumulated were small and accidental, while his were deep and consistent, showing the contrast in each other’s lives as they were apart.

Time was precious to him, so he didn't waste when he finally had the chance to be alone with her, as they quickly found themselves hungry for each other.

She had to work a little into convincing him to let her explore his body too, as he had a strong sense of masculine pride that made him hesitate of letting her do as she pleased, let her touch anywhere she wanted, but when it came to the painful-looking bite mark on his shoulder, she avoided to touch it—he probably didn’t get it fixed because he couldn’t afford to show it to anyone, let alone, explain it—, so Corrin would lightly kiss it two or three times during this session.

It took even more time for her to find out his soft spots because Ryoma was ridiculously good at pretending to be unaroused until she teased him for long enough. However, when her turn ended, she didn’t bother concealing her physical response if he found some other titillating place on her body. On her own, she’d never have known that a lick on the back of her knee would make her shudder like that.

“You’ve done this before, haven’t you?” she asked.

“Are you talking about…? Ah, I see.”

“I don’t mean to pry, I mean, it must be too personal.”

His hands tensed on her thighs. “It isn’t a high prince’s proper behavior to act on desires, especially before ascending to power.”

“But you’re experienced. You wouldn’t know where to touch without me telling you if you didn’t know already—” One finger in the right place was enough to make her eyes roll to the back of her head; he kept on proving her suspicions. “B-but I'm not saying that you _need_ to tell me who or why… Ah… _There_.”

“… I’m not experienced, not in the way you think of me. I don’t want you to believe that I’m that kind of man.”

“I-I don’t… You never struck me like _that_ kind of man. Sorry if you misinterpreted my words.”

“… What about you?”

“Oh, about me? It's not that deep. I've simply read lots of romantic novels, and very… raunchy ones at that.”

He seemed to smirk, she didn’t even hesitate to say it. “That’s not the answer I was expecting.”

“Everyone must've read one at least once in their lives, or didn’t you?” she laughed, but she also realized that she didn’t tell the whole truth.

In reality, she didn’t think of this for a very long time, and for some reason, she felt compelled to say it aloud after holding her breath for a few seconds.

“… I almost did it once, another person, another time. Never got far… We were… too afraid, too young.”

“Even now, you look afraid.”

“Do I?… But I also trusted you, and you've treated me so well. The fear was just… a lingering weak feeling.”

The truth was that fear had been constant since she unlocked her heart for him. There was the fear of being found out, the fear of being unable to make each other happy, the fear of succumbing to their guilt, the fear of unwanted pregnancy… Of course, Ryoma had taken the best precautions for her sake, but he could not look for contraceptive medicine out of vigilance of suspicious eyes falling on him, nor he could ask anyone else to find it on request; they had no choice but to be careful every single time by trusting in his timed withdrawal. It should've been good enough.

Corrin laid her naked body against his, resting her head against the curve of his chest, hearing his unsteady heartbeat and breath; she didn’t need to do this since she was as tall as him, but she enjoyed the soft feeling of his bosom against her face. The jolts of anguish melted down momentarily when she could share this kind of intimacy with the man she wasn’t supposed to lie with, a depraved liberation from the horror of their chaotic lives.

She felt like she could embrace this small freedom while it lasted.

“I met with Takumi and Sakura yesterday. I think they’re both starting to open up a little more, particularly Takumi.”

“Ah, I’m glad to hear about that.”

“He's been giving me a few advices on how to use the yumi.”

“Wait, did they let you—?”

“Of course not! They only allowed me to observe. Sakura was taking lessons too; I was afraid that I’d make her feel nervous with my presence, but she did just fine.”

“I hear that she’s becoming good with the yumi. It’s strange. A year ago, she wouldn’t have thought of ever picking up a weapon…”

“Yet there she is. She showed off a little bit since I was there.”

“Takumi is usually the one doing that. It’s healthy that Sakura shows some pride on her achievements, because she was always reserved about her talents. She’s been successful in places that me and my other siblings would never dream of.” He sounded genuinely happy about her.

“I feel fortunate to be able to see them grow yet, even if we’ve been apart for a lifetime.”

“… It does truly feel like we’re a family again.”

Those words stung her in a still fresh wound, and a heavy silence swept over them for a few more minutes. She wanted tranquility, but this was also something they couldn’t run away from.

“… We will have to tell them the truth eventually, you know”, Corrin sighed. “I can’t stop feeling conflicted whenever I look at them in the eye and try to act like their sister. Despite everything, I’ll always be a sister to them.”

Ryoma picked himself up and began to put his clothes back on, giving his back to her.

“It falls on my shoulders to tell them. Our affair on the other hand… we first need to decide what shall be of us. We absolutely cannot let this be known.”

“I agree…” Biting down her lower lip, she tried to dress up as she let her thoughts loose upon him. “If there's an end to this conflict, you can’t simply shove me under the sheets as your lover, because I know that you don't want that; I’m still technically a prisoner of war, which would mean that I’ve been unable to consent to anything we’ve done so far. And our parents were married, which means that we’re still essentially brother and sister, this just adds incest to our felony… So, Ryoma, if we can’t stop ourselves, then we should at least stick to concealing the true nature of our love to the rest of the world.”

He finished first, she managed to see his calm expression even after all the things she said. He, more than anyone, would be already aware of the gravity of what they’ve done, even before she talked.

He reached out to her until his fingers brushed her cheek, and she leaned to the touch, as if her body alone searched for that warmth of comfort.

“Aren’t you scared? If I were to reveal the truth of you and Mother, even I could not control the damage it’d cause. This crusade was made in the name of the family; these beliefs could fall apart with only the power of my words.”

“Family is family, Ryoma, doesn’t matter if we’re not true siblings”, she said as she kissed his fingers gingerly. “Don’t get me wrong: I’m terrified… Even now, I wish I knew how to stop this, but we created the need for each other. I can’t think of spending the rest of my life without the chance of making love to you, because… in this life filled with deceptions, the love I feel for you it's one of the few genuine things I have in my possession. Is it selfish that I feel this way about you?”

He lowered his head lightly, retrieving his hand. His face was slightly redder. “It would feel as if I’m just trying to help you to cope.”

“Then what about you? Am I not helping you to cope too? Didn’t you accept this because you also want to some sort of escapism?”

Ryoma shook his head. “It’s not like that at all. There are things I cannot escape from. What we feel for each other, what we truly are… I won't escape from that.”

“So, what do you mean…?”

“… I want to face my fears head-on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should make a headcanon of the royals' ages, just to help putting some things into perspective. The game itself is pretty inconsistent about ages if you try to use Azura's supports as reference, because according with her support with Arthur she must've been Hoshido's hostage for at most 10 years, while according to her support with Elise, unless little Elise is a literal 10 year-old, Azura has been in Hoshido since Elise's birth, so I'm just gonna say that it's been definitely LONGER than that. 
> 
> So, here goes:  
> Azura: 23, Corrin: 20  
> Ryoma: 26, Hinoka: 21, Takumi: 17, Sakura: 16  
> Xander: 27, Camilla: 26, Leo: 18, Elise: 15
> 
> Since I'm using Elise's supposed age as a point of reference, Azura has been in Hoshido for as long as Elise has been alive and Corrin has been in Nohr probably a little longer than that. Azura is older because she seems to have very clear memories of her past, so I assume that she had to be around 8 years old when she was kidnapped by Hoshido, while Corrin, who had to be 5 years old, was easy to manipulate into forgetting that she was ever a hoshidan princess. 
> 
> I'm going to also take into account that Queen Ikona (Sumeragi's first wife and mother of all the other children), was still alive when Sumeragi met Mikoto, and during that time (months, years maybe) they were close acquaintances. Mikoto was a refugee taken in by the King of Hoshido and baby Corrin was allowed to play and befriend her future step-family before Queen Ikona's passing (which I headcanoned that it happened during Sakura's birth), so, after Sumeragi married Mikoto and adopted Corrin as his child, they were officially a true family for like 1-2 years at most, before Sumeragi was killed and Corrin kidnapped. 
> 
> I hope I didn't bore you with this unusually long Author's Note.


	11. Drowning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little longer than usual, and it's pretty heavy too.

CORRIN

The last days they spent in Izumo had been quiet and peaceful, and it wasn’t like she was complaining, but Corrin was still unsure of the reasons why Ryoma decided to stay for such an extended period of time. She could only do so much to piece her guesses together.

For two days Ryoma and Hinoka were absent from the Izumo castle, along with a significant but not alarming number of soldiers. Could it be that Izumo was in need for hoshidan forces for something that went beyond their capacity? Maybe Ryoma was bargaining to have Izumo’s favor in this war? After all, they went through the trouble of avoiding Mokushu’s territory, which was likely supporting Nohr during this war. Corrin couldn’t say if her guesses were correct, and gathering all her observations and the casual eavesdropping, she still had no glint of how was the current progress with the war...

And she couldn’t ask. Her initial attempts to make Ryoma tell her anything had been futile, and now she was afraid that pressing him on the matter would only turn him away from her. There was definitely something wrong with her if she had to feel divided between getting any information about her nohrian family and getting laid.

The night Ryoma returned to Izumo, he visited her cabin very late at night. He was very tired and she just allowed him to rest on her arm as she inhaled deeply his scent, casually touching herself as she tried to masturbate him. But he didn’t respond, he was too tired, so he lazily kissed her face until he fell asleep, leaving her libido in suspension.

At the following dawn, he vanished from her room before she woke up. The place next to her on the futon was still warm when she touched it. The ache of wanting still lingered over her and she couldn’t help but to feel incredibly frustrated.

The rest of the day transitioned quietly, she visited Takumi and Sakura again and was able to speak to the youngest princess more freely, and Takumi, while he didn’t contribute much to the conversation, he seemed to be more at ease with her presence.

They mentioned that the reason why Ryoma decided to accompany Hinoka to their latest reconnaissance mission was to rid of a bandit problem around Izumo, but they also pointed out that it wasn’t necessary for Ryoma to put himself in command of such missions, because Hinoka’s lead was deemed sufficient. With that, Corrin assumed that Ryoma tried to look good in face of the Archduke Izana to gain a better favor from him. Was this what he was after? And he returned exhausted too…

Corrin couldn’t help but to worry about his well-being. Their encounters were mostly unaffected by his outside activities and vice versa, but he’d sometimes make love to her as if his body was possessed by desperation, as if he momentarily turned into a completely different man, both rough and fragile to her touch.

At dusk, Corrin waited absentmindedly over the entrance of her cabin, sighing in contemplation towards the gardens. Should she at least try to talk to him tonight about his health… that is, if he would listen.

When she walked around the cabin, she found Kagero sitting on one branch of the closest tree, her whole attention focused on the sketchbook and the swift movements of her hand with what seemed to be a piece of chalk. This was a rare sight, but it wasn’t long until Kagero’s sharp eye detected her stare.

Corrin waved at her awkwardly; surprisingly, the ninja waved back. Her guardian leaped from the branch a few seconds later, and walked close to the princess while holding a strange expression in her somber face. In a weird way, Corrin missed to be this close to Kagero again, since lately she and her partner have opted for watching Corrin from a greater distance, inevitably cutting most of their casual exchanges.

But today something felt different.

“Did I interrupt you?”

“I was finishing, anyway, I wanted to talk to you.”

“Really?”

“You asked me once about wanting to see my sketchbook… I thought that I’d at least show you my most recent piece, because I want your point of view”, Kagero said, her voice was just as dry as the red chalk dust on her fingers, and then she carefully displayed her artwork for the princess to see.

Corrin arched her eyebrows. Her style was unique alright, and so detailed too. It was hard to describe with words, a vortex of red and black chalk, traces far more complicated figures than what meets the eye.

“Oh, Kagero, I… uh… I’m not sure if I’m qualified to criticize your art”, Corrin whispered, nervous about hurting the artist’s feelings. It was giving her chills. “But upon a closer look, I feel like it conveys very strong emotions. It's like the lines are begging for my eyes to be drawn to this black figure at the center of your piece.”

“… From all the time I’m spending watching you, I knew I’d eventually end up drawing you.”

She bit down her lip. There was no hostility in Kagero's manners, but she wasn't trying to make Corrin feel at ease. “I see. And there’s so much red everywhere. Am I supposed to be the figure that is being engulfed by all this red?”

“Yes.”

“It feels as if it’s meant to make me seem in peril. Do you feel like I am in peril?”

“You are. You’ve always been; the flames of hatred and the blood of friends and enemies alike, in a war like this, it should’ve drowned you long ago.” Her words Corrin’s blood freeze, and the ninja’s face was unreadable as she carefully withdrew her sketchbook into her bag. “Yet, you still found somewhere else to drown yourself.”

Her tone held a dire warning, Corrin realized.

“Kagero…”

“I beg of you to not confuse this with fondness or pity, milady, and I’m actually breaking a vow of discretion by talking to you about this... but for the sake of both you and my master: You need to stop. You are both playing a very dangerous game.”

She kept quiet after Kagero’s words, Corrin like in vertigo for a few seconds as she tried to absorb the moment. It was obvious that Kagero would know of this given the nature of her job, but the severity of Corrin’s sin was probably too profound to ignore, even for Kagero.

“… I’m sorry.”

The apology could have been for Kagero, for being forced to keep such a dreadful secret, for making her break her vow, or for putting Ryoma in peril with their continuous affair, but the real reason why Corrin said this apology was because she wasn’t ready to stop it anytime soon.

…

 

 

He said that he prepared something special for the night, and the walked together while her heart was sore with anticipation and guilt from her past confrontation with Kagero.

She was surprised when he took her to a different route from his cabin, walking into a different spot of Izana’s castle and in a private opening to a room facing the garden, she saw Hinoka, Sakura and Takumi waiting for them.

Nobody told her about this, and for a solid minute, she didn’t know how to react.

All sat together for the first time around the same table, all her dear hoshidan siblings eating together with her for the first time in a lifetime; it was only this small dinner room at the corner of the castle’s courtyard and them enjoying themselves. Seemingly, plenty of food was prepared for the occasion and no servants were within sight, so this was meant to be a very private occasion.

It took a few more minutes before they completely warmed up and started talking, Hinoka taking lead during most of the conversation, taking up subjects like her troublesome retainers, her training or how good the food was. Corrin was a little overwhelmed by having all the hoshidan royals speaking at once, trying to make her feel like she belonged. Was this Ryoma’s plan all along? Was he going to use this moment to talk about the truth?

He did seem to be trying to look relaxed, but he probably wasn’t, as he constantly eyed back at Corrin and seemed to be at loss for words. If he planned to use this opportunity to tell his siblings the truth, he seemed to be changing his mind.

Or maybe he genuinely wanted her to spend some quality time with his family? At this point, she wasn’t certain of what he wanted.

_Well, since I’m already here, I might as well just try to enjoy the dinner._

When most of their plates have been emptied, the eldest brother picked himself up and bowed his head to the rest of his siblings.

“I’m afraid that I’ll be the first one to leave, it was a pleasure to share this dinner with everyone. Make sure to go early to sleep, alright? Goodnight, everyone.”

And he took his leave. It wasn’t terribly sudden, but Corrin knew that he didn’t need to leave so early. Even after he was gone, she tried to immerse herself back in the conversation with her sisters. Corrin was genuinely trying to have a good time, and it was almost working perfectly.

Hinoka was the second to leave, but not before affectionately touching Corrin’s shoulder, telling her how thankful she was for the time they spent together. For a while longer, Corrin sat next to Sakura and Takumi as she heard them speak about their progress with Sakura’s archery lessons or about some recent banter between her retainers. Corrin would speak only to make a casual remark on their sibling shenanigans.

They both seemed to talk to each other with more liberty than they did when Hinoka and Ryoma were around, possibly because they were both the younger siblings… And they seemed comfortable enough with her presence to act so relaxed.

The pleasantness of this situation stung her gradually, until she found the meaning of this breakthrough: This was what she’s been missing out. This is what could have been hers from the start, if she chose to fight for Hoshido… _No, even before that_ , if only she was never kidnapped by King Garon in the first place.

But just before her thoughts would indulge in that idea, Corrin stopped herself. In her heart, Elise, Leo, Camilla and Xander were irreplaceable, they were still the family she loved all her life;  what kind of pain would have wrecked them if she ever chose to fight for Hoshido?

“Sister, a-are you alright? D-did I say something wrong?” Sakura sounded worried, and Corrin realized that her fist was tightly clenched on the fold of her dress. She relaxed her hold immediately.

“Oh no, I was just deep in thought, Sakura…”

Takumi tilted his head, wearing a keen look in his eyes. “… You’re thinking about _them_ , aren’t you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I mean your _other_ family.”

She shifted uncomfortably on her knees. “Takumi, I’m sorry, but that’s something—”

“Look, I’m not attacking you, I’m just asking.” He hurriedly tried to correct his manners, in order to not appear aggressive. “You have homesickness written all over your face, and as much as it’s not really my business, I cannot help but to think about it. I want to understand. I mean… didn’t you grow up around those people? Didn’t they take care of you?”

She had no reason to lie. “Yes… and I miss them terribly. It can’t be helped, can it?”

“No, of course not. You haven’t heard of them for a long time”, he shook his shoulders, looking at her directly. “I haven’t heard anything of them for a while, so, what they’re currently doing, I know about as much as you do.”

Maybe this was his way of saying ‘I’d probably tell you if I knew’? Corrin doubted he was being completely honest, but this was as flexible he could get about the subject. 

It was uncomfortable to talk about the war in such a calm moment like this. Their views would inevitably collide on such matters, and just brushing the surface was already putting an edge on the air.

Sakura raised her voice a little, her timid presence contrasted with her brother’s. “Um, I’m sorry to intrude like this, but I wanted to ask you about Azura. How is she? I-I mean, I know that she has returned to Nohr, her home, b-but… I wish to know if she’s fine.”

Takumi placed his hand on his sister’s shoulder, obviously worried about something. “Sakura… When did you—?”

“It’s fine. I-I’ve known for a while.” The little princess nodded, she seemed to contain her sadness very well. “It would have been tough for Azura to reside in Hoshido after what happened with Mother. At least… I’ve been hoping to know that at least she’d be safer in Nohr during the war.”

“That’s… not necessarily true. Don’t you remember the stories she told us about the years she spent in Nohr?”

“She’s safe. I’m sure that she’s safe.” Corrin replied finally, even if her throat felt dry upon remembering Azura, her fellow princess and friend. Did she even deserve to be called her ‘friend’ after abandoning her like that though? Corrin frowned and looked straight into the eyes of the siblings and tried to come clean. “This might not come off as a surprise, but she didn’t embrace the idea of being back in Nohr right away, as she didn’t shy away from telling me the truth of the treatment she endured at the Nohrian Court back then. For that, I wish I could tell you what was she thinking when she accepted to join our army after we rescued her from those rogues, although… it was clear that this decision burdened her as much as it did to me. From the little time that we spent together, she made it evident to me that she missed you all so much.”

Takumi’s jaw clenched lightly, Sakura’s shoulders seemed to stiffen a little. “Then why did she decide to fight against Hoshido? Why didn’t she return to us when she had the chance?”

She remembered the last time she saw Azura, back into that fateful day. She remembered vaguely the words that Azura exchanged with an enraged Ryoma. The fortitude of her resolve and the undecipherable mystery enhanced to her choice. Corrin realized that she never thought much about what went down between those two, never realized how much she didn’t know of Azura yet.

“… Because there was something else that she needed to do. There was something in Nohr that only she could do, with or without me, and that’s why she chose to stay”, Corrin said, feeling the warmth abandoning her face.

“Do you know what it was?”

“I have no idea.” Perhaps Azura only intended to follow her if she fulfilled a certain role? Along with the prophecy that originally brought her and the Yato blade together, combined with the words that the Rainbow Sage said to her before her imprisonment… Corrin escaped from her fate and with that, Azura had no choice but to continue where she left off. Or did she have an agenda of her own? The thought troubled Corrin, but not as much as the remainder that she was the one who abandoned Azura at such a crucial time.

“Then… we truly know nothing of her”, Takumi concluded, visibly annoyed.

“I just… wish I could talk to her again”, Sakura sighed, wearing a restless look. “I want to see her again.”

…

 

 

After she was done stretching her increasingly grim conversation with Sakura and Takumi, she took her leave and walked alone beneath the dim lamps of the castle’s garden, too strangled in regretful thoughts to even notice anyone at the distance.

The whisper of the nightly winds and the cicadas’ cries muffled the sound of her steps, but she suddenly heard the breath of someone nearby.

Ryoma was standing alone under the starry sky, it was probably his sigh what she heard. It was obvious that his face was looking up into the depths of the night, the moon’s crescent smile didn’t shine as brightly, and some clouds would get in the way, but it was a calming sight nonetheless… Ryoma was almost completely absorbed by its beauty, until Corrin approached him and he looked back at her briefly.

“Stargazing? I didn’t know you had it in you”, she noted calmly.

“I don’t. Not usually anyways. It’s become a new habit as of late.”

“Why is that?”

“… I had a very good friend who told me once that the people who pass away are believed to become a star at the night’s skies. Of course, it’s just their local belief, but I found it extremely fascinating.”

“I think it’s a beautiful belief”, Corrin replied.

“It is indeed …”

He had that tense melancholic look again; Ryoma was deep in thought, still looking up to the stars almost longingly.

“I wonder if she’s looking down at me right now…”, he muttered, she almost had to read his lips because his voice was too low.

“… Ryoma?”

“Don’t mind me. You should go back to your cabin, I’ll be here for a few more minutes before I busy myself.”

She hesitated to leave him alone, could only imagine what was making Ryoma behave like this, but Corrin had her own share of thoughts to keep her up at night, and it could be that her own distress mirrored Ryoma’s.

…

 

 

It didn’t come up as a surprise when he entered her lodge later that night, but it was very late already. He didn’t look as tired as last time, but the sense of affliction didn’t leave him after all.

“I thought that you’d be busy.”

“I won’t be here for too long, if my presence bothers you.”

“Not at all.” Corrin walked up to him, her yukata was almost undone and was already slipping from her shoulders. Her hands reached to his face but resented the harsh feeling of the chin armor he still wore. “Remove your mask for me, won’t you?”

And he did, but his eyes seemed lost from hers, even if she kissed his chin gently after being freed of the armor. It was as if sorrow had completely sunk into his spirit, and he was deeply wounded by it.

“There’s something troubling you” she said, a very modest way of putting it.

“Is it so obvious without my mask?” he grimaced, touching her hands now without his gloves.

“If anything, makes it easier to read you… but your problems don't get smaller behind a mask: I’ve seen that expression before, Ryoma.”

The prince sighed. “I never wanted my problems to seep through that mask, I want to bear my loads alone. As the future king of Hoshido, it’s to be expected that I exhibit nothing but my best in front of my people.”

“… You are afraid of showing weakness.”

“And weakness I’ve become.” His voice was coarse; she’s never seen him this vulnerable. Anger, anxiety, self-hatred entwined with his words, his fingers tensed over her hands. “In the past few months I’ve been straying off from that noble path; I look at myself in the mirror and I can’t stop feeling disgusted with the man I’ve become. Sometimes I don’t know if I can live with all the reckless things that I’ve done to myself... and to you.”

“Don’t say that. Please.”

Tears threatened to escape from her eyes. But what could she do to prove him wrong? What say to ease his mind of this potent grief? Her heartbeats became erratic and she suddenly clung her arms around him, held him so tightly that she’d easily squeeze the life out of him. Despite this, her hands were shivering on his back.

“It's true that this war has twisted us into terrible people, and we’ve done so many things we regret. But always remember that I’m not different from you, that I know exactly what you're going through…“Don’t say that. Please.” This is why we’re both here, in helpless need of each other… Can’t we at least take comfort on our own helplessness? Can’t we lick each other’s wounds to live another day?”

“I feel… pathetic. You certainly deserve a man who could survive with or without the comfort of your warmth.”

“Hush now, don't speak such nonsense.”

Comfort was the only thing she could offer, because she was the cause of his misery, and he was the cause of hers. This wasn’t supposed to be healthy or stable, but it was all they had to offer, and for all its worth, they could at least feel the weight of the world vanish momentarily when they melted into each other.

Corrin quickly tried to take off the rest of his armor as they pressed into the center of her room in silence, and he suddenly pushed her down to her futon while unfastening his hakama.

They tried to do something different, a small idea they explored and discussed in past times, and while it was clear that he knew what he was doing and took his time, Corrin was aware that they rushed into it due their anxiety; although she was prepared thoroughly and with care, her body didn’t give away completely to the first slow thrust from behind in spite of her mind craving for that forceful sensation.

She laid on her stomach and groaned, pained by her body’s reluctance to yield to this intrusion.

“Should I stop?” he whispered, his hand traveled down her damp back.

“No… No, I want you to keep going.”

She swallowed and allowed him to sink completely into her aching body as she forcefully repressed any stressful thoughts within their tides of pain and pleasure.

_Breathe. Breathe. Just breathe._

He started to pick of the pace. Barely holding back her voice, she kept on taking deep breaths as her face and chest became feverishly hot. Ryoma had never been so rough and she almost felt fragile underneath his weight. Corrin had her heart drumming in her throat; it was like her body was being ravaged by a storm in the shape of a man, every movement came with the promise of returning even stronger than before; he could break her right there and she wouldn't really care.

But all of sudden he stopped before she could reach the end of it. He simply pulled back and froze in place, much to her extreme discomfort.

Since she’s been standing on fours, not once she turned back to see the troubled expression invading his face, his turbid eyes were staring at her but somehow he didn’t really seem to be in his mind. His shoulders couldn’t stop shaking and his face was sickly pale. He was bent and cowered on his knees gasping for air, Corrin sat in front of him and tapped his shoulder, but he didn’t flinch; she could have sworn that he was sobbing, but upon inspecting his face from close she realized that he was holding back.

“Ryoma…?! What’s wrong?”

“I should have been there for her.”

“ _Her_? Who do you mean—?”

“Scarlet.” He lifted his face to look at Corrin in the eye, bearing immense grief in the way his brows furrowed. The name that he pronounced was her first time hearing it. “I promised to Scarlet that I’d free Cheve at her side, and I wasn’t there for her. And now she’s dead because of me. I should’ve been there to support her and Takumi. What kind of man I am? She’d still be alive if I… I…”

The words wouldn’t come out from him, neither her. The princess could feel her heart breaking by hearing him like this. She couldn't really put in words why was she feeling like this, as if suddenly something she took for granted turned out to be just another lie.

Corrin heard about Cheve’s violent fall, but never heard the name of Scarlet mentioned. Ryoma’s defensiveness forced him to shut down all these feelings, and they have been building up within him for so long… It was possible that he didn’t even speak of this pain with his family. He feared weakness so much that it's been destroying him from the inside.

And now, he was past his breaking point, trembling in front of her.

“… Did you love her?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know, she and I were just… No…no, it was more than that—” But he suddenly shut his mouth. However, it was too late, Corrin had heard enough.

Corrin couldn't be angry at him for this, couldn't help but to empathize with him. It was too soon and too late to feel any sort of jealousy, and it was ultimately pointless. Ryoma was entitled to his grief, for something that would never be and someone that would never come back. There wouldn't be relief for anyone tonight.

Without thinking, her arms surrounded him and didn’t dare to let him go, even if it was killing her inside. His head rested against her neck and allowed her to pull him into the futon again, because he'd collapse right there if she didn't.

She was exhausted too. She was confused, sore and on her breaking point too.

Yet, he needed her. He needed someone to lean onto.

“I know why you feel like you must conceal these things… but you’re just a man.” She whispered, passing her fingers along his sweaty scalp. “I’m worried about you. Why won't you rely on me? Please, don't forget about me. Don't forget that I'm here.”

And his arms embraced her even more tightly. It didn’t feel like he’d let go anytime soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if I nailed the characterization in this chapter. Maybe I overdid it?  
> Anyway, remember to check out next friday for a new chapter :O  
> Please leave feedback?


	12. Gap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Consent Issues.

TAKUMI

“Is there anything you remember about me and Corrin when we were little?”

His big sister, who was sharpening her naginata at the side of road, smiled at him upon recognizing his interest. “You mean together, as if playing?”

“I don’t know, anything” Takumi shrugged, he decided to relax a little instead of preparing weapons like Hinoka. “What was Corrin like?”

They’ve been traveling from Izumo back to Hoshido for two days, and they’d arrive to Fort Jinya within a couple of days more. Since Ryoma managed to gain the Archduke’s favor and granted him a large number of healers that were to aid to the recovery of the war’s victims as well for the army’s injured. They would regroup within their territory and prepare for their next move.

As for Corrin, she was no longer transported like a prisoner, but her position was still clear to the rest of the army, the malicious whispers crawled behind her back and some of them were too honest on what they thought of her.

Not long ago, Takumi would’ve been one of them.

But lately he tried very hard to change that. Initially he did it more for his own sake than hers, but even now the guilt would come back to bite at him within dreams and wakefulness. He just wanted to breathe and understand, and then begin to heal if he ever wanted to help her at all.

“Well, I wasn’t as old as Ryoma to remember all things clearly, but I recall that Corrin used to play a little too rough with you. And of course, you were still too small, so you cried a lot.”

“Oh, nice way of rubbing salt on the wound.”

“But that aside… well, you can’t possibly remember this, but there was this time in which a wild snake almost bit you.”

“A snake…?”

“I wasn’t there when it happened, Ryoma will probably be able to tell you the story better.”

“What does this have to do with Corrin?”

“Ryoma told me that he heard you crying in the castle's garden near a bush, and he thought that Corrin was bullying you again, but then he saw a half-dead snake next to you. Needless to say, he had to carry both of you for a healer to mend you, but only Corrin was bitten by the snake.” Hinoka smiled with a glint of pride. “According to her, she grabbed the snake because she thought that it wanted to attack you. She wanted to protect you, isn’t that kind of amazing?”

“… You’re not making this up, are you?”

Hinoka huffed, pointing the tip of the weapon to him. “You’d have to take it against Ryoma, because this is what he said to me. You could always just go and ask him…”

“Alright, alright, that won’t be necessary.”

“So, does that satisfy you?”

“Yeah, but I just… No, it’s nothing. Thanks, Hinoka.”

…

 

 

RYOMA

His mind perceived the words, he digested them and isolated them to the part of his mind that was able to make sense of them. But his true face had been necessarily locked deep underneath, since there was no need for a broken prince to take part in war meetings, specially now that they arrived to Fort Jinya after such a long journey.

Strangely enough, being so close to home didn’t grant him the respite everyone hoped for; there were far too many problems in his mind that he could not let his heart waver a single instant. He managed to make the Archduke Izana happy enough to grant him of more proficient healers to aid Hoshido’s people and his army too, and that task alone had nearly worn him to the bone…

More importantly, he could not let Corrin worry about him anymore, and he failed to her so much already.

Throughout the whole meeting, it wasn’t until almost its end when he noticed that Takumi was sitting close to him, listening attentively the whole time. He’d better make sure to pretend that he’s been always aware of his presence.

“… One of their armies will pass through Mokushu. They’ll indeed try to access hoshidan territory through Izumo, but we’ll be readying our forces around Izumo to halt their pass, force them to back down. Of course, we have also our borders at the Bottomless Canyon heavily guarded at all times.”

Ryoma nodded, his demeanor unfailingly firm as always. “Yes. And I was told to expect some reports about the Canyon today.”  

One of the men was a messenger from the borders, a known subordinate to Yukimura, Mikoto’s trusted strategist in charge of protecting Hoshido while the prince was out.

“Our spies brought back their reports on the activities of Lady Azura from weeks ago, Lord Ryoma. Not good news, I’m afraid.”

Ryoma tensed under his armor. “You may speak.”

“Our border soldiers reported an abnormal breach of Faceless set to break through our lines, but they also ended up attacking the nohrian troops stationed there. While both sides didn’t suffer casualties, our spies watched Lady Azura along the nohrian prince fall from the canyon’s edge to the depths.”

And then, there was silence. The whole world was silent and nothing existed outside of the meeting room. He felt his heart racing incredibly fast, and inevitably, the faces of both Azura and Corrin appeared inside his mind, particularly the expression Corrin made every time she spoke fondly of her family, her nohrian siblings… her love so pure and effortless when she spoke of them, always.

“… Which prince?”

“Milord?”

“Who was the prince who fell down with Azura?” Ryoma’s voice lost his cool for a moment. His gloved hand was gripping the table so hard that it was hurting.

The messenger bowed his head quickly, his skin went almost white from one moment to the other. Was he truly that scary when he let his anger show?

“It was Prince Leo, the second youngest, Milord.”

…

 

 

TAKUMI

His head was dizzy for minutes after that dreadful meeting, and part of him wanted to believe that it was all just a bad dream.

While he spent most of his life fighting against the idea of accepting Azura as a sister, he never wanted anything bad to happen to her. He did hate her upon finding out that she sided with Nohr, but he also spent a pathetic amount of time denying that he also missed her and her song.

Rumors about the death of the nohrian prince and Azura inevitably spread at an alarming pace throughout the hoshidan army; such important news were always meant to travel fast across the lands, especially during war. Some of the most crooked soldiers in the army even started to shamelessly celebrate about the news, and he felt extremely sick in the stomach and wanted to rampage. He was incredibly naïve for expecting the best from the Hoshidan army, but then again, he would be no better than them.

Instead of entertaining his own feelings, he ran straight into the room where Corrin was supposed to be guarded, only to find out that she wasn’t there anymore. His mind was racing when he ran all over the fortress of Jinya looking for her, knowing that it was already too late.

He found her at the bottom of the courtyard, Kagero was standing silently beside her with her arms crossed, Corrin was sitting below a tree with her head facing down, her shoulders shaking. The moment she looked up to meet his eyes, he thought that his heart would shrink, her face was all red but he could tell that she was holding back the tears.

“Is it true? That they saw Azura and Leo fall into the Bottomless Canyon? Please, tell me that it’s not.” Even her voice was shaky when she spoke to him.

“… I’m sorry.”

“No… Oh gods… oh gods.” She breathed heavily, and tried to walk away.

But Takumi watched her wobble in her pace, Kagero tried to catch her, but Corrin fell on her knees abruptly while still wheezing miserably. Her red eyes filled with water and she cried out, she was so loud that Takumi thought it’d hurt his ears.

The air around her was hot, as if her whole body was burning up, he was wary of approaching her, remembering what happened when Mother was killed. Would Corrin just turn into a dragon again?

But nothing happened. Kagero was at her side, whispering things that he couldn’t hear, but Corrin didn’t allow the ninja to touch her.

“I want to die…!” she sobbed. Corrin pulled at her own hair with an expression twisted with grief, growling and whimpering on the grass.

Takumi has never seen in his life such a pathetic and childish display, and he couldn’t stop looking at her, couldn’t stop feeling ashamed and angry with himself for ever wanting her to suffer just like this, because the anguish of losing loved ones was something that nobody deserved.

“Corrin, stop that!” Takumi called out at her, but his hands didn’t know what to do when he squatted next to her.

What good could he possibly do? He was Corrin’s brother, but so it was Prince Leo, and no doubt that he used to be a far better brother to her than Takumi could ever be. What good could he possibly do? He felt so useless!

“Let her be, Takumi.”

Ryoma appeared, rushing to them with a stern gaze. The younger brother’s first reaction however, was to place his hands on Corrin’s shoulders, briefly shaking his sister off her lament. He looked at her in the eye, unsure if she could see him with so many tears flowing still. He gritted his teeth when he heard Ryoma’s steps right behind him, looming like a shadow on them.

_What good can you possibly do?_

“… I’m here”, he whispered, feeling a chill in his spine as he held Corrin’s body against him, just close enough for his cheek to brush against her left ear. Her shoulders were so stiff, and so was he, because it’s been years since he last hugged someone. Having close physical contact wasn't normal for him, but it probably was for her. “I’m sorry, sister. I’m so sorry.”

He didn’t know what to do next for what felt like an eternity within seconds… his hands were rigid on her shoulders and her chest was heaving against his at the rhythm of her sobbing. It was very awkward to hold her like this, and he didn’t even know if she appreciated it. But then, he sensed her hands behind his back, as if weakly trying to embrace him too.

For one moment, he really didn’t want to let go, afraid that she’d fall apart if he did.

But they had to do it eventually. Ryoma was still right behind them, and somehow his presence didn’t feel reassuring at all, couldn’t explain why. Takumi just knew it within his heart that he was afraid of leaving the both of them alone. He couldn’t explain it, or, _he didn’t want to_. He respected Ryoma too much, but right now, Takumi was feeling nothing but great foreboding.

When they separated, Corrin was helped by Ryoma to stand up on her bare feet, but her immediate response was abrupt, withdrawing aggressively from Ryoma’s touch. Her eyes were still red and swollen, but now she bared her teeth too.

“I need to be alone!” she yelped before running away from them. Kagero disappeared almost immediately, probably to follow her.

“Wait!” Right before Takumi could follow, his big brother grabbed his shoulder firmly, staring at him soberly. How could he keep such calm after what just happened?

“That’s enough, Takumi. We should step back and let her mourn for a moment.”

And then he scowled. “What if she does something rash? You heard her, didn’t you?”

“… She’s not that kind of person. Besides, my retainers will keep watch on her, as always. Please, brother. Let her be.”

They were words meant to be heartening, but Takumi was now aware that they were lies. However, judging by that look on his big brother’s face, Takumi would not be allowed to even try to approach Corrin soon, not unless he tried to be discreet.

He was tired of ignoring this thorn in his conscience, and he decided that he was getting to the bottom of this.

…

 

 

CORRIN

The room given to her within Fort Jinya was far smaller, if not claustrophobic, but perhaps that was just how she felt. There was nothing but the oppressive feeling that she had once more something violently ripped away from her; never in her whole life she felt so useless and despicable as she realized that she didn’t remember the last time she saw Leo’s face.

Maybe this was her punishment for straying from her path, for choosing to not fight. Her worst fears had come true and she had nobody else to blame but herself.

She could’ve cried herself to sleep, but she simply wandered aimlessly around the room, staring at the ceiling and then her window until the sky darkened. She discovered that she could no longer shed tears, that maybe she finally went dry.

In her room, there was a window on the opposite side of the large shoji doors, and it was a room settled at the bottom of Fort Jinya meant for important guests, however, she was fully aware that she was the only person staying in the whole building aside Ryoma’s retainers... or maybe not. In their eyes she was rendered as a completely submissive prisoner who so far had proved to be no threat to their master or any hoshidan.

But that didn’t mean that she couldn’t be a threat to herself.

The thought had crossed her mind, but would she have enough will-power to carry it on? It’d be as easy as to use her own futon’s blanket to hang herself from that window. Would she wield that opportunity to silence her grief or to bring even more suffering to those who loved her? If she were to make a statement out of her death, would they respect it, even if she was no more than a coward? Would it mean anything?

Corrin wasn’t sure anymore if she had the energy to care whether her death would be meaningless or not. So far, escaping from her problems has been the only thing that she’s done since the day she willingly gave up her freedom.

And then she heard the sliding of her room’s door, it was unusually noisy. She’s forgotten to lit a lamp, so the light made her eyes squint a little. Prince Ryoma had to enter just to see her sitting against the window, staring blankly at nothing. He brought a lamp of his own, probably found it at the entrance of the complex.

“It’s the middle of the night.” She stated the obvious, part of her felt surprised at the lack of emotion she exerted, whereas he was visibly agitated without that damned armor mask.

They haven’t had any more sexual encounters since that time in which he broke down before opening up about that unknown woman Scarlet… He seemed to have regained some of his composure in the past few days, but he was still visibly disturbed within the reasonable.

Again, Corrin was surprised by her own ability to coldly observe these details. However, the moment she rose, she felt again a sharp jolt of pain crawl all over her torso.

The scars served as reminders of her mistake and her gross submission to Ryoma.

“I’m worried about you, I came to confirm that you’d be alright”, he said, leaving the lamp down after sliding the door closed. Her breathing suddenly hitched as she braced her chest because of the pain she was trying to control.

“You’d know better than to believe that I’d be alright in just a matter of a few hours. What do you want me to do, Ryoma? To just move on and accept what happened because I was far away from them?”

“You can’t know if being with them would have prevented this outcome.”

“But I was still away from them! I should have been there for them!” she snapped at him, her cool quickly collapsed like a frail sandcastle.

But she could only gasp for air, as tears have long ago stopped flowing. The frustration of not being able to cry was building up in her body, so her back bent forward in search for support she could not find. Her teeth were teetering and the lightning scar was burning on her skin, as if it was alive.

Even more vicious words rolled out of her tongue. “If only I escaped when I had the chance, maybe they’d still be alive… I could have saved them!”

“You couldn’t know that, Corrin!” he retorted, his hands got a hold of her shoulders, and his face grew distorted in anxiety. “You played no part in what happened to them and there’s no point in blaming yourself! Stop speaking that non-sense so lightly!”

“How would you feel in a position like mine? How would your heart take it if you knew your siblings and friends were dying while being held as hostage?”

“Don’t speak like that. Azura was important to me too, and I don’t need to remind you that she’s not the only loss that I suffered.”

“Stop making this about you! Your loss is not the only thing that matters! How can’t you see that I’m within my rights to feel like this?”

“It’s not like that! All I’m saying is that it’s not your fault. No matter how you look at it, you are not at fault for what happened. It was me!” And as fast as his voice rumbled in that last sentence, her fingers clutched on the neck of his kimono, feeling as if pain folded her whole being. And again, he was letting the cracks of his persona deepen more. “… I tore you away from those people you learned to call your family. I forced you to do it. The only reason why you weren’t there for your brother and for Azura was because I wanted it that way. Corrin… I hope that one day you can forgive me one day for my selfishness.”

Quietly, sheer force of anger pushed her into shoving Ryoma to one of the walls of the room. He was once more taken aback by her strength, even though he didn’t fight back. This passiveness of his only fed her frustration more.

“All you can ever seem to offer is apologies, but you knew full-well what really needed to be done.”

He shook his face slowly. “… I can’t do it. I simply can’t.”

“I can’t be your prisoner forever!” she growled.

She was so angry that her whole body was trembling in ache; she thought she’d go insane with pain and ire, and Ryoma was doing nothing to help her!

Before she could think it through, she forcefully opened his kimono and Ryoma suddenly jerked, catching her wrists with his scarred hands. “Corrin…!” His face was stunned in utter disbelief.

And then she snarled, her fingers tensed on his naked chest. “You knew it from the moment that you told me that you were not my blood: you no longer have a reason to keep me here, other than a petty war prisoner. Is this the reason why you accepted my advances on you?”

Needless to say, he looked petrified as she thrusted her words unto him like daggers. His colorless face was covered in cold sweat.

“Did you make love with me so I didn’t have to run away?” she continued.

His hold on her wrists flinched a little. Her fingers could sense the erratic drum of his heartbeat, she’s never felt it so agitated before.

“Corrin… please, you’re unstable, you need to rest.” She was listening, but she was also tired, neglected, in pain. She needed something that only Ryoma could give to her. Corrin bent her knee between his legs, and her thigh touched his erection, making him flinch. “Stop that”, he breathed.

“No.”

“This is not the right time.”

“Then let me go.”

“I can’t do that either.”

“Then help me.”

“How is this supposed to help you?”

“The same way it helped you to snuff out your guilt, help me to snuff out the pain, as we always do.”

“Corrin…”

“Don’t you want me?”

“… I _love_ you, Corrin.”

“Is that true?”

“Yes.”

“Then show it to me.”

She looked deep into his dark eyes, the turbid desire was reflected back into hers, but he’d never admit it. They’ve grown so used to each other, their bodies couldn’t help but to react to this intoxicating closeness.

Ryoma, almost in a faint sense of resignation, let go of her wrists and then allowed her to kiss him with frightening hunger, entwining her body on his.

And in the dark, between those rough caresses and angry bites, Corrin felt sweet succor to the pain that piled up within her, the natural response of her body because she realized that she was helpless to the temptations of the flesh. This was her perverse medicine, for the wicked person that she was and Ryoma was the only one who’d fill her up, because he too was wicked like her.

One action led to another, and Ryoma pinned her to the floor, lifting her dress and legs to take her roughly. Her whole body shook from the impact and she clung to his shoulders, trying to keep her cries down. But the weight he thrust upon her was not enough.

“Wait… Not like this. Lift me up”, she murmured, still struggling to control her voice. They changed to a position in which she could sit on his lap.

He held her so close as she rocked her hips violently as he helped to move them up and down, their joined bodies made the wooden floor beneath them creak very loudly. He kissed and sucked her breasts just to muffle any delicious moans he could possibly make.

But it was too late, she heard him.

She heard the shoji door slide. And she turned her head to the door.

She held her breath as the blood left her face and her heart was frozen for one second, feeling as if her insides suddenly shrunk in dread.

Takumi’s pale face could be seen through that gap of the open door, and his mouth was trembling agape in full horror.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was one of the toughest to write, I hope that you understand why. For that, I don't condone Ryoma/Corrin's actions and neither should you, guys (I will totally understand if I lose readers for this chapter in particular).  
> I will probably post the next chapter sooner than next friday, maybe.


	13. Anguish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early update? Early update!

CORRIN

Her heart had tasted the bitterness of this despair upon finding out that Kagero knew about Corrin’s affair with Ryoma, and she tolerated it, because Kagero had context and it was her job to bear with it, just enough to not condemn Corrin for her actions even if she had all the rights to do it. It was a controlled situation.

“T… Takumi?”

However, the moment in which she heard the door slide and identified that face amidst the shadows, she felt like the smoldering body below her suddenly turned ice-cold and simultaneously prompted a force inside of her to make her break apart from Ryoma, who rushed into fixing his clothes.

“HOW COULD YOU?”

It was like a storm breaking through the door, and to the surprise of them both, the youngest prince had in his hands the Fujin Yumi, shining with a flickering blue light. He probably passed here right after practice or hunting, but such trivial details didn’t matter, because Corrin’s heart was frantically beating against her ribcage as she watched the tip of an arrow made of wavering light resting at the end of the sacred yumi.

The arrow was pointing towards Ryoma.

“Takumi, put your yumi down!” he tried to approach his young brother, but Takumi flinched, straightening his posture and his aim.

“SHUT UP! HOW DARE YOU TELLING ME WHAT TO DO, YOU DIRTY— I SAW WHAT YOU WERE DOING TO HER!”

There were no words to describe the kind of anguish and fury his face expressed, and Corrin didn’t know what to do. Her mind was racing when Takumi’s eyes briefly met hers. The young man was sobbing with rage, and it was so clear how he interpreted what he witnessed.

“Sh-she’s our sister! CORRIN IS OUR SISTER, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT? HOW COULD YOU? WHAT KIND OF MAN DOES THAT TO HIS OWN SISTER?”

“I swear I can explain this—”

“No, you can’t! There’s no explanation, there’s not even an excuse! Y-you dirty liar—!”

“Will you just listen to me?” Ryoma snapped at him, but the Takumi just pointed the arrow up to his face. Corrin’s breath was hitching. “I’m your Brother! You will listen to me!”

“I’M NOT SCARED OF YOU!”, Takumi cried out. It was impossible for Corrin to look at Ryoma’s face from this angle, but he was clearly a far more imposing presence than his younger brother.

Then, Ryoma seemed to take a deep breath, but Takumi still looked horrified.

“Put the yumi down”, Ryoma said with a frightening calm.

“NO!”

“Are you going to shoot me then?” At this point, Takumi was already hyperventilating, pulling the bow’s light string ever further back. Ryoma’s voice was severe and it was making his brother visibly more anxious. “Put the yumi down. Now.” 

And then, Corrin, with her hands wrapping her body tightly back in her dress, stepped in, looking at her youngest brother in the eye. “Takumi, please…”, she pleaded in the softest voice she could.

They exchanged gazes for a couple of seconds, and the frantic Takumi hesitated for a moment, but slowly his arms lowered down the Fujin Yumi, its blue light perished as his feet stepped  clumsily backwards until his back touched with the wall on the hallway outside the room.

His brown eyes were in cloudy in confusion, he was still heaving and the dim light in the room revealed that his face was damp under his eyes. Corrin felt her heart breaking as she found that she barely had any words to direct to Takumi, because he knew perfectly well what his eyes saw, and there was no way to undo that.

Ryoma, still giving his back to Corrin, slowly sat at the door’s entrance and took another breath, looking directly at his brother who was still standing stiff on the hallway.

“Forgive me, Takumi. I never meant for you or anyone to learn it like this. But the truth is that Corrin is not our blood-sister.”

And all sound was once more drained around them, Corrin held her breath and tried her best to put together the mess within her mind. She needed to be clear-headed now, needed to put everything else behind her if she wanted this to end in the least terrible manner. Her body was still sore and her soul was more dead than alive right now, but she simply couldn’t stand seeing Takumi like this because of her…

The young prince shook his head, the words finally sunk into him.

“Ryoma, if this is just a trick for letting you get away with this—”

“No”, Corrin interrupted, stepping even closer to Ryoma’s side. Takumi’s shoulders jerked. “He’s telling the truth. I am not King Sumeragi’s daughter… None of us are blood-related, Takumi. I’m so sorry.”

“… But, what he did to you, Corrin—” that’s where he stopped, his eyes suddenly went yet wider with immediate understanding, and his mouth trembled. “You’ve got to be kidding…! All this time, you were…?”

“I know this is hard to understand, but—” She tried to walk closer to him, reach out to him with her dirty hands, but Takumi started and walked away from her while he was still panting.

His face was twisted in pure disdain; tears were streaming down his cheeks while his reddened eyes pierced through her.

“Don’t you come near me! You disgust me! Both of you! I hate you!”

And then he ran away before they could call him back.

He wouldn’t listen anyway. He’s seen enough.

Ryoma got back on his feet, and Corrin finally saw his strained face. He was no better than her, and in this moment, they had no words to describe exactly how they felt for what just went down. They both shared the shame for this atrocity and the damage they caused to Takumi, they deserved this bitterness.

Finally, Ryoma turned around and called at her to follow his steps.

“I’ll summon your sisters right away, there’s some explaining that I need to do.”

He sounded just as dead as she felt.

…

 

 

Corrin sat in the room appointed for Ryoma, not too close to him, but she sat in awkward silence as he allowed him to do the talking. Hinoka paced around the room for a while after hearing the whole story, but Sakura remained sitting on the pillow, still trying to process everything.

They were both awake when they received their big brother’s call, Hinoka doing some chores with the weapon inventory and Sakura was just getting ready to go to sleep. Both princesses were still trying to cope with the news about Azura, which made Ryoma’s sudden revelation that much worse for them.

Of course, unnecessary details were spared. They weren't meant to know.

“I’m sorry for keeping this from you”, and Ryoma bowed his head more deeply, Hinoka stopped walking for a moment, her eyes were turbid with conflicted emotions.

“I just can’t believe it… Why couldn’t Mother tell us about this?”, Hinoka asked, her voice cracked.

“A-and who’s Corrin’s real father?”, Sakura added.

“That, I don’t know and Queen Mikoto wouldn’t disclose that information. But the truth remains that our Father took her in and Corrin and made sure to never let them feel out of place”, he explained.

“But why now? Why would you decide to tell us the truth now, Ryoma? And where’s Takumi?”

“I-I saw him leave the fortress before I was called, and he looked very upset. I…I didn’t, I, I should have stopped him, right?”

Ryoma swallowed for a moment, he continued: “Sorry, Sakura. He discovered the truth while I was with Corrin alone, and he didn’t take it well… For that, I decided to finally come clean with all of you.”

Hinoka didn’t try to conceal how disturbed she was.

“You know, I don’t blame him for being angry… I mean… I have trained all these years, wanting to see my little sister again—What’s the meaning of this, Brother? Why wait until now to come out with this? What’s changed?” Corrin’s body tensed when Hinoka turned her face to look at her as her furious expression slowly changed to dismay. “D-don’t tell me… Corrin, do you want to leave?”

This time, Corrin forced herself to speak: “It’s not like that, Hinoka. I’m not… I wasn’t planning to do that.” That was a lie though.

“Then what is it? Ryoma? Why aren’t you saying anything? Is this about what happened at the canyon? Is she going to become a political pawn? What do you want to do with Corrin?” The red princess clearly wasn’t expecting answers, maybe deep inside she knew that she didn’t need them, because it was too soon.

Ryoma endured her controlled fit of rage with composed silence, Sakura was barely holding in her tears while witnessing this scene.

“I…  I need a moment”, Hinoka huffed and gave up, promptly leaving the room.

The youngest princess sighed, she certainly did her best to not cry. Slowly, she got up after a few moments of silence, and she softly nodded at her big brother, then to Corrin, bearing a sad smile for her.

Outwardly it seemed like Sakura took it far better than her other siblings.

“Uhm… I’m just still—it’s hard to take all of it in. But it’s not necessary to change anything, right? I loved our mother, even if I always knew that she wasn’t my blood mother. Corrin… you were a s-stranger to me from the moment you showed up at Hoshido, b-but I knew that y-you're a kind person, which is why I t-tried to get to know you better a-and not only because our mother wanted me to.”

Corrin returned the smile, as hard as it was under the weight of this situation. “Thank you, Sakura…” However, the girl quietly sniffled.

“… You're still our sister, right? I-I want to believe you are, as my mother's daughter, b-because if you're not… then what were we all fighting for?”

Ryoma, was visibly restless by this exchange, and Corrin noticed how Sakura eyed him when she said this. The truth was out at last, but at what price?

…

 

 

TAKUMI

After he stopped counting the hours in which he hid deep within the forest, beneath the thick crown of an abie, he passed out on the grass around its roots until it was dusk again.

This time, he didn’t remember anything of his nightmare, he simply  woke up with the feeling of snakes ghosting all over his body along with a killer headache… it was like a big invisible claw clutching tightly at his skull.

He let out a shaky breath and started to remember why he ran away, and he fisted his hands so hard that he hurt the inside of his palms since he removed his gloves long ago. He held his Fujin Yumi close with his arms, as if his body searched for the smallest comfort.

He forced himself to think, even if it hurt, for he needed to look back all the events that led up to this outcome.

Before war broke out, he heard many atrocious things about the nohrian barbarians, particularly what they did to their prisoners of battle—if they took any at all—, especially if they decided to capture youngsters and townspeople. Some of them were sold into slavery, the least fortunate of them would be kept for their army… However, it had been incredibly naïve of him to assume for years that only nohrians were capable of such cruelty.

He remembered hearing it from Hinoka once, when she finally had her chance to lead her first patrol around the borders of the Wind Tribe, she returned home depressed over the kind of bandits she was forced to detain; slave traders, hoshidan nonetheless. Children and women had been involved. It took some time for him for this fact to sink in, that evil came from all places and hoshidans were no exception to the rule.

There was only another instance in which he recalled this again, and it happened when Azura was kidnapped by those rogue soldiers that broke into the Shirasagi Castle after Mother’s death. Gods know what would have happened to Azura if Corrin didn’t rescue her in Nohr…

Even with his efforts to ignore the easy way to misread the signs, those dark worries blossomed back to haunt him when he encountered this last situation; the way Ryoma captured Corrin, how he visited her almost every day and without the vigilance of his retainers, and the way she was visibly affected by Ryoma’s visits… it was hard to not connect the dots.

And he felt so reluctant to even fathom that his own brother would be capable of such a despicable thing… which only made his own misunderstanding even worse.

However, even if it was never what he feared, it didn’t take away all the horror and disgust he felt that moment. The betrayal.

He went as far as to believe his own brother was a rapist because he came to care about Corrin. He came to want to protect her. All the time that he spent trying to understand her, forgive her, love her… even that, and she betrayed everything. She destroyed everything.

Takumi felt his head throb harder, feeling like it was going to crack open. It was suddenly very hard to stay focused and his sight was blurry. He attempted to move, change his lumped position to sit, maybe get up and search for water at the stream nearby the forest… but his legs were numb and he quickly grew frustrated because of the headache.

Though still in searing pain he could hear soft steps from afar. They were many of them too. Probably a search team sent after him. For how long did he stray in the forest?

He still had muddled sight, and the skies were getting dark, so he couldn’t make out the figures that approached him. His sense of wariness grew tenfold, realizing that the colors of their clothes were darkly unfamiliar.

His hand was gripping the Fujin Yumi tightly, but his arms were numb too. He couldn’t even focus enough to use the weapon properly.

Takumi also perceived it, the moment in which those figures noticed him beneath the tree; he’s been careless. They greatly outnumbered him, and he was unfairly disadvantaged because of his own dumbed down state due migraine and numb body.

“Well, well, well… Would you believe who we found here?” said one of the nohrian mages, obviously sounded amused. They were probably ten soldiers or more behind that one.

He held his breath, trying to crawl away at his best ability, but the headache was only getting worse.

 _I’m not afraid. I can get out of this. I_ have _to get out of this. I’m not afraid._

But he was just lying to himself.

“Hey, you! Where do you think you’re going, young man?”

In his whole life Takumi has never felt so afraid.

…

 

 

CORRIN

The inside of Fort Jinya was dull in comparison to its outside, aside the contrast of the red roofs, everything was gray from dawn to dusk, even the rooms that had been painted with landscapes, dragons and people on the old yellow shoji screens, the whole atmosphere of the fortress gave it a very sober feeling to any room.

Or maybe this was just her. At this moment, it was impossible to feel optimistic about anything.

It was only natural that the tension inside the Fort rose too, since it was no longer a secret that there was a fight between the royal siblings, but for what reason, there were just speculations in the air. The concrete cause of that fight was diligently protected by Ryoma’s retinue; they did a good job at preventing any harmful rumors from spreading throughout the army. During all that time, Corrin remained at Ryoma’s side despite all the silent judgmental stares from hoshidan soldiers and advisors.

However, the fact remained that Takumi ran away because something happened between them, and Corrin couldn’t help but to have her thoughts divided between what happened at the Bottomless Canyon and Takumi. His painful words still rumbled through her mind at night…

“Where is he? From what I hear, he hasn’t returned for almost two days.” Corrin leaned closer to Ryoma, even if his presence wasn’t warm anymore. They’ve been sitting together in his room for quite a while, but at a very conscious distance from each other.

“His retainers have already set search groups out for him, they should eventually find him… He can’t hide forever.”

Ryoma seemed to have restored his usual poise, but in the last couple of days, he hardly ever looked directly into her eyes; he was obviously more preoccupied by Takumi and the effect he’d have on their family when he returned.

“It’s going to be hard to make him understand…”

But something else has been bothering her about this issue with Takumi. It was such a small detail that could easily be dismissed under that rampage, but Corrin simply had to address it with a cold head.

“Ryoma, when we saw him at the hall that night… didn’t you notice that something was off about him?” she asked pensively, her fingers were twirling on the tips of her hair. “I mean… didn’t you sense that there was something very ominous about Takumi’s eyes?”

“He was reasonably upset at that moment, but I have to admit that I felt extremely uneasy at that moment because he appeared to be out of his senses. I never thought he’d ever be capable of expressing his anger like that, not even after Mother’s death. Or maybe I have failed to be perceptive enough on how he handles his emotions.”

“I guess the consequences of our acts were on due.” Corrin bit her lower lip; perhaps Takumi’s reaction had not been an exaggeration. “He’s never going to forgive me.”

“He was attacking _me_ , Corrin.”

“It’ll wind up with him blaming me for the incident, I’m sure of that. And that’s… probably for the best. I’d rather him to put the blame on me than breaking his relationship with you, his real brother.”

He frowned sadly at her thoughts, she probably said too much.

They have avoided talking about their relationship since that night, and by the way things have developed, Corrin and Ryoma had to treat the subject with utmost care.

“What do you think will happen to us?” he finally asked.

“Us…? I don’t know. This affair of ours has been a turbulent ride from the get-go. I don’t know exactly what we are, I don’t even know if we have a future…”

“The moment when I kissed you, I knew that I was past the point of no-return with you. And now I’m paying for that. I know how you feel, but I won’t let Takumi pin all the blame on you; I’ll just try to be the big brother and take responsibility for it. Then we can think of what to do next.”

Corrin nodded, she knew how much it hurt to find the right words, she knew that the love muffled by passion had been real, there was no question about that… but has it been _good_?

As far as they were both concerned, their lives didn’t exactly improve since they decided to start this relationship. They’ve been incredibly obstinate and stupid for pursuing a love born from scars and tears, and they really had this storm coming. Perhaps in another time, another place, it could have been…

Together, they waited patiently. They were supposed to get news about Takumi pretty soon.

And suddenly out of nowhere, Kagero appeared kneeled in the corner of the room and her master acknowledged her presence right away.

Kagero’s face looked grim.

“My liege, I’m afraid that I bring to you dire news.”

“Speak, Kagero”, his voice demanded, probably wanted Corrin to listen too.

The woman’s white face was far more expressive today, even Corrin was aware of it; so clearly distressed and self-deprecating, Kagero lowered her head until her hair was touching the floor and seemed to inhale for one brief instant.

“… Lord Takumi was tracked far west in the forest, and our scouts have informed me that he’s been captured by nohrian infiltrates.”

There seemed to be a pause, nearly unperceivable, but Corrin felt it as her world adjusted to the meaning of that report.

“They fought restlessly to retrieve him, but they were vastly outnumbered and overpowered by the enemy, I believe they even lost half of the group in the confrontation. Those infiltrates also seemed to wield magic to transport themselves far away from the place of the encounter, taking Lord Takumi with them. We’ll be arranging another rescue team to search for him, but… it’s hard to say if we’ll even be able to track them based on the magic they used.” The female ninja breathed again, remained perfectly still. “I’m very sorry, Lord Ryoma.”

Kagero was exceptionally good at appearing coolheaded in front of the prince so far, but Ryoma was already at his limit. He walked to one side of the room and had one hand placed over his mouth, as if forcing himself to conceal the dread breaking through his face. But Corrin could see it very clearly.

And besides, she felt no different from Ryoma right now. Misfortune seemed to be unwilling to give them a rest.

She quickly wondered if this was the kind of horror her family felt when they had to lose her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm planning to have another quick update somewhere between Friday and Sunday too. If a god grants me the will, I'll also have a few illustrations finished in representation of this fic. That's a lot of work. (Edit Saturday, July 16th: Okay, it will probably take longer than that, I'm sorry)
> 
> Wish me luck, please.


	14. Departure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for not updating during the appointed dates, I've been feeling ill lately and it made it difficult for me to finish this chapter.  
> This chapter marks the end of the first half of Fractal Scarring, and with that, unfortunately, I'll be taking a few days off to recover, reorganize my drafts and focus on other things.  
> Next chapter will probably come out during July 30-31, so please be patient.  
> And, just as promised, the illustrations that I made are right here, so please check them out.  
> http://madrehorrorosa.tumblr.com/post/147651167759/  
> http://madrehorrorosa.tumblr.com/post/147650969504/

TAKUMI

Ever since he first regained consciousness in the camp filled with nohrian soldiers, he fought against his restraints, kicked and cursed, delivered promises of violent retaliation until one of the guards knocked him out.

Next time they woke him up he was lying on the ground, surrounded by dozens of them, all of them waiting and condescendingly cheering for the hoshidan prince to get up and find his way out. 

When one of them daringly went to touch his hair, his first reaction was to charge at the soldier and push them away with all his strength. Of course, the immediate response of the group of soldiers was to gang-up against the prince.

One of them kicked his face and probably broke his nose. They didn’t even bother to keep him tied up this time, they trusted his body was too weak to put up a fight.

If they were looking for new ways of insulting him, they knew exactly what they were doing. He was surrounded by all these shady-looking men, they all laughed at him, they threw him around like a toy, and if he tried to fight back, they’d hit him twice as hard. He begun to grow desperate, feeling how fast his mind was succumbing to child-like dread.

He yelled at them in frustration, because they wouldn’t stop laughing. They were having so much fun by tormenting him like this. _Monsters_. _Damned nohrians, all of them, sadistic beasts_.

Would he end up just like Scarlet? Would it be quick? Or would they take their sweet time? Or did they have something even worse in store…?

Just thinking about it was torture enough. His whole body shivered by merely thinking about that horrible day on Cheve, as if his clothes were still damp with her blood.

And he suddenly spilled his own blood as it filled his mouth; it was getting hard to breathe… were they planning to just beat him to death? His whole body was already numb with pain, his limbs were too heavy to move and he was certain that more than a couple of bones were broken.

For one moment, they all stopped. He found his chance to pick himself up again, even if it hurt so much. He heard some of the men making remarks about how impressive it was for the prince to still be able to move.

Takumi sneered.

He’d sooner die fighting than give to them the satisfaction of seeing him break…

“What’s with that cocky smile, prince? Too proud to shed tears?” A hand pulled his ponytail from behind, and he couldn’t help but to yelp in pain. They clearly didn’t have enough.

But he was held in place, as if something had forced these degenerates to stop.

A man could be seen outside the crowd of soldiers, all that Takumi could see was some sort of golden halo crowning his black hair.

“What did I tell you about taking it too far, you brutes? I don’t have use for this brat if he’s dead.” That voice, such snobbery and cruelty molded into it… He’s heard this voice before, but couldn’t remember where. “Whatever, just make sure to send for a cleric to heal him after you’re done. I want him in my tent by the next morning.”

The young prince tried to move his head, take a better look at the man behind that voice, but he was suddenly pulled into the sea of hands, restraining and pulling at him painfully, the sense of dread increasing while he felt as if they all wanted to peel off his skin.

…

 

 

CORRIN

“What are you planning to do, Ryoma? Please don’t tell me that you’re going to rush into battle. You don’t even know where he is yet!”

The prince stopped pacing around the room, through the thin shoji screens they could listen to the movement of people rushing around the place; the army on the Fort’s courtyard seemed to be half-aware that something terrible was happening.

Only half a day has passed since the arrival of that report, and apparently the next few scouting teams haven’t had any luck in tracking Takumi. Any hopes of hearing of any hint of his whereabouts were growing thinner and thinner as the hours ran.

If Ryoma was on the verge of another breakdown, he was still exceedingly good as hiding it—far better than she was anyway—, and it didn’t help that he decided to lock himself in this room with her; Corrin wasn’t really the best company right now.

“Exactly what do you want me to do then? Nothing is stopping those nohrians from pulling my family apart. And we don’t know yet what will they do to him… The least I can do is to find Takumi and save him as soon as possible.”

“Just think about it: isn’t this the kind of reaction that they want from you? This is obviously a trap—”

“I _know_ it’s a trap. But what other choice do I have? Takumi was mentally vulnerable when they caught him, and I know that he’s not strong as I am… I… I don’t want to think about what they’ll put him through if they didn’t execute him already.”

All the worst-case scenarios were developing inside his head, she could tell. Who wouldn’t in a situation like this? It wouldn’t be weird to execute an enemy prince to cause outrage and wreck the people’s morale. The thought was chilling, and Corrin couldn’t deny that they were perfectly viable outcomes… however, she kept her mind open.

“They won’t execute Takumi just like that, there’s no way… I’m sure they’ll wait for the right moment to use him against Hoshido. I know this doesn’t serve as a comfort, but if anything, this gives us time to plan and act.”

She walked towards Ryoma and grabbed his wrists softly, noted that they were barely trembling. Somehow, her contact seemed to placate part of his nerves, and it calmed hers in return. His own eyes were a little red because of the lack of sleep and the stress, but his features softened notably when she stepped closer.

Corrin tried to give him a reassuring smile, but the muscles in her face were incredibly heavy now. It wasn’t the time to smile, not when their little brother’s fate was uncertain at best.

“We will find a way to save him together, Ryoma. I promise.”

He closed his eyes for a moment, frowning deep in thought, and he yanked his wrists from her.

“No… you have to remain here. You’ll be brought back to the Capital tomorrow.”

She almost heard her heart croak in utter disappointment. She’s never broken into sweat so fast in her life.

“I can’t stay idle while I know that Takumi was taken away because of me! Think of it, Ryoma! I can be exchanged for him, don’t you see?”

“What makes you believe so firmly that you are the reason that he was kidnapped? And I have told you this so many times already: I don’t want you to be taken away again! You’re staying here and this is final!”

“You don’t get it!” Corrin shook her head in disbelief. “I don’t need to get taken back to their side, Ryoma. I can be used as bait! We just need to find an opening, take them off-guard and save Takumi. I am a valuable hostage after all!”

Ryoma then wielded a very dark look on his face, it took her completely off-guard.

“… Do you remember that assassination attempt, Corrin? That wasn’t a hoshidan ninja from our ranks. One of King Garon’s men sent a Mokushujin to finish you off that night.”

And his words made her stomach clench, but she wasn’t nearly as surprised as expected. It was probably Iago’s doing, King Garon’s tactician, the only man who clearly hated her enough to go that far.

“Do you see it now? They don’t care about getting you back, they’d probably try to execute you as soon as you show up at their door, they’d even try to kill Takumi as well. You know this!”

“Still—”

“I’m doing this to protect you and protect him, don’t you understand?” He continued, she gazed at his face clearly expressing his conflict. “I know that you feel like you need to make amends with Takumi, but I won’t let you be placed in harm’s way just to save him… We need to think better than that.”

“I understand. Yet, you should also know that I have better use out there than I have in here! I have no idea how bad are things out there because you’ve been trying to keep it all away from me, but you know that I belong out there too! You know that I cannot raise a sword against Nohr, but the least I can do now is to help you save our brother!”

“Corrin, I cannot allow—”

“I’m not anymore that pathetic naïve girl that you trapped in Macarath months ago! There’s more for me to do than just wallowing in penance… I have to go and try to save him somehow! This is something that I can —I _must_ — do.” Her voice was growing desperate, she found herself walking around him, and she was prepared to hear him retaliate.

But he had that lost gaze in his eyes, just like that time in which he spoke of Scarlet. This was precisely the worst moment to abandon rationality.

He grabbed her shoulders firmly, as if to keep her in place. “Do you really think that I will let you go just like that? I just got you back, and Takumi was taken away! Why do you want to leave now?”

Corrin, of course, was indignant at this. He’s been letting despair eat him away little by little, he was at his limit.

“Listen to yourself! Are those the words of a man who wanted to face his fears head-on?”, she rebuked, even louder than she should have. “I am afraid of seeing you break completely because of your family! I bear the scars to prove how cruel and reckless you can be because of how much you depend on them! I am afraid that if I leave you now, you’ll go and do something even more reckless; but I decided that I want to take that chance, only if that means that I can at least save the life of my little brother. Wouldn’t you cast away your fears and take this chance too?”

She really hoped that her words got through him, and she saw his expression soften a little. His hands attempted to pull her closer…

“I won’t lose you again, Corrin. Forgive me, but I have to keep you here no matter what.”

And that only made her whole body jerk away, and not before her hand rose towards him. There was a loud smack that echoed in the room at the moment her hand hit his face. She stepped even farther away from him, too angry to hold back her emotions.

For the first time, she truly felt disgusted by this man.

“You’d really do anything just to keep me at your side, wouldn’t you?” she gasped, looking at the red mark she left on his left cheek and his genuine befuddlement and regret.

“Corrin…!”, he called out again, but she turned away. His voice was perceptibly heartbroken, but Corrin just wanted to get away as fast as she could.

…

 

 

Right after that outburst in his room, she left him alone, wanting to hold back her tears and her desire to kick the fragile screens inside the complex. The anger subsided quickly, but her body grew tense for the lack of physical outlet, and part of her felt guilty for wanting to take it out on Ryoma…

But now she didn’t want to be near him.

Upon leaving the complex, she walked nearby the stationed soldiers on the courtyard, and she tried to rush her steps to avoid any more judgmental stares on her.

Since the news of Takumi’s kidnapping dispersed across most of the army, the ambient within Fort Jinya was thick with anxiety and instead of soldiers clamoring for vengeance, there were more quiet voices murmuring to each other, coming closer in groups while watching their backs. Corrin knew well what could all of it mean for her. Even if Takumi’s kidnapping wasn’t her fault, people were ready to use her however they could if it would bring their prince back. And this is exactly what Ryoma didn’t want.

Gods knew how her sisters were reacting to these alarming events, Corrin didn’t have the emotional energy to deal with that.

The moment she laid down on the futon in her room with the lights out, the incident of the nights before still reverberated between the room’s walls and kept her awake. Her chest ached almost out of instinct because of what transcended here…

… The last time that she ever saw Takumi…

The raw emotions Takumi transmitted, the heartache, the words that pierced deeper than any sword, it all just deepened Corrin’s wounds.

The world didn’t even let her mourn for Leo and Azura, and now the weight of Takumi’s fate dropped on her; everything was like an avalanche threating to bury her alive.

But it was unfair to assume that this was a punishment manufactured solely to make her suffer.

This is why she couldn’t just lay here and accept the pain. In one way or another, she needed to go and make things right, even if it wasn’t going to be easy, even if Ryoma couldn’t approve it. Corrin had indulged in her selfish desires for atonement and relief for far too long.

Her body quivered, she sensed that someone was inside her room too, and she was surprised to see Kagero far from the corners, standing in front of her. Even if it was dark, Corrin could discern her features perfectly.

Kagero reached out for the princess and grabbed her arm, forcefully pulling her away from her futon. Corrin was shocked.

“There’s not much time”, the ninja murmured, her voice was barely perceptible. “Put on decent clothes and prepare to run.”

“W-wait! What’s the meaning of this?”

The woman just pulled her more roughly, quickly handing her some trousers that resembled something she’d wear normally. Despite being completely dark, Corrin could tell that Kagero was staring daggers at her.

“Lord Ryoma wants you to get out of here and I’m just acting by his will. Now, we need to be far from the fort within twenty minutes.”

And with this said, Kagero patted her shoulder rather brashly to make her hurry.

Kagero has never been so physical with her before and Corrin’s head was spinning with questions, trying her best to make sense out of those words, because the ninja kept on insisting that there was no time to waste on talking.

Did Ryoma really tell to Kagero to do this? Although it sounded unlikely, Corrin did say that he’d do reckless things in desperate times…

It was clear that Corrin could function as a key pawn to get directly involved with nohrian forces from the inside, if the royals were willing to receive her back with open arms, but Corrin would never work as a double-agent for Hoshido… and Ryoma should be painfully aware of that by now…

And if he decided to let her escape, then it’d signify a great loss for him. Was he truly willing to bear this choice and everything that’d come after? Corrin was certain that Ryoma rushed this command and he’d end up regretting this by dawn.

Even though she wouldn’t have cared if they decided to use her for hostage trading, the things that he said about that assassination attempt really turned things around: she needed to prove herself to Nohr once more, try to not get killed, and find Takumi before it was too late.

“He said that if there’s anyone who’s capable of saving Lord Takumi, it has to be you”, Kagero said when she was faced with Corrin slowness to react when they slipped out of Fort Jinya. “He really believes in you, do you understand? You cannot let him down.”

Thanks to Kagero’s remarkable skill for stealth, they both managed to leave the fortress undetected and then ran into the forest, Kagero always making remarks on how should she move and where to walk to not attract the attention of any scouts already deployed within the area.

It felt like an eternity, following Kagero step by step, just to run faster than she could ever thought she was capable of. She tripped a couple of times with tree roots, sometimes even walked into trunks because of the forest’s darkness, and by the end of their ordeal, Corrin ended up with bloody bruised knees and nose, completely out of breath, feeling like she’d collapse at their stop.

The light of the moon illuminated dimly the hill where they stopped; they had to be at the border of the forest surrounding Jinya. It was so strangely eerie and quiet, especially because Kagero stopped making any sound for a moment.

Corrin started when she felt something touch her arm, discovering that Kagero had been standing beside her, and without making any demands gave to her a rather heavy bag made of animal skin.

“There is dry food, clothes and a few survival tools inside this bag. From here, you’ll have to keep on walking south across the territory of the Wind Tribe. The border guards won’t bother you as long as you prove that you’re unarmed, don’t take risks by passing through the territory of the Kitsune Tribe. If you go by foot, it’s possible it’ll take a little more than ten days, but find transportation if you must. By then, the nohrian army should be already stationed in Mokushu. You should remain in Izumo until they arrive, unless you want to risk being attacked by bandits in Mokushu… And whatever you do, don’t reveal your real name around commoners, we have informants everywhere.”

Corrin barely had the time to nod, barely registering the fact that Kagero wouldn’t accompany her any further. She remained still for a moment, trying her best to not panic, convincing herself that this is something she could do.

But part of her felt so scared, so helpless, she wished she could ask Kagero to let her return to Fort Jinya… but she remembered Ryoma’s face, the eyes of a man who was so deeply afraid of losing his little brother too.

Corrin also remembered the desolation in her heart when she heard about Leo and Azura too… There’s no way that she could submit Ryoma to that kind of suffering too. Not again.

“Is Ryoma going to be fine?”, Corrin finally asked. She couldn’t see Kagero’s face even under the moonlight.

“Only time will tell. If I had an answer for that, I wouldn’t have agreed to take you here… but he insisted. He’s never been so… commanding before.”

The princess clutched tightly the bag she was given. “I know that I’m not in position to ask for anything, but would you please look out for his mental health when I’m gone? I know he can be stubborn about it, but he will really need lots of support. I was a terrible comfort for him, so please, Kagero, see that he finds good people to do what I couldn’t do.”

“… I will take your advice, but you ought to be far away from here when I return to my liege, for I cannot guarantee that he won’t regret sending you away—if he hasn’t already—, because there’s no doubt that the second time that we capture you, we won’t be as gentle as the first.”

This wasn’t a threat, but a warning.

Solemnly, Corrin bowed her head in Kagero’s presence.

“For all that matters, please tell Ryoma that I’ll return Takumi home no matter what. It’s my promise to him”, she said, for one second found her voice swollen with determination.

With the subtle rays of moonlight Corrin detected a change in Kagero and watched how she pulled out of her garments some sort of small round object, a string-wrapped stone that Corrin immediately recognized.

“… Then you’ll have to use this”, Kagero said, and threw the stone to the princess. “Goodbye, Lady Corrin.”

Corrin caught the stone midair and simultaneously witnessed how the ninja vanished in the shadows like a ghost.

And then, she was all alone.

The dragonstone was warm to the touch, and Corrin held it close to her chest for a while, as if her heart was overwhelmed with inexplicable resolution, as if she was once more in control of her own power. In its own way, it was a scary and oddly liberating sensation.

She held the stone tightly in her fist and gently acknowledged that fearsome wrath that lived within her heart.

It was finally hers alone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope to see you soon!


	15. Miracles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I took a longer break so I could make a playlist for this fanfic... but oh well, that'd be an overkill and I was ready to give you this chapter anyway. A promise is a promise! :U

CORRIN

She never knew exactly what the Kitsune were until she found herself running for her life while being chased by monstrous foxes with multiple tails. She even had to force herself to use the dragonstone to change her form in order to defend herself, but they were far tougher than she imagined.

And she didn’t exactly want to run into their territory either as dreadfully defensive they turned out to be, but because of her lack of self-awareness she got lost and didn’t realize how far off she went until it was already too late.

The kitsune ran with her for what felt like hours. Corrin wasn’t used to run for extended periods of time in her draconic form, and though she helped herself glide with her membrane wings when she had to jump from small cliffs, her relatively small wings weren’t meant for flying and the kitsune would effectively catch up with her too fast. Her legs were evidently not meant for sprinting either.

Corrin never grew fond of her situation as someone who could become a dragon. Power was power, and it was hers to control, but it didn’t mean that she have to like it. Whenever she transformed into a dragon, she became three times her own size, her skin hardened, her bones multiplied and her joints would bend to painfully impossible angles… It was something that she’d never grow used to.

The scratches and bite marks that the fox-people left on her body eventually started to become a problem, and she was growing more and more exhausted; the last thing that Corrin wanted was to faint in her dragon form.

At last, she ran into the valley’s river and attempted to jump over it, but miserably failed by falling into the current. It suddenly struck her: she was a water dragon, and swimming would come naturally for her body, and the river’s stream was fast enough to help her escape the kitsune. If she managed to swim away from their territory they’d have to lose interest eventually.

She was gasping for air, or at least, she thought she was. Her draconic form had a strange anatomy and therefore, it forced her to breathe differently. She floated with ease, but she was on the border of collapsing and she could only awkwardly swim along the strong currents.

Because of the ruthless force of the water, she crashed several times on rocks at the river banks while she struggled to hold on to something. If she wasn’t a dragon, she could’ve died because of any of those impacts. Even severely beaten, her long claws finally grabbed on to a trunk of a tree that had fallen on the river, and helped herself ashore.

By the time her body fell on the grass, Corrin tried with her remaining will power to make herself return to her human form, and upon inspecting her white hands, realized that the wounds she suffered from the kitsune translated into her more delicate skin, even if diminished along with her body’s size. Not to mention the horrible bruises caused by swimming in that violent stream. Her whole body was weak with pain and cold, didn’t even have the energy to look out if there were any kitsune around.

She passed out for some minutes before the bad premonitions of her journey forced her to return to her senses. Her clothes were damp and it’d be suicide to fall asleep in this state, but she soon realized with dread that her only baggage was lost in that attack of the kitsune, as one of them who climbed at her back must’ve ripped it away from her.

Corrin limped close around the wood in search of anything resembling refuge, consciously heading in the same direction where the river’s current ran, away from the territory of the kitsune… She wouldn’t survive another encounter with them.

Eventually, the lost princess found a small depression beneath a tree’s roots, which admittedly wasn’t the best hiding place, but she felt like it’d suffice to protect her from the cold air.

She took off her soggy clothes to let them dry on the lower branches of the tree, only leaving the dragonstone hanging around her neck, close to her heart. The stone seemed to retain some sort of magical warmth inside, so she held on to it zealously as she curled up within a bundle of dead leaves.

She had no means to start a fire —she was a water dragon after all—, nor she intended to, as she feared of attracting any kitsune anymore. Her shoulders were shivering nonstop, even if she attempted to conserve bodily warmth. If the kitsune wouldn’t kill her, hypothermia would.

…

 

 

She would find herself snapping in and out of sleep for hours, the chills caressed her skin like thorns, and her mind would be picked again and again by thoughts of hopelessness and determination, so deeply entwined that it was hard to tell when did one start and the other ended.

Her mind had been so focused on running away from Hoshido that she neglected any thoughts regarding Takumi and his captivity. During the past few days that she travelled through the Wind Tribe’s territory, she stopped once or twice to think about him, which wasn’t much, but Corrin had too many things to think about.

Her heart was divided between finding Xander and properly mourn with his family the loss of Leo and Azura, and then there was the possibility of returning to Ryoma’s side as fast as she could. No matter her final choice, saving Takumi would come first, no doubt about it.

But why was Corrin so hell-bent into saving Takumi? Was it love? Redemption? Courage? The dread of forcing Ryoma’s family through the same tragedy they experienced when Corrin was kidnapped? Or was it the guilt that she carried for causing so much pain to Takumi and Ryoma?

_… Was there anything else?_

_Yes._ But she figured that it was a reason too shameful to even entertain in her thoughts, because she was afraid of it…

Corrin so desperately wanted to have someone to save, like Takumi, because she was already defeated by the fact that she wasn’t there to save her little brother, Leo. And it really hurt. She didn’t want to think of Takumi as a replacement of Leo, as her means of coping with his death… but it was the truth. Takumi could be his own unique person, that much was clear, but Corrin’s heart was unable to make that distinction in a moment like this.

If she was able to save Takumi, she’d be able to save herself, forgive herself.

 

…

 

 

“Corrin, wake up.”

Her heart raced, but her mind was still deep in haze, thinking of those words as the product of her distant dreams. Her body remained stiff in the coldness, but for some reason, her body wasn’t freezing anymore nor was her skin nude against the dry leaves. She was lying on a small bed and fully clothed.

“Wake up.” That voice again, this time more firm and clear, and Corrin felt someone’s soft fingers resting on her forehead and they felt warm against her.

When her eyes finally opened up, Corrin was at loss for words. She thought that she was still dreaming.

The face of another princess was above hers, her big golden eyes posed on her and her long hair locks of blue fell on her face. It was such a crystal-clear image of Azura, she was moved beyond words…

“… Azura?”, Corrin spoke, but was suddenly conscious of how weak her voice was, it was thin as a thread and it hurt. Tears began slipping out of her eyelids, but she could still see Azura’s unmistakable features. “Am I… still alive?”, she asked dumbfounded.

“Yes, you are very much alive.” Azura sighed, removing her fingers from Corrin’s forehead, allowing her to take in the reality of this situation for a little longer.

This couldn’t be true. It had to be a dream. Azura died weeks ago when she fell down the Bottomless Canyon, because Corrin wasn’t there to stop that.

Yet, she was here, wrapped in that familiar aura of silence and gentleness, staring down at Corrin, awaiting her response.

“You’ve got the devil’s own luck.”

At that moment, Corrin started and her head turned to look at the person who said those words. A young nohrian prince with dark blue garments just walked into the tent where she woke up, her eyes and nose couldn’t stop leaking.

“One of our scouts found you passed out below a tree, freezing to death. Most of your wounds were taken care of, but you’ve been sleeping for almost three days. Did you escape on your own from the hoshidans?”

But she didn’t hear him, not when a surge of energy pushed her out of bed and she ran to lock her little brother in her arms.

She needed so bad any physical reassurance that this was not her imagination.

“Leo…” she sobbed, even though there was resistance on his part, she held him very close, in a manner that she haven’t done in years. Corrin was trembling on her bones, so afraid to let go. He was right there in her arms, safe, alive.

His hand on her back tried to pat her with the same affection she expressed, but he was so full of confusion, just as Azura was staring blankly at them from the bed where Corrin used to be.

How long has it been since she last saw Leo? Months, but they felt like years, maybe an eternity… even longer than the time that she’s been apart from Azura.

“Sister, please, it’s starting to get embarrassing. Could you let me go now?” Leo muttered with his usual awkwardness, clearly stiff inside her hug, but Corrin didn’t stop there. She grabbed him his shoulders and looked into his eyes briefly before meeting again Azura at her left.

Corrin’s legs were trembling so much, she didn’t realize.

“I thought that you were both dead! I heard that you fell down the Bottomless Canyon! How did you survive?”

Leo and Azura looked to each other for a silent moment, Leo seemed to let down his impassive mask and furrowed his brows softly.

“We can’t really enter in details about that. Faceless started to attack our troops at the borders and Azura was surrounded… I felt obliged to help her. We both fell, but we came back and that’s all that matters. That, and…”

“And…?”

“We found Gunter too.”

Corrin’s eyes widened in surprise, simultaneously some heavy steps entered the tent along with an old scarred man clad in black armor; the man who had been the closest thing to true father had also disappeared into the depths of the Bottomless Canyon in front of her eyes months ago… yet here he was.

The old knight smiled at her warmly. “Young Lady, it is nice to see you awake.”

Since her reflections on the matter of her kidnapping and subsequent brainwashing at the hands of nohrians, her sentiments about Gunter were complicated, but right now Corrin was only brimming with hope and joy for what was in front of her eyes.

If a part of her inner child still existed within her, it surely manifested the moment she went to embrace Gunter with the same intensity she expressed to Leo.

“I’m so glad to see you again! I can’t believe it…  I…!” She had soon too many come back from the dead in just a few minutes.

Gunter seemed to laugh softly, his hands touched her head. That firm touch would always help her to ground her back to reality whenever she was a desolated child crying in her loneliness. She missed this fatherly comfort.

“Dry your tears, milady. I’m also glad to see you well. Your brother and princess Azura had filled me in about your situation. It’s been awfully distressing to have you out of my watch for such a long time.”

They allowed her to take a break, a few minutes to absorb the fact that all these people didn’t just returned to her life but that they also found her first. She wanted to be happy about this, wanted to indulge in the beautiful scene in which her loved ones have come to save her and still loved her too. It simply was too good to be true.

She laid back on the bed, took a deep breath and closed her eyes, just to open them and confirm that they were still there.

“It’s almost surreal. I thought that all of you were dead” she whispered, her face hurt too much by just smiling.

“Just take your time.” Leo breathed, typically nonchalant.

“… How is Elise?”

“She is fine, but right now she’s way behind the army. I thought about telling her about you, but… now is not the right time.”

Leo leaned closer to her sister, even at this heartwarming moment he looked sickly tired, more than usual anyway.

“Sorry for not being able to rescue you sooner, Sister. Father forbade us from taking any actions about your capture… And trust me, it’s not like we didn’t try. I’m almost certain that Iago has foiled every single attempt we made to send any sort of help. There were almost three months and we couldn’t do anything to help you.”

Corrin could sense his guilt, but she could not think of anything reassuring to tell him, as she was not surprised in the least over hearing this. She knew full well how King Garon felt about her, and Leo was aware of that too.

Besides, there were other pressing matters that Corrin needed to discuss with them, even if they went against the best judgement.

“About that… there’s something important that I need you to know about the time when I was captive, Leo. It’s about someone who was sent by nohrians to kill me.”

Leo sighed, wielding a knowing look “… I’ve heard as much. I’ve sent my retainer Niles to investigate Iago a while ago, discovered that the spineless bastard did send an assassin to finish you off… I would have accused him to Father on the spot, however… ” To this, Corrin arched her eyebrows, realizing the depth of Leo’s troubled expression as he bit his lower lip as his eyes trailed back to Azura, who was silently observing. “I… We have some important things to tell you. About Father.”

It was weird to hear him refer to King Garon as ‘Father’, she had quickly grown out of using that undeserving honor on that man, but Leo’s exposition was dramatically changing all the context as he spoke.

Hearing it wasn’t easy, mostly because his explanation was deliberately limited to a few facts, just enough so Corrin could understand. And it was merely good luck that Corrin already had fixated her opinion on that monster they used to know as their Father, because if she heard of this months before, when she knew nothing about the war and her past, she wouldn’t have believed a single word.

The King Garon they knew, whoever—whatever—he is, was an impostor. Leo explained that he and Azura retrieved a crystal that revealed the truth to them that man’s true form, revealed that the real King Garon, had died a long time ago. Corrin detected how Leo’s voice shrunk upon stating this and a greater grief filled his chest. There was no way that he’d make up something like this, and Corrin’s mental state greatly helped his credibility.

All the fear, the hurt, the cold… and the nohrian royals were forced to swallow it for all these years under the pretense of a father that they no longer had, instead they had a cruel demon that abused a power usurped.

Corrin’s hands were tense the whole time while thinking about this.

“Have you tried to tell any of this to Xander?”

“Corrin, he’s not going to listen. His skull is thick as a stone. Unless we present to him with undeniable proof that Father is not whom he thinks he is, Xander won’t let us lay a finger on him.”

That was true, but Corrin knew that what drove Xander’s loyalty wasn’t just duty alone. After all, he’s been always the closest to the King for all these years, and that definitely affected him more deeply than she could fathom. Xander was one of the men she respected the most in her life, but she wondered if she could maintain that respect now that she’s been exposed to so many ugly truths.

She braced herself for her following words.

“… We’ll have to figure something out later. Right now, there’s another pressing matter I must tell you about. The real reason why I had to run away from the hoshidans: my brother—I mean, Prince Takumi was taken by the Nohrian forces.”

Azura visibly reacted to this. “What?”

“I don’t know what are they planning to do with him, but if they wanted to execute him they’d have done so the moment he was captured…”

Leo’s mouth twisted. “I admit that I received word that Iago was scheming some sort of kidnapping to blackmail the hoshidans… but now that you tell me that they took one of their princes…” He looked disgusted, even more than Azura did for some reason. However, he arched one brow as he gazed back at Corrin pensively. “How did you find out of this?”

“… I heard it from Ryoma’s retinue. I was… allowed some liberties when we were within hoshidan territory. This is aside of the point, Leo, but you should know that despite being their hostage, they still regarded me as a family.”

“And you want to save him?”

“I know it might sound weird given my circumstances, but yes, I _need_ to save Takumi.”

Her nohrian brother looked disconcerted for a solid minute. Azura was sitting on the bed while staring at the ground contemplative, and Gunter simply kept watch on the tent’s entrance, while it was clear that he listened to everything. Corrin knew that she wasn’t making it easier on them.

“I might need you to fill me in about what happened during your captivity later, but I can at least understand why you’d want to do that. But if you truly wish to save that prince’s life, the moment to act is now. Iago will be ruthless and we don’t want to think about what they will do before deciding to execute him publicly or worse.”

Corrin swallowed for one moment. “… Since I’m not a hostage that cannot be exchanged anymore they will probably want to use Takumi to lure out the other siblings into rescuing him.”

“It’s a very basic plan, but still very likely for someone like Iago.”

“He would never let Takumi go for Corrin’s sake anyway, that’s not how he operates.” Azura’s soft voice somehow sounded foreboding with these words. “Then again, I doubt that Ryoma would have agreed to a hostage exchange, so, if that was Iago’s thought process then he knows well what he is doing.”

Corrin nodded. “That’s why we need to save Takumi before Ryoma and the others make their move.”

“Wait, Sister, it’s not that simple”, Leo spoke, his face was already strained and Corrin was prepared to hear his concerns. “Even if we can help you in any way to save Prince Takumi, our hands will be tied if _Father_ decides to punish you. He spared you more than once already… and there is a non-existent chance that he’ll do the same in case that you get caught.”

She had to admit that she never considered the idea of failure, but Leo’s points were extremely valid and even stronger than ever in light of the recent revelations about King Garon.

Leo continued: “Xander or our sisters won’t be there to bail you out and Prince Takumi will surely be executed in one way or another… Now, with the plan I’ve been crafting with Azura, I can’t risk that He turns his eyes on me, so you can’t count me in to save you if everything turns out for the worst; there’s just too much at stake. Do you understand?”

“… Yes, I know.” Corrin nodded again.

He didn’t change greatly in her absence, even if put under stress. Leo had pulled strings underneath to save her before, and he’d certainly keep on doing it if it was for her sake, but now she needed to be prepared for the possibility that he’d fail next time… Leo was trustworthy, but he was not a King. She reached out for him and looked for his hand, even if she knew that he wasn’t the most physical of her siblings.

“Look, whatever you want to do next, just be careful. I don’t want you to drop dead right after we got you back.”

“I’ll make sure to plan carefully, Leo. I’m going to need your help, but I won’t ask you to do the impossible for me.”

“Thank you.” Her younger brother sighed, but he wasn’t anywhere as relieved as she would have wanted.

But her own chest was still throbbing under her clothes, she held back her impulse to touch the fractal scar, as if it tried to remind her why she had to run this far in the first place. Even if everything was for Takumi’s sake, she couldn’t escape from the motives and the feelings that kept burning within her so painfully.

The scar was something she could never run away from.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Admittedly, this was mostly just a plot-chapter. Sorry if I disappointed anyone. Next chapter will be ready next weekend! Thanks a lot for your patience!


	16. Panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot, plot, plot, plot. Please don't get bored.

TAKUMI

Lucidity would come and go, but he never welcomed it. Every time they’d take him out of his cage, he’d just pray that they’d be over with it quickly or allow him to faint to spare him of the humiliation. Every time the day was over, he’d be returned to his cage with his wounds healed.

After days of this cycle of torture, forced in and out of consciousness, he started to notice how his mind lost track of time, how it would start to get harder and harder to grasp reality, more often than before. The realization of it prickled him like the bite of a bug in a bed of needles. Its been happening for a while now but he didn’t notice it until coming face to face with the source of it.

It was _that man._ There was a dark voice on the back of his head, dragging his mind out of him, preying on him after the grueling hours of torment. The voice only liked to probe where it hurt him the most.

Always the same voice, always.

He would be sat somewhere dimly lit while his limbs could barely sustain him under command, and a voice would whisper all kinds of questions... and he would answer all of them without thinking, as if the information was being easily pulled out of him with the same facility one would pull a string out of a dress. The interrogation would be over too quickly, but deep inside his mind he knew that the voice wasn't satisfied yet.

Sometimes the voice would breathe taunts and insults, horrible, hideous things, all just meant to remind him of what he already knew and hated about himself. _“… Truly, what a shameful display. No wonder you're the weakest of your siblings.”_ He had no choice but to absorb all of those hurtful words like a sponge. 

It wasn’t a conscious thought, but he dreaded the moment in which the voice stopped, for he would be forced into sleep, either through the use of painful magic or command. The cycle would resume.

Torture. Sleep. Heal. Wake. Torture. Voice. Torture. Sleep. Heal. Wake. Torture.

He learned the pattern, not that it ever helped him anyway.

Day after day, it was harder to understand what was going on. He knew what they were trying to do to him, but without bruises or broken bones to prove it and with the constant black-outs, it was starting to get hard to believe in his own dreadful reality and fight back. It was starting to feel like one bad dream after another.

He knew what they were doing to him and how they wanted it to break him. And it was working.

…

 

 

CORRIN

There was a sense of foreboding as she waited for the next morning, not knowing how to sleep now that she was so far away from Ryoma and with his brother’s fate pending on the success of her next movement. Her body was unwilling to let her rest, as if electricity ran all over her limbs every time she returned to bed…

Even though Leo helped her devise a rescue plan and was subsequently reunited with Jakob and Felicia, the princess couldn’t stop feeling like she was about to fall apart. While her servants were eager to pamper her and didn’t leave her side for a very long time, not even the warmest tea could shake off that feeling of desolation.

Leo, Azura and Gunter were alive. She’d be able to see her Elise, Camilla and Xander as soon as all of this was over. She was supposed to be happy, hopeful, resolved… but she wasn’t, and she understood why.

The scar sent another jolt across her chest as she forlornly acknowledged the feeling of withdrawal.

When she had to travel alone, even if she kept Ryoma out of her head, she would spend the nights feeling the emptiness and yearning stir within her body, only to have exhaustion make her pass out, otherwise Corrin wouldn’t have slept at all.

Corrin tried one last time to sleep in her tent, her presence within Leo’s army was unnoticed and kept a secret, so nobody who didn’t know of her would come to bother her; yet none of this privacy would help her to sleep.

Instead, she put on some clothes and a hood and walked out of her tent, walk around the camp when most of people were asleep too. There was a gentle song carried by the cold winds in the forest where the troops were stationed, somewhere within Mokushu.

_“In the white light a hand reaches through…”_

Corrin walked barefoot, the soles of her feet were still bandaged after the ordeal of her journey, but she heard the song closer and closer to the border of the camp. She was perfectly aware of what the song was and who sang, and right now she just wanted to come closer, listen to it for a little while.

_“… A double-edged blade cuts your heart in two._

_Waking dreams, fade away, embrace the brand-new day…”_

The figure of the songstress was bathed in her pure white veil, an aura of unnatural calmness bathed her in the middle of the night. Her voice was somewhat more melancholic than what Corrin used to remember. The moonlight made her look like ghost.

Azura stopped her singing and turned around to meet Corrin approaching her. This scene was so reminiscent of their first encounter, but instead of wonder, it carried some sort of bitterness between both princesses.

“Corrin, you look very sick. Shouldn’t you go back to sleep?”

“Sorry, I’m feeling better but I’m also a little overwhelmed. I can’t get rest until I’m sure that Takumi is fine.”

Azura’s dull face seemed to stiffen. “Me too, unfortunately. I haven’t been able to clear my thoughts properly since you told me that he’s been kidnapped.”

She stilled her words for a minute, the night’s shadows disguised the true extent of her expression.

“… I don’t mean to pry, but what happened while you were with your siblings during these past few months?”

“… It’s complicated”, Corrin said.

“Try me.”

“You don’t need to worry about it—”

“Corrin, _please_. Do you remember that I had to wake you up when you came to be? You kept on murmuring Ryoma’s name while you were unconscious… It was bad. If something happened, I want to know.”

Of course, this question was bound to happen. Azura spent all the years Corrin didn’t with the people she was supposed to call her family… It was hard to imagine Azura’s feelings, and Corrin felt terribly selfish for not thinking enough about it.

Corrin sighed and took an small distance from Azura, making evident her discomfort.

“… Can’t keep anything from you, can I? You see, I tried to make amends with them despite being their hostage, and for a few moments they began to treat me like the sister I was meant to be… even Takumi started to warm up.”

“That’s surprising to hear. Even Ryoma…?”

“He was… He is very complicated to explain. I’m sure you must have noticed the scar already.”

“It couldn’t be anything other than Raijinto, I know. I forgot that he did strike you in that encounter.” Azura’s hand rested on her chest involuntarily. “I’ve never seen him so angry before… But it makes sense that he’d rush himself into forgiving you as soon as he had you within his grasp.”

“But he never tried to forgive himself, the fool.” Corrin’s heart shrunk as she said these words. “I must be partly at blame for that.”

“I take it that you bonded with him the most?”

In that moment, Corrin had to repress her urge of biting her lower lip, her face was already filled with unspeakable shame. “It’s hard to say… M-maybe it was just our inability to face our own mistakes”, she muttered.

She didn’t figure out right away until the little trail tickled its way down her chin, tears finally broke through her. Azura seemed intrigued, if not puzzled.

“Corrin… What did you do?”

_Said too much. Too much. Shouldn’t have said that._

Corrin’s back touched the trunk of a tree, as she gasped slowly, feeling the remnants of the despair she experienced in that fateful night. She remembered Takumi crying and rejecting her with a look of anguish in his eyes… It would be the last time she ever saw him.

“I made a terrible mistake, and Takumi has every reason to hate me for it… and because of that, he ran off alone in the middle of the night. Because of me, he might die… He might die hating me”, Corrin sobbed, she embraced herself as if to somehow keep the hurt down.

“Hush…” For one moment, Azura looked genuinely worried, but who wouldn’t be after witnessing an anxiety attack all of sudden? Azura’s hands reached to her shoulders, to hold her still. “We’ll see it that he makes it out alive. I promise you that.”

Corrin breathed making her best attempt at calming down, but the crippling distress would keep on making her whole body tremble. Thousands of dark thoughts traveled like a stream, they intruded and forced their way out of her dry lips.

“… Don’t you hate me too, Azura?”

The songstress slowly took her hands off Corrin, but her face was expressionless. “It may be a fair assumption, but I’m already past that sentiment. For now I’m just glad that you’re back.”

“How can you say that?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Azura, I dragged you into this situation because I was stupid and I couldn’t make the right choice when it came to that. I dragged you here and then abandoned you.” Corrin covered her mouth in disgust with herself.

And then her eyes widened in agonizing realization, as Azura’s golden eyes fixated on hers inside one silent moment.

It all made sense now. It made perfect sense now more than ever.

“You only followed me to Nohr because you knew the truth about Garon all along, didn’t you?”

Azura closed her eyes and sighed, stood unshaken by Corrin’s words. “Yes, I did. But I’m no better than you. In this troublesome path I would make stupid decisions myself, and because of sheer stubbornness I wasted my chance to return to Hoshido with Ryoma and the others, because I so badly wanted to bring down King Garon from within… It was a chance I couldn’t let go… but I also needed you. I may be the heart of the cause, but you are the sword.”

The word ‘sword’ resonated through Corrin like a jolt. She forgot about the Yato, the sacred sword bestowed to her hand, the same hand that forfeited it to weakness. Azura must have kept Yato after all this time… but would Corrin still be worthy of the blade?

That was another thought aside, Corrin’s blood froze at the contemplation of another thought.

“Would you have made me go against King Garon if I didn’t decide to go with Ryoma back then? Would you have shown me the same as you showed to Leo? What if I didn’t believe you? What if I refused?”

“Even if King Garon was still a human being, I wouldn’t be less determined to stop him. You know what he did to you and your family; you know what he’s doing now. I was willing to risk everything just for this chance, because I know how deep this war goes, more than I am able to say. And I wanted to believe that you’d end up making the right choice, no matter what.”

It was clear, Azura saw an opening in Corrin’s naiveté, tried to exploit it for the good in which both believed in. Somehow, Corrin couldn’t bring herself to resent her fellow princess for this, but resented herself in return.

“… Maybe you believed too much in me.”

“I am aware of that. The same I could say about you.” There was a sour note in the blue-haired princess as her bare feet trailed around their tree.

Curious thing, how Azura also preferred being barefoot like her. They were so alike, yet so opposite to each other… Corrin could learn so much from Azura yet.

“Corrin, what are you planning to do after you rescue Takumi? Do you want to return to Hoshido?”

That question was cold in her voice, and despite Azura’s evident bitterness, she made it clear that Corrin still had a final choice in this matter.

It was always about choices.

“I promised Ryoma that I’d take him back home. And I still plan to… but I know that I’m needed here.” Corrin straightened her back, a small strength gathered in her words. She felt like her hands were trembling less now. “I will not abandon anyone ever again.”

…

 

 

RYOMA

It's been ten days. Ten days ever since his family was split once more and lost her for a third time.

It was impossible to keep a cool head during such harsh times, not even meditation managed to take his mind off the trouble, especially since his remaining sisters have been hectic since the moment Corrin escaped.

“We just lost our brother! Now you’re telling me that you sent Corrin off? Hasn’t our family suffered enough?!”

Telling the truth behind his decisions to Hinoka wasn’t easy, and he certainly expected her to react this way. She was out with a searching party for Takumi when Corrin ran away; Hinoka has never been so angry with him in her whole life, and he couldn’t blame her.

Ryoma couldn’t say that he wasn’t angry to himself either. It took a lot of self-restraint and stress-relief to not have another panic attack in the face of this abandonment; he had to be so carefully aware of his own flaws and needed to stand his ground if he didn’t want to give the nohrian invaders a chance to break into Hoshido anymore.

He meditated in his room for hours longer than he usually did, though it was pointless to block away the pain brought by the last memories he had about Takumi and Corrin.

 _Corrin_. That name reverberated inside his head as he looked within his belongings, and he found the blue cape that he kept since the day that she surrendered herself in Macarath. He could still detect her scent in this piece of cloth even though she forfeited the cape that day. Perhaps it was only an illusion created by his mind, for he knew that Corrin’s cape might smell more like him than her at this point; he simply associated the cloth to her scent, he even remembered her salty taste.

He sighed and put the cape back within his possessions, his shame resurfaced by indulging in his lustful thoughts once more.

Ryoma knew he could never forgive himself for all the heinous things he did to her. He certainly didn’t deserve her forgiveness or kindness.

But her promise gave him hope. Kagero did deliver Corrin’s last message to him when he was about to panic. Corrin had promised that she’d return Takumi home. It was such a tiny hope, almost null, but it existed.

Ryoma did send Corrin away with such an idea in mind, but admittedly, he did it more out of despair, because he couldn’t stand being close to her anymore, couldn’t stand to see her suffer because of him.

Corrin deserved better than him, deserved a better man, deserved a better brother.

He failed to be a good brother, failed to keep his family together, failed to uphold his duties and oaths as a high prince… and a friend. Defending Hoshido and wait for Takumi’s return were everything he had left while Nohr’s army was practically knocking at their door.  

After being alone for a prolonged time, he had a night-time visit from Kagero, and she gave her daily report to him while Saizo took over watching duty. Ryoma felt bad for demanding so much of her in the past few days, he wished he could have let her mourn her own loses as well…

“… Where is Hinoka? Is she off again to search for them again?” the prince asked calmly.

The female ninja knelt at an adequate distance from her master, and she nodded. “I’m afraid so. She’s decided to be accompanied by a party of Kinshi Knights this time though. She’s trying to be less reckless, milord.”

“I suppose that it can’t be helped.”

“However, we get notice that she hasn’t yet trespassed our borders in search for them. Nothing else of relevance to report there.”

He pressed his lips together for one moment. “Then… it is safe to assume that Corrin and Takumi might be out of Hoshidan territory?”

“Yes, I presume so, milord.”

Ryoma sighed. Hearing about Hinoka’s recent movements has been all he’s been getting for days, and he prayed every day that she wouldn’t suffer a similar fate as Takumi, or worse. And then there was the dreadful matter of nohrian troops stationing themselves in Mokushu… no doubt that Corrin would be there, also Takumi. He feared that Hinoka would make that assumption as well.

Ryoma made a sign to dismiss Kagero for the night, but even when he stood up and walked towards her, she didn’t move.

It was so strange, she never took this much thinking after an order. In fact, Kagero never hesitated… but she still didn’t leave. In fact, Kagero lifted her head and he noticed.

“Kagero, what is it?”

“… It was my fault, milord.” He could see a soft frown on her pale face.

“Is there something wrong?”

She let out a shaky breath. “—I should’ve stopped him, I should’ve… I have no excuse for my incompetence.” She was stammering, she’s never been like that before. “If only I stopped Lord Takumi from going to that room, nothing of this would’ve happened. I’m… I… I don’t deserve to be your retainer, milord.”

He understood. He understood right away, but his mind jumped out of his head for one small instant, overcome with fearsome rage.

“Why? Kagero, how could you—? Explain yourself!”

Suddenly he found Kagero’s eyes really close to his. Ryoma’s fist was fiercely clutching at her muffler and his arm was shaking, and he stared at Kagero while her eyes were wide but her expression was deliberately held calm. He gritted his teeth and breathed heavily through his nose until he fully understood what he was doing.

As he snapped back to sanity, he released her and she took a few steps back; she wasn’t looking at him anymore, the shame was deeply rooted in her following response.

“… I wanted you and Lady Corrin to stop. I wanted you to learn the consequences of your actions. I… wanted to hurt you in the only way I knew I could. But… I never wanted Lord Takumi to get hurt. I’m not a proper ninja, letting my emotions manipulate me like this!” she gasped, the regret was clearly clinging to her whole frame. “Whatever punishment you believe I deserve, I’ll accept it, milord!”

Ryoma couldn’t look at her anymore. His heart was broken and sore with questions that needn’t an answer. He was to be blamed for the regret born from his most trusted servant’s heart.

This didn’t mean that Kagero’s actions would come without consequences, but he also needed to keep a clear mind, be the fair prince he once wished to become.

 “… You are indefinitely relieved from your duties to me, Kagero. Go to Yukimura to tell him that I’ll remain in Fort Jinya for the time being, until further notice.” He spoke coldly, cold as he could possibly do, but his head was already submerged in a chaotic state.

Kagero didn’t leave yet.

“If I may speak for the last time, please, talk to your sisters, milord! Be there for them, let them be there for you. You need each other now more than ever. I beg of you!”, she breathed, and Ryoma was about to repeat himself, but he stopped his mouth.

The damage was done, and Kagero had nothing else to give, nothing else to hurt. Kagero vanished like dust in the wind, but her words remained: only truth and regret, and she was right: he needed to fall back.

_What a fool you are._

If he could admit his own defeat and weaknesses, he could begin to recover. If he could recover, he could rise to fight stronger. And he still had family left, and as long as he had Sakura and Hinoka, he could always have a place to fall back to.

Corrin had been right: he was just a man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand, I really don't know if my interpretation of Azura is good enough. Honestly, Azura is tough, and makes chapters tough to write.
> 
>  
> 
> **I added a bit of new dialogue in Ryoma's part with Kagero, to explain and develop her character a little further, because I totally missed it last time. Sorry about that.**


	17. Eyes

CORRIN

Leo had revealed the location of Iago’s camp, so meticulously hidden and deliberately apart from Leo’s main army that it left no room for doubt that Iago had a hidden agenda of his own while they were in the country.

The camp was close to a swamp, so the territory was tough to overcome even though it took merely a couple of hours to localize, and everyone who accompanied Corrin ended up with mud and moss up to their knees. And it conveniently helped on Corrin’s case, as she decided that she needed to make a strong impression that could match her rehearsed story, most of which was entirely true.

Corrin, along with Gunter, Jakob and Felicia, stopped someplace hidden and far enough from the camp appointed in their maps, knowing it was their time to separate so they could start doing their part of the plan.

It was a risky move to leave Corrin alone, but they revised their plan dozens of times… Azura also tagged along, even if it was all against everyone’s wishes. She kept on insisting that she could be of help, and while just one couple of helping hand was more than welcome, Corrin was afraid that this would weigh on her at the moment of the truth.

Additional raiders provided by Leo were holding back until further notice, they were meant to surround Iago’s camp without making notice; Corrin was most thankful for Leo’s help, even though she insisted that it wasn’t necessary—more out of modesty than logic, she truly needed backup for this plan to work—.

For one last time, the group went through their preparations for the raid. Azura was particularly caring about Corrin’s well-being, even offered to check her feet for any wounds, but Corrin declined.

“Are you sure that you’re fully prepared? You must be in your best condition for this ordeal.”

“Well, I had to walk non-stop from Hoshido to Mokushu, and I can’t show up all rested-up and fresh like a flower. At least I could convince them that I come tired from such a harsh journey. I should be carrying one sword at least to make believable the fact that I fought my way through. And it’s not like I can show up wielding the Yato at their camp. I cannot bring a weapon that I never had with me in the first place.”

“I’ll be nearby nonetheless in case that something goes wrong.”

“You shouldn’t place yourself in unnecessary danger. That’s why Gunter, Jakob and Felicia are here.”

“Don’t trust in your luck too much, Corrin. You know what is waiting for you in that place. Iago will come up with any excuse to hurt you. Don’t underestimate him.”

 “… I know. Sorry. I’m counting on all of you.”

There was a small foreboding throb on her chest. She had to be ready for the possibility of failure. She had to be ready to fight for her life, fight for Takumi’s sake. There was no turning back.

…

 

 

“Lady Corrin, what a surprise to see you out of captivity. Your siblings will be most pleased to know you made it in one piece.”

The brutes that grabbed her from her dirty shirt let go of her, even if she identified herself to them right after they spotted her walking among the trees, she was surprised that she wasn’t attacked first. It didn’t sit right to her for some reason.

Upon arriving into the well-established camp, she noticed that it wasn’t a large force like Leo’s, and all the soldiers on sight didn’t strike her as anything more than ruthless, either hardened criminals or corrupt aristocrats educated on the art of warring.

There was also some sort of undistinguishable musky odor on the air. Strangely so, it wasn’t anything she could identify despite feeling like she smelled it before, she wasn’t even sure if it was supposed to be motive of alert or just it was only natural… perhaps it was merely Iago’s dreadful presence?

It was no secret that Iago hated her guts, and she couldn’t guess what did she ever do to him to deserve such resentment… but it only made sense that King Garon would chose such a cruel and evil man for the job.

He was a tall pale man always ornamented with that golden mask and halo over his head. Iago took pride of his noble status and obviously thought highly of himself, especially now that Corrin stood before him merely in rags.

She didn’t like to be in such a striking contrast against him, she almost felt helpless and had her heart beating faster as she noted that thin smile crossing Iago’s lips. In this moment it seemed as if she was completely at his mercy.

“You seem awfully content to meet me again. I think I’d appreciate some of your cooperation so I can get back in track. Iago.”

“Of course, of course… You are most welcome to join our barracks for the time being until we can send you back home with your tail between your legs.” His voice was so disgustingly condescending, but he stepped aside as if to welcome her in, however, another couple of brigands grabbed her shoulders once more. “But, first things first, Princess: your weapons.”

She yielded, taking out the small sword she carried for this occasion only, giving it to the brutes, but they didn’t stop there as they started to feel her clothes in search for more.

“What’s with the caution? We’re on the same side.”

“Ah, you see, this is the second time you return from those despicable hoshidans, and not to mention, your blood family. We’re within our rights to be suspicious on you, Princess Corrin.”

“I fought my way out of there, but… I suppose that I can’t question your preventive measures.”

Again, no matter how well they searched through her body, they wouldn’t find her dragonstone, unsuspiciously hidden. Iago was a keen despicable man, but she could find her own way to overcome him in case that he wanted to hurt her. Felicia, Jakob and Gunter along Leo’s soldiers should find an opening to infiltrate to the camp once she gave her sign.

The brutes were not even done searching her clothes and Iago spoke:

“Oh, and in case that you needed to know, the hoshidan prince is currently being held in that tent at the bottom.”

She couldn’t help but to flinch a little. “What?”

“Lady Corrin, please don’t insult my intelligence; I know that you’re aware that we’re the ones who captured the young prince. There’s no other reason why you’d come to find my troops so casually. Too much of an incredible coincidence, if you ask me. Could it be that your hoshidan family sent you here for that purpose alone?”

_Play it cool, don’t fall for his trap._

“I have heard of the disappearance of the prince, so I used the chaos of their army to escape. Think what you must, I obviously couldn’t let that golden chance go to waste… But somehow, I’m not surprised that it was you of all people who captured Prince Takumi.”

“I feel flattered, Milady”, the dark sorcerer laughed. “But surely you don’t expect me to believe so easily in your claims.”

“What makes you think that I’d like to help the people who kept me prisoner for months? Your men must’ve seen the scar I bear already. If I had any love left for them, it’s all gone now. You can have my word on that.”

She had to be thankful for the dirt on her face, it helped to obscure the flaws in her performance before him. She had practiced these lines many times since yesterday, and she surprised even herself with her cold tone.

Iago raised one eyebrow. “Is that so?”

“… Why’d you kidnap him though? It surely wasn’t meant to trade me for him, was it?” Corrin answered, once the brigands stopped fondling her body in search for hidden weapons. _Glad that’s over_ , it took a lot of self-restraint to not smack those barbarians for all the inappropriate touching.

“Well, the idea lost its purpose when you stepped into our camp safe and sound, but now that gives our side the upper hand, does it not?” He was lying, but she made no evidence of wanting to call him out.

“It’d be unlikely for you to use him as a hostage to make Hoshido surrender their territory, so I’m just going to assume that you plan on doing something else?” She walked at a careful distance from the sorcerer. “Maybe you’re planning to use him to bait the other siblings?”

“Perhaps you thought of it during your long walk, Princess?”

“I have thought of plenty of things, alright”, Corrin muttered coldly, tried to hide the fact that her eyes were turning everywhere in search of the tent where Takumi was supposedly held.

The dread of meeting her brother Takumi again was making her stomach twine, but she stilled the tremors in her body. She needed to find him and then make the sign for the attack.

She felt unnerved every time that Iago laughed and stared at her as she hopelessly followed him where he wanted to go. And she didn’t feel comfortable with how the soldiers in his camp eyed her either… It wouldn’t surprise her if Iago hand-picked them for the sole purpose of acting on his twisted methods.

“If there’s anything you want to get off your chest, now might be your chance. Feel free to visit him anytime, Princess. Although I can’t guarantee that he’ll do much of a conversation. Our men really did a number on him last night, and I assure you, it isn’t a pretty sight for someone of your… status. But as I said: feel free to visit the rascal anytime.”

She clearly underestimated the power of his taunting words as they chilled her down to the bone. The inside of that tent was completely dark and Corrin’s heart started racing when the intense foul smell hit her nostrils. There were many distinct smells she could identify in the thick air, but dared not to name.

Corrin walked into the tent, there was only one person inside at the center, apparently restrained to the pole that held the tent up. The smell was noxiously strong. The person was bent with their face down on the ground in an awkward position.

From the get-go she knew that this wouldn’t be easy to look at, but there was something else to it that was making Corrin’s heart sink into her stomach, a nausea rising up to her gullet with every new detail she perceived.

Lumped on the ground like a lifeless doll, there he was. His clothes were in filthy rags, his once beautiful long hair had been carelessly hacked short, the uncovered skin of his arms and legs looked so filthy, crusty and… and there was also that striking raw scent that made her feel sick for knowing exactly what it was.

“… Takumi”, a breathless whisper escaped her lips, the blood left her face. “Gods, what have they done to you…?”

She thought she was prepared to see this, but she was wrong. She always handled her emotions poorly, as she found herself wanting to reach for that poor tattered prince, momentarily forgetting about Iago.

One of his eyes seemed open, unfocused, but when she approached, that one eye darted towards her.

His body flinched, Corrin’s fingertips brushed off her brother’s face the uneven locks of hair, and she could’ve believed that the prince aged years since they last met, never seen him with that uneven stubble either. His eyes looked so red and turbid… those eyes knew exactly who she was and somehow they daunted her.

He cringed again, raising his arm violently to hit her and she naturally backed away. Corrin received a blow on her nose that stunned her briefly, but she was left more surprised than hurt.

Takumi wasn’t restrained anywhere.

Takumi seemed to be moving his thin lips, his voice was a strangled sound and his words were hard to understand, but as she started to take her distance, his voice grew louder, guttural.

“… Traitor, murderer, whore, traitor, liar, traitor, whore…!”

He lifted his head and his eyes were so red, filled with palpable hatred.

And his arms moved very fast, Corrin was caught off-guard by it. A small bow and an arrow. They have been concealed under his body and he used them so fast that she didn’t realize an arrow was sticking out of her right shoulder, just above her clavicle. If she didn’t move, that arrow could surely have pierced her neck.

Corrin was frozen in disbelief. Takumi slowly picked himself up, even though it was obvious that his legs were weak and couldn’t stand properly, one of his legs was bent in a weird angle. Yet, his moves were so sudden and forced and he kept on murmuring those hateful prayers directed to her…

“Takumi, please, you’re badly hurt! Please stop moving at once!” Corrin called out, but to no avail: the hoshidan prince didn’t respond, as if he was in trance.

She gritted her teeth and rapidly turned to the tent’s entrance, now guarded by armed soldiers and the wicked sorcerer who wore a satisfied grin. Forcefully she yanked out the arrow from her shoulder and threw it at them in spite. _That bastard…!_

“IAGO, WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?!”, Corrin roared, before sensing Takumi’s next move.

“Me? I’ve done nothing out of the ordinary. Your hoshidan captors let you wander around without handcuffs for a while, didn’t they?”

She listened to Iago’s playfully venomous words, even though her whole attention was centered on disarming Takumi, but he kept on surprising her, even going as far as tackling her when she broke the bow given to him. That impact made her lose her breath for an instant, and she feared struggling too much and hurting him as a result, her hands were holding Takumi back and she could feel how thin his shoulders were. From where did all this strength come?

“Your little ‘brother’ has also shared a good amount of interesting gossip about you and prince Ryoma. Ooh, and to think that you were raised to be a better princess than that. You should be ashamed!”

Her mind was racing and her blood boiling, she tried to repress the sudden sickness when Iago spoke of that. He definitely forced Takumi to tell him everything…

She could turn into a dragon now and tear Iago apart, but Takumi wouldn’t stop attacking her, and his hand grabbed a discarded arrow and lunged into her in an attempt to stab her. Corrin knew that she needed to defend herself, but the shock of Iago’s words staggered her with anxiety and shame and Takumi violently pushed her to the ground.

Her hand stopped her brother’s wrist from plunging that arrow into her face, she was still astounded with his physical strength, so unlikely for that skinny body. When her own strength started to waver, she called him out once more.

“Takumi! Please, snap out of it! TAKUMI!”

But if he listened to her, he didn’t seem to show a glint of care in his eyes. All he had was the same loathing that she saw that night at Fort Jinya. It was as if a spell froze him in that state until this day.

“You destroyed everything! You betrayed everything…! Unforgivable…!” he growled on her face, spit and blood trickled on her face as she struggled to take that arrow away from his hand. “Die Die Die Die Die die die die die die diediediedie…!”

He kept pressing against Corrin, and she found herself faltering under his potent hatred and all her sins coming back to bite at her, weighing her arms down slowly, slowly…

Suddenly, the whole world was red. A head-splitting pain buried its tip in her and all her nerves started to screech in unison.

She screamed.

Her whole body jerked and inadvertently shoved Takumi away as the right side of her face pulsed angrily. Her mind was pouring all over that sharp pain that she could barely understand what just happened… she couldn’t see anything. Corrin’s hands were shaking violently when they reached to the arrow protruding from her face, and with a distressing yelp, she quickly plucked out the object. She nearly fainted because of the pain.

And despite bleeding profusely, half-blind, barely able to crawl on the ground, her hearing was perfectly fine. For that, she wished she was unconscious when she heard Iago laugh at her back.

“Now this will be some tragic news to deliver to your royal siblings! She wasn’t only raped by her older brother in Hoshido, but also brutalized by the younger one. This will surely spark a violent fire within them, enough to bring this war to a swift bloody end. Such a shame though, I would have loved to see the hoshidan royals horrified faces upon seeing their youngest prince betray them.”

Corrin was about to snap back at the sorcerer, but was promptly pulled from her hair and then shoved into the ground on her back again. Takumi sat on her stomach and started to strangle her whilst endlessly reciting those murderous words.

And Iago just kept on going. “It’s pointless to struggle, so please just take death as quick as possible, princess.”

“N-no… Takumi… Brother…!” she cried with the last will-power she had, trying to stop his hands from crushing her throat. She could barely see him, her right eye was filled with blood and the left with tears…

She couldn’t see him at all in there.

But her hearing was perfectly fine, she remembered. Her ears weren’t lying to her when she noticed the disturbance building up outside the tent. “Sir! Raiders broke into our lines! They’re setting our camp on fire!”, she heard.

“What? Seize them! Put out the fire at once! Prince Takumi, finish her off, quickly!”, Iago snarled. But Corrin heard the sound of men screaming in agony, the familiar sound of war and death she loathed so much.

Her brother’s hands stiffened around her neck with the intent of breaking her, they were impressively strong and she was in the brink of death… In one last spurt of willpower, Corrin dug her fingernails on Takumi’s wrists, and slowly pulled his hands off her throat.

Her head was burning up for the overwork and the hurt, but she was tired of all of this. She was so tired of letting so many things hurt her and expecting every drop of blood she bled to fix every mistake she made. Even if Takumi was hurt because of her, letting him kill her wouldn’t fix anything.

“Lady Corrin! LADY CORRIN!” she heard Felicia’s voice yell from afar. Her retainers probably charged in when they realized that it took her too long to make the signal.

Corrin couldn’t let them think ahead of themselves and attack Takumi, so, clenching her jaw, she raised her knee and kicked her brother off her. She feared hurting him again, but she had no other choice.

Fortunately, she didn’t kick him too far, as it didn’t take her long to find him with her hands despite being visually impaired. He immediately recoiled, but at that moment he didn’t attack her. He was heaving and his body shaking when her fingers touched his back… it could almost feel like he was sobbing.

“What are you doing? Kill her now!” Iago exclaimed, and upon his command, Corrin felt Takumi’s hand grabbing her neck again with that intent, but she didn’t let him choke her even if it took all of her might to stop it.

She was barely hanging in there, with the searing headache and the difficulty to breathe, Corrin knew it’d be just a matter of time before she ran out of options.

“Takumi… you need to stop this. You’re not like this… Fight back, Takumi, I know that you must be in there somewhere!”

Takumi’s mouth was trembling; for a moment, he sounded vulnerable. “Shut up… SHUT UP!”

Corrin felt like Iago was readying another command, but instead she heard the sorcerer cry out in pain as the sound of the heavy bodies of his guards fell down; in the midst of the pandemonium outside the tent, a contrasting sweet tune caught Corrin’s attention, such a beautiful song that it even made Takumi’s grip on her neck to loosen up.

_“… You are the ocean’s gray waves destined to seek life the shore just out of reach…”_

The songstress appeared, probably responsible of striking down Iago. And though Corrin’s sight was reduced to a heavy blur, she was able to detect the orange light of the fire staining the back of Azura’s dress while her chest was filled with a mystic blue light as her crystalline voice expanded in the air like a soothing rain.

Corrin remembered that Azura’s pendant was linked to the special properties of her song… and it suddenly made so much sense that the same song that managed to tranquilize a raging dragon would also pacify the tortured prince.

In that moment, Corrin felt how her brother started to withdraw his weight from her. “… W-what is this? Why…” his murmurs were barely audible, Corrin couldn’t discern the expression in his face as his eyes met her.

“Oh no, Takumi, Corrin…” Azura rushed to her side, and Corrin sighed when her friend gently touched her shoulders, even if Azura was far from calm. “This… this blood…! Corrin, how did this happen?”

Azura should have made the connection by now. With Takumi under a spell and the blood in his hands while he nearly choked Corrin, it was obvious. Azura said no more.

But the moment Azura went to pick up Takumi’s half-conscious body, Corrin got up on her own as the fury that has been seeping through her returned to its normal flow. She would be pushing her body too far if she transformed while being so badly wounded, but she’d been also waiting to unleash it since she entered this camp.

“Azura… Please take Takumi away and run from this place. Do you know where is Iago?”

“You’re in no condition to fight—!”

“Where is he?” she repeated, her voice had grown coarse and angrier, but it was not rage directed to Azura.

He needed to pay for what he’s done to Takumi and to her and to all the lives that he ruined. He needed to pay it dearly.

In that instant, Azura nestled the young prince in her arms with a pained look. Takumi seemed so fragile in contrast with someone already so delicate-looking like Azura, it twisted Corrin’s stomach; and then the songstress spoke: “… He shouldn’t be far, I stabbed him with my lance when I arrived.”

“Thanks.”

Azura was right for being worried, but she understood Corrin’s rage better than anyone, because she too cared about Takumi… perhaps even deeper than what she let show.

The dragon was unleashed, and for a moment the wrath numbed the physical pain. As a dragon, her wounds burdened her less—or perhaps it was only the feeling of euphoria of being free to fight after such a harrowing trial—; she was more than willing to overlook any wound until she could destroy that sorcerer. She roared and violently struck down a number of nohrian soldiers that had the audacity of trying to stop her in her current state.

Nobody would sway her, nothing would stop her from delivering Iago his punishment.

The sorcerer, pathetic and bleeding from his side, had managed to drag himself to the chaotic camp’s border, too gravely injured to use a magic tome to fight back.

Many men were making a run, other stayed to put out the fires just to be taken by surprise by Gunter on his horse. It could hardly be called a fair fight, and in any other day Corrin would have felt sorry for these soldiers… but she couldn’t know how many of them took part in Takumi’s torment.

Iago rose his shaky finger to the dragon she became. That same finger could have been laid on Takumi as well.

“YOU FILTHY WRETCH! KING GARON WILL KNOW OF THIS! YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS SHALL BE GIVEN NO MERCY!”

She didn’t care about what this man had to say anymore, his words were nothing but poison and she wouldn’t have any of that anymore. It was all noise and she hated it. He attempted to crawl faster, but her claws pinned him to the ground with animalistic brutality. She hated his voice so much, even if it was crying.

“STOP! NO, PLEASE DON’T KILL ME. NO! FORGIVE, PLEASE, FORGIVE ME!”

In her life, she’s never seen a man so scared before.

When her immense jaws closed around the man’s neck, the noise died down.

Her mind blacked out for a few moments after that crunching sound inside her jaws, until she realized that she was no longer a dragon, but her body was covered in blood. She could feel so many eyes on her, and her retainers finally came after her, Jakob and Felicia looked particularly horrified as they stared at Corrin.

The princess barely realized what she just did, but she spent all her remaining energy on it… she finally fainted on top of that mangled corpse, barely aware that it was all her doing.

She fainted, and suddenly everything felt so cold around her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, the excuse this time for taking so long to finish this chapter was the fact that I had a hell of a writer's block and it was also very emotionally exhausting to write, not to mention that I had to make a lot of last-minute changes. I'm sorry about that.  
> As for the next chapter, I'm not sure if I'll be able to finish it this weekend, so I'll have to move it until next week, so I can have a lot more time to organize the rest of the story and I can take a little break from this one and can focus on college too.
> 
> Again, I thank you for your patience and your feedback. I wouldn't do any of this without you.


	18. Hollow

CORRIN

It took her a while to finally differentiate between dreams and consciousness, stuck in a limbo of stillness. She could also sniff the conspicuous scent of medicine in the air. Upon regaining her sense of self, she noticed heaviness on her chest; it was so constricted, as if she was tightly bandaged.

A person was also close, their steps small and constantly running around her. Corrin could barely see anything except for the dim light of morning expanding within a ample stone room. The bed was very soft and her injured head sunk comfortably on the large pillow. She hadn’t been able to sleep on one like these since her days in the Northern Fortress, back in Nohr.

Suddenly, the little steps stopped, as Corrin identified the face of a young girl looming close to her. It took her one second to recognize her, but not as fast as the girl lunged her arms around Corrin, locking her in an almost deadly grip.

“You’re finally awake! I’m so glad, I’m so so _so_ glad! I was so afraid, Big Sister!” the girl sobbed, her little face snuggled against Corrin’s chest, she could only make out those blonde pigtails sprawled on the bed’s white sheets. Corrin couldn’t see very well.

“E…lise?” Corrin gasped, she wanted also to put her own arms around her dear little sister, but it was hard to move, as if her limbs were suddenly four times heavier, not to mention that they really hurt to the touch. “Ow, ow…”

Abruptly, Elise stopped holding her so tightly, and then lifted her head to wipe those tears on her little pink face. She looked as bright and beautiful as ever, even if only just overwhelmed with emotion, all things considered. Corrin had missed seeing that little sunshine that Elise’s presence embodied.

“Sorry, you must still be in a lot of pain, even if we closed your worst wounds. But I’m just so glad to be able to see you again, to hold you again!” The little nohrian princess snuggled again with Corrin, with that clinginess befitting of a child. “Please, please don’t ever go away!”

She missed Elise so much. They must’ve been the most mortifying months Elise had to live through, to keep on living with the knowledge that Corrin had to sacrifice her own freedom for her sake. Corrin was at blame for Elise’s suffering, but it couldn’t have been helped.

Corrin sighed deeply, letting her soul be soaked in by that sadness. But for some reason, tears wouldn’t come out…

“I’ll be right here, Elise. I’m so glad that I get to hold you again too”, Corrin whispered softly, her hand had enough strength to find her sister’s shoulder and grasp it reassuringly.

They laid on bed like that for a while until Corrin slowly recovered more control on her senses and started to notice that half of her face was heavily patched, which explained why couldn’t she see so well.

Little by little, the last memories before ending up here started to unravel within her each recalled wound more mortifying than the last… a snaring sense of foreboding blossomed in her until it became evident even for Elise that something wasn’t right.

“Sister… there’s also another thing I have to tell you about.”

“… It’s my right eye, isn’t it?”

“I couldn’t salvage it, I’m so sorry!  I tried, I really tried, Sister! But I couldn’t do it!” Elise’s hands clenched the bed’s sheets, her voice was broken with frustration. “Nobody could.”

“… You patched me up as best as you could, and that’s all that matters to me. I cannot thank you enough for your hard work, my dear Elise. I’ll… I’ll be fine.” She moved a little in order to place a tender kiss on Elise’s forehead, just as she always has done. “I missed you so much, I’m so sorry that I had to be apart from you again. But I know that you’ve been strong, and I’m very proud of you.”

She realized it then how much she missed the feeling of physical affection, and forgot how it came so naturally between her and Elise… And then she wondered if this was how a family was meant to feel like. In her heart, Corrin knew that it was true, however…

For a moment, she her body remembered someone’s weight too, remembered the reason of her wounds, remembered the promise she made with her own words. The conflict between painful regret and recycle of forgiveness made her lift her head weakly as she held the soft hand of her little sister, which contrasted with the roughness of hers.

Vaguely, Corrin wondered if Elise knew the true cause of her injuries.

“Elise… how’s Takumi?”

The young princess tilted her head and opened her eyes as if she realized that she forgot something.

“… Oh! I, well, he seemed badly hurt at first but… we don’t really know the extent of the damage. He doesn’t let anyone touch him. This might sound weird, but from what little I could see, there were signs that he was healed by magic recently too. Still, he was walking weird and couldn't sit normally, so I think that he might have something broken after all… But he’d only let Sister Azura come near him. He didn’t lash out at her like the others.”

Corrin tensed her mouth, thinking about how bad he looked when she found him, couldn’t even imagine the extent of the damage. “Let me go talk to her…”

Immediately, Elise jumped out of bed and extended her arms once Corrin managed to sit on the border with some difficulty. Her head was still a little dizzy and it also felt strangely empty.

“Alright! Last time, Azura went to visit him in his room, so let’s go visit him as well! You can support your weight on me!”

“I’m—Elise, I’m too heavy for you!”

“No problem! I got freakishly strong in the last few months!”

“Have you been lifting weights?”, Corrin asked jokingly.

“More like sprinting like crazy! Also, I’ve been studying really hard because Leo has been teaching me some more about tomes and I’m getting good… I think!”

Corrin kept on listening to her little sister as they walked together outside the room she woke in, and Elise informed to her that she’s been asleep for almost two days, also revealing that Leo only told her half of the story, in which the evil Iago was responsible of all the bad things that happened. Corrin somehow expected Leo to spare their little sister from the harshness of that terrible truth, but also wondered if it was the right thing to keep her out of this as well, after all, Elise was as naïve as can be.

Upon further inspection of her surroundings, Corrin noticed that they were inside a very old military fortress; some nohrian-looking soldiers passed near the princesses and eyed her with disbelief. She knew better than to expect them to welcome her back with open arms to the army, even though she wasn’t willing to partake in another battle again. She couldn’t tell Elise anything about it, not now.

In the fortress there was a small prison ward and she felt her blood freeze on the realization that this was where they put Takumi of all places. Of course, it’d make sense since he belonged to Hoshido and they didn’t know if he posed a threat.

_But he is wounded! How could they place him inside a prison cell when he is like that?_

Elise stopped in front of the wooden door of that cell, two guards were stationed outside and revered a gentle bow to the princess, and just now they happened to see Azura open it and come out from there, surprising her.

For a couple of seconds, Corrin didn’t know what to say, because she could Azura’s eyes were examining with quiet awe her bandaged face. Her silence said everything. Even Elise was stuck between the uncomfortable silence.

Corrin swallowed before speaking. “Azura, how is he?” Instantly, her friend looked down.

“… Not very good, I’m afraid. I convinced him to use the water to clean himself and change his clothes, but he’s still silent and doesn’t want to tell me where he is hurt. Questioning him further wouldn’t do any good.”

“Well, would you give this to him next time you come by?” Elise excused herself and pulled out from her dress’ pockets a small vial, nearly dropped it because of her rushed hand. “I concocted this elixir for him this morning, so he’ll probably feel a lot better after he drinks it!… Just don’t tell him that I made it, because I feel like he’s going to throw it away if he knows!”

“I’ll make sure that he takes all of it, thank you, Elise.” Azura smiled as she took the vial. “Elise, may I have a private word with Corrin?”

The moment of her request made Elise turn and give to Corrin an inquisitive stare, and to this, Corrin nodded to her in a comforting way, telling her that it was okay to leave her alone. Normally, Elise would insist to stay at her side, but she understood their need for privacy right away and thus, hugged Corrin again before parting ways.

Azura led the way when they walked together away from the prison ward to a more secluded part in the fortress, larger than Corrin thought. It was obviously made by nohrian architects, but she knew that they were still somewhere within Mokushu, and all of the guards and soldiers she met until now were from Leo’s army…

There was a moment of adjustment from the pain of moving her injured body after just waking up, her head and limbs resented the effort, but finally, Azura, with a brooding expression she spoke:

“I know what they did to Takumi, but I didn’t want to say it in front of Elise. Even if we manage to heal all his physical wounds, I don’t know how he’ll cope with the damage they’ve done to his pride, his mind. He refuses to sleep, can hardly eat… Only with my song, I can make him drop his guard, even if just for a while… It’s really hard.”

Those unforgiving words caused a chill run down her spine, as if promptly a carelessly hidden fear sprung out of its box, the confirmation of something that she already knew but was too afraid to admit it was real.

“What happened to him back there? Was he under some sort of spell?”

“He was being possessed by… _something_ , but I suspect that this evil was sowed within Takumi long before he was even caught. Possibly his captivity caused it to flourish. I managed to rid him of this _thing_ with my song, before it could start to destroy his body. But I don’t know if I can confidently say that I managed to save him in time… I really don’t know.”

“He has to be fine, I saw a semblance of his true self in that moment. He has to be fine.”

Corrin instinctively placed her hand on her neck, where she was sure she had bruises from that time, and his hateful words resonated in her mind. _Traitor. Murderer. Whore._ She wondered if part of his true self really meant to say that.

“Are you alright?”, Azura asked.

“Yes, I’m fine.”

But Azura wasn’t satisfied by this. “You really lost your right eye in that encounter.”

Her shoulders tensed. “… It was Iago who made him do it.”

“I know.”

“Please, don’t tell this to anyone.”

“I won’t. I want to protect him just as much as you do… But would you please also take care of yourself too? You shouldn’t be out of bed and I can guess that you haven’t eaten since the day we raided Iago’s camp.” Azura was being austere, but this was how she’d make her words get through Corrin’s head. “Don’t make me look out for you at the same time that I need to look out for him, please.”

“Sorry, sorry… I’ll try.” Corrin shook her head apologetically, and then tried to relax her muscles and her breathe, even if just thinking about Takumi was making her anxious. “Do you think it’d be okay if I visit him soon?”

“I think that you should wait for a little while, but there’s no guarantee that he’ll react well after what he's been through. I know that my presence doesn’t make him happy either.”

“Then why are you the only one who can come near him?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because he knows that he doesn’t have much choice.”

“You’re the only one that he knows the best; he probably trusts you, even if he doesn’t want to admit it.”

“Perhaps.”

Azura's melancholic voice fell silent for a while after that, pensively staring down as her hands fidgeted on the delicate fabric of her white dress. Her dress was a little ragged from use and if Corrin paid attention with her only eye, she could see the brown stains of dry blood on Azura’s clothes. She probably hasn’t washed her clothes for days.

“Do you think that you can handle Takumi?” Corrin asked quietly.

“… It’s not easy, knowing what they did to him”, she sighed. Azura closed her eyes, as if holding back her emotions was suddenly very difficult. Water drops started to slip below her eyelashes, ans Corrin understood how deeply Azura’s heart broke. “Of all people, why did it have to happen to him? He’s still too young.”

This had to be the second time that Corrin watched Azura cry since the day that Queen Mikoto died.

She had forgotten that for all those years she was absent, Azura has been like a sister to the hoshidan royals. It made a lot of sense that Azura would feel so affected by what happened to Takumi. It was Azura who watched him grow up, who took the role of big sister while Corrin grew up with a completely different family.

Corrin found herself jealous of Azura’s genuine attachment and care, for when it came to Takumi, Corrin realized that the only things that tied her heart to him were the guilt, the pity and her wish for penance. She couldn’t know if anything that she felt for Takumi were more than just the shadows of her regret, because her conscience was all she had to offer to her hoshidan siblings. Repentance has always been the basis of their relationship.

Was that all there was to it? Was Takumi just her means for redemption for all the bad things that she’s done?

She never thought about it much, but now that she was faced with these questions, she wondered if it was truly a good idea to visit him at all.

…

 

 

Days slowly passed by and Elise would to check on her wounds, making her recovery go as smoothly as possible. Even if most of her wounds were completely healed, her head occasionally pounded at the absence of her right eye and it was a nightmare to grow used to walk around with only one eye. And every time it throbbed, she thought of Takumi.

No matter if Iago used some sort of brainwashing, it was Takumi’s hand which stabbed her eye with an arrow. Just remembering how that scene played out, how her strength faltered in one single moment, the pain and the fear ghosted through her head and down to her spine.

She finally gathered the fortitude of going to see him, even if it was certain that nothing good would come out of it, because Azura herself said that she didn’t have any luck making him open up.

According to Azura, he wouldn’t talk at all but would let her approach him in order to feed him and treat his wounds; Azura also mentioned that she’d put sleeping drugs in his food in order to let the healers enter the cell and do their work. Apparently, one of his legs was left broken and that was the cause of why he couldn’t walk or sit properly.

When she entered to his cell, she was pleasantly surprised with how bright and clean it was, it could hardly be called a prisoner cell; however, the smell of blood and medicine were still poignant.

He was right there, asleep on the sheets, curled up inside that bed of sharp scents, a husk of the young man he was supposed to be.

His neck and shoulder looked so skinny, and his head looked so nude without his long hair, and his breathing was so stifle, it just made the damage the more evident.

Corrin couldn’t help but to feel nauseous when the thoughts of all the things Takumi was possibly put through intruded her mind, even when she tried so hard to keep them away. But how couldn’t she? She didn’t know how to think about it, how to approach it, how to accept it. Her shoulders were stiff by just looking at him pitched there, lying in fetal position, just a shadow of that proud archer that she knew, even admired…

Was he truly gone? Or was it just her biased mind telling her that such an ordeal had inevitably transformed him into a different person? Perhaps she was just afraid that she’d be unable to keep her promise to Ryoma, as bringing back Takumi destroyed like this was far from a victory.

But what’d happen from now and on? Could she possibly take Takumi back home in spite of everything? Or could she keep him here after all that happened? Once again, she felt like there was no right choice.

Corrin stayed for a while, until she grew tired of observing and simply extended her hand to touch his arm, but right then, Takumi winced away, shrinking further into the bedsheets. For how long he’s been awake?

“Takumi, my brother…”, she whispered in a sweet tone, trying again to reach out.

He suddenly jerked… actually, it was just his arm which jerked and slapped Corrin’s hand before she could touch his head. He was heaving under the sheets, contempt was apparent through his seething.

Even if she couldn't take a look at his face, she understood the message perfectly, even if it stung her heart.

She smirked bitterly, just for herself, over her own pathetic attempt at giving him any reassurance as a sisterly figure. In her delusion, she completely forgot that she lost her right to call him her 'brother' the night that she admitted her true feelings for Ryoma, the night that Takumi witnessed the full extent of that depravity and much worse.

“Forgive me. If only I knew that anything of this would have happened, I would have backed away, for everything that I’ve done and haven’t done has caused you so much pain. Some Big Sister I turned out to be…”

Her words felt hollow within her chest, she just said them because she thought Takumi would have wanted to hear them… Anything would do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this chapter is a little short, but I hope it suffices for now. I'll try to post the next chapter in 7-8 days.


	19. Selfish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added new tags and modified the summary so I don't end up tricking people into believing that this is going to be constantly about Ryoma/Corrin, because it's not. I don't want to disappoint anyone, but that's what it is.

CORRIN

“You overdid it, Corrin. Disguising bite and claw marks of a dragon is nearly impossible, so we had to burn the bodies in order to erase any traces of you taking part in their deaths.”

She’s never seen Leo so upset before, not nearly as angry as she would have expected him, but still, he urged her to meet him in his private quarters when they encountered each other for the first since setting their rescue plan in motion.

Corrin had known that Leo’s been busy with his personal forces in a special mission… and Corrin’s guesses were proven right the moment her little brother called her out on it. While she’s been passed out due her injuries, he’s been busy doing the dirty work, and she felt terrible for letting him handle all of this alone.

“… Not that we had any other choice, if we wanted to hide your presence from Father—I mean, The Impostor, we had to search and kill every single soldier from Iago’s troop. If there was one small chance of one single survivor slipping away from us, we’re done for.”

“I’m sorry for forcing your to do this”, she whispered, her hand reached to touch her brother’s face, but he gently rejected it.

“No! I was ready to do something like this… Besides, Iago has been asking for it for quite a while. His kidnapping and torturing of Prince Takumi was a disgrace for Nohr and its army… and I only wish I had killed the man myself, long ago.”

It was not a secret that Leo and her other siblings harbored strong regrets towards Iago—dating back from the days in which the nohrian family suffered from its own little war inside the court—, everyone for different and similar reasons, and so, Corrin was unfazed with his words.

She sighed heavily and tried to add to the conversation, but suddenly felt dizzy due the overstimulation from only using her left eye all the time; colors have changed and shapes she saw didn’t match anymore with what she felt. Leo noticed it right away and made her sit on one of his chamber’s chairs. Corrin remained like this with Leo for a while… 

“You know that my retainer Niles is one-eyed too, don’t you? He is willing to help you out if you ask, but he also said that one must grow accustomed to their disability on their own, because each person should work around it differently…”

“That’s surprisingly kind of him… but he’s right: I have to get used to this on my own, no matter how hard it is.” She was afraid of saying out loud that she wouldn’t stand one day under Niles’ teasing, especially not when she was so sensitive, but everything she said was also true: she didn’t want to be a burden anymore, especially now that she recently lost half of her sight.

“Just don’t be dumb and push yourself too far. Again”, Leo grumbled, his demeanor could be brash and cold sometimes, but she could tell that he was worried.

“You too, Leo,” she smiled softly, carefully kissed his cheek and he got flustered just to nudge her. She missed teasing him like this. There wasn’t much she could do to lighten up the mood, both Leo and her knew that, but it was worth a try.

It was worth finding something to ease her mind, because she couldn’t stop thinking of the war, King Garon’s Impostor, her promise to Ryoma, her conflicting families… Takumi. Sometimes, Corrin would feel like the weight of it all piled up on her chest and threatened to crush her.

Corrin’s hands tensed on her lap, she sighed at the same time her brother did. “What do you suppose we’re going to do from now and on?”, she asked.

“Camilla and Xander will arrive very soon to join our forces. I wouldn’t be surprised if The Impostor came along. He’s going to press us to attack Hoshido, and now that Iago is gone, it’s unknown what other measures he’ll take, he will rightfully feel threatened.” Leo looked pale, she could guess that he was mentally bracing himself for the worst. It was too much for such a young man, and just some time ago he had to learn that his real father died long ago. “As for you, we don’t know yet if we can trust Xander or Camilla to keep a secret, but we’ll need to hide you when the time comes, Prince Takumi too, if he is in his right mind to cooperate.”

She didn’t miss that last part, and she flinched at the mention of Takumi’s case, as she knew that the few people who managed to meet him didn’t get a good impression of him due his hostility towards nohrians. She’s heard that his condition improved notoriously in the past few says, but Azura was still the only person Takumi would allow to touch to him. At least he wasn’t physically aggressive towards people who’d try come near him anymore, particularly women.

“Also, as you requested, we took him out of the prisoner cell and now he’s inside a regular chamber, and he’ll be less guarded from now and on… even though I still believe that it’s a bad idea. I don’t want him to have a vindictive fit out of the blue.”

Corrin twisted her mouth. “I didn’t rescue him from being Iago’s prisoner just so we could treat him as one here too. He’s been through enough already.”

“I feel sorry for what happened to him, but I find it unwise to let our guard down with him.”

“You said that you recovered the Fujin Yumi, didn’t you?”

“Yes, I have it safely stored and out of reach. But that doesn’t mean that he can’t use any other weapon.”

“But the worst of them all will be kept away from him. You should worry to keep your own plan on-going. You can leave Takumi to Azura and to me.”

Leo didn’t wait to side-eye her. “Not to be impudent, but last time you visited him, he was extremely unwelcoming to your presence, wasn’t he? Exactly what happened between you two? I thought that at least he’d be grateful to you for saving him.”

“… It’s complicated, Leo.”

She couldn’t tell him. There were plenty of things she could disclose about her captivity with the hoshidan army, nothing that should harm either side, but any details about her relationship with Ryoma and the reason why Takumi harbored such a great regret and distrust towards her, all of that couldn’t be known.

Iago also had forced that information out of Takumi during those days; if any of that knowledge got out, then she’d…

“You don’t have to tell me everything, sister, but if it’s _that_ bad and you don’t have the time to be gentle with him, then just try to do what’s strictly necessary to keep him safe. There’s more at stake on this war than your relationship with that hoshidan brother of yours.”

“Yes, I know that.”

But what would Leo think of her if he knew? What would Xander think? What would happen if they did?

She knew that Leo would offer her privacy, his concerns were realistic and far more important, but thinking of her personal affairs was making a heavy knot in her stomach. Such little words had the power to destroy so much…

…

 

 

She tried to not think of Ryoma for a while, with Takumi and her nohrian family occupying most of her time, she didn’t want time to entertain any thoughts about him… She wasn’t sure if she wanted to. Returning to Ryoma was like returning to a dark and warm place, a false sense of comfort, and she was afraid of letting herself get lost into it again.

In her time alone she’d begin to wonder if anything with Ryoma truly happened, because even now it felt like it was nothing but a fleeting dream. It was insane to just think about it: that she fell in love with her own big brother and actually maintained sexual relations with him. It was all so distant now, didn’t even feel real anymore.

Her body remembered it though. Just like it remembered the pain of that horrible lightning strike, it also remembered the intimacy of his touch, the feeling of his own scars brushing against hers… As long as she had that long branched scar across her chest, she’d remember the man who did it, she’d remind herself that it was all very real.

She still dreamt of him, almost every night if she slept at all.

That night she awakened drenched in sweat, gasping heavily and feeling sore with a searing warmth inside her gut. It didn’t take much to relieve herself within the bedsheets, but then she’d just feel hollow and hopeless for doing it again, as if somehow all her past trials didn’t teach her anything.

If Leo would count on her in the future, she needed to be better than this, needed to be stronger for the people she failed so many times already.

She thought of Leo’s words. Was it necessary to sacrifice her relationships, her peace of mind, in order to solve this war? Could she do that? Could she live without their forgiveness? Could she just do whatever was objectively right in spite of her family’s feelings?

So she went out of her room before the break of the dawn and walked around the silent fortress, to the training courtyard and looked for the armory.

The fortress wasn’t very big or exceptional, and it only sheltered a few soldiers from Leo’s army; besides Corrin’s retinue, only those who were extremely loyal and trustworthy to the young nohrian prince were allowed to know about Corrin’s presence. Elise was an exception, but Leo must’ve realized that it was better to keep her closer than apart… Elise was likely to oppose to Leo’s scheming against their ‘Father’, would be far more scared than unbelieving of that secret, but knowing her well, she’d probably stay for Corrin’s sake if anything.

Corrin grabbed a simple iron sword and began to practice, swinging experimentally, oddly unaccustomed to the weight of the weapon on her arms, the result of months without touching a weapon. With increasing frustration she realized that practicing with a dummy was harder than it was supposed to be, often found herself thrusting the blade to the wrong place or the air. The absence of her right eye was really taking its toll on her.

“… I guess I should learn how to fight without depth perception”, she muttered to herself with a sour smile. She tried to take a deep breath and start over again. She’d probably find Gunter later to assist her training.

The courtyard had an opening to the outside the fortress, and while Corrin was engrossed in her own practice, she almost failed to notice the figure that was moving behind her and completely passed by her. If it wasn’t for the morning’s awakening light, she would have missed it.

She could have believed that it was a ghost if she didn’t know already the pale face of the person that hobbled to the exit of the fortress.

_Is that… Takumi?_

Dressed in a plain gray garb and barefoot, with his hair cut short he wouldn’t stand out inside a large crowd, but she knew his face well. He probably walked out of his room upon noticing that they lessened the vigilance on him.

He still couldn’t walk well, that much was clear. She dropped her sword and proceeded to follow him in silence, see what he was up to, but right at the entrance of the fort, another figure was awaiting out there dressed in black.

That was Leo. He’s been apparently expecting that Takumi would come here.

“You think you can walk all the way back to Hoshido in your condition?”

“Out of my way”, Takumi’s voice was hollow, too tired to even express any emotion of anger or regret. The hoshidan prince tried to walk past the other, but Leo stood his ground, placing his hands on an old tome he carried, merely a warning for Takumi to not move. “I don’t want anything from you, leave me alone.”

“As unapproachable as ever, I see. If you want to leave, you’ll be all alone and you’ll die sooner than later, and I know a few people who’d be upset about that. My sister is a kindhearted woman and she risked so much just to save your ungrateful person.”

“I don’t care…”

“She’s done nothing but to worry about you and that’s how you decide to react?”

“Just get out of my way.”

“Still willing to walk? You’re bleeding on your clothes, you damnable fool, didn’t you realize?”

“GET OUT OF MY WAY!”

Both princes tensed, seemed like a real fight was ready to explode between them, and Corrin couldn’t just remain idle. She jumped into the space between them and was invaded by a dreamlike perplexity when she compared both her young brothers, noticing how alike and different they were from each other.

“Stop! No fighting between you two!”, she exclaimed, looking back at Takumi more intently than Leo.

Takumi’s eyes were turbid with fear and rage, she could observe how his lips trembled, how close he was to frenzying. This had been the first time she’s heard him speak since the day she rescued him, but he was clearly still far from recovering from what he experienced.

“I wasn’t trying to pick up a fight, this fool right here thinks that he’s above his own wounds. Better get him back, shall we?” Leo suggested; from close, his face looked just as pale as his counterpart, he clearly didn’t want to fight. “That is, if he doesn’t want to make a fuss about it.”

“I’ll take care of this”, she said and Leo nodded quietly.

“DON’T”, Takumi snarled. When Corrin tried to reach for his shoulder he flinched away from her touch, looking at her with those scornful eyes. “Don’t touch me! Being near you makes me sick!”

Surprisingly, Takumi complied to Leo’s concerns and headed back to the fortress with his forceful limping and then Corrin noticed the bleeding that Leo mentioned, as thin line dark droplets trailed a path from beneath his garb's lower half, making her heart drop.

“Wait, Takumi.” She called him, her mind was only focused on the blood, only focused on knowing where it hurt, and she was in a state of panic when she desperately attempted to hold him back. She didn’t want him to move anymore. “I said wait! Don’t—”

She tried to reach him again in spite of his warnings, she didn’t have the patience to be gentle to him. Her hand grabbed his collar to stop him from moving, but she was too forceful, she was too desperate, and in consequence made the upper half of his shirt to open up.

Takumi froze in place and Corrin’s only eye was immediately drawn to his skinny chest. Hot irons were used to mark nohrian horses in the army with it, however… even though it’s been partially healed, it clearly marked the white skin above his heart, it’s shape was unmistakable. Nohr’s Royal Family emblem.

And she didn’t realize what her stare was doing until she observed how her brother’s breathing wavered and his expression was suddenly divorced from emotion, while her hand gripping his shirt firmly. Her mind was trying to make sense out of this, but merely entertaining the thought of Takumi having to react this way because of the way she acted… _This is how_ … She was causing this. She immediately let go, gradually becoming horrified with her own lack of judgement.

Takumi snapped out of it, sprinting away from her.

Leo, of course, witnessed the whole scene, but he quietly withdrew, for he had no useful words to add to the situation. He was an outsider, and he was aware that he couldn’t help the hoshidan prince even if he willed it.

In the end, Corrin felt like she had no choice: she’d have to make amends with Takumi or just leave him alone. But she knew that her conscience wouldn’t let her take the second option. She couldn’t just leave him and expect that everything would be solved on its own. He needed to hear what she had to say, and she needed to hear his words that’d come after.

Corrin found that he locked himself in the room they put him in—not really locked, it was more like he was putting his weight against the door, and she just kept on calling him, occasionally trying to pry the door open, but meeting with more resistance.

“Please… let me apologize to you. I didn’t know that—I shouldn’t have done that. Forgive me, Takumi”, she whimpered against the door.

“… What is your problem?” Takumi’s trembling voice seethed from the other side. “Haven’t you done enough damage already? Or are you here to pity me? To humiliate me some more?”

“What makes you think that I want to do that? Don’t you see that I care about you? You should be able to see that, I don’t understand why—” But she stopped her words. She was doing that again. She was letting her selfishness and desperation to show, hindering her efforts to find his forgiveness. “I made a mistake and I’ve hurt you, I know that. If I could take it back, I would!”

“ _Mistake_? That’s a flimsy way of putting it! I can’t believe you made me feel sorry for you! You—!” She felt a frustrated heavy knock from his side of the door. His voice was so bitter, so tired and despondent was slowly breaking into sobbing. “What were you expecting to get from him? Did you somehow use him to favor your situation? Did you think that you could make him let you go? What did you want? I—I don’t understand!”

He was talking about Ryoma, obviously. But soon found herself angry at her own incapacity to respond his questions, revulsion was twirling in her stomach by merely thinking about it and how deeply it affected Takumi.

“It was nothing like that. If you could just calm down and let me clarify…”

“No, you know what? I don’t want to know! You adults are so disgusting”, he grumbled.

 _But you are an adult too, aren’t you?,_ she thought, but then realized what he truly meant by that.

His words effectively silenced her, and she felt partially thankful for getting spared of explaining something she wasn’t ready to do. It wasn’t something that’d help Takumi right now anyway, and the truth was so ugly that it was better to just bury it deep inside her heart.

“… Then it’s true? You’re not really my sister?”

Corrin bit her lower lip; it wasn’t much comfort, but she owed him this answer at least.

“Your father, King Sumeragi, is only my adoptive father. Ryoma knew this all along and decided to come clean about the matter with Hinoka and Sakura too, shortly after you left. In truth, I think it’d have been much better if he told this to everyone in the first place. It would’ve spared us from so much pain.”

“… You don’t get to pin the blame on Ryoma for this one. Knowing it from the start wouldn’t have changed anything”, he said coldly, and suddenly Corrin felt like the weight against the door disappeared. “I don’t care who started it, but the fact remains that what you did was wrong.”

His words were cruel, sinking into her like thorns, and she allowed them to do it for they were words that belonged to a young man who had his family broken apart by her.

“Forgive me.” Her whisper echoed against the door, not knowing if he was hearing her anymore. She wanted to believe that it did. “I’ll leave you be for a while.”

As Corrin turned away to move back to the training ground, she heard the door of his room creak softly.

His frame still resembled more a ghost than a person, but his swollen wet eyes were alive. His thin fingers clutched the door’s edge tightly, as if he was afraid of letting go.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Is your eye truly gone?”

She blinked once, trying to not look affected, but her heart discovered the shame in his question. She realized that he knew well what happened. “Yes.”

“… I see.”

Then he closed the door again. She could have sworn that true regret reflected on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may be going a little slow? I'm not sure. These chapters are proving to be a little hard for me to write. 
> 
> But please leave your feedback, I am trying to improve my writing quality!


	20. Relapse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First things first: I've recently edited chapter 16, in which Kagero speaks to Ryoma, and added a little extra piece of dialogue, which is not much but I just thought that I'd let you know anyway.
> 
> Chapter 20, AKA, 'In which Takumi explains why Conquest was bad.'

TAKUMI

It was so infuriating to listen to Prince Leo, as he was to be forced to remain in the same room until he was done explaining. Worst of all, Corrin had to show up, possibly just to embody moral support for her _brother_ , because she wouldn’t say anything. She’d always divert her gaze from Takumi when he met hers.

It was all so infuriating.

“… So, let me get this straight: you’re hoping to use me in order to persuade my family to leave the capital defenseless, so maybe you can reveal how much of a big monster King Garon is? Really? _Gee_ , because it takes sitting him on MY country’s throne to open everyone’s eyes about how evil your father truly is!”

“Don’t call him that! My father has been dead for a very long time”, said Prince Leo, but Takumi couldn’t have cared less for his feelings. “You don’t have to like our way of doing things. But trust me that what we’re going to do will be for both of our kingdom’s best interests.”

“Of course, you’re saying that now, but your plan is stupid! You will go and blame King Garon—or whoever the hell that is—for all the lives that you Nohrians have taken under his command, but you just want to use him as a scapegoat so you don’t have to take responsibility for your crimes!”

“I will take responsibility, Prince Takumi. Say whatever you want, but neither my family nor me will quietly walk away from this mess.”

Takumi gritted his teeth, trying to hold back the damned tears. He stared at Corrin for one moment. “If you wanted to take responsibility, you’d murder that monster before he takes any more innocent lives! Why do you have to wait until he invades my home in order to do so?” Prince Leo tensed under that black armor upon hearing those words, Corrin evaded Takumi’s eyes once more, but she was notably more flustered.

“Stop talking about it as if it was simple. This man is still posing as our Father. You should understand why it’s so important to expose him in front of my family.”

“I don’t care what he is to you”, Takumi sighed, shaking his head. “I assumed you had some semblance of morality in your wretched nohrian heart, but I guess that I was wrong. You value your family’s integrity far more than the lives of the many innocent people that you will sacrifice in order to accomplish your stupid plan!”

“We will make sure to spare as many lives as we can.”

“That is not good enough! Do you think that I trust you to even do that? Good-intentioned words mean nothing! NOTHING! That monster won’t allow it to happen, as long as he is alive! Your plan for peace is worthless!”

His whole body was boiling, he thought he’d go crazy. How could that damned prince be so stubborn? Takumi could just jump on him and punch all of his teeth away! But he wouldn’t, he was already surrounded with nohrian guards with spears readied against his throat to prevent any attempt. Corrin called them off, but they clearly wouldn’t hold back if Takumi became hostile again.

Prince Leo frowned, with the nerve of appearing offended. How dare he? It wasn’t his country and the people he loved that were endangered.

“See here, I don’t need to justify myself to you if you’re going to behave like crying lunatic.”

“…  And you’re just going to dismiss me like that, right? I don’t know why I thought that I could reason with you!”

And now Prince Leo was leaving. Takumi was heaving, his body frozen and his mind racing because the pointlessness of his own words, because Corrin would just stand there and say nothing else. Did she even care?

…

 

 

Takumi hated to leave the room where he was supposed to inhabit through his captivity in Prince Leo’s army, as it was unfortunately the only place where he felt remotely safe. He couldn’t run away, mostly because his body was too weak to travel back to Hoshido, because Corrin pitied him so that she didn’t think that he needed to be rigorously watched by guards, and though he hated her to be right, he had no power or will to become a threat for them; he was mostly useless without his Fujin Yumi anyway.

For the first few days in this new prison, he couldn’t sleep and was too paranoid to allow any other person get close. Except for Azura. His heart still resented and distrusted Azura, but he found her presence calming. She’d sometimes sing when he pretended to fall asleep. He liked that song.

During those sleepless days he spent, he’d be able to tell the time only by Azura’s visits, twice a day. She’d bring food and water, and then she would revise his wounds depending on how much he decided to cooperate. Usually after, she’d encourage him to go take a bath, because otherwise he’d completely neglect it.

But some days, he just couldn’t muster the strength to leave the bed, where his body would sink so deeply, he entertained the thought of disappearing inside of it. Azura’s subtle aroma of flowers and wet earth would ease him into a very light sleep. He felt like somehow Azura’s presence was guarding him off the nightmares, and in a way, he was thankful for that. It didn’t make him less miserable or think less of everything that has happened, but he owed these brief moments of respite to Azura.

The day in which Prince Leo, second youngest Nohrian Royal, showed up to his room’s door with Corrin, he managed to put up the best and most composed face he could, as hard as it was to not panic and start suffocating in the presence of so many soldiers, but the unquenchable rage he felt towards Prince Leo’s proposition allowed him to stand up on his own. And what’s worse, Corrin was there too; it was a miracle that Takumi didn’t have a serious breakdown right there, because in his mind there were things more important than his own mental health.

After hearing them talk about pretending to carry on the will of King Garon of invading Hoshido until they could let him sit on their sacred Throne… there’s no way it’d ever happen. No way in hell. Ryoma and Hinoka would first die before allowing a single nohrian put one foot inside the throne room, no matter the circumstances. Takumi knew that the Hoshidan Throne held a special power to reveal people’s true nature by sitting on it—no doubt that Azura probably disclosed that information for them—… It certainly wasn’t worth the trouble if they only wanted to use it on Garon. That monster’s real nature spoke for itself.

What was Corrin even thinking about? She didn’t even look fully convinced of that plan when her nohrian brother elaborated… She couldn’t possibly think that this was the only way of taking down King Garon, could she?

Later that night, he felt so restless thinking about Corrin, he paced around his room so much that he eventually managed to force himself to walk outside and explore the little fortress once more, not without meeting with the cackling flames of the torches hanging from the walls and the strange growling echoing softly around the stone halls. It was such an eerie atmosphere; he couldn’t make out exactly what the noises were until he got to the fort’s courtyard.

It was Corrin with a long blade, and receiving her strikes and countering her thrusts with steady lance and shield, there was an old man with an intimidating appearance that reminded him of a worn iron sword. He was probably Corrin’s retainer.

They were training, and he could tell that she’s been going at it for a long while too because of the glossy shimmer on her face, the streaks of wet hair clinging to her forehead and cheeks, the damp stains of sweat on her white tunic’s back…

Her movements with the sword had once been graceful and unpredictable, yet imperfect and left lots of openings that could easily be exploited if one was fast enough. Something was amiss about her fighting style this time. Her movements were inelegant, even a little desperate… He knew the reason why.

Takumi held his breath for a moment and felt a chill run down his spine when he looked at Corrin’s new eyepatch. His fingers twitched and felt a surge of fieriness when he imagined his hands over her anguished face, pulling out an arrow from Corrin’s eye.

He cut the illusion short, as he was startled by the thunderous battle cry she made when the old man pushed her roughly to the ground after one strike.

He returned to his room while simultaneously haunted by Corrin’s roars at the courtyard, the violent sound of iron clanking against iron.

Takumi wondered if she felt anger too, for the things that he did to her.

Azura was by his room’s door when he came back, startling him a bit, because of her white translucent gown and tranquil bearing, she easily reminded him of a ghost. She also seemed surprised, but then quietly nodded at him, letting him pass.

However, he stopped at the room’s door, stilled his gaze on her and felt his stomach heavy again by just thinking about her again. Azura also noticed this and tilted her head, as if inviting him to speak his mind as she always did, even when he would never do it.

But tonight he was different.

“Thanks”, he muttered, diverting his eyes instantly to her feet. “for treating my wounds, even though I was harsh towards you… I know I’ve been nothing but unkind, Azura.”

Azura licked her lips, taking her time before replying. “You don’t have to apologize.”

Their silence was contrasting after the exchange of a few words, Takumi realized that he really didn’t know how to talk to Azura anymore, or didn’t know how to approach her without his bias against her. His care for her was born mostly out of selfish feelings and he certainly needed her more than she’d ever need him.

“I’ve been meaning to ask this earlier, but… how did you know that your song would save me?”

She softly shrugged, the dim blue shine of her pendant caught his eye. “It was just a feeling. I cannot explain it, but my song can work in many different ways… but I make sure to only use it when it’s necessary.”

His heart was beating fast and he felt sick, remembering the situation in which he heard that song; it still felt like just a vague dream and his fingers couldn’t stop fidgeting.

“You had every reason to hate me, to let me die. If Corrin wasn’t in danger, would you have sung anyway?”

“I care about you, Takumi. I’d sing for you as many times as possible just to save you, because no matter what happens, I still see you as my brother.”

His shoulders tensed. “… Even if we’re not blood related?”

“Blood has never been relevant to me.” She spoke coolly, he couldn’t always tell what her feelings were, and Takumi was always unnerved by this. Azura also had a part in the plan that Prince Leo proposed to him the other day, so hearing her speak like this wasn’t reassuring at all.

Azura sighed. “I know, only you can decide if you want to forgive Corrin and I, but please know that we both truly care about you, no matter what you choose to believe.”

“Then tell me this: Did you also know that she wasn’t my blood sister?”

“… I knew that she was the only child Queen Mikoto bore. I was never directly told about this.”

“But you knew this all along.”

“I cannot say ‘all along’. But it wasn’t my place to tell something so important. Is this what’s been keeping you so restless?” Her hand gently found his shoulder, and it was as light as a feather. “Why resent her over something that she cannot control?”

Takumi sneered, feeling powerless. “You truly have no idea, do you? She didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

His own words were painful in his throat, because he couldn’t bring himself to out Corrin in front of Azura, no matter how much he desired to hate her for everything. Instead, he just felt a hollowness boring inside his chest, deeper and wider.

“… The fact is that if she’s not my real sister… it changes a lot of things. More than you think.” And by saying this, he shrugged off her hand from his shoulder.

“I guess it does, but only you can decide how it affects you.”

He left for his room after that, Azura hesitatingly left him to his solitude, as this short talk only made him grow even more restless.

…

 

 

He couldn’t remember most of what happened when he was a prisoner of Iago. Back then, his mind struggled to distinguish between what was a nightmare and what truly happened, and even when he was safe from them now, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. The only testimony of those things ever happening to him were the wounds still bleeding deep within him, the pain didn’t affect him greatly as the shame did, as it seared through his thoughts every time that Azura would come to ask him about his injuries.

The darkness’ voice would echo inside his head along with the splinters of obscenities committed against him would always make a cold sweat run all over his body every night, and would suddenly feel like they’d come back ghosting in his dreams in the form of serpents coiling between his limbs, whispering words of hatred and solitude that he couldn’t repeat.

Those broken echoes conjured back the vision of two bodies intertwined in the shadows, knotted into each other like a pair of snakes. He could feel some sort of heaviness in his stomach by just listening to them whimper and breathe into each other, moving as if they were one throbbing heart… He thought he’d go insane if it didn’t stop. He couldn’t bear looking at them anymore.

As if the nightmare decided to comply to his desperate plea, the dreadful scene was undone before him, but only the vision Corrin remained there, standing alone in that dark place. He couldn’t turn away from the sight of her white chest branded with lightning, or the empty space replacing her right eye.

Corrin sat in front of him with a pensive look on her disfigured face, he couldn’t look away no matter how much he wanted to, no matter how sick and maddening it was to stare at her scarred naked body, the same body that his Mother shielded with hers to save her, the same body that also lain with his brother Ryoma…

He really just wanted to look away, just wanted to wash away that disgust and anxiety that pervaded his thoughts every time he had to look at her.

It was like he was forced to see into the ugly depths of her being, forced to know of circumstances that transformed her into such a vile filthy thing, a thing he once thought he wanted to protect, to love. He loathed this body, loathed to look at her with those thoughts invading every waking moment, all despite Corrin being his… _My Sister…_

“Why are you still upset? I’m not your real Sister. You don’t have to let this upset you anymore”, said a voice that resembled that of Corrin’s.

“… It isn’t that simple”, he grunted.

“But you’ll feel better once you let go.”

“Even so, it cannot possibly be good! How could I ever let go?” The tears were warming his face and he didn’t know how to stop them. The image of Corrin tilted her head, her only eye boring on him. “Why would you do that? Why did you have to do that with him? It’s wrong! It’s all wrong!”  

“How can you say that it’s wrong if you’ve never experienced it?”

“Why would I ever want that?”

“Why wouldn’t you?”

“It’s wrong.”

“It’s only wrong because you think that doing it with your sister is wrong.”

“Isn’t that reason enough?”

“Rules can be bent, and it’s suddenly not so wrong anymore, because in the end it can be so rewarding.”

“Rewarding?”

“It’s the satisfaction of being so intimate to someone you love, more than anyone else can be. It’s a wonderful feeling.”

His heart was beating so fast, the echoes of horror and agony still crawled underneath his skin, it was such a revolting feeling that he thought it’d end up choking him. “What’s so stupidly wonderful about it? How could anyone ever enjoy… _that_?”

The shadow of her image was looming over him, overpowering him with great ease. “I can show you.”

The image of her tainted lips pressing against his was met with all those shrieks lost in the back of his head, the lost memories of dozens of hands prying him open came at him all at once. His whole body rejected the idea of her, rejected everything so violently that it made her bleed.

The image of Corrin stepped back and her face was slick red and he couldn’t stop the gasping in terror, trying so hard to get away from her as far as his mind could let him.

“What’s the matter? Didn’t you also yearn for this?”

“That is not what I wanted!” he cried, his tears distorted her image into something far more monstrous, incomprehensible for his mind, like a dragon. “I just wanted to get closer to you! I never asked for something like this! NEVER!”

But with all of his screaming, the dream vanished as suddenly as it came, he found himself damp in sweat on the bed’s crumpled sheets; his chest was so heavy that he struggled to breathe. Someone was thumping against the door until it was forced open.

Takumi’s head was still spinning when the person who broke into his room approached his side and kept on speaking to him, and one voice turned into two of them. Two women, one of them couldn’t stop calling his name.

He allowed himself to ease into Azura’s silken touch, the only comfort he wanted, however…

“With all that screaming, I thought that you were being attacked…” Corrin was observing from safe distance, and he understood that she was real, but still, his heart raced when his eyes met her. “You’re… not hurt, are you?”

There was no response from Azura; Corrin’s question was useless and she knew perfectly well what happened. All she wanted was an answer from him and nothing else.

Takumi just huffed and scowled at her with his still-wet eyes. “Why are you still here? Do you think that you’re helping me? You’re precisely the last person I want to see right now! Leave!”

The one-eyed princess stepped back, clearly smitten by his sharp words, but Azura turned her face to Corrin and gave a nod, as if in reassurance that it’d be fine to leave.

After moments of silent struggle and hesitation, Corrin decided to leave, but not before uttering an apology mouth with her strained voice, worn from hours of roaring during training.

Did she even realize that her apologies were worthless? Being forgiven would only benefit her, not him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been waiting to write this chapter for a very long time! Please tell me what do you think?


	21. Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me longer than it should have. I'm sorry about that. I think I might take a small 2-week hiatus to rest and do school stuff. Please be patient!

AZURA

“Apparently the eldest Prince of Hoshido kept Lady Corrin as his pet for months, if you know what I mean. Imagine that.”

Common soldiers could come and go to the nearby village to replenish their personal supplies, to convey to that side of them that still yearned for the mundane. Locals accepted the presence of unusually kind strangers and their wish for trade, and they’d warm up to them enough to indulge in the exchange of gossip. Azura, of course, was alien to all of that, as she would avoid interaction with the soldiers if possible.

Azura was aware that news in the time of war would either travel fast or be halted at all costs, depending on the context… however…

She never liked gossip, whether it was true or not, she only knew it as something damaging, something that could evolve and devour people’s lives inadvertently, and right now she couldn’t stop feeling her jaw tense when she started to hear more and more soldiers in Leo’s army speak about Corrin like this; it spread like a disease.

The princess was on her way to take her own meal to her quarters in the fort and she casually passed through a couple of mercenaries talking.

“Huh. That’s kind of sick. What makes you think it’s true though? It sounds fake.”

“But what if it isn’t? It makes sense that they’d send her away after the little brother went missing. The Hoshidan royal family must be falling apart—Hey, watch it!” The princess ‘accidentally’ dropped the bowl of her soup ration to the shoulder of the mercenary when she stepped nearby; the man forgot his rage when he recognized the noble bearing of the woman, as she silently apologized. “L-lady Azura, please be more careful!”

Admittedly, she rarely ever let herself act under the influence of anger, especially anything malicious, but it wasn’t just Corrin’s reputation what was being tarnished by this gossip…

Nearby, Prince Leo was hidden around the corner from the hall those soldiers were talking, and understandably she was startled to encounter him, and from the looks of it, he wasn’t pleased.

“Leo…! Were you listening to them?”

“I’ve been hearing them for days, actually. Locals in the nearby town came upon those rumors… I’m afraid that maybe some of Iago’s confidants must’ve made sure to spread the gossip before the massacre at his camp”, he said, crossing his armor-clad arms, twisting his thin lips in disgust. “Even in death, Iago does nothing but bring misery to all of us.”

Azura took a quick look around, make sure that nobody else would be hearing them. Then she spoke, looking at him more intently. “What do you make out of this situation?”

“Ill-conceived rumors were the indirect cause of my mother’s death years ago… not a coincidence that Iago was at the heart of them too” Azura had heard as much from the years she spent in the ruthless nohrian court, but Leo’s case was difficult, for he was the son of one of Garon's many concubines that had made her life miserable in there. She decided to not press the matter. However, that only begged for the question: what would they do about these rumors? They were far from harmless and she didn’t want to think of the effects it’d have on Elise… or Takumi.

“Unfortunately, addressing the matter myself will barely hinder the damage… The least I can do is to discourage the gossip from spreading”, Leo spoke; he looked extremely tired. Azura wasn’t sure how well has he slept if he did at all; he seemed ready to pass out anytime. “Don’t tell Corrin any of this, Azura. She’s got enough things to worry about these days.”

“You too. Xander will arrive to us shortly, so, you better be prepared to lie on his face.”

“As long as he doesn’t make the right questions, I won’t have to try too hard to lie.” It wasn’t that he was a bad liar, but probably his brother was too good at telling when someone is; it was hard to tell if he was ready to meet Xander, Azura knew that she wasn’t. “But then, we’ll have to see what’s going to be done about Prince Takumi as our _hostage_. Something tells me that he won’t try to escape, but he isn’t going to make our lives any easier either, especially when Xander arrives and begins to mobilize our troops through Hoshidan territory.”

“… Will you explain to him about what happened with Iago?”

The young prince nodded softly, albeit holding a bleak expression. “It won’t shake his faith on _Father_ , but at least it’ll serve to ease him into what’s to come. And don’t worry, I don’t think that Xander will outright expose Corrin or Prince Takumi in front of that Impostor… I know that he won’t.”

The songstress didn’t sense any hint of hesitation in his words when he spoke about Prince Xander, and it somehow reassured her. It’s been a constant surprise to find out that her nohrian ‘siblings’ haven’t been completely broken by King Garon’s relentless abuse and manipulation… and she often found herself admiring Leo for his flexibility. She wasn’t wrong for relying on him.

The earth shook beneath her feet, the rumbling of explosions penetrated into the fortress and Leo immediately closed his distance with Azura while the soldiers from minutes ago were alerted by that booming sound as well.

“What is it now? Are we under attack?” Leo griped, his expression suddenly more awake. Azura parted from him quickly and sprinted to the fort’s entrance where all the guards were gathering.

“Rogues!”, one of them yelled, before the force of a powerful red flare made five different men fly in the air.

Azura stepped back, momentarily blinded by the smoke produced by that and she struggled to breathe, left vulnerable. There were mage users among those attackers, definitely nohrians as well…

Before she could see, there was a man wielding a large axe lifting his weapon above her head, and she had no time to react, as she was unarmed.

That brief moment of terror was short-lived however, as an unnatural set of tree branches appeared before her, the thick wood shielding her from her attacker and gruesomely twirled around the barbarian’s limbs… This could only be the work of the magic tome Brynhildr, legendary weapon bestowed on Leo’s hands. Such a terrifying and beautiful magic, she never truly saw it from this close.

Leo called Azura out, and she took the chance to run. They needed to prepare for battle.

…

 

 

TAKUMI

He heard it when it happened, a part of his heart probably expected it to be a strike from hoshidan troops that had come to rescue their prince, but he quickly dismissed the idea as preposterous. His family surely had other more important things to do than to waste forces into retrieving him, a husk of the prince he was supposed to be.

Whatever happened, it was grave enough for Azura to rush into his room and press him to follow her immediately to whatever safe place they thought he needed to be.

But Azura wasn’t going to protect him, no. She sought for someone else to do the job as they ran through the fortress filled with clouds of dust and smoke. They found Corrin with that old gray retainer of hers, her sword was ready in hand and her single red eye was glowing with wild panic when she spotted Takumi.

“Hurry, we can’t let them see that Takumi is here, nor you”, she gasped as she spoke to Corrin, pushing Takumi towards them. “It’s not safe that you remain hidden in the fort.”  

The old knight took promptly guided both him and Corrin to a different exit, and Azura stayed behind, possibly thought that she was needed on the battle unfolding at the fort’s courtyard.

They found a secret exit at the back of the fortress facing the lush forested area, and Takumi could listen to the tumult from afar, and for a moment, the old knight—his name was Gunter, he recalled— flinched with his lance and shield on hand upon hearing the movements of the underbrush.

“… Stay close, both of you.” the old man commanded, Corrin was particularly tense as she would look back at Takumi every few seconds. Nobody was comfortable with this.

It happened too fast, the whispers were not lift by the air and nobody heard it until the thunder cracked on Gunter’s shoulder, making the man cry out by the blow. Corrin reacted immediately and went out to chase after the source of that magical assault. She moved so fast, like a predator, and with a quick swing of her sword, she terminated the hidden enemy before Gunter could recover his breath. Gunter was resting on his knees; the large armor was suddenly too heavy for him, apparently.

Takumi observed it from such a distance; he didn’t feel like he was actually here at all. Why was he here in the first place? It was hard to breathe. More rogues appeared, Gunter yelled alerting his lady about the danger, Corrin suddenly found herself fending an axe-wielding barbarian; her sword technique was still clumsy, but enough to keep her alive…

He could run away. He could move his legs, run until his feet bled, run until all of them were left far behind him. He could run now and warn his people about what was to come. He could redeem himself…

“Takumi, don’t split! Takumi!”

Corrin ran after him, and he realized that she was already close to catching up with him, which only prompted him to consciously pick up the pace. She would not trap him, not again.

And then he tripped.

No. He was pushed to the ground, but just not from behind. His body rolled until his back collided with a tree’s roots.

Corrin screamed his name, and Takumi watched a man wielding sword and shield cross her path, avoiding her by sheer luck, and her only eye instantly fixated on the blade he was holding. Takumi could only see the armed mercenary’s back, but he could tell that the man was confident of his stance. He was well-equipped with a pair of swords hanging from his belt, even several knives that might as well just serve for anything but battle.

“… After the havoc that you caused at the camp, I escaped with my life, but never thought that I’d ever have the chance to repay the favor!” The man had a wyrmslayer in his hand, one cut could prove to be fatal to dragons… and Corrin, in a sense, was a dragon. If Corrin became so cautious all of sudden, it could only mean that it was indeed her bane.

The man struck first, she blocked the sword’s strike, but her counter was effectively blocked as well. Corrin grunted, pressed her weight against the man’s sword and swung again, stronger, she’d be able to knock him off-balance. Takumi decided to take this chance to run away; that’s what Corrin would have asked him to do anyway…

She’d be fine. She could beat that one man without problem. He ran, realized that he pain that travelled through his body was that of a twisted ankle—must’ve happened when he tripped—; but he resisted, he refused to stop running.  It’d be fine.

She’d be fine.

She’d be fine. Why should he worry?

… Suddenly the pain became unbearable. He couldn’t breathe. Takumi stumbled on his knees, sweaty on his neck and face, feeling so sick that he thought he’d throw up.

There was no way that he’d make it. He was small and weak, his pride was mutilated to a thin thing, and he couldn’t possibly even think of showing his face to Sakura or Hinoka, less of all, Ryoma. The shame and disgust they’d feel if they ever found out. They’d never let him live it down… How could he ever consider himself their brother after all the things he was forced to do?

He couldn’t breathe. He was so small and weak and broken. Being this scared, where could he go? What could he do?

The movement of dry leaves crunching and steps came after him; as he thought, Corrin probably didn’t have any problems to find him, and now she’d take him back to Gunter…

The hand that grabbed his shoulder pulled him up so violently that he was startled. It was the man that Corrin fought, and gods, the wyrmslayer’s edge was painted in red. Takumi’s heart froze and his mouth dried when he saw that man’s satisfied smile.

“It’s you! You’re the hoshidan boy! Don’t you remember me?” Without thinking, Takumi tried to kick him away and escape. “Where do you think you’re going?” Another push like the one before, and then a large hand slapped his face, making him taste blood in his mouth; he was pinned to the ground on his chest, with the weight of the man’s knee sitting on Takumi’s back.

He tried to move, but suddenly his stomach grew heavier and his arms froze in place, feeling a hand grab the nude back of his neck. “I was extremely nice to you, don’t you remember? They were all yanking your pretty long hair all the time, so I decided to chop it off. If I didn’t do it, they’d have broken your neck.”

Those words sent chills down his spine, but he couldn’t remember any of that, he couldn’t even reason with the idea that this man did—

He was turned over, took a good look at the man’s wretched smile to make Takumi shoulders shiver while his mind struggled to find a response. The man tried to undo his lower garments, Takumi couldn’t understand why he was frozen like this, why his mind so desperately wanted to escape while his body couldn’t muster the strength that he needed to fight. It was like it gave up before he could reason a way out.

He hated himself for this. This is why he was so worthless, so weak, so small… This is what he’s been reduced to and he only had himself to blame.

“I… I can’t breathe…!” he gasped; couldn’t even understand why he said that aloud. Nobody would hear and nobody would care. The world was vanishing before his eyes.

And he heard that coarse laughter, inviting him to dive into darkness. “Just take a deep breath—”

“GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY BROTHER!”

There was a scream that shook the woods, there was the sound of iron and a splatter, a heavy thud that hit the ground next to him. His face was wet, he touched his own face to see that someone else’s blood was sprinkled on his face, and it took him one moment to understand that Corrin’s sword had cut the brute’s head in half, the body limp on top of Takumi.

Corrin was heaving, her hands on the sword’s hilt were trembling and she fell on her bottom while her left eye was wide and looking at the body of the man that she slew. Takumi, however, couldn’t stand seeing the man.

Clarity jolted through Takumi, and he moved the body off him, so much heavier and colder than what he imagined. A strange surge of mirth followed, as he found that he could breathe again.

He snickered; he found out that his hands couldn’t stop trembling either, just like Corrin’s.

“… I didn’t even recognize his face”, Takumi murmured, wiping the blood from his chin with his dirty sleeve.

“W-what’s the matter with you?” Corrin whined. He wasn’t looking at her, just at his own hands, then at the corpse beside him.

“You must think that I’m pathetic, don’t you? You just keep on coming to save me over and over again and I can’t even fight against one single man. Pitiful, isn’t it?” He smiled, and somehow it only made his words come out easier. Smiling should have been the last thing to do, but he couldn’t help it.

“… I’m tired. I’m so tired, Corrin”, he finally said after moments of hearing Corrin pant.

Maybe Corrin was too exhausted to understand right away and act fast, but Takumi didn’t think about it when he took one knife from the corpse’s belt and placed the rusty tip against his own stomach.

It wasn’t very sharp, but if he did it with enough force and quickly, he could avoid making it messier than it was supposed to be. It’d be fine. It’d be over soon if he did it right.

He felt it, how Corrin suddenly jumped and tried to say something, but with his own faltering hands, the grip on the handle went completely loose; he lowered the blade before she could even touch it.

He couldn’t go through with it after all.

With a more careful demeanor, Corrin sat close to him. Takumi observed that there was a large bloody gash on her right thigh, her white tights were damp with angry crimson and it looked too painful to watch. She was slashed in several parts of her body, but her thigh looked the worst.

“Give it to me.” Corrin didn’t have to fight to take it from his hands, it was almost lovingly how she retrieved it and put it away. “… This is not how it has to end. I know, I’m the last person you’d like to listen right now, but please, don’t let this be the end! You’re so much stronger than that!”

“That’s not true!” Takumi shook his head, refused to look at her face. Her words were again meaningless, an easy pretense of understanding. “There’s no way that you can come out stronger from something like _… this_. I should have died before letting them have me! I wanted to die when they laughed at me and I wanted to die when they made me cry out. Whenever I came back to my senses, I only wanted one of them to simply cut my throat and make it end… You can’t understand how _this_ feels like!”

He always avoided to talk about it, not because it was so painfully obvious for everyone observant enough, but because of the shame and distress scarring him so deeply. It was for the best to never bring it up, he thought. It was for the best if he could work his way into acting as if it never happened, he thought.

But right now it was overflowing, no matter how much he couldn’t afford to let it out, it was impossible to hide how bad the damage was, as the wound kept on opening wider and wider.

And Corrin was always in the middle of the wound. Always.

“I should have come for you sooner”, she whispered, she tried to swallow a whine of pain as her hand hesitated to reach out for him.

She was trying so hard to gain his sympathy. Why?

“Why are you doing this?” His question had so many meanings, and she had to be quiet for a few seconds to think of an answer. Her shoulders were tense, and her hands were suddenly twisting on her lap.

“… I promised that I’d take you back home.”

_No._

“No! You’re just saying it to give your reckless actions an excuse, but you shouldn’t even care whether I hate you or not! You always get hurt because of me! Why are you like this?”

She snapped a glare at him, and her lips twisted while tried to find a way with words. She was shaking again, seemed angrier too. “I don’t know! Maybe because I feel guilty! M-maybe because I want you to just forgive me for what I did! I should take you home and keep my promise no matter what, but I also want you to forgive me, because I don’t know how else to deal with you! I can’t stand the thought of you hating me so much anymore! I want you to trust me, I want you to validate me, even if the only thing I can do is to receive the blows and cuts for you! So why don’t you forgive me already?”, Corrin cried, one of her fists grabbed a handful of her own hair in frustration. “Why won’t you just forgive me?”

He’s seen her like this before, before everything went to hell, when she was so deep in despair that he thought she’d fall apart. Was this how she’s been feeling all along?

It took a few moments for Corrin to regain her composure, but her heart was left open before him and he knew the extent of her affliction, how willfully he neglected to acknowledge her sacrifices. He’s been hurt, and in return he had done nothing but to make her bleed.

But no matter how much he owed her, how much he wanted to relieve her of her pain, Corrin wasn’t within her rights to demand forgiveness. Not when she was at the verge of betraying everything she loved once again… It’d be cruel to falsely reassure her that her actions wouldn’t weigh on her later on.

Then she got back on her feet, albeit noticeably her legs shuddered in the effort. It looked painful to stand with such a big wound on her leg.

“… I’m sorry. I know that it’s too much to ask from you”, she said, her voice was still dreary, but held itself with some sort of sweetness.

For one last time, she stretched out her hand towards him and he saw her only eye glistening, how she extraordinarily fought back the tears that should be drenching her cheeks. It was so unfair to see how strong she was, how such a small show of grit moved Takumi to accept that hand; unsurprisingly, she was warm to the touch, contrasting the bittersweet feelings swirling inside him.

And even Takumi tried to loved her… he couldn’t forgive her. It was too much, too soon for that.

For now, he only wanted to lean on her and let her lean on him in return, because the world was too heavy and their wounds too grave to pretend that they didn’t need solace. Their prides weren’t worth much anyway.

The noise of warring echoed distantly around the woods, slowly dying down. The rogues were probably not many anyway, so those that Corrin and Gunter have faced must’ve been just trying to surround the fortress…  Takumi could only ponder about the grim origins of those rogues and their reasons for attacking Prince Leo’s forces out of the blue, despite being nohrians.

Suddenly, Corrin tensed and took up her sword again at the same time they heard the aggressive clopping of a horse approaching to them at alarming speed.

“Stand back!” Corrin stood defensively in front of Takumi, making sure that he would be shielded from an upcoming attack.

He didn’t like to be in this position when she was still so heavily wounded, and he considered taking up one of the swords of the dead body, but he instantly dropped the idea once he recognized the figure of the man who rode the giant black horse that appeared after layers of trees. Corrin seemed to recognize it as well.

“Corrin?” said the horseman, his poise was something that could only belong to nobility. It was on the way he dressed, the way he spoke, the air surrounding him. And then there was that formidable black sword he lowered when he spoke Corrin’s name with such familiarity.

For some reason, it struck fear in Takumi.

“Xander?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I have not much to say about this chapter. Let me know what do you think!


	22. Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaaaaand sorry for the long hiatus. I said that I'd rest from writing for 2 weeks, and usually a chapter takes me 1 week to finish, so that kind of explains why you had to wait for 3 weeks. I'm sorry about that. There's been a lot going on in my life and I needed to clear my mind.  
> But I'm finally back and to update regularly! I hope that this chapter is of your liking!

TAKUMI

Facing the eldest Prince of Nohr turned out to be far more terrifying than he thought, and he felt more pathetic than before when he discovered that his hands were shaking with both fear and impotence when he identified a hopeful ring in Corrin’s voice when she called out Prince Xander’s name.

The armor-clad prince opened his mouth to say something, but a sudden noise broke through the grove and made his large horse  grow nervous—of course, he was quick to control his steed’s reaction—, and he had to turn his attention back to the oncoming conflict spreading across the woods.

“We’ll have plenty of time to catch up, we ought to rid this place of these ruffians at once!” His voice was powerful, unwavering, just like Ryoma’s, and Takumi felt uneasy with how quickly he made this connection.

Corrin stiffened her hold on her sword and returned her glare to Takumi as the Crown Prince of Nohr engaged with enemies using that mighty sword that made the air shudder around it, as if it spilled dark light with each swing. Ruffians seemed aware of the dangers of approaching the mounted Prince, they would take distance and some would even run away; Xander would pursue them in result, his power unmatched.

Of course, because the ruffians weren’t here for Prince Xander, those who managed to avoid him approached Corrin, who was still willing to fight to protect Takumi in any way. However, she was clearly struggling to keep her posture. If Prince Xander had seen the extent of her wounds, he wouldn’t have left her to battle on her own…

An enemy soldier ran towards them, so keenly slipped through Prince Xander’s unforgiving guard, and Corrin pushed Takumi further back, groaning in pain when she had to move her legs, but her sword was firm in her hands as she blocked one strike of the soldier’s lance.

“Idiot, you cannot fight anymore with your leg like that!” he grunted, seeing how she didn’t listen anyway.

She was strong enough to set the lancer off-balance for a moment, but her wounds resented her sudden movement. Her lower half was drenched in crimson, and it was clear that she wouldn’t last any longer… However, she was hideously stubborn, as she rose her blade once more to clash with the enemy’s lance. From the start, the type of weapon they wielded had put Corrin in disadvantage, as a lance could more easily pass through a common sword’s defenses.

“Stop what you’re doing and run!”, Takumi yelled at her, simultaneously hoping that Prince Xander would hear and turn around to aid her.

No, it’d be too late. Corrin tripped over a tree’s roots and even when Xander probably realized that she wasn’t doing so well, he couldn’t come fast enough. The lancer was going to stab her through the chest and she couldn’t do anything to stop it, staggered like that.

In that instant, Takumi picked up the sword from the other mercenary’s corpse and jumped in between Corrin and the lancer, one of his hands grabbed the lance’s tip and he yanked it forward, diverting it to the left.

_What am I doing?_

This of course, surprised the ruffian and set him off-balance. Takumi’s blood was rushing through his body as he quickly let go of the lance and wielded the sword with both hands, using that opening to strike down the man. Takumi used the force of his own legs to propel himself forward even if his twisted ankle was protesting with pain; he forcefully stabbed the lancer’s stomach, and Takumi felt in his arm’s shudders as the sword pierced through the man’s torso with that iron edge, the flesh yielding to that deep and forceful intrusion. Takumi’s heart was beating so fast, his head was full of hot fever.

And then he pulled out the blade, not as swiftly as he would have wanted thanks to his injured ankle; he begrudgingly admitted that his own technique had become terribly clumsy after a long time of not touching a sword.

The lancer dropped to the ground, bleeding out for a few seconds before drawing his last breath. Takumi’s clothes were wet with the blood of nohrians.

By the time he grew more self-aware of his own actions, he realized that he just killed the man by protecting Corrin. He didn’t know what was more incredible: the fact that he gathered the strength to fight or that he used it in order to save Corrin’s life.

She was still recovering from the shock; Corrin only looked up at him with an expression of pure awe and dread, as if her only eye couldn’t believe what it was seeing.

And then he heard the heavy steps of Prince Xander’s mount, coming closer more slowly than before. Instinctively, Takumi gripped tighter to the sword’s hilt, but upon meeting the eyes of the elder prince, he quickly reasoned that it’d be better to drop the weapon, as Prince Xander bore no visible wounds on himself or his horse.

“No way… You’re Prince Takumi? What are you doing here?” said the Nohrian Prince, his voice conveyed a mix of sheer apprehension and surprise.

…

 

 

CORRIN

“… I can’t believe that they did this you. This is what happens when men like Iago are given too much power”, said her big brother as he examined her face closely, distressed over the loss of her right eye, but he attempted to remain collected in spite of this.

Xander only knew that Corrin lost her right eye when she stepped into Iago’s camp after she escaped the hoshidans, Leo told him as much; and with all of Iago’s long history of hating Corrin, it was easy to say that it was all his fault—and it was—. Xander didn’t have a hard time learning the details, satisfied with the explanation given by his brother, perfectly plausible.

However, Takumi was a different story altogether. It was hard to make believe that Corrin crossing her path with the kidnapped Takumi was merely a coincidence, so Xander would be reasonably suspicious. Not to mention that Corrin had been apart from her Nohrian family for months… it worried Corrin that Xander would think too much about the things that obviously happened while she was a hostage to Hoshido.

She watched Xander pace a little, his tall brooding figure contrasted starkly in the grays and whites of the infirmary room, he absorbed their mutual silence for a bit, and she casually groaned in pain when she moved from her bed, she couldn’t stop feeling the ghosts of the cuts of the wyrmslayer on her recently-closed wounds.

Of course, her injuries were quickly taken care of with healing magic, although she’d need to take it easy with her right leg for a few days. Takumi was also tended, but he was also taken back into his room, as he was overwhelmed with the battle that took place and the presence of Xander… Corrin knew it was for the best, after witnessing the real extent of Takumi’s despair…

“As for prince Takumi, he has my gratitude for saving your life”, Xander spoke, pacing back to Corrin with a pensive look on his stern face. “However, that only begs for the question, little princess: What are you going to do with him? What is he? A hostage? A spy? An ally?”

Corrin suspected that Xander requested Leo to leave them alone, so she was going to answer everything on her own now and attempt her best to not contradict any facts given.

“… We intend to keep him hidden for now”, she answered after licking her bruised lips. “I decided long ago that I’d help to end this war without unnecessary bloodshed, and Takumi is going to help us to do that part.”

“I see, so you plan on using him to bargain with the royals in order to find an agreement between our kingdoms… however, as things are right now, I doubt it. It’d be next to impossible to persuade Father into accepting such a diplomatic idea.”

“Yes, I’ve been thinking about that too. I… wished to talk about this with you before taking another decision.”

Xander sighed through his nose. “I’ve already heard Leo’s side of the story, about how Iago kidnapped Prince Takumi to lure out the other Hoshidan royals… and you got caught in the middle of his devious schemes; Iago obviously went to act on his own and this time took it way too far.”

“You’re saying it as if he’s never crossed such lines before, Xander.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“A man like him should have never been allowed to live for so long, let alone have such a great influence in the Nohrian army, and you know it. Yet King Garon even made him his tactician.” Corrin realized her words rolled out of her tongue tainted with aversion… even though she knew that her attitude would thread into a dangerous discussion that was meant for much later.

“I don’t agree with it either, as much as it bothers me, but you know that it’s not wise to defy Father’s will. You should give a try to understand him a little better, even when lately he’s been… less reasonable.”

But her blood had been boiling with this frustration and anger for too long, months in which she bottled up every single emotion and thought surrounding Nohr and its King, who Xander still acknowledged as his own Father. This was all the result of years of a sheltered —nearly suffocating—life inside a castle, being taught to fight and not kill, being told that there was only one way to look at the world just to become a tool for a war she never believed in… It was more than she could take.

Corrin gritted her teeth, but tried to not let it show. “I can try to understand”, she said with an unusually dark tone “but I don’t know if I can keep on pretending that I can forgive it. I don’t think that anything can ever excuse what he’s done.”

She was saying too much, she realized as Xander’s armor-clad steps strode towards her in the privacy of this room. His expression was unreadable. “… You have changed, little princess. I was afraid that after all this time, those hoshidans must’ve tried to brainwash you.”

And that was the last straw. She had to endure the relentless accusations of Ryoma, Takumi and Hinoka in the past, but now Xander?

“How dare you?” she scowled, feeling her head burning up as she met Xander’s eyes. She couldn’t help her injured body from shaking as she stood on her feet to face her Brother, vehemence unchained. “How _dare_ you to bring up brainwashing in my face when you know perfectly well that your ‘Father’ was the one who kidnapped me when I was still a child? And then made me forget everything about my past in Hoshido? And you honestly have the nerve of accusing THEM of brainwashing me? You should be thankful that I returned to you in the first place, Xander! You should be thankful that I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt for keeping all of this away from me, for all these years! And don’t try to take everything back, because you were the one who admitted it in the first place!”

And Corrin saw the frown on his stern face soften a little as he visibly lost color, he half-stepped backwards as she poured her angry heart out. She should’ve stopped, she should’ve stayed quiet, but she simply couldn’t take it anymore for the life of her. She needed him to give her a reason to trust him again, she needed it so badly.

“This is not the time to talk about this”, Xander said. This only infuriated her more.

“Then when will it be the time? You avoided me ever since that day at the Hoshidan Plains, when I proved my loyalty to Nohr! You avoided me after King Garon spared my life for a second time, right after he made it clear that he didn’t expect me to outlive my usefulness! You’re avoiding me now! So, Brother, when will you finally gather the courage to address this? When will we be able to speak about the things that King Garon has done to me?”

Corrin had never talked so loud to him, never been so unrestrained and emotional, just in the same way she faced Ryoma with a crucial matter, she felt as if her chest would explode with such ire and misery, it would take every ounce of her being to not give in to a violent outburst.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you!” she growled and tensed her shoulders, seeing how the Crown Prince turned his back on her suddenly. “At least answer to me! You owe me that much!”

“Corrin, this conversation is over.” But when Xander spoke, his voice had such force and authority, it managed to chip into her confidence, making her legs tremble momentarily. It wasn’t fear, as much as it was just part of her conditioning from years of being his little sister. “I’ll leave you be. But for your own sake, for your retainers, for Prince Takumi, you have to remain with low profile… Father _cannot_ know that you’re here if you want to keep living.”

He walked into the room’s door and opened it, so she instinctively got up from the bed, even though her body protested to the pain…

“Where are you going?”

For one second, Xander turned his face to look at her, and his expression was so painful, so difficult to read and understand. She’d seen that expression in his face so many times throughout all those years they grew up together, but she’s never been able to tell what it meant. But now…

“I don’t need to disclose that to you, do I?” Xander said, his words had this cynical tune dancing along them. “I admit, I don’t know what you’re planning, little princess, but you’ve given me no choice but to be wary of you.”

“Funny, how you can be wary of me, but you cannot question the man who’d kill his own children.”

She expected to touch a nerve with her words, expected Xander to react, but she was distressingly aware of how far she went, too later to take it back. She briefly feared the repercussions of her taunting. But Xander didn’t move.

“… Funny, how you think that I ever had any choice on the matter.”

And with those words, Xander parted from the room, closing the door behind him. Corrin let out her shaky breath and nearly let her legs collapse on the ground, feeling the cold sweat bathing her neck and face. She almost felt dizzy after Xander was gone, as if all the choler that Xander provoked on her deflated as soon as the bitter meaning of his words struck her.   

She understood now what that mysterious and sad expression had meant all along, because Xander, of all people, was the one who feared King Garon the most. And what was worse, that man wasn’t even his Father.

And she couldn’t tell him the truth. _Oh Gods_ , she couldn’t do it.

…

 

 

TAKUMI

He was put back in his room and locked up as soon as they were escorted back to the fortress, his mind was in shambles and his body in pain. He was too tired to protest when one of Corrin’s retainers—a maid named Felicia—approached him to tend his twisted ankle, also take off his dirty clothes to rinse off the blood from his body; he was really too tired to even feel the normal sting of humiliation for being so taken care of.

Azura came afterwards and she tried to interrogate him about what just went down with Xander, but he curled up inside his bed and refused to talk to her. She could only scrutinize him with that knowing look, and until his silence made it evident, she resigned herself to stop her questions and leave him alone. She’d have better luck asking Corrin in that regard, if she dared.

_‘How dare you?’_

He was surprised by the loud voice that rumbled through the stone walls and reached to him. That was definitely Corrin’s and she sounded upset. Wasn’t she talking to her ‘Brother’ Xander? So why did she use that tone…? Then again, he could only imagine what happened between them. Corrin’s relationship with her nohrian siblings was probably not as perfect as he pictured.

Takumi could have paid more attention to what he listened, but he was so heavily exhausted to get up from bed and rest his ear against the walls.

He spent the rest of the day in isolation, silently concentrating on his breathing and trying to suppress the intrusive thoughts of death and love and self-loathing. He could still feel the blunt tip of a knife against his stomach, the fear of having a painful death overcoming the wish to end his disgraced life.

Somehow, thinking of Corrin kept him busy enough to stop his mind from falling apart. She saved him again, broke down in front of him and then he saved her life… The livid look on her face when she yelled and begged him to forgive her still haunted him, even more than what happened before that.

Takumi dearly loved her and hated her, wanted to protect her and save her, yet he also felt so profoundly terrified of her. Corrin was, after all, a Dragon in every sense of the word.

…

 

 

He dreamed of scales, dreamed of claws and blood and sweat, a grisly wound inside of him twitching open and closed as his mind refused to give a defined form to that night terror. Except that his heart wasn’t only filled with dread, it was also languish and yearning, a slow corruption of his sensations when he sought for the smallest comfort in order the drown the stains in his body.

But those stains would never go away.

A panicked shiver ran through his spine and he started to struggle against the weight of that body full of scales, screaming, striking at it with his fists, telling it how nothing of this would help him to heal, because it was true: there was nothing in this world that could do it and he hated himself for wanting to find solace anyway.

The scaly body refused to let him go, refused to stop clinging at him. But he wasn’t screaming anymore as he was invaded by this old familiar sense of resignation, because he was too hurt and too tired to reject it anymore. He didn’t care anymore if it hurt, he just let it be, let it explore that gaping wound within him, awaken the hidden feelings that he learned to fear so much.

It was Corrin, it was Scarlet, it was his Mother… they were all bleeding through him and he couldn’t stop it, he could just lean into their presence and ease his mind back into consciousness.

…

 

 

The following morning he was startled when he found out that Prince Leo was in his room, sitting nonchalantly on a chair while reading a book. There was no time to think about dreams, as Takumi was filled with immediate alertness and dread.

The blond youth wasn’t wearing his black armor, rather just a dark blue tunic and white tights, and he didn’t have any guards or servants to accompany him. They were just the two of them alone. _Of all the people that I didn’t want to be left alone inside a room_.

Prince Leo noticed his tension and put down his book to exchange gazes with him as he slowly got up from the chair without making a sound; his movements were deliberate and careful, as if the ground was made of paper. Still, Takumi had no reason to expect anything good from this guy. Takumi just limited himself to follow the nohrian intently with his eyes, his hands tightly clasped on the bedsheets—strangely damp to the touch—as if to hold himself together or maybe to resist the urge of jumping on to attack Leo in a fit of rage.

Leo sighed, “I’m not here to talk to you with my face down, but I know that I owe you an apology.”

He could never have predicted that those would be the first words that Prince Leo would whisper.  However, this wasn’t enough, and his soul was too full of spite and distrust to simply swallow those words.

“… It’s not nice to hold your head high when you’re trying to apologize. Just tell me what you want, because you don’t seem like the kind of guy who’d just talk to a prisoner just to say ‘sorry’.”

Another sigh, this time the nohrian prince awkwardly inclined his back a little forward, while not breaking eye-contact with Takumi.

“Better?”

He couldn’t help but to admit that he felt amused, even if just a bit. Takumi sneered at Prince Leo. “I’d ask you to get on your knees too but I think I’d be taking it too far.”

“ _Alright_ , I’m taking the apology back.”

“Sounds good to me. I didn’t even want it.”

“Damn you. Why do you have to be such an insufferable brat? I can’t see how she manages to withstand you at all.” Of course, Prince Leo meant Azura—Corrin was a stretch—, but that aside the point, the bitterness they felt for each other was exacerbated with merely a few words.

Regardless of what Prince Leo’s intentions here, how could he expect anything other than disdain after everything that he said to Takumi? 

“Maybe I have yet no reasons to show kindness to someone like you. Your people did this to me. I’m not going to forgive or forget that anytime soon…” Takumi said, his throat growing hotter with each new spiteful word. “Not to mention that you’re still planning to lead your forces into my country under your King’s command, no matter if you close your eyes tightly and repeat inside your head that you’re doing it for the good of both countries, when in truth it only benefits your personal interests. Your hands would still reek with the blood of my friends and my family if you carried on, because no matter the truth, no matter what happened to me, my people won’t let you through without a fight.”

Leo squinted and pressed his lips together with his face looking away, as if he just received a slap on his face. The frustration he felt was palpable, he even seemed a little vulnerable; there was such pain and emptiness ensued with an expression like that, he never thought he’d ever see a nohrian wielding it, let alone, a Nohrian Prince.

“… You were right about me. I care too much about my family, so much that I’d be willing to dispose of the lives of many just for their sake. But that’s just how we were taught to be, in order to survive, in order to protect what we love. The Nohrian Court was unforgiving, and its ways are not easy to unlearn, I admit”, said Leo, his voice lower than before, it became so small that it was almost hard to listen. But Takumi did listen, and very carefully.

“Azura spoke about the Nohrian Court a few times, but I always assumed that it was only her who suffered because of it.” His skin crawled whenever he remembered Azura’s tales about scars she carefully concealed most of her life; he was always too stupid and proud to fully comprehend what she endured. Did Leo participate in her suffering or was he also…?

“I never knew how much she was targeted until after she was gone. Now I realize that it was a good thing that she was taken into Hoshido…”, Leo said, even softer this time, and his gaze was now more distant, even melancholic. Takumi could tell that it was hard for him to say all these things, given his background and how he acted before.

Corrin couldn’t have possibly grown to be a kind—yet atrociously naïve—person if she never had good people on her side to teach her those values. Now Takumi could catch a small glimpse of who the Nohrian Royals truly were, and why Corrin chose to fight for them despite everything. Fundamentally good people were capable of committing terrible deeds after all.

“I want to do what’s right by both sides, but there’s a price for it. I may lose everything I fought so hard to protect, and I cannot possibly make that choice before I can prove that my real Father, the _real_ King Garon, is dead… You may have a hard time believing this, but when I was a child, he wasn’t anything like that monster. He was a stern but just man and a loving father. I only regret not being able to realize it before. My Father is long-gone now.”

Takumi tightened his grip on his bedsheets, feeling a sting of envy for Leo’s love towards his family and the fact that he loved his Father enough to be fooled so cruelly.

“You love your family and your country, I can respect that… and I can only imagine how hard it must be. But somebody has to do it. You know what choice will lead to less bloodshed, don’t you? I trust you are smart enough to understand that, even if it’s not an easy choice.” Within that exchange, his eyes slowly widened as he examined Leo’s eyes a little better, the acquiescence wielded in his tired expression, it could’ve had thousands of different meanings, yet suddenly Takumi felt so certain of what it meant. “Wait a minute… You’re not actually considering on murdering that Impostor yourself, are you?”

Leo snickered quietly and shook his head, not entirely dismissive. “I’m afraid that I’m not all that selfless or brave, because in truth, there’s only a few ways in which we can execute that bastard and it requires more than just wits and well-timed entrances. Now, _this_ is what I wanted to talk to you about…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter should have a Ryoma POV, because he's been very absent lately and I missed writing the guy? That's something you can look forward next week.


	23. Failures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if I barely made it before the deadline, I've been through a busy week. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

CORRIN

After her last encounter with Xander, her heart had grown restless; since Xander’s army came to join Leo’s forces it’d get harder to hide Takumi—not that Xander would try to expose him, but the possibility of the Garon’s spies roaming around was still very real—. Leo briefly mentioned to her that he’d think of moving them out to a more secluded place where they could be safer from prying eyes.

During the following days after Xander’s arrival, she felt hunger and paranoia, her routine was divided between watchful visits to the infirmary to see Gunter’s condition and talk to Elise while politely rejecting her invitations to go out and play. Corrin would lock herself up in the infirmary and keep on requesting for food, sometimes forgetting that she abused her own privilege over food rations… she just couldn’t find anything else to do to calm her nerves; too anxious to go out to train or walk, fearing that she’d have to meet with Xander or Camilla. She was also bothered lately by the way in which Leo’s soldiers stared at her when she walked down the halls of the little fortress, murmuring at each other when she caught their hostile glances, as if she was some sort of monster.

She rarely ever felt like this, both overstimulated and languid, hating everything that was constantly happening around her and being unable to relieve her tension. It was like the walls of the fortress would eventually clamp down on her. Her belated homesickness and craving over Ryoma was mostly to blame; in the scarce moments she had for herself, she’d bite her own tongue to not enunciate his name, under no circumstance. She wished she could have learned better than to repeat the same mistakes, but she was frustratingly hopeless in the matters of the flesh and heart.

She needed to stop herself, even if only out of shame because of Takumi.

Corrin haven’t seen Takumi since that day and she still didn’t know how’d she approach him. Azura even mentioned that Leo had visited him a couple of times, and Corrin just wondered if those two had started to find a common ground.

Quickly, Corrin ran into his room and watched him sitting on the floor, reading what appeared to be a book Leo used to carry around. A tray of food was laid ignored on his left and it was past breakfast time. When Takumi’s eyes shot at her, the traces of alert faded into a frown and he only sighed.

“What are you doing here?” he grumbled, and Corrin did feel unwelcome for a moment, treading back to leave. “No, wait, don’t go, don’t—ugh, just come here and tell me what you want.”

She didn’t leave, but hesitated to come any closer. Takumi seemed to look better physically, but he was still very skinny and there were still dark bags under his eyes.

Azura did say that he had sleeping problems since she could remember, but lately he’s been less neglectful about his personal hygiene, even shaved that annoying stubble off his face. Takumi was wearing some of Leo’s clothes, she wondered if he was unaware of it or just didn’t care. She decided it’d be better to not bring it up.

“… We _really_ need to talk.”

And he nodded solemnly, he seemed more approachable than all the past times and that was a relief for Corrin. Timidly, she sat on the floor, not right next to him but he still tensed visibly at her closeness, and she responded by backing away a little. Then they were silent, stared at the room’s ceiling without saying anything while occasionally Corrin would turn to look at his untouched food tray.

“I never thanked you for saving my life”, Corrin said, after fidgeting long enough, her voice was awkwardly weak.

“You saved mine before. I only did what anyone would have done, really. But it’s nothing.”

“It means so much more than what you think.”

“No, it doesn’t. You saved my life and then I saved yours, it’s that simple.”

Despite his answer, Corrin remembered how in that moment, in the heat of the fight, Takumi ran away, and… she didn’t want to think about what happened next. She knew perfectly well what nearly happened back then, but in her mind it was nothing but a blur. Takumi probably didn’t have words to talk about it, and neither did she. The only thing that mattered was that they both avoided the worst outcome.

“I… don’t want you to think that I only saved you because I want you to forgive me. I admit, part of me was desperate, it was the only thing I could think about. I only felt ashamed and guilty and I couldn’t stand the thought of being unforgivable in your eyes… I put my own feelings above yours and I couldn’t realize how damaging it was for you. It doesn’t change the fact that I still care about you, a lot. I know that you’ve heard this from me dozens of times already, but I’m so sorry, Takumi.”

Takumi closed his eyes, resting the back of his head against the wall. “… Just don’t waste your breath doing it again, alright?”

 _Agreed_. Enough was enough, and she couldn’t force forgiveness out of him just by being nice. Certainly, it helped her to let all of that out of her chest, but did it help Takumi to hear it?

More importantly, she looked at him, and still felt bothered by his gaunt frame, she could even see his bones through his pale skin.

“Aren’t you going to finish your food?”

“I’m not really hungry today. I’m tired”, Takumi replied, eyeing the food on his side. He seemed annoyed at her remark, but she didn’t let it hold her back.

“I know that you’re not fond of your situation—nobody is—, but please eat some more. You’re too skinny.”

He groaned. “Well, then you should eat less, because I can see that you’re getting fat.”

Corrin tried to not take the bait, he obviously considered her concern as meddlesome and wanted to drive her away with his demeanor. “It’s true that I’ve been eating a little more than usual, but there’s no need to be rude”, she simply said. “Please, eat.”

Takumi grumbled something inside his teeth as he grabbed the piece of bread on his food tray and aggressively ate it, didn’t even savor it, probably just to spite her. “Don’t eat too fast!” she complained, and he briefly stared at her like some mad child. “Stop that.”

He stopped, but when he swallowed and drank a bit of the water jar on the tray, he seemed suddenly so pensive. There was something like a bitter smile forming on his lips.

“Even now, you’re speaking as if you were my mother. No, more like a big sister.”

His words made her heart skip a beat. “Does that bother you?”

“You can do whatever you want, I think you’ve proved yourself quite enough”, Takumi replied, wiping his mouth from bread crumbs and allowed himself to take a deep breath. “… You know, I heard some of your bantering with prince Xander that day. It was awfully courageous of you.”

“… Honestly, facing him like that made me remember that fateful day at the Hoshidan Plains. In that moment I made my choice, but so many polarizing thoughts swirled within my head. I wonder if siding with Hoshido from the start would have given me the courage to tell Xander all those things.”

“I don’t understand you.”

“Hm?”

“You could have chosen to stay in Hoshido, fight for us, we could have been a real family again… you could have been free. None of this would’ve happened.”

The yearning, the jealousy and the regret showered his new words, and it stung her to know of his sincerity. He was right about everything, but it didn’t mean that it would’ve been easier or better.

“In the same way that I had to fight you, I would have fought against Leo, Elise, Xander and Camilla. It wouldn’t have broken my heart any less.”

“… They could have tried to kill you, imprison you, everything that we also tried to do to you. I really don’t envy your place in that regard.” There was a glint of guilt reflected on his colorless face; Corrin didn’t know how to feel about his words, and she didn’t know if he was wrong, but he was being entirely truthful.

“Nevertheless, what’s done it’s done”, she concluded. “We’ve come this far and we don’t have the luxury to ponder of what would have been. I made my choices, and I’ll have to see them through, no matter what.”

“Even if you could lose everything that you care about?”

“I have to try.” After her answer, she tried to scrutinize his face, but she couldn’t deduce exactly what Takumi felt. She was at least glad that he talked back to her, which was honestly more than what she expected, as she had lost that hope the day in which she had to face him after his horrible ordeal. Corrin smiled. “I was almost certain that I’d lose you, yet here you are. If I lost you, I wouldn’t know what to do.”

To that, his eyes widened and he stared at her with sheer bewilderment. But he didn’t say anything, just turned his head away from her and back, as if he couldn’t decide what to answer. She should’ve known that he’d get flustered like that, and she resisted the urge to laugh it off.

After he finished eating what he had on his food tray, she felt that his gaze was different, as he became more silent and contemplative, as if something entirely new was troubling him.

“I wanted to ask you something.”

“Alright?” Corrin tilted her head a little.

“Do you really _love_ Ryoma?”

Her mouth went dry, she suddenly wished that Takumi didn’t finish the jar of water. It was like her heart would sink, but she remained calm. _It was bound to happen eventually_ , she reminded herself, _I cannot run away now_. Even if this was what shattered them before, their hearts were already used to the fracture, and they could manage.

“…Yes”, Corrin answered.

“Do you want to _be_ with him?”

“… No.”

“Then, what will you do when you face him again?”

“I… I don’t know if there’s anything I can do, I’m not even sure if I should stay after all that’s happened, because it’s impossible to return to normal. But I want him to be happy.”

“What you want and what he wants might not be the same thing.” Corrin bit her lower lip upon hearing this, her chest felt so heavy. Truly, Ryoma wasn’t a man who cared about his own happiness. “But you do have a point; there’s no way that we can go back to the way we used to be—meant to be—, so… what kind of happiness do you desire for him, exactly? Do you think he will be happy with you gone?”

“I’m not the right person for him, Takumi. You know that. You said it yourself: what we did was very wrong. We were just two dumb adults trying to find comfort in the middle of a war, but no matter how much I love him, it doesn’t mean that we’re good for each other.”

Her own words dried up her throat. All these things she already knew but could never talk to with anyone else. Takumi was the only one who knew it, the only one who’d hear her, and the one who was hurt the most by of it.

“Besides, you’re still brother and sister. It was as wrong as it could get”, he murmured. The scars of this trauma still tainted his voice, and Corrin only felt surprised that he could keep such serenity.

“I know… which only makes loving him all the more jarring”, Corrin sighed, still with a burdensome heart. “I understand if you cannot accept that. I know that I wouldn’t if I were in your place too.”

Takumi merely grunted, and she saw how he shook his head, seemingly frustrated.  “I’m still trying to make sense out of that. But in all honesty, I have never fallen in love… nor do I intend to. I only want to understand.”

…

 

 

RYOMA

Hinoka laid feverish on bed for two days due an arrow wound. Hinoka crossed the border to Mokushu and enemy archers tried to shoot her down. The injury itself wasn’t deep but her health decreased considerably due her exhaustion during her relentless crusade for Corrin… Ryoma nearly feared for the worst when the Kinshi Knights brought her back bloody and completely out of it.

Sakura cried out of sadness and anger throughout the entire time that Hinoka was unconscious, and Ryoma felt shocked, for he never in his life had seen Sakura angry.

The past few weeks, he had made genuine efforts to comfort Sakura at the absence of all their siblings, but Ryoma always sensed that she was uncomfortable and couldn’t truly open up to him. Ryoma felt like a failure for not knowing how to make his own little sister feel at ease, which spoke volumes about his absence during Sakura’s growth. Just like Hinoka, Ryoma dedicated his life to training and, for that, neglected Takumi and Sakura during most of their childhoods.

Such absurdity, how he strived to become like King Sumeragi, yet failed to become a proper fatherly figure to them when they needed it the most.

His forces remained on Fort Jinya, before Hinoka’s return, there had been no hostile movements from the Nohrian Army and no news regarding Corrin’s or Takumi’s whereabouts. He received reports about King Garon’s main tactician suddenly killed during a bandit raid, but details were vague and but in his heart he knew that Corrin must’ve been involved in that event, he _really_ hoped it was. If he didn’t have hope, then he had nothing.

Ryoma started to hear the council’s critics about his decision to stand his ground and wait, but Yukimura encouraged Ryoma to maintain his forces in place and be prepared, wait for them to move first would be the ideal. As for Takumi’s kidnapping and Corrin’s departure, people were jumping into wild conclusions, all beyond Ryoma’s control… He couldn’t just tell them that Corrin ran off to save his little brother, plenty of people would think that he went insane by trusting a traitor with such a task.

He visited Hinoka after a long heated war meeting, he even skipped his daily meditation routine just to meet with her. She was no longer asleep or delirious on bed, and Sakura wasn’t there to tend her… Hinoka, who reeked of medicine and blood and sweat, stared with bitterness at her brother when he sat to her futon’s side.

“You didn’t have to send her away”, Hinoka said, her voice was cracking, churning his stomach. It’s been so long since he’s seen Hinoka so vulnerable, and he was partly to blame for it. “She’s… she’s all we had left. I am thinking of Takumi too, but how is it alright to send Corrin to save him? What if she never returns? What if everything we’ve done for her sake has been in vain? You can’t simply bring her back to our family with a ray hope and then take her away as soon as something bad happens! It wasn’t her fault that Takumi got captured!”

Ryoma sighed softly, “I don’t blame her for what happened to Takumi. Corrin actually blamed herself for Takumi’s capture and she took responsibility for it, even when she didn’t have to.” His own voice lost force, but he continued. “Would it have been wrong of me to deny her of making this choice?”

“You chose to let her go on her own! D-don’t act as if you suddenly don’t hold any responsibility on her actions!” Hinoka cried at him, her fists were shaking with anger, but she quickly tried to loosen up that tension on her body. She looked away and Ryoma detected how her demeanor changed dramatically. “It… it’s just not fair…!”

He couldn’t find the right words to comfort Hinoka, and probably they didn’t even exist. Hinoka didn’t give herself the time to cool down and contemplate since Takumi was taken and Corrin gone once more, and Ryoma couldn’t say that he handled this misery any better. But this sadness came from beyond these troubles, as they took root long before it happened. Ryoma and Hinoka silently acknowledged this, their minds synchronized to the memories of recent events.

“… In the end Corrin never felt like she belonged, did she? Forcing her to stay with us, preparing for war against the nohrians that raised her… She’s just not the little sister we knew anymore, no matter how hard we wanted her to be. The moment that you revealed the truth to me, Ryoma, I would have given up anything to deny it. I didn’t want to think that I tormented Corrin for a lie, it’s so unfair. You could have at least said something before.”

“But after losing Mother, how could I? Corrin was all we had left… But you’re also right: no matter how we painstakingly try to put the pieces back together, we cannot become the same family that we were many years ago. It was wrong of me to pursue that idealized dream before letting our hearts heal.”

Hinoka grimaced, “We didn’t even stop to mend the family that we still had. Corrin… wasn’t _everything_ , and we failed to see that.” The pit in Ryoma’s stomach deepened.

“In return, we neglected our younger siblings. They deserved a good family, but we dragged them into our affliction.” Because of their obsession with Corrin, they fractured their own family, and though many things played into it, they ultimately had themselves to blame. Ryoma bowed his head heavily, feeling his eyelids itchy. “Hinoka, will you ever forgive me?”

She looked back at him, her eyes dulled by grief. “I will, but only when we get our siblings back.”

…

 

 

CORRIN

Leo told her that they’d meet early next morning outside the camp with Azura and the rest of their retainers to discuss and organize their plan once more, given that Leo couldn’t speak of it anymore while Elise, Camilla and Xander were constantly around them.

Their family was finally reunited and yet she felt like they could not be more apart than ever. They were at the verge of planning an attack on Hoshido’s borders, and there was nothing she could do but to play along and remain in low-profile, do her best to not arise suspicion about Leo’s plans; she was prepared to take the fall in case that the worst happened.

Corrin felt swollen and ill, having started the day with a cramping pain and a terrible craving for food. She sneaked out of the food supplies a few peaches while she could still sense the eyes of the whole world on her back. Every single pair of eyes that existed judged her, and she couldn’t help but to feel dirty and helpless.

As Corrin headed back to the infirmary, she could sense Camilla’s stare when she walked across the fort’s quiet courtyard. Lovely Camilla, she always stood out with her womanly charms, like some deadly and beautiful flower amidst the blackness of the night, and she was always so aware of how the world perceived her.

Corrin needed to walk past her to get to the infirmary, unfortunately. She didn’t have the heart to turn back.

Just like it happened with Xander, Corrin’s perception on her nohrian sister had changed dramatically in the last few months. And if she recalled correctly, Camilla was taking care of Elise the day in which Corrin surrendered herself to Ryoma; it was worth imagining the amount of impotence and pain Camilla must’ve felt after that incident, because if Camilla had been present right there, she would’ve run on a killing spree before letting them have Corrin… and this is what scared her.

Since the war started, she became witness of a side of her big sister that stirred her worst nightmares, and it was hard to reconcile the doting woman with the ruthless war beast...  This had been the reflection of what Corrin had wanted to change from Nohr; changing Camilla would mean that changing Nohr was possible… It might’ve as well been just another of her delusions.

Would Camilla show her anger? Her tears? Would she evade her questions just like Xander did? With Camilla, it was harder to tell what would happen.

With an increasing pace, Corrin tried to avoid eye-contact with her sister, but as she tried to run past her an iron grip hand grabbed her arm and stopped Corrin’s tracks abruptly.

“Don’t go. Not yet. Just stay still for a minute, I want to take a good look at you.”

The voice of Camilla, tender like velvet, and suddenly two hands were cupping her face firmly while staring at her lovingly. Corrin could still recognize the scent of roses and soap from her big sister, and despite their circumstances, Camilla seemed disturbingly unchanged after months they spent apart. However, Corrin could now see how wistful that little smile truly was. She was finally pulled into a tight embrace, and Camilla’s hands gently brushed the back of her head, the sensation was so comforting that it relaxed her body a little.

This was the tenderness that Corrin grew up with, the unrestrained hungry love of the sister who practically raised her, and in her heart she knew that it couldn’t be a lie.

Camilla’s whispers continued caressing her ear. “You’re finally back with me, I can’t believe that you’re finally back, my sweet, sweet little Corrin. And you’ve grown so much too!”

“I, um, only recovered some weight.”

“And lost one eye… I only wish I could’ve killed the animal who did this to you…”

“Y-yeah…”

“But you’ve really changed. You’re more of like a grown woman now… Soon, I won’t be able to spoil you like this.”

“You don’t have to—”

“—I will. You probably want to visit your _other_ little brother soon after. That’s fine, I’m not a very jealous person.”

“Camilla, it’s fine. _It’s fine_.”

As she was held, Camilla’s fingers tensed nervously, because there was no way in which everything was fine. She’d have to break this peace eventually.

“… Why didn’t you or Xander say anything before?”, Corrin murmured,  her head falling over Camilla’s shoulder. Her words were spoken so softly and effortlessly, but maybe that was only because they were this close to each other. “Were you told by… F-father to never speak the truth?”

The nohrian princess sighed lightly. “Sadly, he didn’t even need to tell us what to do. And part of me couldn’t bear the idea of reminding you of that sorrow. I only wanted you to have all the love that should’ve been always yours, because it’s the least I could do for you; this world was too lonely already for a small creature like you. But that was selfish of me, wasn’t it? Xander and I, we were both so, so selfish… keeping you only for ourselves.” Camilla’s hands were petting her head so softly, the same motherly manner that they always did. “I cannot help but to feel like it’s not those hoshidans who were taking you away from us… Maybe it’s us who are driving you away? Do we truly appear so monstrous to you now that you know the whole truth?”

She seemed completely calm, but Corrin’s sensed were telling to choose her following words more carefully, as Camilla was hiding vulnerability and dread behind her gentle façade.

“I’d be lying if I said that nothing has changed what I feel for you or our family… But despite everything, I’m glad that I met you. I’m glad that you’re someone I can call my sister, Camilla.”

Camilla kissed Corrin’s head before rocking her body in one last embrace. “I’d really love to keep you all for myself though. I’m afraid that if I let go, then I’ll be forced to do something that I don’t want to do.”

“Camilla…”

It wasn’t her fault. This is how she was taught to be. This is how she coped from all the years of abuse and abandonment. Just like Xander, Camilla didn’t seem to have other choice but to obey Father even if it meant that her soul would be cracked more and more.

Corrin wondered what would have happened if she chose Hoshido instead. Would Camilla have gone mad and desperate just like Ryoma did? Or would she do so anyway if she found out the truth? In her heart, Corrin wanted to believe that Camilla would understand, her love and obsession would be manipulated for a greater good… but what would that make of Corrin herself?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LO! Corrin and Takumi finally speak to each other like normal people! (You can also see how Takumi still lowkey hates Corrin's bullshit though).  
> I'm also aware that this is the first time I've used Camilla inside the story, and it's pretty hard to give each sibling space and development (not for this kind of story anyway, besides that it'd take a lot more time for me). Also, I've been reading some interesting metas about Hinoka and Ryoma's relationship, which influenced me greatly while writing this chapter, which are  
> http://hotlineaisui.tumblr.com/post/150959615590/  
> and http://hotlineaisui.tumblr.com/post/150960353695/  
> I highly recommend reading hotlineaisui and detrimentslament 's metas about FE:F, which have been incredibly helpful when I tried to write about my lobster husband (and now I feel bad for not mentioning either of them until now).


	24. Bitterness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very sorry for the late update, I have been so busy lately and it's getting harder for me to concentrate.  
> But alright, I can't promise I'll make a quick update after this, because I've been also finishing to draft the climax of this current arc plus the epilogue, which means that there's only 5 or 6 more chapters to go for this fanfic. I'll probably post the next chapter when I have at least two more ready beforehand. I don't know how long will that be... I'm sorry.
> 
> Anyway, I hope to be able to make the best out of the last few chapters left, because I really have enjoyed writing all of this. I feel like I've grown a lot as a writer and it made me such a happy girl to see the amount of support I've got from all of you. I promise to not let you down!

TAKUMI

Late at night, a mischievous-looking man with an eyepatch entered his room, the same man that Prince Leo told him that would come to take him to the fort’s hidden basement, where they would all meet to finish discussing the rest of their plan fully. Azura, Corrin and their retainers would be there too.

Takumi was aware of the dangers of plotting in secret, as nohrian law was particularly ruthless when it came to matters of treason, as even royals would meet dire consequences due their actions, no matter how small. In Hoshido, treason was punished in varying degrees in accord to their severity, and in a few occasions would end in capital execution—Queen Mikoto had been just and forgiving, but stern when times demanded it, for she had been a victim of ill-meaning intrigues ever since she took over Hoshido’s throne—. But apparently, the slightest suspicion or the most off-handed accusation of betrayal in the Nohrian Court, it would end in swift death. It didn’t surprise Takumi to learn that.

The man with the eyepatch escorted Takumi in silent instruction to that place below the fort’s yard, the entrance to the underground was so well-hidden that it was surprising at all that anyone was able to notice it in the first place. The tunnel they entered was so helplessly dark and stunk with humidity, he tried to not panic as he suddenly couldn’t sense which direction to walk into, the faint sense of dread crawled over his mind when he involuntarily thought of this as some sort of trap. But then, the eyepatch-man lighted a match, weakly illuminating the passage, pressing him to pick up the pace with an annoyed tone. They didn’t even walk for a whole minute before they found another door, a warm light coming from the gap between the door and the floor.

When they entered the room, it was filled with crates and barrels, dust and spider webs, but candles everywhere enough to reveal the presence of all the people inside. Corrin was sitting on a sturdy box wearing a simple black tunic, her only eye shone when she saw Takumi. Azura, Gunter, Jakob and Felicia were here too, Leo and his second retainer were standing next to a table, vigilant of the newly arrived guest. The table contained a long elegant-looking box, obviously important if Leo’s hand rested on top of it.

And after a moment of explanation, Prince Leo opened the chest, revealing the existence of two sacred weapons. The Fujin Yumi and the Blade Yato, shimmering with a brand-new splendor. Takumi’s heart skipped a beat, and couldn’t help but to stare back at Leo in anticipation.

Last time, Leo did mention that he retrieved the Fujin Yumi from Iago, intending to keep it safe for as long as Takumi remained a hostage. However… there was a purpose why would they let him have his sacred bow again and it was crucial to end this long war.

“Are you sure that this is going to work?” he asked, the weight of the weapon was so much heavier than he remembered, feeling an eager pulse cursing through its elegant ivory form.

He couldn’t retaliate and attack everyone even if he wanted to, he was one against eight people in one closed room. Even the most skilled archer would be in disproportionate disadvantage in a place like this.

“The Seal of Flames is supposed to awaken through the power of other legendary weapons, like my Brynhildr, like your Fujin Yumi. If anything that the ancient texts say it’s true, then the Yato should be powerful enough to slay the Impostor.” Leo explained. In that fraction of a second, Takumi watched how Corrin’s grip on the Yato’s golden handle tensed a little. Leo paced towards Azura, who so far had remained mostly untouched by the candle light… as if she deliberately had wanted to avoid to be seen. “Before that, Azura is going to help us to reveal his real identity through a different method.”

“Is such a thing possible?”

“… My song.” Somehow, Azura’s voice sounded off. “Under specific circumstances I could use the magic of my pendant with my song to debilitate the illusion he maintains, even if just a little.”

Something didn’t feel right about this. Takumi couldn’t see the eyes of the songstress from the place he was standing on.

“Azura, you could have done that in the first place, but why did you keep so quiet about it until now?”, he calmly asked. Azura didn’t respond right away.

“I have my own reasons, but I’m aware that it was wrong of me to keep it to myself. This power… is a last-resource for me, and I wouldn’t just use it unless I had no other choice.” Takumi frowned, frustrated over her inability to be anything other than mystifying, that he couldn’t read her expression through the heavy shadows. Everyone became a little anxious after she spoke, particularly Corrin.

“… Will you be alright?”

“Yes. I’ll be able to handle it.”

Even if it was obvious that Azura’s words weren’t convincing anyone, there was a time and place to discuss whether Azura was hiding anything else or not, as Leo pressed them to move on. But Takumi knew that Azura was always like this, always ambiguous and of little words, and he forgot how infuriating it was to deal with her in the past too.

They began mapping out the rest of their plan for when King Garon arrived to the territory, assigning roles to each person accordingly, even encouraged Takumi to give his point of view on the strategy; Takumi felt useful for the first time in the past hellish weeks, and it was oddly comforting despite the adverse situation he was forced into. Not in his weirdest nightmares he’d have imagined to scheme beside a Nohrian Prince, but then again, so many unthinkable things have happened in the span of a few months.

During all that meeting, Takumi would often turn his gaze back at Corrin, who hardly contributed anything to the plans, not that she was discouraged or anything, but it was clear that she wasn’t in her field. She’d later draw back and sit to contemplate the Yato on her hands, scrutinizing it with the only eye she had left.

After they were done, they grabbed their sacred weapons again, experimented to hold them close to Corrin’s blade, called out their weapons, focused on their goals… they tried a number of things, but nothing would happen. They even consulted Azura and Corrin on the matter but to no avail, for they had no new answers in their search for the awakening of the Seal of Flames. Perhaps it could only be triggered when situation strained for it?

“It’s fine. I guess it’ll happen whenever it _needs_ to happen”, Corrin sighed in resignation, her tone was so unusually bitter.

When Corrin held Yato skyward to examine it again, Takumi thought that the sword looked so incredibly small compared to the last time that he saw her wielding it in battle.

“… Sometimes, I wish that the Yato didn’t choose me.”

“Why do you say that?” Leo asked, putting down his magic tome.

“It’s probably the most important of the legendary weapons and it had to fall upon me of all people. I think it’s horrifying.” There was some sort of cynic smile in her face, and Takumi could tell that she was in pain while holding the sword. “I was torturing myself with the thought that I needed to fill the role of heroine to become worthy of Yato, when the truth was that Yato never cared about my choices so long as I fooled myself into thinking that I wasn’t wrong. I could as well just bring the world to ruin and I’d still have the right to wield Yato, because… _it chose me_.”

Takumi’s lips were dry when she said that, feeling a spin in his stomach when a small piece of forgotten knowledge emerged from the back of his head. “I recall the legend mentioning that the Blade Yato could not only save the world, but would also destroy it if it fell on the wrong hands.” Why he didn’t remember this up until now, he was uncertain, but it brought up a new light to his past fears.

“That’s what I was afraid of”, Corrin gently put down the golden sword, and this time, she looked back at her brother Leo, then Takumi. “I couldn’t trust my own actions or judgement anymore, and when I had to surrender to Ryoma for Elise’s sake, I forfeited Yato and my responsibility. But in truth, both the expectations and burdens I carried with it, they must’ve given my naïve heart the impression that I could end the war by just staying true to my beliefs. I couldn’t fully see how badly I was hurting everyone with my naiveté… or maybe, I was unconsciously aware of it all along, and that’s why I decided to give myself up?” And then Corrin chuckled, but nobody found it funny, probably neither did she. Takumi saw with the corner of his eye the disturbed look on Prince Leo’s face, but then looked back at Corrin, playfully fidgeting with Yato’s handle. “See how indulgent the Yato is? It still accepts me as its rightful owner, I can feel it. What is this old blade even good for? Perhaps we were wrong for seeing them as sentient things. It is a legendary weapon, but a weapon nonetheless. How foolish of me, to give more importance to a weapon than to its master’s heart; without a master, the weapon is worthless.”

There was no denying that there was a glint of madness in her words, but at the same time, Takumi knew that this was the most bold and shrewd he’s ever heard from Corrin, and it was both scary and admirable in its own way. Had this bitterness been building up since that fateful day? Gods forgive her if the weapons had will of their own.

“Corrin…” Azura stepped into the light’s range, clearly more calm than the rest of the room’s occupants. “The sword has a purpose, and _you_ definitely need it more than it needs you. That sacred blade will serve to slay the monster hiding inside King Garon’s skin. You understand that, don’t you?”

Corrin nodded slowly, still looking at the Yato’s intricately sculpted hold. “… But that’s it, isn’t it? Awakening the Seal of Flames that the Rainbow Sage mentioned, and then…” Corrin suddenly stopped, her breath hitched a little, her fingers twisted around the weapon’s hilt. Her teeth bared when she spoke, even though she wasn’t angry. “I just want to end it. I want to end this war as soon as possible.”

Takumi looked down at his own weapon, pondering a little about everything that he’s ever thought to know about it and why he was chosen by the Fujin Yumi. If someone as Corrin could have the luxury of questioning a sacred weapon’s influence in her life, why shouldn’t he? He owed much of his pride to the legendary bow choosing him, but did it really make him a better person?

He recalled Sakura’s words about the matter. _I feel like I’ve seen you smile less._

He didn’t even need to try to hide it, becoming the master of the Fujin Yumi didn’t truly make him happy.

They attempted to awaken the Seal of Flames a couple of times more but without a change. He started to feel afraid.

…

 

 

At the end of the night Takumi couldn’t decide for whom he should feel more worried about, if for Corrin or for Azura. What kind of dark fate awaited both of these women? He had enough dead women floating inside his nightmares already.

While wrapping up and preparing to leave the hideout, Takumi approached Azura and decided to talk to her about what was in his mind. If he didn’t do it now, he probably wouldn’t get another chance. Their whispers would be lost within the shadows and dust. Azura moved around an old crate before she caught him begging for her attention.

“That song is bad news for you, isn’t it?” his voice was barely audible, but he could tell that she was paying attention. Her mouth trembled for one second before shutting it firmly. Takumi felt a little dizzy, no more words were necessary as he watched her eyes divert from him. “… I had a feeling about it.”

“Don’t misunderstand, I’d give up my life to end the war and defeat Garon, but I wouldn’t give up my life only for Nohr’s sake.” Takumi furrowed his brows, Azura had tilted her head in a way that the shadows obscured her expression. “Sadly, a part of me is still bitter and hurt, it’s so full of regret because of all the terrible things I lived through inside the Nohrian Court, because I’ve seen firsthand the true face of Nohr—yes, there are good people too, but not many of them in positions of power—. These feelings… I cannot control them.”

Her passivity, her silence… Never before he knew the full extent of Azura’s grief, not until now, when she shed light on her most hideous flaws, for even her had the capacity of bearing such ugly emotions. And he couldn’t blame her, for he would also have behaved similarly if he were in her place. Not to mention… for what she alluded, this song was dangerous for her. And what was worse: she wouldn’t say anything else about it so he could comprehend why was it so necessary to risk her life for one song.

“I don’t want you to die”, he whispered, he couldn’t breathe.

“I don’t want to die neither”, Azura replied, it was barely still a voice. “But I could have saved so many lives. I could have helped to end this war sooner if I was less selfish, less… proud. I even came up with a plan that would have birthed more grief and hatred than what it was worth, just because I didn’t want to die for the sake of Nohr.” 

Takumi couldn’t counter her words; Azura was being so painfully honest with herself and he couldn’t disagree with anything… and it only made him feel worse. Wasn’t there anything he could do?

Her hand cupped his face gently, and he watched Azura smile in the dim candle light. “Please, do not let these thoughts dwell on your sleep. You have enough nightmares to deal with already.”

He closed his eyes to not let that image burn into his mind, for he suddenly found it too painful to bear. For a moment, he felt afraid of opening his eyes again and see that she was gone forever, just like how Mother vanished from his life in the blink of an eye, just like Scarlet had to disappear the moment he looked away from her.

Eventually, he was parted from her, and even then, everyone had the same grim look on their faces, as the foreboding of something immense and beyond their control was about to unravel before them because of their course of actions.

But there was no doubt about it: the outcome weighed heavily on Corrin’s shoulders… there was nothing to envy about her luck. No matter how things fared, it’d be hard to see Corrin come out of this unchanged, if she didn’t change already.

…

 

 

AZURA

Every morning, Azura felt like she died a little more inside and the pendant that her mother gave to her hung heavier than ever… But she’s grown used to it already. Unfamiliar bed, unfamiliar faces, a striking feeling of impending doom… she knew that she couldn’t go back to Hoshido’s comforting light and tranquility.

None of this would last for long, she knew. She dreaded the coming of the moment in which she’d have to use the song her mother taught her in order to help vanquish the ancient evil that took residence in King Garon, the man who was supposed to be her Father too. She never looked at him as such and never tried to pretend that she liked him either, even before her mother’s passing… Her mother, Queen Arete, found out the truth a little too late after that marriage, and in the end, passed on that curse to Azura, as if she trusted her daughter’s to meet the wielder of the Seal of Flames. Azura started to believe in fate the day Corrin was chosen by the Yato.

It wasn’t easy though. Corrin had proved quite enough that she was far from an appropriate wielder for Yato. If Azura didn’t have faith, then she had nothing. She needed to believe that Corrin would be strong enough to swing that blade… so everything that Azura had to sacrifice wouldn’t be in vain.

When she finally managed to get out of bed, she tried to go to the kitchen’s larder in order to prepare Takumi’s food, just as she always did. However, speaking of the devil, she found Corrin right there too, passing by.

“Azura, can we talk?”

Azura did expect to see Corrin in a depressing mood after what happened last night, but today she even came off as vulnerable and anxious, her skin was sickly pale and her only eye red from the lack of sleep.

“… You look ill. Have you seen a healer yet?” It wasn’t fatigue, she seemed very much awake, and it wasn’t hunger either—Corrin clearly had eaten a lot more than usual lately…

Corrin stepped closer, “It’s not that. Please, just… listen to what I have to say. Please”, and with that said, she took Azura’s hands with an almost needy mien. Could it be about what they spoke about last night? Azura already had to talk about it with Takumi, and certainly Corrin would be more resilient…

“That’s alright, just tell me what is it”, she sighed.

Corrin’s mouth twisted. Her fingers fidgeted over her chest and her forehead seemed to be covered by a thin layer of sweat. Something was definitely wrong.

“I haven’t had my period for a while. I’m—I, I don’t know, maybe this is just a one-time thing, but I can’t stop thinking…”

“… When was it the last time?”

“It’s been nearly three months.” Corrin’s voice was breaking, and she suddenly didn’t have the gut to look at Azura in the eye as she entwined her own fingers together. “… I think that I might be pregnant.”

It wasn’t shock what she felt when those words left Corrin’s lips, it was more like a lingering weight that Azura carried inside her heart and it finally sunk into her stomach. The silent but unwanted anticipation for this to become a reality had haunted her hours after reading all the strange signs pointing to that direction—Corrin’s unwillingness to speak about what happened in her captivity opened windows to hideous interpretations—, and the rumors that persisted after Iago’s demise…

What parts of those rumors were lies and what parts were true? And what was Takumi’s role into anything of it?

Just now, Corrin gave ground to them, because she wouldn’t be afraid if nothing of the sort ever happened.

For the first time in a while, Azura’s mouth went dry and she was unable to answer Corrin for a few seconds, as her mind raced over all the reasons why Corrin had to come to her to tell her all of this. Did she trust Azura this much?

“Corrin, I know that it isn’t my business to pry, but if you want me to help you, you need to tell me what’s happened. There are some malicious rumors running about you around the army. You know this, don’t you?”

Right there, Corrin slowly nodded her head, tears swelling in her left eye uncontrollably. “Help me, Azura. I’m so scared…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Corrin is pregnant. In other news: water is wet.


	25. Kinship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I want to apologize for the long wait, because the past few weeks have been so busy and stressful IRL, and finding out a real good ending for this long fanfic was harder than what I anticipated. I literally had to map out 4 different endings, and trust me, I don't want to make a half-assed job for it, which should explain why the following 5 chapters will be content-heavy.
> 
> I also apologize for the lengthy chapter, longest I've written until now, I hope it's up to your expectations!
> 
>  
> 
> WARNING for discussion of pregnancy/abortion.

CORRIN

Her mouth was sour and dry, the spot covered by her eyepatch was itching while her left eye was flowing with water, the misery oppressed her chest so hard that it was difficult to breathe. She felt so unsightly before Azura, as the evidence of her biggest mistake was unveiled helplessly with each aching word.

Corrin didn’t know to whom else resort to first. Azura was a person who knew how to keep secrets, but was it the right thing to confide her on such an overwhelming problem?

It was easy to imagine Azura’s disgust, the fact that she was extremely good at concealing her emotions wasn’t helping her assumptions. At least Azura listened to her story in spite of the silent whimpers and troubled words, simultaneously too afraid of getting judged too hard—or just about right. Azura listened to everything and didn’t even blink at the end of the story.

“—It wasn’t Ryoma’s fault. Nothing of what they say about him is truth. You know him well enough”, Corrin said, her hands were twisting the fabric of her sleeves, the chills wouldn’t leave her body alone, her distress fed that painful heaviness in her stomach.

Azura gave a long sigh, her eyes were strangely cold. “No matter whose fault it was, you should think about what to do for the better of all, Corrin.”

“… What do you suggest?”

“I’m going to say something really harsh, so please listen carefully: In the heat of the battle, you cannot afford to care about an unborn child. You might as well lose it anyway if you get injured or for even less. I know, you wouldn’t be asking me for help if you weren’t looking for reassurance to keep that child, but I cannot lie to you about this.” Indeed, her words were severe, but there was a great anguish living in her voice, as if this wasn’t the first time she witnessed such a thing. And Corrin couldn’t say that Azura was entirely wrong, but still…

“Is it really that bad?”

Azura nodded. “… I could get you an abortifacient from the apothecary in case that you make up your mind, but in the end, it’s up to you to carry on. Whatever you choose, I’ll do my best to support you.”

…

 

 

TAKUMI

It wasn’t like he was enforced to spend all the time inside that lonely room, but he was simply mentally adjusted to the idea that he was a prisoner and needed to act as such, just as long as he was needed to play this role. Azura was the only constant visitor he’d get, and they still didn’t speak much, and they deliberately kept their conversations short, as to not arise any more suspicions that she was conspiring with him. She must already deal with a fair amount of mistrust from the nohrians.

The emptiness that followed after being left alone wasn’t anything he wasn’t accustomed to, but he slowly started to realize how much space was gaping around him when he didn’t have Sakura or his retainers around. He missed talking to Sakura, he missed hanging out with Oboro and Hinata… he missed being around his own people. He always thought that he was comfortable in his loneliness— and he was—, but he also craved for the company of people who would look up to him instead of feeling sorry for his every single melancholic breath. He loathed it when people pitied him.

He had another night of dreaming about dragon claws, dreamed about how they’d gently pierce into his still-open wounds. More than fearsome, it was a disquietingly thrilling dream and it’d leave him feeling sultry by the morning, having all his emotions in disarray, for there was no clear meaning that connected one image to another sensation. More than a couple of times he was forced to request that he’d like to personally wash his own clothes and sheets.

This offended Felicia, the maid who sometimes tended him and today was on laundry duty, accidentally making her feel like she was being incompetent at her job, which he truly didn’t mean. Of course, after trying to clear this misunderstanding, he was eventually allowed to go to the laundry room with Felicia. Needless to say, Felicia turned out to be a very clumsy, if not deficient maid, tripping everywhere and soiling the clothes right after scrubbing them with water and soap.

Where did Corrin get such an ill-fitted servant…? Then again, Hinoka herself had a pair of very underqualified retainers, so who was he to judge?

After he was done, he casually left the laundry and helped to hang up the sheets to dry out, then he sat down to wait in the courtyard, watching as the multi-colored clothes were caressed by the weak breeze of the wind.

Takumi started to grow uneasy with being out of his room in plain gray daylight. Of course, nobody was allowed to touch him as long as he remained in the fortress, he knew that he was being watched from afar by Leo’s closest subordinates. The possibility of encountering the older siblings of Corrin wasn’t appealing in the slightest, but he doubted that they’d attempt to harm him. Besides, his own appearance was wrecked badly enough to not be immediately identified as the Hoshidan Prince he was supposed to be, which was a terrible shame: he actually liked his hair long.

“Would you like to spar with me? You look so bored.”

Corrin walked into his view, he was taken aback by the proposal but even more so by her attire. The sharp neckline of her black tunic went way down exposing a generous amount of skin, but he wasn’t staring at her cleavage particularly… his eyes caught sight of that scar burnt on her chest, expanding across her skin like branches of a tree. He tried to not stare for long enough to make it obvious.

“Are we allowed to do that?”, Takumi asked, looking up at Corrin’s strangely passive expression. Her paleness and subtle mannerism gave him the impression of sickness.

“Not really, but we could both use some exercise, don’t you think?” Her voice was also strange. In her hands she held a pair of blunt-edged practice swords.

“I still don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Humor me, then.”

Hesitatingly, he grabbed the sword that she offered him and his hand welcomed the weight of the wooden weapon—far heavier than a shinai but manageable—, but he couldn’t understand what was going on inside Corrin’s head to make her act this way; he couldn’t fully figure out his feelings when he looked at her scarred chest either.

That large mark was nothing but a reminder of what Ryoma have done to her, just like her eyepatch was a reminder of what _he_ did to her. Takumi couldn’t bear to look at his own naked body and its small markings without feeling sick, so how come she was so shamelessly showing off that wound in front of him? Was it a misguided sense of pride… or something else entirely?

When he stood right in front of her, sword in hand, he felt like he was still inside a weird dream. There was something frightening and alluring about the way she looked and acted right now, and it was indeed going to test him.

“Alright, let’s go.”

He nodded as he positioned himself with the sword on defense, Corrin immediately leapt the distance between them and with full-force swung that sword towards him, taking Takumi by surprise by that sudden burst of strength. He managed to block that strike with the sword, but lost his balance quickly, his weight falling on one knee.

Corrin took stepped back and her body spun, aiming for a consecutive attack. She roared as her sword hit him again. Takumi moved, received the blow with the blade and his arms quivered by the brute force she used to swing, which was a little too harsh for just a sparring session. Or maybe it was only because he’s grown physically weak? It was hard to tell.

Takumi grabbed the sword’s hilt with both hands as he withdrew from her reach. She roared again and went to clash against his shoulder, but he reacted just in time to block her, and in return pushed her back with a little more effort than what he expected to use.

He yelped as he struck back at her, knowing full well how quickly she’d block that slash  directed for her chest, but he sharply withdrew and struck for a second time, nearly catching her off guard; still not good enough.

Takumi begun recalling those distant sparring sessions he had with Ryoma a little before the breaching of the war. He remembered his careful deliberate movements and also his slow descent to desperation that would result in the same defeat over and over again in hands of Ryoma. Corrin’s sword technique was entirely different from what he was used to; even when he watched her train with that old knight Gunter days ago, Takumi didn’t have a good grasp on how she fought.

Brusquely she swung her sword again, each thunderous strike more powerful than the last. His arms started to hurt, the effort demanded for sword fighting was making his weakened body work out more than anything that he’s done for the past few weeks. Takumi regretfully thought that he should’ve at least asked her to let him warm up a little, but his own lack of self-care was partly up to blame.

“Harder! I need you to come at me with killing intent!” she bellowed at him as her chest heaved, the tree-scar looked like it was alive. The wretched taunt sent chills down his spine.

There was a sort of cold wildness in her only eye, brimming with fury and abandon, yet at the same time… helplessness, frailty, like a wounded animal lunging for a final stand. It was clear that she didn’t intend to hold back, but he wasn’t sure if he could reciprocate her demands.

They continued like this for a while longer, Takumi eventually resorted to dodging and deflecting the thrusts of Corrin’s sword, but he realized that every time he’d try to strike her, she’d lower her guard, not enough to make it seem extremely apparent, but he had a keen eye and was able to detect this anyway. He’d then deviate his blade to clash against hers, avoiding to touch her.

Every time he did this, she’d groan and attack him again with the same intensity. Takumi was very confused about her intentions at this point… She was so ill-fitted for a fight in her current state, yet she kept on provoking him like a child…

The moment which he pushed her away, he was already exhausted and bathed in sweat, just like her. He’s never had a sparring session so long and so pointless like this one. And yet, she ran towards him, charging at full-speed with that frightening battle roar. Takumi sighed, tired already of this. He reacted quickly enough to step aside and lessen the impact of her sword, simultaneously lifted his right knee as she ran into it, making her trip violently on her face as she yelped in shock.

A dirty trick, he wouldn’t call it other way, but that was the only thing he was able to think to halt Corrin’s frenzy.

“Pent-up anger is not a good component for a practice fight… let’s just call it a draw”, Takumi breathed as his hands discarded the sword, feeling his fingers burn with blisters from the friction against the sword’s hilt.

Corrin slowly picked herself from the dirt, slowly turning her messed-up face towards him. She had the expression of a sore loser, but there was a disquieting frustration arising from her left eye. Slowly, she found a sitting position, her hand abandoning the sword as well. Her nose bled from the impact of hitting the ground, but she simply wiped off the blood and dirt from her mouth and continued to look at him with disbelief.

“Why were you holding back?”

He shrugged. “You looked sickly… and there’s no way I’d feel good beating you up when you’re clearly in disadvantage. I just don’t know why would you ask me to spar when it’d be better for you to take a rest?”

Corrin twisted her mouth as she looked at her bare feet—he noted how dirty and rough her foot soles were—; she looked so sourly defeated right now even when he didn’t try to hurt her (and that was probably the point). She inspired him pity.

“Resting up doesn’t always help me cope with the pain… I’m sorry for dragging you into doing this. It wasn’t right of me”, her voice was back to a passive tune and she couldn’t even look at him in the eye. Takumi knew that there was more to it than she let on, but he refused to add anything more.

“… Let’s try again another day, when you’re not sick. I’d like to defeat you when you’re in top form, alright?” Takumi sighed, his body was exhausted and he wanted to leave. Takumi leaned down and stretched his hand towards her, more subconscious than intentional; Corrin stared at him with a questioning look before accepting his hand, her fingers were also rough to the touch.  

He knew that sometimes he came off as aloof and brash towards her, which was mostly involuntary, so he could understand why was she so unused to his rare display of politeness. They walked together among the sheets hung on the lines, as if their gentle swaying shielded them from prying eyes.

“I really don’t like sword fighting”, he said suddenly. “I have never defeated Ryoma in a sparring match. Not even once. There were days in which I couldn’t land a single blow on him. And this might sound childish, but I decided to pick up the yumi because I figured that if I couldn’t best him on the sword, I’d do it with the bow.” Unconsciously, he grinned, as a pleasant memory ghosted over him. “Mother was so eager to teach me how to wield the yumi properly, even when she was a very busy woman. She was beaming the day that Fujin Yumi chose me as its owner. Back then, I thought that was the happiest that I’ve never seen her.”

“I knew that Mother used the yumi… but I’ve never seen her.”

“She was amazing. I’m not nearly as graceful as she was.”

“You’re already an impressive archer on your own, I can’t imagine how she was.” From the corner of his eye he watched Corrin smile half-heartedly. For some reason, that sight gave him chills. “… If you want, we could practice with range targets instead.”

“You don’t have to be so pleasing.”

“I could arrange it so it we wouldn’t run into trouble.”

Takumi shook his head, averting his gaze from her before he could panic. “That’s not what I’m talking about.”   

“Oh… I get it. It’d be awkward to allow you walk around with a bow in your hands, it’d put everyone on edge.”

She was right, but he also meant something else too regarding Corrin’s personality, the way she acted, the way she moved… so effortlessly kind and painfully artificial at the same time, it was bafflingly hard to tell those two sides apart. He recalled worrying about someone like this before. Takumi didn’t completely realize this uncanny likeness until now, for he filled so many of his days hating and misunderstanding Corrin that he never stopped to see those similarities, both qualities and flaws…

“… You are so much like her” he murmured when he stopped and rested his back against one of the stone pillars surrounding the courtyard. Corrin’s left eye examined him with familiar intrigue, it made his skin crawl as if he just faced a ghost. “You really are my Mother’s daughter.”

She went quiet for a while, her only eye wandered to all places before returning to him. “I never thought about it.”

There was an odd taste in his tongue when he called her that. Despite everything, Corrin was still Queen Mikoto’s only child. Thinking about it made his body feel brittle with the load of all those conflicting memories, which is why he always tried to avoid them.

“… I was always jealous of that, you know? Despite being apart for nearly all your life, she really loved you. She wouldn’t let it show because she was the Queen, but I knew that she cried alone whenever she missed you… I wanted to be good enough to stop her from being sad, stop her from thinking of you”, his voice faltered a little, Corrin’s heartbroken look wasn’t helping either. Why was his chest feeling so heavy all of sudden? “But she loved us too. She loved me, even if I wasn’t her true son, even if… e-even if she wasn’t bound by anyone to do it. I knew she always did her best to raise me and Sakura, even though she wasn’t perfect and had better things to worry about.”

Takumi raised his hand towards his face, pressed his eyelids with his thumb and index before the tears could come out. His whole body was trembling and he couldn’t stop it. He didn’t want to cry in front of her again, but this has been weighing him down for such a long time, it bent him broken.

Corrin wasn’t alien to the feeling of loss, but her emotions were so distant from his own and yet she was the only one around who could empathize with him in a moment like this. She was probably aware of this.

“How long has it been? About half a year, right? Although it feels like it’s been so long…” Corrin said, her wistful humming hovered with the soft breeze of the wind, it was so pitiful, just like him. “We haven’t had the time to mourn for her, have we?”

He let out a shaky breath, his chest overflowing. He could feel that her pained words were at least in the same place as he was. And that was good enough.

“Takumi?”

“… I’m fine.” He managed to hold back the tears, the most he could do.

She walked him back to his room, they exchanged a bit more of words about when would Leo hold another secret meeting, but the details easily escaped him, his mind wound up by their conversation. Corrin left him alone after she ran out of conversation topics. Even then, he could tell from the way her mouth moved reluctantly, she still had more things left to tell him.

But she didn’t.

It was fine, he didn’t have the energy for more anyway.

Today he managed to understand Corrin a little better, but didn’t change his troubled feelings towards her, didn’t help subside this sickly curiosity that was yet to haunt even more of his dreams at night.

…

 

 

CORRIN

She ended up running into the infirmary again to check on in the nearest mirror her bloody nose and if she damaged her right eye during that fall at the end of her match with Takumi. She had to remove the white-leather eyepatch; luckily, she didn’t sustain any damage. But it was a challenge to adjust to that sight, the way in which her pale eyelids sunk down lazily, the absence of an eye made the pink veiny flesh inside all the less pleasant to watch. She was never one to feel insecure about her own looks, but she couldn’t grow used to seeing her own face with only one eye.

Takumi’s words about Mother nearly made her cry today too, and she vaguely wondered if her right side would still be able to produce tears.

Bringing up Mother right after what she tried to do was a little too much for her. Azura would later reprimand her severely for this, but she didn’t have a good explanation for acting so rashly; there were surely a lot more ways to solve her problem without coming into harm’s way and leave Takumi out of it for good.

She nearly made Takumi do something cruel beyond words, as a twisted maneuvering of what she considered justice, while freeing her of something she dearly feared.

Corrin went to sleep early that day, as if trying to shut down her mind spiraling into hopelessness, edging towards madness. It crawled beneath her skin as a destructive force that wanted nothing but to punish her for every single sin. Even in dreams, the monster inhabiting her would grow restless, a violence-starved dragon threatening to claw its way out of her. But she was herself the dragon, no matter how she wished to interpret these self-destructive urges.

It was suffocating. She was left alone to her anguish until her muddled senses started to detect voices outside of the realm of dreams.

“—no… ! You’ve got a fever…!”

It was a voice like a ray of sun, sounded a lot like Elise, and in that moment Corrin felt small hands feeling her up carefully, cold enough to make her gently squirm out of that nightmare almost completely. A faint sense of alertness made her feel uneasy about those tiny hands checking on her.

“… What?” There was a confused shiver in that voice, the little fingers abruptly shied away from her. “This can’t be right…”

Corrin was slow to react, her head was heavy and her limbs wouldn’t respond until after Elise was already out of reach. Not long after, when she finally opened her eyes, she saw at the room’s door Xander’s tall grim frame in contrast with Elise, so small that she barely made it up to his chest. Xander looked down at his little sister and nodded at her. Corrin’s mind was racing into understanding what was happening.

“Thank you, Elise. You may leave us both alone”, his regal voice wasn’t half as strong as usual. Elise was upset.

“Don’t you shoo me away all of sudden! Whatever you’re going to talk about, I’m old enough to listen!”

“That’s not the issue and you know it.”

“But…!”

“—I promise that we won’t fight. We’re just going to talk. Please, just let us be alone.”

“I didn’t tell you so you’d punish her, Xander. You’re the only one who can protect her now.”

Corrin was shifting from the bedsheets, still struggling to get her body up, her heart shivered with the obvious context of her siblings’ words, her mind panicking when Elise begrudgingly had to leave them alone and Xander closed the door behind him as he walked inwards this room.

There was a severe frown on Xander’s face, each little fold added some age to his yet-young face, but it wasn’t anger what he wielded with such scowl, and Corrin didn’t know why it made her gut feel so much worse.

Xander lifted his face as his dark purple eyes pinned her down. “Honestly, I didn’t want to believe all the rumors that Iago left in his wake, for I always thought that I knew better… But _this_ demands an explanation, Corrin.”

“… What are you talking about?” She looked away, anything was better than to face him.

“Don’t play fool with me.” His voice got louder for one second, demanding her full attention; he was not going to beat around the bush. “Has someone, anyone, done something heinous to you during your captivity? Has anyone abused of you?”

“No”, she breathed sharply. Xander kept coming closer, his imposing height looming on to her. Her breath hitched, feeling that pain on her sides again. Tears were threatening to slip out, but she found herself unable to.

“Are you sure, little princess? Aren’t you trying to protect someone?”

She opened her mouth, it was shivering uncontrollably. “Xander, I know exactly what you’re thinking, but it’s not what it seems. Whatever Iago said about me, it’s not true—”

But before finishing, his hands grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her, not violently, but with enough force to startle her. His was a desperate-looking face, fearful above anything. “I cannot take this lightly and neither can you. You need to tell me what happened!”

Her whole body was tense under his grasp, and for long seconds she didn’t know what to say to him. She knew what people said of Ryoma particularly, Iago had made sure to twist the truth however he pleased, and Xander’s certainty of that was probably her only leeway to save part of Ryoma’s reputation. But she could only do so much when all those lies were founded on one terrible truth.

“It was a guard”, she spoke, suddenly bit ill by the unconvincing words. “He was very kind to me and we fell in love. I know it was improper, immoral to an extent… but it simply happened because I was the one who wanted it to happen.” Her voice took newly-found strength within that last sentence. “I know that you must feel so disappointed on me, Xander, but what are you going to do about it? …My honor is not yours to defend, so stop acting like it is.”

“You understand whose reputation is being soiled because of this, don’t you? A guard, you say, but a nameless cur is not enough evidence to clear what they’re saying about Prince Ryoma”, Xander let go of her but didn’t get his eyes off her. “I have no idea what are your feelings towards Prince Ryoma after all your time as their prisoner but you ought to clear things out, even if only for YOUR sake and the child you’re carrying.”

“… If I say a name, what will happen then? Are you going out to protect the father or are you going to kill him? You’re still going to wage war against Hoshido and you’re still going to fight against him. Why in the world do you care?”

Xander gritted his teeth, disgusted with her crudeness. “Because it’s your own brother they’re talking about!”

She lowered her face, feeling an involuntary pang trickle across her scarred chest. Until now, Xander and everyone else referred to her hoshidan siblings with animosity and denial because in their eyes they would never be Corrin’s true family… but now Xander’s fears and morals have forced him to accept this reality.

“… So you finally acknowledge that Ryoma is my brother?”

“Help me, Corrin”, he uttered beneath his teeth. “Help me, so I don’t have to believe that he’s the one who touched you.”

“Of course he didn’t. He is my brother.” The lie slipped coldly between her lips. In a moment like this Corrin understood the importance of Ryoma’s secretiveness towards their blood relation, because if Xander were to ever find out, all of this would be for naught, nothing would change. “Or you could just believe in whatever you want, Xander, if it helps you justify the hoshidan lives you’ll have to take.”

“Stop that.”

“Stop what? Does the truth cripple you from obeying Father’s demands?”

“Do you honestly think that the truth never weighed on me? No matter how I wish otherwise, I know the truth has brought nothing but pain and self-doubt to you, and naturally it leaves us questioning whether the love you harbored for us is even healthy. There’s no point in gliding over the facts: we raised you as our own only because you were victim of circumstances beyond anyone’s control.” His gloved fingers tensed tightly under that black leather, now he couldn’t look at her in the eye. “I don’t know what Father was thinking that night when he brought you in to us… I still can’t figure if making you one of us was even worth the consequences that followed. I cannot explain why he is like that; some days I cannot help but to wonder if he’s still my Father… I don’t know.” His breathing wavered for a moment, his scowl deepened, Corrin’s chest clenched. “But know this: I will not ignore you anymore. If anything, I’ll keep on doing what I can to protect you, whether you can still see us as your family or not, little princess. Being your big brother is the only thing I’ve ever been able to offer you.”

Corrin went quiet after Xander was done, the anxiety was still stirring inside, keeping her from fully embracing this genuine show of empathy. She knew Xander was kind and capable of tenderness, she knew that he meant well, but he was completely helpless to the forces controlling his and his siblings’ lives, therefore, he couldn’t promise to do all of that.

Xander too was a victim of circumstances beyond their control. Corrin wanted to finally tell him to truth, free him at last from that controlling monster’s claws… but the time would come very soon. They needed to wait for the Impostor’s arrival to Mokushu, which would happen in a matter of a few more days, according to Leo.

Until then, she needed to stop capturing Xander’s attention like this. She also needed to figure out that other pressing problem, her fingers were twitching over her stomach, her heart pulsing in her throat.

“What do you want to do?” he inquired calmly, but with a demanding undertone. “Are you going to keep that child?”

It was worth pondering about, because from one moment to the other, she thought about getting rid of it and regretted it instantly. She’d still try to talk to Azura more about her second-guessing, but until then, Corrin was completely uncertain of what she truly wanted.

With rigid hands, she looked back to Xander with a frozen expression.

 “I need to think about it.”

…

 

 

Later that night, Corrin left her room instead of turning to Azura for counseling, she went to Takumi’s room just below hers, for she was painfully aware that he must’ve heard her conversation with Xander, just like it happened last time.

And she found him there, sitting in that same spot in the dark, beneath the weak light of the moon outside the small window, the stillness in which his body rested against the wall was like that of a statue. He didn’t move until Corrin sat right beside him, letting out a long sigh. The room’s floor was very cold.

“… Sorry for calling you ‘fat’ the other day. I feel stupid for not realizing it before.”

“I didn’t realize it either, so maybe the stupid one is me.” Corrin grimaced, his despondency palpable through his silence. “What are we going to do about this?”

“ _We_? You realize that it’s not me who is carrying a child?” She couldn’t see Takumi’s face when he turned his head to her, but in the dull light lining his small shape she could see how tense his shoulders were. “I’m at loss for words. I should have known that something like this would happen. What’s done it’s done, but what do you want to do?”

That question again; it only managed to make her mouth go dry and her thoughts tumble against each other. She was too tired to put up a façade in front of him, when they were both sheltered by darkness and dim moonlight.

“… I thought about keeping it at first, but I don’t know if it’d do right by me, or the child in question. There’s too much to take in consideration. What if I lost it during the next battle? What if it comes out malformed or sick? What if I cannot love it or make it happy?”

She sensed how Takumi shifted lightly when she mentioned that last part, she realized that she hit a nerve with bringing that up. Not over a day ago they were talking about their Mother.

“I can’t deny that it’d be a better choice to simply not have the child at all, but you know that I don’t have a say in what you want to do in the end. It’s your choice. Think hard, because it’s not going to wait for you forever!”

“… Azura told me something similar.”

“Did she? I guess she’d be far more helpful than me in that regard.”

“But you know exactly why I’ve come for you too.”

“… Yeah.”

This was going to be the bastard child from the illicit union between brother and sister, and that was a burden too great to place on a baby that wasn’t even born yet. Even worse than that, Corrin knew that she would be projecting her still-latent feelings for Ryoma through this baby… It didn’t feel right to keep a child just for the sake of the one who fathered them.

“Even if you’re not my kin, the child you’re carrying is my blood. I suppose that I should be feeling something about them, but… I’m sorry if that’s not the case.” Takumi didn’t even try to sound scornful, he was just tired.

There was something else to this unborn infant though, something that caught Corrin unprompted while Takumi brought up the words ‘kin’ and ‘blood’, which made her heart tingle.

The world was too lonely for a creature like herself, and this child was something that she could call her own, her blood, her home. The mere existence of this child breathed into Corrin a new sense of belonging, something she thought she lost when Ryoma told her she had no blood relation to anyone except Queen Mikoto.

In that moment, for the first time in such a long while, Corrin felt hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if Takumi's feelings about Corrin are still confusing, but I promise it'll be cleared up in the next chapters.


	26. Atonement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I wanted to apologize for the long wait for this update, I should've warned you that I'd be busy during exams and finals (I barely had time to progress, and I admit it took me far longer than I'd have liked to). And this chapter is super long too. I'll have to adjust my deadlines to a more reasonable length if I want to do a proper job finishing this fic. How about a schedule? Next update will come out on December 19th. Sounds good for you? I sure hope so!
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> **EDIT (13/12/2016): I hate to break promises, and I'm so sorry for telling you this, but my laptop has suffered too many problems as of late and I'll probably need to replace it; and while I managed to save many important documents, including my drafts, I'm not sure if I'll be able to deliver the next chapter before the deadline. Again, I'm sosorry for this. I hope that you guys can understand why it takes me too long to post the next chapter.**
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> Basically, this chapter is half-fluff and half-plot. And an old friend returns this chapter, oh my!  
>  **Other additional warnings: Depiction of Animal Death and Irresponsible Hunting.**

AZURA

Things only appeared to get worse and worse every time Azura turned her back from Corrin. That morning, Corrin voiced her decision about her pregnancy, much to Azura’s dismay, and she could understand the reasoning behind her choice, but it didn’t mean that she liked it in the least.

It was already problematic that Xander had to find out, but Takumi…? From all the facts and observations that Azura pieced together, Takumi must’ve been affected first-hand by Corrin’s affair with Ryoma with the subsequent revelation that their blood-ties were a lie, which also explained how Iago got this information through Takumi.

The only consolation Azura could find was the fact that Corrin was intent on convincing everyone aware that the child she was carrying was from a different man, and not Ryoma. But the damage was already done.

She found Takumi later, brooding in a corner of his room and she found out that he’s been taking out his anger on the bed, sheets and pillows viciously torn apart and the bedposts broken. The next thing she noticed was his feet, purple for kicking the furniture in a tantrum, she presumed.

“Let me see them”, she asked when she approached him, making him turn his face to her. His eyes were bloodshot and had a runny nose. Only gods knew how hard he must’ve bashed his foot against the furniture to finally break the wood.

Takumi allowed Azura to treat his injured feet in silence; she didn’t try to force a conversation when they both know exactly what was happening. Takumi was within his rights to feel nothing but disdain towards the aberrant child, his would-be nibling from that incestuous union.

There would be a better time to think about Corrin’s decision to keep the baby, as for now, they needed to stay strong together until their plan to unmask King Garon unraveled.

Azura went back and forth from the apothecary as she healed Takumi’s injuries, he would flinch in reaction to the pain, but he appeared to impersonate the calm after the storm. “… How are you holding up?”

“Better”, he muttered, retrieving his foot from her touch.

“Can I trust you to not do anything reckless after I leave you?” she asked, couldn’t hide the small irritation she felt towards the thought.

Takumi sighed, his head fell back. “I can’t promise you that.”

“But can I ask you for something else?” Before he could agree, Azura’s mind was upon the emotions that triggered Takumi’s rampage. Nothing useful could be noted of it, but at least she needed to remind him of what was at stake. “Don’t take it out on Corrin, no matter how strongly you feel. Right now she’s in a fragile state and will need a lot of support, so… can you bear with this until the very end?”, she inquired looking at him dead in the eye.

He furrowed his brows and then shook his head rapidly.

“… I don’t want to hurt Corrin”, he said with a shaky voice, a little bit louder than before, his shoulders stifling as he curled into his skinny frame. “I’m just…—I mean, I don’t think I can hate her after all we went through together. But I just don’t want to see that pregnant belly grow and always be reminded of what happened. How can I cope with that?”

His eyes were wide open, and Azura could still see the glint of wetness as his jaw was tense with restrained anger.

“How do I get rid of these feelings?” he whispered, the force abandoned his voice with that last question.

“You don’t. But it’s up to you how you decide to deal with them. Just don’t keep them bottled up until they’re too much to contain. I’d be more worried if you didn’t get upset because of this.”

“At least one of us is cool-headed”, Takumi sighed but his shoulders were still stiff. “But I’ll behave. Promise.”

…

 

 

The long-awaited arrival of their King had come a little sooner than what everyone expected, the Nohrian base established inside Mokushu grew agitated with the constant awareness that such a prominent and terrible figure was among them.

Of course, Azura wasn’t there to meet King Garon, as her true whereabouts were made a mystery with a widespread knowledge that both Corrin and Takumi went missing after Iago’s fiasco. But anyone could put their guesses on the air, many agreed that it was for the better that someone so unreliable as Corrin would remain largely uninvolved in this war, for they needn’t a moral compass to hold them back. In Corrin’s mind this was exactly what she didn’t want, but war’s meaning didn’t need to adapt to her personal beliefs, but Corrin must’ve learned that by now.

The dawn after receiving King Garon, Azura met with Leo after his family’s reunion with the King, the thing using his Father’s skin, and Leo seemed to have a few shades of color on his already pale skin. He had already too many things to worry about, but she couldn’t help herself but to ask him what was wrong.

“…He is seemingly interested on forcefully seizing Izumo.”

“What? But Izuno is a neutral land!”

He shakes his head, wearing a deep frown. “…It’s a provocation. He claims to know that Hoshido and Izumo forged a secret alliance not long ago. I presume that before dying, Iago must’ve disclosed this information to King Garon through a messenger, assuming that he pulled that out of Prince Takumi when he was his prisoner. I could ask him to confirm, but it’s not important. Izuno will be under the attack of the Nohrian army whether it’s true or not.”

Azura felt a rock fall into the pit of her stomach at the thought about Iago contacting the King on such matters. She knew that this was a possibility from the beginning, it didn’t fare well for Corrin in the least, but Garon knowing about it could give him the upper hand at the time of their final encounter. Azura wondered how well-prepared Corrin would be for this?

“This won’t change our plans significantly, but I’ve been preparing to prevent the worst outcome. We’ll stick to the plan, send Corrin and Takumi up ahead in secret and they’ll use that chance to warn Archduke Izana of the attack. There shouldn’t be any visible hoshidan forces in there as long as they focus on protecting their borders and respecting Izuno’s apparent neutrality… However, we cannot discard the possibility of hidden hoshidan spies within Izuno. I’ll have to remind them to be aware of that.”

Azura nodded. Maybe it was safer to send them away while King Garon was close around. It was clear that taking any more unnecessary risks could potentially ruin their entire plan. It was bad enough that Corrin was adamant about her pregnancy.

Even Xander seemed to be aware of how dangerous it was to let Corrin stay, at risk of being discovered by his ‘Father’, as Xander still showed that he deeply cared about her in spite of their clashing points of view.

From what Azura heard later that day, Xander arranged a ship set to sail to the west in order to send the most gravely injured soldiers of their military campaign back home. He probably wanted to use this chance to send Corrin back too…

Of course, Leo was planning way ahead of Xander, as he instructed Felicia to disguise herself as her master to deceive Xander. And where Takumi would be under regular watch, Jakob, Corrin’s butler, would disguise himself as the Hoshidan Prince to not raise suspicion. Corrin and Takumi would be taking a small carriage with Gunter, they would arrive to Izuno in a matter of a few days. Leo predicted they’d be in Izuno with at least two days ahead of the rest of the army. It was more than enough time, they hoped.

In the meantime, Azura and Leo would stick together, prepare themselves when the moment of the attack.

…

 

 

TAKUMI

He stared at her for a long time after she fell asleep; it was hard to look at anything other than the provision crates and her, snoring softly as her head lolled against her shoulder a few feet away from him. To be constricted inside such a narrow place like this enclosed wooden wagon made it impossible to look elsewhere. Couldn’t look out at the windows for too long either, there wasn’t much to look outside but trees and clouds, Gunter’s broad back while he maintained his horse on course. The fact that he found the sight of Corrin more entertaining to observe than the scenery was troubling, to say the least.

Nothing about Corrin was ever simple. He should be angry, he should be distraught, not only for the series events that led to her pregnancy… but also because she had the nerve of wanting the child even after she made him fight her.

He understood now what she tried to make him do, but he couldn’t comprehend why she wanted to do it in such a violent manner, not with a mind contorted like hers. Were these mood-swings part of the dragon she was? Or could they be blamed to the pregnancy? Could they be both at once?

Regardless of the causes, he couldn’t distance himself from Corrin, because now more than ever he could be useful. She needed his support, she needed his bow, and he wasn’t going to let her down again.

His hand stretched towards his Fujin Yumi, resting close to her Yato; their respective weapons finally at each other’s reach. He always felt more comfortable if he carried the yumi at all times, but now he just felt weird about it… he only wanted to let it be next to her for a while longer.

After a long sleep, a strange impulse coursed through him, easing him awake. Before he could reason it, he was on his fours and with his face inches away from Corrin’s

Was there anything he wished to prove to himself by leaning this close to her face? Was there anything to be gained from this? His hand found its way on the right side of her face, his thumb touching the soft cloth of the eyepatch when his lips grazed lightly against the corner of her unsuspecting mouth, too cautious of pressing himself too close or even letting his breath come out of his nose, too afraid to wake her from her slumber. Taking any more from this silence would be a mistake. He only dared to close his mouth against the eyepatch, shuddering lightly when he realized that he couldn’t draw out anything beyond that touch, except the lingering feeling of nausea that reverberated from the back of his head and down to his loins.

“This is messed up”, he muttered, parting away from her immediately. He only bore the sting of shame for even acting on his own curiosity. But it was all beyond the shame.

Even if his feelings for her devolved into something so primal, the trauma of his captivity had thoroughly destroyed and tainted the enjoyment he would get from any sensual indulgence… But why did it have to be Corrin of all people?

She was beautiful, that he couldn’t deny, but she was the one he was supposed to call his Sister; she was the missing sister that defined the lives of his broken family, and she was also the one who brought him the most of despair. Seeing her as the object of his desires wouldn’t wash away the entire trauma he endured in his imprisonment, but the irrational part of him wanted it to work.

 _Get a hold of yourself. This is not what_ you _want._

A few minutes after, the car seemingly passed under a large rock, shaking them violently on their resting place. Takumi peeked out briefly to check on Gunter, who still steered his horse without interruption through this path across the grove. The climate was getting warmer as they advanced north, towards Izuno’s borders. The car shook once more, making Takumi fall back on his tiny sitting spot, and he grunted in discomfort as the back of his head hit the wagon’s wall.

Corrin stirred in her sleep and took a sharp breath, startling him. When she opened her left eye, she weakly smiled when her gaze met him. He simply looked away, feeling a small surge of embarrassment.

An hour later, they stopped the car, they’d have to set up their camp before dark and keep a steady pace for the next day… They wouldn’t be starting a fire tonight either, just a precaution to avoid drawing attention to them, Gunter explained as he fed his tired steed.

Rarely the older man talked directly to Takumi, but didn’t ever direct any apparent disdain to him through his aloof behavior. Gunter was a surprisingly reliable man for his age, he didn’t complain once when he started to do his own chores even when he spent most of the day on his horse.

However, though it was obvious that Gunter was close to Corrin, there was some sort of forceful formality between them… Takumi would think that it had something to do with the most recent developments in Corrin’s life, as how she had to accept that she grew up as a prisoner and Gunter had lied to her face during her whole life… it’d be impossible to not get even a little resentful for all of that. Was Gunter’s strict servitude his own way to atone for his sins?

Takumi did help even though nobody asked him. Their wagon had a few supplies for one its size, they could have done a little better if they each had their own horse to ride, but Corrin insisted that she didn’t want to ride on horseback.

Perhaps she started to truly care about her unborn child. It wasn’t a very pleasant idea.

After he finished surveying the area—he heard the gentle song of water streaming nearby, the woods weren’t terribly thick and there were plenty of inoffensive wild animals around—it’d be a while before the sunset, so he had a little more time left before they’d start a campfire.

“I want to go bring some water”, he said, after placing his Fujin Yumi under his arm, grabbed an extra bow with a quiver and a pair of water gourds. Corrin wordlessly followed him after Gunter reassured them that he’d be fine on his own. He believed him.

Just a she thought, a few minutes away there was a creek and he walked with a little more caution as to not slip on the wet stones guiding the streams. They had little depth, fish nowhere to be found, so the water would have to suffice for now. He didn’t realize how dry his mouth was until he scooped some with his hands and drank. He also decided to wash his face with the cold water, rid of the troubling thoughts that invaded him throughout the journey.

And when he turned to his right, he saw Corrin’s bare feet standing in the way from where he took water.

“Hey, I was drinking right here!” he grunted, and Corrin was only slightly startled. Was she spacing out? She only looked back at him and smiled softly.

“I just wanted to soak my feet a little. This feels very nice.”

It was such a mundane thing, Takumi couldn’t be mad about it. He could recall seeing a distant Azura do the same at the pond in Shirasagi’s Castle, sometimes could catch Queen Mikoto doing the same, never bothering to understand what it meant. Takumi shuddered and walked past her to find a better spot to fill up the water gourds; he didn’t want to think about how similar Corrin was to their Mother now of all times.

“You’re so weird”, he retorted without looking back. He started to fill up the second gourd. “Just don’t go around walking over the stream, the rocks are slippery and nobody is going to like that—”

When he turned his face to look back at her, he flinched as the water splashed on his face. “What the—” Corrin had kicked the stream up playfully. “Knock it off!”

He wasn’t angry, but it was silly to suddenly find Corrin splattering the water towards him, as if she was some child.

“Come on, it’s just a little water!” she teased, and instead of bothering to speak to her again, Takumi swung his arm against the flow of the water, dashing it towards her. She snickered as she drew back just to leap on the stream again with precision.

The water sprinkled all over his clothes no matter how much he moved back and forth, Corrin somehow didn’t care about being about getting her tunic wet as the corners of her mouth were pulled into a hearty laughter. This Corrin was so different from the depressing mad woman she’s been in the last few weeks, and somehow she still felt like the same person.

The playfulness in which she kept daring him to fight harder made Takumi feel invigorated, not trying to win or to prove anything, but just to step up on her game. Before he realized, his face started to feel sore for some reason, as he’s been laughing for a while now.

How long has it been since he genuinely laughed for anything? It felt so good, and it only took a silly dabber to let it out. And maybe Corrin didn’t plan on this, but this brief instant of simple frivolity managed to lift an invisible weight over his heart even if just for one moment.

For one small and precious moment, he felt like they were truly siblings. In the end, that’s all they were, it was good enough, and he was happy with this already.

…

 

 

He didn’t know for how long they engaged like this, but it was over before he could tell. Corrin’s smile was still wide, a pleasant kind of tiredness washed over them and the next thing he thought about doing was to lay down on the grass and drink in this brief sense of safety and contentment.

Corrin did the same, her breathing pulsed with the sound of the running creek and the song of birds, the sunlight filtered through the tall pines around them. The peaceful ambience could fool anyone into believing that there wasn’t a war going on at the moment. A little bit of pretense couldn’t hurt anybody.

When they finally turned around to walk back to Gunter with the water gourds filled and muddy clothes, Takumi suddenly raised his arm to stop Corrin as a shadow moved between the trees. “Shh… I saw something”, he whispered.

Corrin rightfully tensed and took a hold of her sword as her movements slowed down, but when she walked closer to Takumi, she visibly relaxed. “A deer?” she sighed. He looked back at her, he readied his regular bow along with an arrow. The animal wasn’t big, a female fawn with brown fur and little white spots on her back, still oblivious of the presence of humans.

They could use some meat for dinner tonight.

“Do you have any experience hunting?”

She shook her head after a second of hesitation. “I’m afraid not.”

“Then I want you to watch me. Don’t do anything unless I tell you to. Just watch.”

He drew his breath slowly, strangeness invaded him when he had to stretch the nohrian bow and find the most favorable position to aim for the deer. He didn’t have much time to practice again with it, and hunting wasn’t exactly the most relaxing thing to do either. And Corrin was watching too, he felt like he wanted to impress her somehow, even when she’d probably insist that he didn’t need to do it.

It wasn’t a good shot. The deer was alerted one instant before its neck was struck by the arrow, so the poor animal fell to the ground midair when it attempted to jump away. Corrin flinched and looked away, Takumi let out a long sigh and waited for a moment. The deer seemed to struggle a little to get up, which frustrated him greatly. It would’ve been amazing to get a one-shot kill and an arrow through the neck wasn't a very good thing.

The deer didn’t get up, and Takumi asked her quickly for a knife to finish the job, he also asked her to keep an eye on the deer so it wouldn’t try to attack him when he tried to slice its throat and put it out of its misery.

It was such a mess. It didn’t go as bad as it could, but still…

“Admittedly, I’m not a very good hunter”, he said, after deciding to rinse the blood off his hands, his arms were still a little shaky and couldn’t look at Corrin in the eye after he watched her eye linger a little too long on the fawn’s body. “… Remember that deer skin pelt I used to wear the whole time? It was from the first deer I got to kill, the first time I’ve ever killed anything. It must’ve been ruined when I got captured, so, uh… I guess it doesn’t matter.”

He didn’t want to casually bring that up, he was mostly just talking for the sake of talking, and Corrin looked at him with something akin to compassion as her mouth tensed.

“You don’t blink an eye when you have to take a life, but there’s some sort of tenderness in you when you speak about the deer. You don’t actually enjoy killing, do you?”

“I can’t say that I enjoy it, but… I’m not what you think I am. I don’t necessarily feel the same way as you do about taking lives.”

Corrin bore a wistful smile. “… I guess not.”

Takumi suddenly felt bad again, he shook his head and his hands in front of her. “I-it’s no reason for you to look down! Ugh, I only wanted to eat some meat.” He tried to pick up the deer on his own, but eventually Corrin helped him carrying the lower body. “We can at least tell Gunter that we’ll be eating something other than soup and bread tonight.”

“That’d be nice. We could also try and make a new hide for you.”

“I doubt that we have the time and the resources to make one.” He sensed that Corrin wasn’t very enthusiastic about skinning a deer—or knew anything about how to do it—, but he appreciated her interest anyway. “Thanks anyway. You… uh, having you here has helped me, Sis.”

He didn’t think he’d catch her off-guard like that, as her head turned to him rapidly, her only eye wide and with a dumbfounded smile crossing her lips. The sight of this made his chest tighten in remembrance of the times he watched his mother smile too, and he felt warm in the face.

And they treaded their path back with a dead deer on their hands, it wasn’t dark yet but at this point Gunter would be probably starting the campfire. The sound of the cicadas’ song was starting to grow thick around the forest, it’d be hardly surprising that more wild animals would come out soon… he could even hear more strange noises now that they were getting farther away from the water creek.

There was something abnormal about those new sounds over the grove, and Corrin noticed it too, as she pleaded him to let the deer down for a moment. She was very quiet and precise when she stepped across the rough ground of the forest, she’d be an amazing hunter if she ever picked it up. She drew her sword preemptively as Takumi tried to follow her lead by making the least amount of noise as possible.

There was a relief up ahead, and voices could be heard. Voices. None of them resembled Gunter. Takumi could tell they were two of them at least, and his skin crawled when he heard them snicker softly.

Corrin crept slowly and she crouched behind a bush as Takumi followed her closely, she was the first one to see them through the small gap between the leaves shielding them from plain sight.

“Is that…? Those three are Mokushujin, aren’t they?” she murmured, Takumi found his own aperture within the bush to take in the view. Indeed, those were three people, all of them dressed in their traditional ninja equipment, wearing the insignia that identified them as mokushujin.

They probably haven’t spotted their campsite yet, or they were simply unaware.

However, those men were walking very close to one another, holding back the one in the middle, it seemed like her feet weren’t moving cooperatively. Without realizing, Takumi’s heart started to beat very fast, his stomach growing sick. “No… that woman seems to be tied from behind.”

“That’s... Oh no…” The realization hit her at the same time it did to him, as he found that feminine mug and long black hair locks strikingly familiar.

It was Kagero, one of Ryoma’s retainers.

His blood froze for an instant and tried to shake off those awful thoughts away from his head, anything other than the question of how did she end up here and why was she captured by the enemy. But it was also important to rescue her, and soon.

“Takumi, how fast can you shoot those men consecutively?” Corrin whispered, he was almost unsettled by the sudden grim tone that left her lips. Other than that, he understood perfectly.

“… I’d have to aim the first arrow into his throat and delay his comrade’s realization if he doesn’t hear him scream.” It wouldn’t kill him immediately, and Corrin seemed to be conscious of the fact as she reflexively frowned at his suggestion. “It’d give me enough time to shoot a second arrow to the other guy.”

It took her a few seconds of reasoning, before she nodded.

“… Alright, do it. I’ll jump in just in case anything goes wrong.”

It was a good thing he carried a regular bow, using the Fujin Yumi would give their position away because of the light it shed when he wielded it. Although he was still upset about the deer, he was confident in his ability to strike those men down. Takumi took his time drawing the arrow from his quiver and aiming it, trying to keep his anxiety down and not rush it just like he did with the deer.

He shot the first arrow, swift and silent like a breeze it was suddenly through that the closest man’s neck, stopping him in his tracks as slowly as the understanding of what happened dawned upon him a little too late. Before his partner could know, a second arrow had pierced the other’s chest. Their female prisoner watched in disbelief how they fell to the ground, but without a moment’s waste she went to search for their knives in order to cut her binds as soon as possible.

Takumi didn’t see when Corrin ran out of her hiding spot, but he did his best to keep up with her, and he still felt his stomach heavy knowing that he was meeting with Kagero, one of Ryoma’s closest attendants, and he wasn’t sure what to expect.

“L-lady Corrin?” Kagero stilled when she acknowledged her presence, a genuine bit of emotion showed through Kagero’s always-aloof mask. Corrin hurried to her side and helped to cut the ropes binding the woman’s wrists with one knife she found on the bodies.

“Are you alright? They didn’t hurt you, did they?”

Kagero merely rubbed her wrists and moved her fingers to recover blood circulation in them, as she kept staring sharply at Corrin and then back to Takumi with even greater bewilderment. Takumi found himself avoiding her gaze, feeling suddenly so self-aware of his appearance.

Judging by the sorry state of her clothes and hair, Kagero must’ve been travelling for a while before she was caught.

Finally, Kagero started to awkwardly fix her clothes, Corrin shifted when she looked back at Takumi for a second, awaiting in silence for the words evidently lost in the air, and the uncertainty of Kagero’s motives for being this far away from hoshidan borders.

“Forgive my lack of response, I just didn’t think that I’d have to meet you again in a place like this”, Kagero said as she directed a nod towards Corrin, her composure restored. Then she inclined her head further down when she locked her attention to him. “Lord Takumi… I’m so glad to see you mostly unharmed. These will be great news to deliver to your sisters.”

‘Mostly unharmed’ wasn’t the wording he’d use, but he’d let Kagero think whatever she wanted for the time being.

“Kagero, why are you in Mokushu? I thought that Yukimura and Ryoma would focus their efforts to protect the borders, and you are one of the best warriors under his command. Did he send you here?”

“‘Tis a long story, but no, I’m afraid that Lord Ryoma didn’t send me here. You both are part of the reason why I infiltrated to enemy territory though. As you can see, I was too careless on my own”, she responded apologetically inclining her head again. Then her gaze returned to Corrin. “I’m so relieved that you rescued Lord Takumi; you stayed true to your word, milady. All what is left is to do is to return to Hoshido.”

A chill ran down his spine, before Corrin could even formulate an answer, he was the one who needed to speak first. Corrin did tell him before that she made such a promise, but he also had a voice on the matter.

“I’m sorry, Kagero, but I can’t go back. Not yet.”

“Lord Takumi… I am not thankful enough for your safety, but whatever reason you have to remain here, it surely isn’t important enough to make your family wait, is it? It’s been months without a word about you! They don’t even know if you’re still alive!”

“Sorry, I didn’t know! But now it’s not a good time!”

“You’re currently out of the Nohrian’s grasp, what is it that is holding you back?”

“We can’t talk about it, sorry! It’s so complicated!” he answered, growing anxious when Kagero looked at him that way. He dreaded to think about his family, about the real extent of their grief and hopelessness, and he felt like a fool for making himself believe that they shouldn’t miss him at all.  

Corrin stepped in.

“We have been coming up with a plan to halt the war between both countries.” That wasn’t what he expected Corrin to say, and he was about to snap at her, but her hand reached his shoulder and calmly looked at him. “I suppose we should at least tell Kagero the truth, Takumi. It’s fine.”

“I’m not saying that it’s wrong, but you can’t just freely say it like it’s nothing!” he retorted.

“It’s going to be fine”, she reassured.

Kagero sighed, crossing her arms. “Lady Corrin, you’re always too eager to earn other’s trust.”

“She’s right, you know”, Takumi added.

“Don’t you trust in me, Kagero? After all this time? Would you believe me still capable of raising my sword against you or Hoshido?”

“If you don’t, you’d be raising your sword towards Nohr. And I know that you’re not going to do that.” Kagero’s tone as severe, but Takumi could tell that she wasn’t trying to be hostile. Corrin didn’t flinch.

“No, I won’t do it, and I won’t need to.”

Kagero’s shoulders seemed to relax a little. “You’ll need to be fast then, because the Hoshidan Army is preparing to defend Izuno as we speak.”

Takumi felt his heart jump. “What? How did they know that Nohr was planning to invade Izuno?” he asked louder than he should have. Kagero’s expression shifted lightly.

“They don’t. But Archduke Izana requested some protection for his capital. He’s grown reasonably wary of Nohr after the attempt that occurred months ago with a nohrian mage. He doesn’t want to risk the safety of his people anymore with the Nohrian Army practically knocking at Izuno’s door.”

“… That’s certainly puts a dent in our draft, doesn’t it?” Corrin said to Takumi, she was clearly calmer than him but there was no telling exactly what she was thinking. “And there’s no way in which only the two of us can sway the hoshidan forces from not interfering with our plan, right?”

“I don’t know! If we can’t, we’ll have to think of something else!”

“… If there’s anything I can do to assist you, I beg of you to ask me”, Kagero said, and Takumi was only letting her speak out because he was unsure on how to carry on his words. “I have come this far just to find you, and atone for my previous mistakes. I am sure that your desires to stop this war are sincere, but if you want a better chance to succeed, you’ll need my help.”

Right there Kagero knelt down, bowed profoundly for him. He couldn’t say why he felt so uneasy about the mannerism she adopted. If she was somehow here in the same of Ryoma, he couldn’t know, but he really didn’t want to distrust Kagero. He wanted to believe that she wouldn’t do wrong for them.

“You don’t have to—”

“A lot of terrible things happened because I didn’t do what I had to do when the time was right, so please, allow me to serve your cause, milord. For Hoshido. For your family. Please.”

Corrin looked back at her brother, and subtly she nodded at him as if he somehow expected her approval, and he didn’t know why he waited for that in the first place. It just felt right, to be steered by her.

“Stand up, Kagero. We’ll need you from now and on.”

“Thank you, milord.”


	27. Catharsis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I want to apologize for the almost-2-months hiatus, because my old laptop straight up stopped working and I had to get a new one before school started again. In the holidays I only had access to a very chunky old pc from my brother, which made it extremely difficult to work. That, and I suffered a terrible writer's block throughout the holidays.  
> Now, this is really the longest chapter I've ever made, and I hope you guys like it; I really wanted to make up for the time that I was absent.

CORRIN

She knew that her conversations with Kagero never had much substance besides the bare minimum and the awkward silences in between discomforting words. There was an undeniable fondness she felt towards Kagero—and the ninja lady probably returned it—, but their situation would never fully allow them to become friends. In Corrin’s heart, she knew that Kagero wouldn’t simply forgive her for her faults.

“How did that happen?” the woman quietly inquired at the dark night in their little camp, little after they put out the fire. Gunter had been adamant to let the ninja stay, suspicious within the reasonable, but Corrin and Takumi vouched for her until they forced the old man to yield, not without his warning that he’d keep a close eye on her until she could prove herself. “Your eye, milady”, she continued, her index finger pointed her cheek.

“It was during the rescue mission. It doesn’t matter anymore though, the man responsible is dead.”

Corrin shook her shoulders, overcome by unnatural calmness. Takumi was far only by a few meters away from them, probably trying in vain to find sleep inside the wagon—there was only room for two people, and no matter how much they argued about taking turns, Gunter would refuse to sleep inside, leaving it only to Takumi and Corrin—. The issue about her lost eye was still touchy for some, but Corrin had tried to move past it as fast as possible.

Kagero only nodded one time without looking at her in the eye, and thereafter let Corrin return to the wagon. Kagero said that she’d sleep outside as she’s been doing it for a while anyway.

Because she’s been sharing the same space to sleep with her brother they’d be very mindful of the space between them, quietly agreeing to place a couple of boxes to separate them. It was a little too cramped for her comfort and she’d wake up with a numb arm and back pain, but nothing that she couldn’t tolerate. She wanted to respect Takumi’s boundaries as best as she could, but the worries lingered.

There were nights in which he’d wake her with his trashing and moaning during his sleep, whimpering quiet words of refusal and heartbreak, Corrin would be forced to ease him back to consciousness. She became the first thing he looked at every time that he woke from those nightmares. Corrin knew she was heavily associated to most of his trauma, but somehow, they managed to work around it in order to cope with each other… He had his own demons to fend against, but she also had her own.

After minutes of not being able to sleep, she discovered that Takumi wasn’t there anymore. He left the wagon and she carefully moved in order to hear his voice conversing with Kagero outside.

Since they met, Takumi didn’t really exchange pleasantries with Kagero, but neither did Corrin. Besides, she didn’t want to eavesdrop on them, but she didn’t want to interrupt either.

“How is Sakura?”, Takumi asked, his voice was so quiet, like a small breeze.

“She’s been holding on strong since you left, but she’s been pushing herself to work harder, I suppose, to cope from your absence. She misses you terribly.”

“… And Ryoma?” Corrin’s heart shrunk when hearing him speak his brother’s name.

“Not good, but certainly could be far worse… Lady Hinoka, however, has been recovering from serious wounds recently. She tried to fly her pegasus across the borders and she was shot down by archers. Lord Ryoma hasn’t left her side ever since.”

Takumi sighed. “I see. I just hope that he doesn’t make Sakura feel left out, as always…” There was a hint of regret in his voice instead of worry, a bitter old pain resurfacing beneath his tune.

Corrin couldn’t fully understand it, as she never knew what kind of relationship her hoshidan siblings had, other than what was presented in front of her during those months of willing captivity.

“… May I speak my thoughts?” Kagero asked, Corrin could only picture her doleful expression. “From an outsider’s standpoint, all these problems with your siblings are invisible, but for any servant, I guess they become obvious after enough observation… I wish I could’ve called out Lord Ryoma about this before.”

“Don’t blame yourself. I know that it wasn’t your place to meddle in our personal matters. And there was no helping it. We tried to hold up as best as we could. I appreciate your concern though. Not many people have the boldness to criticize Ryoma, least of all, his own retainer.”

“I was once retainer of Queen Mikoto, may her soul rest in peace, and she would voice her concerns about her foster children often enough.” There was a pause, Corrin felt like she held her breath unintentionally because of this. “She truly cared a lot for each one of you, but Ryoma and Hinoka were always beyond her control. If she had the power, she’d have done more to mend your family, I’m sure.”

“There’s no point on lamenting it. At least I can hear this from someone else, someone who truly understands what’s going on; I never truly had in me the right words to describe what was wrong no matter how much it tormented us… Thank you, Kagero.”

“I… really don’t deserve your praise, milord. I’m just glad that I can finally do something to redeem my mistakes.”

After Kagero’s words full of hurt, they quietly returned to their sleep, and Corrin found out that she couldn’t close her eyes in that darkness. Her own self-doubt and regrets would always return to haunt her. She felt sickness swelling inside as her hands reached to her tummy.

…

 

 

_“I have made a decision. You will go back to Nohr, away from all of this war.”_

_“No! You can’t do that to me, Xander!”_

_“Don’t act like you don’t trust me to lead my own army, you’re no longer in position to guide or fight—”_

_“That’s not the point here! You’re just doing this so I don’t have to advise you or dissuade you from whatever King Garon wants you do. You’ve given me that power and now you want to shut me away…!”_

_“You need to understand that I cannot listen to you anymore! Not here, not now! It hurts me to say this, but right now you’re not considered trustworthy. If I cannot trust you, then at least allow me to do this!”_

_“You just don’t want me to be there to witness how you fight against Hoshido… against my family? You want me to be overseas while I expect the news of their deaths?”_

_“… I’m your family too. I made a promise to protect you, Corrin. If sending you back to Nohr is the only way, then that’s what we’re going to do!”_

_“I know that you want to do this for me, and I know this isn’t easy for you! But ask yourself first why you’re driven to fear for my safety like this. You know the answer, don’t you? I want to trust that in the end you’ll do what you think is best for everyone, Xander.”_

…

 

 

RYOMA

He didn’t want to leave his sisters, not when Hinoka was still so broken and grieving in that bed, ridden by fever and nightmares. Sometimes Hinoka would call out for Corrin and Takumi in her dreams, and while healers were at her side at all times, she didn’t seem to improve, as if the fiery spirit residing within her was struck down to never rise again. He’s never seen someone so depressed before, and he couldn’t stop feeling like he was at fault for this for not knowing what to do for Hinoka.

The other issue was Sakura’s perceptive gaze, while they could hardly find anything to talk about and the chasm between them was so strong, Ryoma started to notice how much his little sister’s glare changed whenever they met. Her small brown eyes wouldn’t see him as The Big Brother, but merely as the flawed and frail man he proved himself to be in the last few weeks, and Sakura would express sympathy instead of respect. It unnerved him to be seen by his youngest sister in such a way.

For all what it’s worth, he always had issues about his sisters and he wasn’t proud of whom he’s become to them. Especially Corrin, if he could still allow himself to call her a ‘sister’.

Part of him still yearned for those lost years, none of which would have ever led them to such a dysfunctional relationship. If he could still take her back in as his sister, he’d do it regardless of the consequences; but that was merely wishful thinking.

He needed to think about his brother Takumi.

Nothing would change what happened or what Takumi saw, and he’d need to work hard in order to earn his forgiveness, but he greatly doubted that Takumi would intentionally bring harm into his family despite their failures. Mending this rupture between them was just as important as bringing Corrin back.

But then the spies returned. They brought word about the movements from the Nohrians stationed in Mokushu. No signs of Corrin or Takumi in particular, nothing except the crude rumors hailing from her captivity in the Hoshidan army. Ryoma had braced himself for such things to eventually come about, and the vow of secrecy of his spies brought him only little comfort. The twisted gossip was oddly shaped around the first dreadful suspicions Takumi had, and that really put Ryoma on edge.

 _He couldn’t have, could he?_ That small but pungent doubt was making him sick to his stomach. He wanted to dismiss the thought, and quickly.

The worn red mask was heavy on his head and his armor was so tight around his chest he felt like he’d suffocate. Even though he didn’t neglect his training and meditation, it was as though he aged years in the matter of weeks. The crushing acknowledgement of what he’s done to his own family was a huge blow to his pride, and it was killing him inside. If word about Corrin came to Hinoka or Sakura, it’d completely destroy whatever trust they still had on him.

In the dread of the silence in his last war meeting, he knew that he needed to leave immediately.

He needed to run and find Takumi and Corrin before things got worse. Even though in his heart he despised this unhealthy dependence and attachment—part of the reason why he chose to send her away—, Ryoma couldn’t stand it anymore: he needed to bring her back and find a way to fix everything.

Just in time, Archduke Izana sent a messenger to him, a discreet request for protection for the oncoming Nohrian Army that would surely need to pass through Izumo if they wanted to trespass Hoshido’s frontiers, a fair exchange for the healers that he lent to Hoshido in its time of need. With Yukimura’s competent mind in command, Ryoma reconciled with his options.

This was something extremely personal, and chances were that Corrin would be surrounded by her nohrian siblings; anything mistaken as a provocation would surely put them at risk and Ryoma knew that he didn’t want to involve anyone outside his family in this, scouts were out of the question.

Not to mention that he made that foolish promise to her: no killing intent should come to those that she loved. He never fully intended to keep his word on that promise so strongly as he did now.

He spent one last night sitting in the bedroom where Hinoka laid asleep, had considered to directly speak to her about his decision, but ultimately brought his paper and brush to write down a letter for her. He was never good with farewells anyway, and if he woke her now he’d cause an unnecessary strain on Hinoka.

It was still dark when he finished preparing his equipment to go out to the woods for training, he called out for Saizo to watch over Hinoka and deliver the letter. It’d serve to keep his most trusted servant busy for a few hours at least, and he knew that Saizo still respected his privacy too much to follow him around unnoticed, which was perfect, because he would rather to keep Saizo out of this for personal reasons.

Ryoma sought out for _her_ the day before and told her to meet with him out here. He felt slightly surprised that she decided to come after all, yet it probably wasn’t so surprising at all. It didn’t matter if Ryoma knew how to disguise himself, Kagero would know him on the spot he told her they’d meet.

There would be no turning back after this, he knew. He’d need to settle this matter with Takumi in person before the rumors could escalate any further.

“… Are you certain that this is what you want, Milord?”

After he explained to Kagero the purpose of the soldiers he sent to Izumo and how he’d infiltrate among them, he explained his instructions to her carefully, welcoming her questions and looking around the possibilities within her new job. Even though she was as calm as ever, he couldn’t help but to notice a drop of doubt seeping through her façade; he couldn’t say that he blamed her. Last time that he dismissed her from her duties to him (and rightfully so), and he saw a part of Kagero that he completely ignored until then.

She stared at his chest for a long moment, her dim silence was another show of her hesitation.

“I cannot think of another person to trust with this task”, he spoke, crossing his arms. “But I’ll let you know that I grant you with the choice to refuse if so you wish. I know I have abused of your fealty towards me, and for this I come to you with my eyes cast down, ashamed of myself, seeking out for your help once more.”

Predictably, Kagero bowed her head down. “You know that my life is and will always be at your disposition, even though my level of competence is indeed cause of shame. For that, I’m glad—”

“Stop that. I need an honest answer of you, I don’t want you to give up your life just because of my mistakes. We both know that I’ve… done wrong with Corrin. I should have known better than to jeopardize your honor.” Kagero’s dark eyes looked up when he dragged those last words out as if she couldn’t believe what he just said.

She shook her head softly. “The way I handled myself was terrible regardless. The least I can do now is to do a better job at following your orders and see it that those two come back safely to you.” And she did it, knelt before her master once more, something very different was moving her body, not just conditioned respect and sobriety. “Izumo it is then.”

“We’ll meet there whether you succeed in your quest or not. It’s crucial that you return to me with your life in the face of failure.”

“… You’re far too kind, Milord.”

“And Kagero.”

“Yes?”

“If you were forced to make a choice, Takumi is your first priority if he is alive. But more importantly is that you maintain flexibility in whatever situation comes up. I will trust whatever decision you make to protect yourself and others.”

“Should I tell them that you’ll await them at Izumo?”

He bit his lip and held his tongue for a moment, thinking up about how he’d handle Takumi and the consequences of his actions. Ryoma felt a chill under his neck when meeting the realization that he never truly knew how deeply he hurt Takumi. How could he possibly find the way to apologize and restore harmony between them?

“No. If they should ask, I’m still in Hoshido with my sisters. Until you arrive with one or both of them to Izumo, you shall not speak a word about me.”

“… Understood.”

…

 

 

It was raining that day.

Ever since he hid among his soldiers, he’s been denominated a mute man, a timid loner who’d appear to be daydreaming out of duty. None of this was natural for Ryoma, of course, but he needed to behave this way to not fall into scrutiny of those soldier within his unit and get discovered.

It’s been a little over a week since he returned to Izumo, the country had been as peaceful as ever if not a little quieter than usual; and since no extra parties arrived to the country in search for him, he wanted to assume that Hinoka’s response to the letter had been positive, or at least that she understood his motives.

Izumo looked exactly as he left it, though the tension in the air rose within the Archduke’s palace, as he’s been clearly concerned over the passing of Nohrians through his lands. No doubt they’d probably come visit him as well, and despite his wishes to maintain peace, his good will was already used as a weakness against him in the past by Nohrians; that could shake any man’s faith. Of course, Archduke Izana didn’t request for a violent intervention specifically, just protection in case that it was strictly needed and nothing else, and Ryoma could abide by those conditions even if it meant that they’d miss a chance to surprise their enemies.

He never liked rain much. Having the rain seep inside his soldier armor and into his clothes gave him great discomfort, but he didn’t want to avoid it, the downpour on his once-proud head and shoulders felt long overdue. The rain helped him to reminisce of quieter days.

The unit-leader called him out to step out of the rain, she seemed angry when she told him to change clothes if he didn’t want to catch a cold, and Ryoma had to oblige although he was still unused to receiving orders rather than giving them.

He didn’t stay to listen to his fellow guards sneering at him and his wet uniform, all completely oblivious to his regal nature, he swallowed his pride to make it seem like he didn’t mind. Surely they’d tease him some more at dinner, but he was prepared to block them out, especially when he demonstrated that he was outstanding during their warm-ups, making more than one raise their brows. Even disguised, he didn’t need to feign lesser strength, he was well-aware that some soldiers were stronger and more skilled than him; as long as he didn’t go swinging his Raijinto around, they wouldn’t think of him as Prince Ryoma.

Before dinning, the rain lessened. Izumo’s Castle was embraced by a grim calm as its skies darkened before dusk. With a change of clothes, a bamboo jingasa and a straw raincoat, he headed out of their little quarters, his watch about to begin around the gardens, the still-majestic gardens that were witness of the blooming of his greatest sins.

The memories didn’t trouble him anymore… As a matter of fact, he would dwell in them when he was all alone, recall with quiet fondness the touch of her lips and her turbid eyes half-closed in lust when his fingers would find her inner warmth.

He wasn’t supposed to think of her like that anymore, not when he resolved himself to take her in as his sister. And Corrin wanted to destroy that picture in his mind, she didn’t want to be seen as a ‘sister’ but as a lover; despite trying to do what she wanted, Ryoma couldn’t stop wanting her as both. His feelings for her were an abomination he couldn’t escape from, and to ever unlock them would be the death of everything he loved.

_You want to think that this forbidden love is beautiful, but it’s not. You’ve done nothing but to overcomplicate everything. You aren’t worthy of her…_

That rainy night, he strolled outside the terrain of the castle’s gardens, part of his guard routine and also his personal search. There was a spot he marked on one of the outer trees to indicate his point of reunion with Kagero, he ran into it every night without fail. The guards were smart, but Kagero was a trained ninja, sneaking unnoticed shouldn’t be a problem.

He didn’t stray far from that point, but he delved into the thicker of the groove surrounding the palace walls, a chill ran down his spine when a suspicious figure entered his vision, amidst the grass and tall trees, one of a familiar height and a way to walk. That figure was lonely and it stopped its tracks when it saw him too.

Too much a coincidence, might as well be the cursed fate that brought them together and apart again and again, but for long seconds he stared at her, the shape of her lower face shown beneath the hood of that dark cloak, and he could tell that she was staring too. The world stopped around them and they were enclosed to this one instant.

No restraint, no shame, he rushed to her side with his heart out of his chest. After he trapped her in his arms, he felt just slightly distraught with how easily he gave in to this longing that holed deep inside him. He dreaded this, but he couldn’t stop himself from wanting to be with her.

“I found you. I can’t believe that I found you…” he whispered with his mouth against her face, his hot breath damped her skin, his arms couldn’t let go of her stiff shoulders that slowly started to soften into his embrace. “I can’t believe that I’ve let you go. I was such a fool!” He noticed below that her hand had gripped the hilt of a sheathed sword the whole time.

He removed his gloves and the scarred skin of his hands was bitten by the cold air and the raindrops. He wasted to time to cup her warm cheeks with them, lifting the hood off Corrin’s face. She whimpered: “What are you doing here?”

“I’m—”

His body wanted to give away to that pain again, seeing how his Corrin physically changed again. She was still recognizable, but in many ways, she seemed like a very different woman. Perhaps it was just his powerlessness towards her roughened appearance, because his decisions played a part to the new wounds she wore.

“I should have been there with you”, he murmured, slowly taking in what became of Corrin. While it seemed like she gained some weight and her hair had grown shoulder-length, her face had lost color and her right eye was replaced by a piece of black leather.

“… You cannot lament yourself for this, Ryoma. I had to be there and I did as best as I could. An eye was a small price to pay for saving Takumi”, Corrin said while his thumb rubbed near her eyepatch, her voice was coarse and her expression was mixed between dread and resignation.

Ryoma didn’t have words to apologize to her, he owed her so much more than what he could offer, so his lips did all the job against her bruises, somehow hoping to kiss away the bitterness that pulled them apart; after all, the last time that they spoke to each other she smacked his face angrily and he decided to send her away on her own.

But why was Corrin here alone? Those were questions he should’ve asked first instead of lamenting. But he just wanted to have this, he just wanted this reunion to last just a little longer…

Her left eye was locked on him, looking at him in the same way she did when they found consolation in their solitude, and Ryoma understood that she reciprocated that yearning.

Corrin’s forehead touched his and they stilled like that for a moment, allowed the chills to settle down and take in the brevity of this moment while their heads were soaked by the rain. The only warmth they had was that of each other’s breaths on their faces, her hands finding their place momentarily on his temples, stroking his head softly if not lovingly; her nose was touching with his.

Ryoma could tell that she was still at loss for words and actions, and he couldn’t decide if he should coax her into accepting his affection once more.

He kissed her again, yet he felt the tension in her jaw when he kissed her face, as if she couldn’t completely let herself into ease. Ryoma suddenly felt bad for doing that. He wasn’t supposed to do any of this anymore lest his regrets had such little weight in his heart; Corrin was at least holding herself back.

“Forgive me”, he said, giving Corrin space.

But it wasn’t just her to whom he needed to apologize to. Takumi would also need to hear it from him.

 “… Where is Takumi?” he questioned.

“Far back. My retainer is with him. I told them that I needed to take a piss.”

The crudity of her statement took him off-guard but it granted him with new insight of her situation. Corrin didn’t mention Kagero either, it would be better if she didn’t know that it was him who sent for her.

“You mean your retainer from Nohr?”

“Yes. Believe it or not, there were a lot of people still faithful to me in the Nohrian Army, though I decided to not bring many with me. I hope that you understand why.”

“I suspect that nobody close to you was involved…?”

Corrin shook her head. “No. The man behind that feat sent his own forces to act out of line, and as you probably guessed, it was Iago, the King’s former tactician; my nohrian allies didn’t hesitate to strike them down at my command… We managed to save Takumi before it was too late.”

“I see.” A small tension in his shoulders was released, somehow thankful that she was vague enough to not make his mind dwell too much on Takumi’s well-being. “Did you two make amends…?”

“We could have used some more time to figure out our problems better, but he does trust me enough to stick around.”

“That should be enough. You’ve really done the best you could. Now… all that’s left is to take you both—”

“Wait, don’t. Not yet. He is fine, I promise you that, but now is not the time to meet him.” Her voice was stern while her strong hands held his arms, and her only eye looked at him with strange sadness. “There’s a reason why we were unable to return to Hoshido until now. Is it true that there are hoshidan soldiers guarding Izumo? I… I need you to make them retreat.”

Ryoma started to feel a pit inside his stomach when her eye looked down momentarily, as the severity of what she said started to sink into him.

“What? Izumo needs protection, they want protection! Why…—what are you planning?” he demanded, kept his voice as cool as possible. Wariness and distress attempted to resurface through his skin, but he was still good at keeping his composure. “The Nohrian Army is going to pass through Izumo peacefully, won’t they?” However, despite his best efforts, she couldn’t even look at him in the eye.

“Corrin, answer me.”

She was frozen under the gentle rain, her expression as miserable as the day he forced her to surrender in Macarath. A pained breath took off from her mouth before glancing back to him with a pleading look.

“… Ryoma, please listen to me… please…” That pause after her whispers caressed his skin felt like an eternity for him. “I’m going to do something that you may not understand when it happens, something that I’ll do in everyone’s best interest. But I want you to trust me on this, and I want you to trust in Takumi too. We’re working to put an end to this war for good and we can only do it this way… So please, put your pride aside and let us see this through. Call off your soldiers from Izumo.”

He couldn’t believe his ears, but thanks to his vulnerability towards her, he didn’t reject the notion of retreat instantly, as his stubbornness wouldn’t have allowed him to consider that idea for one second. It didn’t mean that he didn’t feel anything wrong about this request.

It couldn’t be that she was lying just to cause harm to Izumo or Hoshido, even less likely if Takumi was truly complicit in her plans, but Ryoma couldn’t turn away from the fact that she chose to not disclose specific information about what exactly she was planning to do… and in the way that she spoke, it didn’t seem like it’d fare good. She was unable to make promises that everything would be fine. She could be as well asking him to let her walk into her death.

But was this the moment to show his distrust towards her after all that he’s put her through?

With his strained hand he touched her face, he felt his own expression soften in a resigned manner. She looked as heartbroken as he felt. “… Just promise me that you will return.” His words felt empty, useless, but he had to say them anyway, even if just to observe her reaction.

Corrin didn’t look up, didn’t give him a response. His hands were wet, he wasn’t sure anymore if it was only the rain.

In that moment, there was a gradual increase of the rain, strong enough to mute any words they had left to say. But they didn’t have any.

Her hands grabbed him from his ponytail and pulled him closer, her mouth captured his sloppily, her teeth grazed him hard enough to bruise, but they didn’t care. They drank the rain from each other’s faces, as the water joined their bodies in a damp mess, against the roughness of one pine trunk.

They first confessed their love under a tree like this months ago, when she was just his ‘sister’, when she was just a traitor.

It all happened too fast, time wasn’t something they had of spare; the rushing warmth when they undid their lower garments for that much-needed contact, the clumsy way in which she had to guide him with her hand, the forcefulness in which their hips met while her moans were lost in the downpour…

Ryoma was in awe when her body clung to him, as if somehow she had become even bigger and stronger than him in the time that she was away, he thought that her nails on his shoulders would sink hard enough to draw blood. This wasn’t a moment to entertain pleasure, he was sure that they were both in greater physical pain than ecstasy while colliding like this; the most appropriate way to brand this encounter would be a clash of passion and emotional tension.

By the time that he was finished, he could hardly catch his breath with the raindrops on his face, and the water was so warm running down her now sluggish body.

The rain would stop soon, and this would be the one last time it’d wash away their shame. Ryoma knew it for those long seconds in which he rested against Corrin’s heaving chest, that this was probably the last time they’d ever be together like this. Their fate and burdens were unforgiving and no catharsis could ever change that.

…

 

 

CORRIN

Gunter was afraid that she caught a cold since she returned to their campsite—an abandoned watchpost nearing Izumo’s castle—with her clothes soaking wet, she got reprimanded by them for taking so long, she half-mindedly told them that she was enjoying the rain way too much. Gunter knew that this was true, but Corrin was aware that it seemed unusually reckless of her.

Takumi seemed apprehensive about her long absence, but let it go as soon as she neared her sore body into their little fireplace, quickly disposing of her soggy cloak, leaving only her small black tunic on to warm up to the heat. Kagero asked a question to her, but Corrin only nodded by instinct as she didn’t really pay attention. She wasn’t feeling particularly cold either, but her mind was still a mess after what she just did outside.

_There’s no way they could have heard us, with this rain I can barely hear my own thoughts._

Corrin felt extremely regretful for not telling Ryoma the truth. She withheld this very important information from him because she was afraid that it’d ruin her plans. It was unfair to not trust Ryoma with this while she asked for his trust in return, but Corrin was certain that she was doing it for the greater good.

And she decided it from the moment that she realized that she wanted this child: the path to victory would be a most treacherous one and she’d have to execute her plans with a heart of stone. For this war to end, she needed to sacrifice something precious to her.

She finally came in terms with the fact that a lot of people she loved would hate her for her actions… and she was already prepared for that burden, unlike last time.

They had a meal consisting in meat leftovers from the deer of last time, they sat in silence around the fireplace and Gunter sniffed loudly, indicating that he might have caught the cold because of the weather. Corrin, on the other hand, was alright. She should be sick but she wasn’t. Takumi was on the meanwhile cowered inside a thick robe, protecting himself from the cold as much as he could, Corrin could see his arms tremble underneath. Takumi looked back at her and grunted something to her about at least covering herself up; Gunter hastily handed her a dry coat after apologizing to Kagero for sneezing right in front of her.

Takumi's eyes would rarely abandon her during their supper.

It was hard to say how he was generally holding up. Some days he could go on as if all those terrible things were long-forgotten, but on other days he would regress. He was self-aware enough to not make it into everyone’s trouble, Takumi was incredibly strong on spite of what he went through, but Corrin knew that she was the one motivating him to move forward. There was dependence forged between them, and she knew that it was going to become dangerous if she let it be.

When Kagero seemed to be nodding off on her own corner and Gunter already snored with his back against the wall, Corrin felt a tug on her shoulder right before her head could finally drop to the improvised pillow. Takumi was still awake and looked down at her with a restless expression. If he had to wait until everyone else was asleep to talk to her, Corrin was obliged to listen to him closely, as drowsy as she was.

“Something’s wrong?” she murmured, observing his eyes cast down for a moment.

“… I’m just a little uneasy. We don’t even know if everything will turn out how we planned. I feel like we are risking too much with what little we have to confront King Garon. I feel like between me and Leo’s retainers, even with Kagero’s help, we won’t be enough to fight against King Garon’s personal forces.”

His worries were perfectly sustained. It was a flawed plan, even Leo admitted to it, but they were meant to work around those rough edges one way or another.

“I know. But I have it figured out” she said, but her words came off as unconvincing before she could correct herself. She was just feeling tired.

Takumi huffed irritated, “Somehow… I can’t believe that. What if you mess it up? Who’s going to look after you if that happens? Who’s… going to look after the others?”

What he wanted from her wasn’t really an answer or a plan, he sought for reassurance. Right in this moment she wasn’t the best person for that, but she was the only one. Comforting Takumi was already hard, but to do it while pretending that what transpired during the downpour with Ryoma didn’t occur? She couldn’t relieve this drama a second time.

But she was getting unnecessarily nervous, Takumi didn’t have a reason to know nor she had a reason to share. All she could do was to reassure him of his place and the outcome of this fight.

“If anything goes wrong, I trust that you’ll know what to do when the time comes” Corrin said, placing her hand on his. “I’m worried about Azura too and I don’t want to think about what is her song going to do to her, but it was her choice to go through with this as well. Whatever happens in the end, we’ll keep moving forward. I’m counting on you, Takumi.”

Corrin didn’t realize for how long her hand rested on his until after he turned his eyes away timidly. She was briefly afraid that she overstepped her boundaries with him, but he didn’t say anything, letting her move her hand away softly.

He breathed, “After this, if we make it out alive… where will you go?”

Corrin blinked, unexpectedly at loss for an answer.

“I’m not sure.”

She never truly thought about her own place after this fight. Corrin was determined to live and protect the life growing inside of her, but she knew that she couldn’t do it all on her own. Surely some people, would be willing to look after her during her pregnancy, but... with the things that she would do, her place to be would be uncertain at best.

Suddenly, Takumi’s eyes seemed to open wide and his hands reached for hers out of impulse; his lips were trembling, “If you don’t have anywhere to go, I’ll—I mean, I know that no matter what the outcome is, it could be hard for you to find a place to go, so I thought… maybe we could… run together.”

And then Corrin’s blood froze. Takumi rapidly got flustered and let go of her, looking away with a pained expression. “Sorry! I don’t know what I’m saying! That was stupid!”

He crawled away from her, clearly panicking; Corrin would panic if he started to speak louder. All she could do was to reach out for him again, the touch of her fingers on his arms eased the tension a little. Takumi looked down, embarrassed and frustrated.

“I… don’t want you keep getting hurt because of stupid things, so wherever you go, I’m coming with you.”

“You’re sweet.” She’d be lying if she told herself that she wasn’t moved by him, but she wasn’t as naïve as to not be able to read him. And it hurt to see it. Corrin smiled softly, allowed her hands so warm him for a bit longer. “I trust that you’ll protect me when I need you to, but there’s a place where you already belong. You don’t need to follow me to prove yourself.”

He shook his head in resignation. “You’re making this sound like a goodbye.”

“But it’s not.”

And Corrin felt angry, not with herself, not to Takumi, but to the way that it turned out this way. Despite everything she did to earn his affection, it would’ve been decidedly better if he chose to hate her instead; then the possibility of this farewell would hurt even less.

With her body feeling sore and restless, Corrin laid back on her bedding, expecting that her little brother would soon follow, that he’d do what was right for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ryoma kinkshamed himself in his confusion. It was not effective.
> 
> Please leave your feedback if you can. It'll help me a lot to find some motivation to write.


	28. Manipulative

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me almost a whole month, and I didn't anticipate that this would be so long either, so I'm very sorry about that. I got caught up between school stuff, a new fanfic sketch and Overwatch (I waited a whole year to buy this game, can you blame me?). I still don't know if it'll take me less time to post the next chapter, but I'll do my best to make up for it. I don't want to rush it and feel bad about it later. Thank you so much for being understanding and patient with me.

AZURA

So long as Camilla and Elise didn’t come close enough to see him they wouldn’t notice the difference. Xander didn’t even deign to check on him at all, probably out of shame. Corrin’s butler wasn’t even suspected to impersonate Takumi for all the time he was kept in discreet captivity; Jakob’s job was merely to trick those few people that he was the hoshidan prince they were supposed to shield from King Garon, who’d no doubt execute him on the spot.

The long march from Mokushu to Izumo took some setbacks, some were deliberately created by Leo’s men, other just convenient accidents that would buy them a few hours at most. Leo would rarely leave Azura’s side throughout their march, but they bode their time to not cause discontent to the Impostor Garon, who’d often demand the presence of his ‘children’ just to make sure they were compliant. Azura couldn’t shake away the feeling of anxiety whenever she was to act as one of his children as well, even if he wouldn’t even grace her with one gaze at least.

“How are you holding up?”, Leo queried when she was finally allowed to rejoin to the front of the army.

“Not so good. I don’t know how well I would’ve handled being in his presence without Xander nearby. I’m just thankful that I appeared to be more scared than defiant before him.” Azura said,  lowering her voice as she caught Xander walking past them, coming from the same direction that Garon was.

Lately Xander’s figure didn’t walk as tall as it was supposed to be, and not only Azura seemed to notice that.

“That’s what usually works”, Leo replied, he turned back to his steed. A melancholic sigh left his thin lips as he guided the animal by pulling its reins, too stressed to even ride it. “Keep your head up. We’re finally here.”

Indeed they were. The gradual change of scenery from the almost forlorn groves of Mokushu to the lush meadows of Izumo had been a necessary mood-changer for their next plan, although having King Garon almost breathing on their necks the whole time easily ruined any spare moment of calm. Things would escalate to their worst outcome as soon as Garon found anything resembling opposition throughout their passing on Izumo’s villages.

Today Azura literally forced herself to leave bed despite most of her body not wanting to cooperate; as they all knew that this would be the day they would face their greatest enemy, she was ready to give up her life for their cause… but deep inside she also knew that she didn’t want to die. Azura wanted her body to stop shaking.

Elise approached them from behind on their quiet walk, tugged lightly at Azura’s hand, stirring her away from her thoughts.

“Sister Azura, can I walk next to you?”

“… Yes, of course.” She never got used to the youngest princess’ need for physical contact, but Azura at least tried to be patient with the loving young girl. Leo was close by, and he sighed at his little sister’s antics. “Elise, wouldn’t you rather be on your horse? Walking for so long can be exhausting.”

“I was tired of sitting there, and I get all kinds of cranky when I don’t get to move for too long”, she answered, her long pigtails flailed when she shook her head. Elise was suddenly quiet and pensive for a few moments, something that was unusual in Elise’s behavior. “It’s always my fault, isn’t it? That Corrin always gets into trouble.”

Azura couldn’t help to frown a little. “Don’t say—”

“But it’s true! I… I made Xander send her away and I know that she must be angry at me!”

At that moment, Leo intruded. “Look, Elise… there are certain things that are beyond your control and it’s useless to fret over them, because in the end, Corrin is subject to the consequences of her decisions. Besides, I’m pretty sure that you’ll meet her sooner than what you imagine. She won’t be mad at you, I promise.”

“I should hope so”, Elise said, and suddenly she opened her eyes as if a forgotten thought crossed her mind again, making her way back to her mare and fetching some stuff out of her saddle bags. “I brought the magic staves that you asked. It’s to cast immobilizing magic, right?”

“Yes. I’ll be handing these over to my retainers and—”

But Elise opened her mouth again. “I’ve learned to use this magic as well… I will keep one with me, just because.”

Leo’s face tensed for a moment, but he was quick to let it go.

“I’m sure you’ll give it a good use, just let me know when you’re going to use it, alright?”

Elise agreed to her brother, and eventually returned to find her sister Camilla, who no doubt would be better suited to comforting the young one. Leo could handle the stress, but he’d welcome a little bit of space before the storm would break.

Izumo had a beautiful capital, the trees growing so tall it seemed like they’d touch the clouds, the houses so pristine and the people so quiet… but it was hard to fully appreciate its heavenly beauty when the Nohrian army was cleaving through its streets, carrying the foreboding promise of violence like a dark cloud overpowering the crystal-clear skies. The troops headed straight to the capital’s castle, confident that Izumo had no will or strength to threaten them once they headed there.

At that moment, just as foretold, King Garon advanced with his own steed along his personal forces towards the castle, just passing by his children. “Azura. It’s time.” Leo coaxed her as they followed the King in subservient silence.

Azura couldn’t bear looking back at the civilians who were watching with both awe and helplessness how the nohrians overwhelmed them in numbers, quietly resigning themselves to inaction due their home’s law. She was thankful at least that they would be prudent enough to not respond to this provocation… for the time being.

Nobody would have predicted the thing that just made all of Garon’s troops halt their pace at the moment of their arrival to the large courtyards of Izumo’s castle. Even Xander, who was close behind his ‘father’, stopped, deeply puzzled by what they encountered at the entrance of the courtyard. The crowd of soldiers started to get restless and speak to each other in confusion.

It was too early. Azura’s heart started to race, so far behind that she couldn’t see exactly what was happening, and Leo who was not far from her cursed under his breath, dropping from his horse to pace towards the tumult like Azura did.

 _This isn’t how it’s supposed to happen…!_ Azura was supposed to sing once they were all in-range for the fight, and then they’d uncover Garon’s true form before striking at once. The crowd was loud and thick, making it hard for Azura to step in on her own, and she had to rely on Leo’s stronger presence while the noise escalated around them, she couldn’t even tell if she was even going in the right direction. “Damnit, we were not prepared yet!” Leo hissed, he almost needed to take her by the hand to help her get across.

If she couldn’t sing now, then it all would be for naught. It was now or never, it didn’t matter if it started prematurely. The song invaded her mind as her hand grasped tightly her mother’s pendant.

…

 

 

TAKUMI

Kagero returned from scouting after two hours, she claimed to have secured a route for them to infiltrate to Izumo unnoticed, she didn’t mention what methods she employed in order to make the hoshidan soldiers to retreat, but she claimed that the problem was ‘taken care of’. Then Gunter returned from his own scouting, having notified them that the Nohrian troops were grazing the limits of the capital.

It was their time to put their trap in motion.

“I believe I will cut my hair again once all of this is over.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Takumi questioned, he recalled that Corrin had her hair waist-long before Mother’s death, only to hack it short next time they met. But throughout the months they spent together, it started to grow a little.

“I want to see if our hair can grow at the same pace.”

“That’s a pretty dumb reason. Besides, it’ll take years before all of it grows back.”

She smiled in an absentmindedly way. “Just think of it as a goal. Let’s say, three years. In three years, let’s compare the length of our hair to see which has grown faster.”

It was still a silly reason, but he understood what she meant. In three years many things could happen, but regardless of where she decided to go after this conflict, she just made the promise that they’d meet in three years.

In her own silly way, it was her way to promise him that they’d live through this day and the years after that.

Before parting ways, Corrin placed one comforting hand on his shoulder, her only crimson eye lingered on him for a while longer. “Please take care”, she said.

This time, voluntarily, his hand reached for hers still on his shoulder.

“… I’ll be watching over you.”

She wore a form-fitting black armor that Gunter had packed for her before their escape, it completely obscured the shy growth of her belly, and where it lacked cover it would make up for mobility, one of her better fighting attributes.

Her vest reflected her ties to Nohr, and Takumi had to keep it in mind as she made it clear that she wanted to face Garon not as a vengeful Hoshidan but as a Nohrian princess. This fight was meant to deliver a clear message about which side she’s taken and Takumi understood why she wanted to do it like this. He saw her off with Gunter, to find their hiding places.

Takumi swallowed deeply as he followed Kagero to find the perfect spot to snipe at the castle’s garden: an elevated floor at one of the castle’s stories, conveniently concealed behind a tree’s thick crown. His goal: shoot Garon’s personal guards at Leo’s signal. Then… well, he’d probably try to give the monster one or two headshots if the chance presented itself. It was simple enough, yet he felt strangely loaded with great responsibility. Kagero was to remain close to him just to protect him from sneaky enemies that’d probably target him for being a sniper.

The fight would break through at the courtyard, once they set foot on Archduke Izana’s castle. Such plan didn’t come without its risks, however. The townspeople would surely know better and hide themselves in their homes, but there was no assurance that the Nohrian army wouldn’t begin to slaughter them… It happened in Cheve, and it could as well happen here at Izumo.

For a flashing moment the thought of Scarlet’s body intruded his head.

 _Calm down. Focus._ His job was small but important. Everything could end today. None of the sacrifices made in the past should be a waste if only he could maintain calm and do his job.

The gates of the majestically green courtyard were wide open, letting in a large array of nohrian soldiers, all of them heavily armed and disciplined. The fact that there were so many started to make the castle’s own guards uneasy, unable to muster the most basic demands for an explanation.

A Nohrian messenger demanded the presence of Archduke Izana immediately to discuss their terms of surrender. Too diplomatic to be true, and Takumi dreaded over how easily it could turn out to be a trap. He took a deep breath and tried to not strain his fingers over his Fujin Yumi.

In the ceremonious manner that was expected, the soldiers opened way to let the large figure on horse, a man crowned in obsidian and dressed in black and purple, his wrinkled face so impossibly gray, looked so much older than what he was supposed to be; it was but a show of regal decadence. Takumi felt a knot in his stomach as he knew right away who was that man, despite never seeing him before.

That was the monster who murdered his father and kidnapped Corrin. And right beside him was Prince Xander, still so miserably unaware of the truth.

Even Kagero seemed to tense a little, just a few steps behind him. “Keep calm.”

When he felt King Garon’s gaze shift into him, not truly staring at him, but just generally looking towards their tree brush. Takumi held his breath and stilled as something delirious and horrifying reawakened within his tattered soul.

It was as if his mind was punched back into that darkness, the memories of him losing control of his own body and mind shuddered throughout him along that sense of sinister familiarity.

_Get a hold of yourself!_

He snapped back to reality, not without realizing that his legs were shaky and his temples sweaty. For a moment, briefer than a second, Takumi just knew that whatever happened to King Garon must have been the same evil bestowed upon him not long ago. Takumi knew that he could have become the same, and that was what scared him the most.

“Is she supposed to do that?”

Kagero’s words whispered to him, and it suddenly came into the picture: Corrin had walked into the scene, all alone, only with her sword sheathed to her side, her braving frame standing right in front of the forces that followed Garon to the front.

The soldiers held up their lances, swords and bows against the present lost princess, Prince Xander looked pale and the Nohrian King seemed unamused. Takumi felt immediately appalled and his hands took hold of his bow in anticipation, knowing that this wasn’t what they planned. Corrin wasn’t supposed to go alone. Corrin wasn’t supposed to come out so soon.

Even Kagero understood that this was wrong, but she fell powerless as well, as her duty was to protect the Hoshidan prince at all costs. All he could do was to wait and observe to not blow their cover, and attack before they could attack Corrin. There was no point in waiting for Leo’s signal or Azura’s song.

…

 

 

CORRIN

The moment she stood in front of them she felt scared. It was easy to put up a tough surface in face of him, but nothing would ever change the small shaking of her knees when her eyes met the pitch black from the gaze of that fake King, the man she had to call her ‘father’ for so long.

Xander’s eyes went wider than they ever were before, perhaps it was only his body language towards the guards what kept them from immediately lunging against her. His mouth was twisted in disbelief and pure fear as his eyes would constantly dart back and forth from her to Garon. She wasn’t supposed to be here by Xander’s accounts and that would obviously upset him.

But Corrin was well-aware that she was outside her line. This was her choice, her personal move and her bet. She was risking it all by just standing here, be it sheer foolishness or bold confidence, she had decided to do this alone a while ago.

“I was wondering when you would show your face. Have grown tired of hiding like the little coward you were?” Of course, the elder scourge had to be first one to talk, surprisingly he signaled his own men to stand back as he reached preemptively to his large elegant axe on his horse’s saddle. Not a warning, but a promise.

Corrin’s own hand on her sword’s hilt tightened, but she didn’t draw. She had to resist the urge. She simply stared at him, as if the hatred in her eyes would somehow burn the monster in front of her.

There was a cruel mocking smile pulling the gray lips of the old king. “Will you raise your sword against me?” The lost princess scowled deeper, but firmly made her hand rest on her side, abandoning the golden hilt of her sword. That’s when Xander stepped in.

“Forgive her, Father, she’s no well after all the time she’s been—”

“—Be quiet!” Garon barked to his ‘son’, only to place his attention again to Corrin. Xander froze for one moment, but he was clearly panicking in silence. “I conceded you a chance to be useful and you wasted it spectacularly. Instead of becoming a daughter worthy of the glory of Nohr, you were defeated, taken again as a hostage and then opened your legs for the enemy without a glint of shame!”

To those grotesque words, she lifted her head to meet with the judgement of all those soldiers suddenly looking at each other in shock. Garon wouldn’t hold back on dragging her down, but it didn’t mean that she couldn’t fight back a bit.

“Are you seriously lecturing me on who am I allowed to lie with? You, of all people?”

It only took that to make him step down from his horse, his steps heavy and menacing. Even Xander’s steed seemed frightened for a moment, as he had to shush it quickly.

“I have nothing to answer to such an insolent child! I’ll have no qualms on ending your miserable life where you stand.”

She didn’t allow herself to show fear, just kept her head high. “Very well. If death is the only way I can atone for this insult, then so be it…!”

The crown prince couldn’t believe what he was hearing, and her eyes pinned him sooner than she was supposed to. “Corrin, what’s the meaning of this?!” Xander had to drop down from his horse too, soldiers in the background were mumbling nervously. “Have you lost your mind?”

In a way, she did.

“I’m facing the consequences of my actions. I’m no longer of use to him, so what’s the point on struggling, Xander? He will do what he wants. He always had.”

“This is madness, this is—!”

“What do you think you’re doing?” Garon’s stern voice caught the crown prince off guard; the king’s black eyes turned momentarily back to him, making Xander visibly strained. “Are you opposing to me now, my son?”

“Father, stop this non-sense now! You can’t do this again!”

“You dare so much as to give another step and I will make sure that you fully understand the price of disobedience.”

Xander was growing more and more anxious, the opposition and fear breaking through his face as the glimmer of that axe’s edge reflected Corrin’s face from where she stood. “There’s no point on punishing her like this, Father! There’s no point in this cruelty and you know it!”

“Son. I taught you that this cruelty is never senseless, for our country needs more than just empty words and blind compassion to thrive. And I will not allow my kingdom to drown back into the mud just because of a rotten woman’s misadventures. Never again. If you understand the true nature of this world, you will understand why there’s no point in forgiving this woman.”

Her heart begun to beat faster when she saw how Garon’s words made her big brother falter, his foot couldn’t make another step. While Takumi would certainly shoot his arrow towards the man before he could strike her, she knew that all of this would be in vain if Xander didn’t take action.

“Xander…!” Corrin worded, almost pleading.

She made eye contact with the king for a moment, feeling a chill down her spine as an unfamiliar new dread seized her, like an invisible icy grip that wanted to feast on her most well-hidden fears. There was no name to the kind of horror she was feeling, but the closest she’s ever felt to something like this had been when she found Takumi possessed at Iago’s camp.

It was one long jump all that it took, a heavy swing of that cruel axe, Garon’s appearance was deceitful to the eye, he was faster than what she counted for. Corrin recalled something again at that moment in which she made an involuntary step back, her hand instinctively reaching to the Yato’s hilt in a way her arm would shield her womb.

A loud shrill of iron edges colliding on each other, the dark light pouring from Xander’s sword, Siegfried, shone on Corrin’s eyes as well as the sudden hateful snarl of Garon. Xander wasn’t tremendously skilled, but with his physical strength on his advantage, he managed to push the King away with his blade.

This show of opposition would be a steep price for him, but she decided to drive him into action the only way she knew that there was no other way to force him into action, although it turned out to be incredibly dangerous for herself and the innocent child she carried.

And Xander decided to come to her aid, knowing all of what was at stake.

Her big brother growled, his sword still risen defensively between him and the axe of the dark king. Xander was practically seething as he spoke. “Why did you even have to take her? Why did you even have to tell me to treat her as my sister? What was the point of it all, Father? What in heavens is wrong with you?!”, he demanded.

To this, Garon did not hesitate to strike again at full force, so hard it made the prince fall on his back from the impact. The soldiers were both silent in disbelief and anticipation. “Xander, get up!” Corrin exclaimed as she grabbed his arm to pull him up from his vulnerable position. She was responsible for this.

She had to press him in the right place to make him acknowledge Garon for the monster he’s been all this time, make him find the motivation to do what was right, even if her methods were less than honorable.

The old king groaned, his black eyes were cold and empty, maybe even dead. Xander seemed to hesitate for a moment, but when Corrin unsheathed the Yato and stared back at him, he seemed to have found a little bit of reassurance.

“Prince Xander has turned his back on his country! Kill him for the honor of Nohr!” Garon commanded in grave voice, and for a moment, most of the soldiers hesitated too. In the blink of an eye he decided to ostracize his own ‘son’ as if he was nothing. “You dare to disobey?!” Enraged, he swung his enormous axe again towards Corrin and the Crown Prince. A group of Garon’s most loyal warriors grouped next to him with their weapons out, while in the background chaos was unleashing between Xander’s supporters and those who were still with the King.

It was at that moment when Corrin watched as arrows made of light fell into the men who threatened her and Xander. Takumi rightfully decided that it was better to act now. One of the arrows landed on the armored shoulder of the King, which barely made him react at the pain. Xander was starting to understand what was truly happening, merely staring back at Corrin with incredulity; there would be a right time and place to apologize and explain.

“Don’t just stand there! Attack them!”

Soldiers came for them, more arrows flew, and Xander was ultimately forced to unleash the cold wrath of his own sacred blade. Corrin on the other hand had to be more conscious about what enemies to attack and how to strike, as the safety of her unborn child was the catalyst for this disarray. She was still as skilled and deadly, but she couldn’t let it get over her head.

“What’s the meaning of this, Father?!” Camilla yelped from above, she was riding her black wyvern and her voice clearly gave away her distress.

“You! Prince Xander has betrayed Nohr along with Corrin. It’s your duty as the second in succession to defend your country!”

Even though she was far up on the air, Corrin could tell that her big sister had paled upon hearing those words, and Garon’s voice had imprinted a deep fear in Camilla. But then she exclaimed: “I can’t do that! Don’t ask such a thing from me! They can’t possibly be—!”

“CAMILLA, I HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR INSUBORDINATION. WILL YOU DO AS I ASK OR TURN AGAINST ME?”

He was pressing Camilla, but her priorities were solidified the moment she realized she had to choose between obedience and protecting her family. With a painful grimace on her beautiful face, she unsheathed her own axe, but her wyvern’s flight didn’t waver towards her siblings. “… I’m sorry, Father!”

This whole ordeal just seemed surreal for Corrin too. She’s been fooled during most of her life and she’d never forget her shock when she first defied Garon’s orders and how tight was his leash around her siblings’ necks… how much they feared for their own lives because of him. And today she was forcing them to fight back.

Arrows that could only be from Takumi kept on firing straight to Garon, who’d taken a share of them to his armor, but still unaffected, and he’d effortlessly deflect those aimed to his head with the cheek of his axe. The arrows then just started to find Garon’s supporters.

When Camilla lunged down to tackle the guards of Garon, the old man swung his axe towards her wyverns and knocking her off, making her scarcely avoid a deadly blow; Xander tried to intervene again, only to be pushed off again with similar luck. Corrin was left open for a moment, and she rose her sword above her body to avoid getting hit by that large axe. The clash nearly pushed her off balance, but she stood her ground despite being so close to the monster who ruined her life.

“I should have known a snake like you would try to put my own children against me.” the towering king muttered, he didn’t sound hateful but perhaps just slightly inconvenienced.

“They’re not your children!” Corrin spat, her anger turning into strength every second she had to look into the King’s eyes. That wrath was quickly crawling under her skin even though she tried her best to keep cool in front of him, as if something within that man was forcefully drawing out the worst of her.

With a burst of sheer force, Garon pushed her away to momentarily made her jump back. He was ready to swing his axe horizontally towards her stomach and she panicked for a moment, knowing her movements were not fast or strong enough to avoid that blow just in time.

That was when the ground between them broke violently and tree branches sprouted to hinder not just the axe’s swing but also Garon’s arms, the branches so strong that they cracked the black armor of the evil King. Such magic could only be that of the tome of Brynhildr.

And then the sweet sound of a singing crystalline voice started to gradually grow stronger. Corrin’s heart started to beat faster when her head turned into the direction Azura’s voice was coming from. _No, not now! You don’t need to do this… !_

Corrin saw Leo far back on the distance, his sacred tome shimmering in his hands, and Azura at his side, with a golden lance on one hand and grasping a blue tender light in the other. She was singing with an unusually fiery expression in her face, which only made Corrin’s heart shrink.

But the effect that it was having on Garon was frighteningly immediate as he started to cower in pain, his gray skin turning sweaty in a matter of second as he gasped for air. And at the same time, the dulcet tones of Azura melted away the anger that strained her since the start of the encounter. But this didn’t wash away her worries at all.

Azura was singing, and therefore she was putting her life in danger with an unspeakable power.

Garon forced himself to pull back his arms away from the trees as he turned to Azura. He was weakened, but still strong enough to carry his axe and yell at them. “You…! Is this how you pay your Father?”

In that moment, the King ran at an unpredictable speed towards the young man, the heavy axe ready in hand. Nobody could have predicted what happened next. Magic was strong, but it was a slow and an unfitting weapon for close range. Leo tumbled back as he pushed Azura as far away as he possibly could, held his right arm close to his chest and the other arm above his head to protect himself from the attack. “Leo!”

The song stopped abruptly, instead Azura cried both in shock and pain, and Corrin along Camilla and Xander sprinted after their ‘father’, just to witness their bloodied young brother lying on the ground, struggling to breathe as the large axe struck down again and again.

Xander screamed. “LEO!”

“NO! NO MORE OF THIS!” Camilla wailed.

The mixing noises of cries of anguish deafened Corrin as her blood suddenly ran hotter and hotter, filling her and falling down a pit inside of her. Her hand twitched on her sword, and suddenly all that she cared for was to dip her blade red into the back of that monster. The back was full of light arrows from the Fujin Yumi.

But Camilla and Xander were way ahead of her.

Camilla roared and swung her terrible axe to the side of her ‘father’ so violently that it pushed him to the ground, Xander used the dark magic embed in his sword Siegfried to cleave into Garon’s armor, pushing him further away from Leo. This shocking display of brutality wouldn’t do anything for Corrin’s anger.

Leo was right there, Azura hurried to his side and her white dress easily absorbed the crimson, the stains growing alarmingly fast. The maddening feeling that she was going to lose her little brother again made her feet leap and with her grip tight on Yato, she went in for the kill.

But it was at that moment when something went bizarrely wrong with Garon’s beaten body, the soldiers immersed in their own chaotic battle started to pay attention to the way in which the fallen king’s body started to smoke with a violet hue, which faster than what anyone though, it overwhelmed the sight of Garon’s figure.

Xander and Camilla back away, Azura too as Elise came running in panic to see Leo broken there, everyone was speechless and horrified in face of the incomprehensible form their ‘father’ took.

Corrin’s blood pumped even faster. A monstrous body distorted beyond recognition the image of the King, a thing so vile and twisted that it should only exist in nightmares, and the giant red orb that was his eye was boring into her, drawing out her wrath and fear along with her desire for revenge. The thing was not a human in mind or body, but a monstrous dragon, and the gruesome form it took only invited madness, casting a spell of violence on Corrin.

_THIS IS MY TRUE FORM. COME AND KILL ME IF YOU DARE, PITIFUL PRINCESS._

The words were burned inside her mind, she couldn’t think, she couldn’t even understand how was that beast able to say them, but she didn’t care. Rage was her only guide, and the sword on hand just the means to an end.

Not even a scratch. The sword just couldn’t cut into the scales of that monster. But she wasn’t thinking, blinded by pure anger, she discarded the useless sword and released a growl not entirely hers, but still could only be hers. Her own body transformed into what her heart reflected, what she’s always been in nature, and with a ferocity that could only be match for a dragon, she leapt towards the other with her claws open, her jaw ready to tear him to pieces.

But within that fit of rage, her thoughts were being lost little by little into that wide sea of nothingness, drawing her deeper into a place she was afraid of. A voice in that dark sea alerted her, but she didn’t know what it was or what it meant, but it was drowning her.

“It is done, stupid child. It’s finally done.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you noticed that in the last few chapters I gave Corrin less and less POVs and if she got any, they'd be a little cryptic? This chapter was the main reason why I did all of those things. Corrin, despite thriving to become a 'good' person and naïvely trying to prove her heart, has learned that just being honest and earnest in every regard isn't always the best choice; she knows that hurting someone she cares about for their own good is also a valid tactic to win.  
>  **EDIT: Okay, That whole comment about Corrin being manipulative might have been just a mini-panic attack from Yours Truly, because I actually forgot all the previous times I made Corrin into a manipulative piece of garbage, and I apologize for making a Big Deal about this chapter in particular.**
> 
> Don't forget to leave any feedback. It's encouraging to know that there will be people who like what I do or would like me to improve in any way.


	29. Dragon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had some troubles finishing this chapter, but it's finally here. I was greatly inspired by NieR: Automata's soundtrack while I was writing... so you can probably expect a very long action-packed chapter with lots of emotions.
> 
> If everything works out for the best, I will be able to finish the last chapter along with the epilogue pretty soon. I hope. Not making promises.

TAKUMI

The moment when Corrin was attacked his breath hitched and Fujin Yumi’s power answered to his command, but when Prince Xander got in the way, he hesitated. He could have shot Garon without fail, could have given them an opening at least… but that wasn’t what Corrin would have wanted, not in the situation that she created.

It was clear that she did this to inspire her siblings into fighting against Garon, which was far riskier than Leo’s original plan… but Takumi understood why she felt the need to do it like this. It wasn’t just to force her siblings to rebel, but also to spare Azura from singing herself to death.

But somehow, Takumi knew it wouldn’t be enough to just pin all the nohrian royals against their own ‘Father’. Corrin still needed to use her Yato to banish whatever evil possessed the King, and he guessed it would take up all the power she could get.

He swallowed and sighed, it brought Kagero’s attention back to him. Kagero, who had her shuriken ready between her fingers, suddenly seemed to tense upon seeing all these new events unfold.

Takumi remained observant as the battle beneath him escalated, Princess Camilla joining in to defend Corrin and Prince Xander. Still no sign of Leo or Azura. Takumi quickly grew impatient and started to shoot with his Fujin Yumi, but Garon was very well guarded, and frighteningly so, the evil King managed to avoid several deadly blows with only his enormous axe, as if keenly aware that Takumi was right there trying to snipe him. Could he have figured out his hiding spot that easily? Takumi decided to not risk it anymore and ran to find a different snipping spot.

But then he started to hear Azura’s voice, the same mysterious song that saved him from insanity. That’s when his face started to sweat. That’s when his whole body tensed and fought the urge to not yell at her.

The following moment he watched Prince Leo fall into the ground as Azura’s song came to a halt. King Garon’s axe struck Leo once, and then twice, and before Takumi reasoned it, he had fired several arrows at the King’s back, losing himself in the desire of hurting that monster. Kagero called him out, in an attempt to stop him from straining his arms from the effort.

He felt his heart at his throat and his mind on a frenzy, couldn’t stop feeling nausea curse through his frame as he watched amidst the chaos of that fight the body of Leo lying there, desperately clinging to the magical tome in his wounded arms for dear life.

For a split second Takumi felt so sick that he could have sworn seeing Scarlet right there, bleeding on the grass.

_No, no, no! Stop that! Stop!_

Azura and Princess Elise ran to his side and quickly retired him from the battlefield, leaving bloody traces behind.

Even though Garon was being beaten to the ground by his own older ‘children’, the fight was far from over. A strange light and smoke seemed to break out from the Nohrian King’s body, and before anyone could understand what was happening, a colossal black monstrosity revealed itself.

A dragon.

Crowned in black horns, a skull so deformed that it was hard to tell where its eyes really were, but its sharp-toothed maw visibly sneered at Xander’s soldiers, who were temporarily frozen in fear and confusion. The mere sight of it was enough to make Takumi’s knees weaken, the nightmares of reptilian forms and unknowable horrors… suddenly Takumi’s hands strained on the Fujin Yumi, as if his body never knew fear before.

Takumi then watched Corrin attack alone, as if the shock couldn’t bind her legs. She roared with grief and madness, but the strike of her sword didn’t lay a scratch on that sturdy dragon’s skin. And one thing led to the other, Corrin suddenly discarded the blade and was engulfed by a brief elegant light, becoming a dragon herself.

He’s only seen her do it twice, and both times when that happened he was inside deeply traumatizing events, so of course he’d feel uneasy to watch her in draconian form, especially when he had to watch her engage the more sinister one—nearly twice her size at that—like a wild animal. Her sharp antlers would gore into the other dragon with more ease than any other weapons, but his bigger body would easily throw her back. Takumi swore he could hear Garon’s wicked laughter over Corrin’s distorted growls

She fought restlessly, she was faster than Garon, fiercer too. But it couldn’t be that easy.

After moments of hesitation, Xander finally commanded his allies to focus their strength on the abominable dragon, and that became Takumi’s cue to act.

“Azura will need me there! Go bring me the Yato, quickly!”

With that being said, together with Kagero he jumped out of his hiding spot and run to the field, went to retrieve the Yato and find Azura. His heart was still heavy inside, but he would take whatever options he had if it could spare the lives of everyone he cared about.

…

 

 

AZURA

Elise had her tender pink face streaming with tears, but she wasn’t crying anymore, as she pressed her lips together in focus for the wounds of her brother, who still struggled to breathe. The white light of her staff’s magic was stopping the bleeding and the pain to some extent, but they were in dire need for another two medics if they hoped to effectively save Leo’s life.

Azura had to hold the hand that refused to let go of the tome of Brynhildr, its pages now damped in his blood. His other arm was so heavily mutilated that it looked like it was literally hanging from a thread.

She couldn’t bring herself to sing anymore, the little harmony she needed to do it was completely disrupted and seeing to what extent Corrin decided to act in order to make her song unnecessary had struck a nerve on Azura.

But now the dragons were free. Azura wasn’t certain of what Garon’s new form meant, but Corrin charging in as a dragon herself didn’t bode well in Azura’s mind. She knew first-hand of what was Corrin capable when wrapped in that relentless rage, and even when she had the dragonstone in her possession, Azura didn’t know anymore if that would be enough to hold back the dragon princess.

When Azura heard Garon’s sinister laughter in spite of being viciously attacked by Corrin, she knew that something was terribly wrong, and it wasn’t anger alone what was making Corrin so powerful… No, it was more like Garon was becoming more passive while Xander and Camilla orchestrated their forces to assault that heinous beast.

Corrin stood on her hind legs as she lunged forward with a thunderous growl, her claws cleaving into the thick scales of the bigger dragon’s head, but it resisted and would push Corrin to the ground, much to everyone’s dismay. Corrin roared threateningly when a pair of mages approached to see if she was wounded, scaring them off.

Azura started to notice a change in the way Corrin behaved; her guts were twisting at the realization that Corrin was quickly losing herself in that outburst… and everyone else was noting it too.

Xander started to warn his men and Camilla to back off, the tail of Corrin would swing violently  from one side to the other as she was locked on fighting the larger dragon. Garon was barely moving, but wasn’t beaten yet, as bloody and bruised as he was, but Azura would bet anything that he was merely awaiting to make his own move.

Everything was a chaos, everywhere Azura looked, there was someone helplessly bleeding or crying, forced into a situation that defied their craziest nightmares. Azura’s attention drew back to Leo, now that Elise was whimpering orders to other two healers working with his grievous wounds—one of them was Niles, Leo’s most trusted retainer—, telling them to prepare to take him to a safer place. Azura hesitated, knowing that she couldn’t leave the battlefield yet.

There was no stopping this madness, not unless she intervened in the only way she could.

Ironically, despite Corrin’s original intentions, this was the most urgent moment for Azura to use her song… But would it work just like last time?

Azura rose on her feet again, seizing her spear with one hand and her mother’s pendant. She tried to empty her head of all the noise around her and took a deep breath.

 _Forgive me, Corrin_.

“Please, don’t sing yet, Azura!”

She nearly jumped at the scream, her eyes suddenly found the face of Takumi emerging from the crowd of soldiers all over the field; he was running towards her. Nobody else seemed to have noticed who he was within the chaos. “What are you doing?”

“You can’t just sing, knowing what will happen!”

At the fight on the background, in one sudden move, the huge dragon caught Corrin’s neck with his monstrous jaw and pinned her to the ground while she was still screeching wildly, struggling like a prey under a bigger animal’s force. Xander urged his soldiers to focus their strength on Garon. There was something extremely unnerving in the way that they aimed their arrows and lances to the dragon’s eye sockets but didn’t seem to stab anything. Garon’s body was something that went beyond human understanding, but Azura observed that this wouldn’t stop Xander from trying.

 “… If I don’t, then it’ll be too late for her!” Azura replied, standing her ground in face of Takumi’s denial and Corrin’s distress. “All of this foolishness just so I wouldn’t need to sing! She did it to protect me, but it’s still foolishness! I didn’t ask her to do this!”

So many things were happening at once; Xander and Camilla had to draw back when the large dragon fought back, leaving Corrin apparently unconscious on the ground. Elise cried when Leo suddenly flinched, which urged the attention of both Azura and Takumi.

“Stop moving, Leo!” Elise pleaded, her hands forced her brother to remain on the ground while the other two healers panicked. Everyone was quietly confused about the presence of Takumi, a hoshidan, before them, but Elise would just welcome anyone willing to help.

Takumi knelt beside him and firmly held him down while they were still removing his broken armor to see the extent of the injuries in his arm and chest. “Listen to your sister, you prick!” Takumi could say anything he wanted, Azura could see in his face that he was truly concerned over Leo.

Meanwhile, the battle was growing more turbulent. The dragon that Garon became started breathing fire, and Xander and Camilla’s forces were getting caught in the flames, they were all screaming in terror. Camilla had to be dragged away, her retainers had to quickly put out the fire she caught on her hair. Xander commanded his soldiers to retreat and take the heavily injured out of the field.

But something was off. More soldiers appeared out of the sides of Izana’s palace, which may or may not have alerted the nohrians under Xander’s command. Judging from a quick look at their armors and weapons, they were hoshidan.

Azura briefly caught in shock, wondering how were Hoshido’s forces here and why they went unnoticed until now… They immediately rose their naginatas and katanas at the sight of the bigger more-menacing-looking black dragon. It was worth wondering who’d be the one leading this impromptu army

That’s when Corrin rose again. Her growling had become even more wild; the clerics who dared to come close enough to mend her under Xander’s orders suddenly met with the swing of her scaly tail, sent all of them violently flying back. More screaming ensued, as Corrin went completely berserk and seemed to have lost all qualms on attacking those who were not her enemies.

 _“Pathetic worms, all of you! Two kingdoms shall perish here today!”_ The laughter that Azura just heard was not natural, and she knew that it couldn’t belong to Corrin. And judging by the look on everyone else’s faces, they heard it too.

Takumi paled, seeing those hoshidan soldiers frightened by Corrin could only bring about bad memories he didn’t want to revive, he then turned his attention back to the Nohrian Prince.

Leo was moving his thin white lips, but they could only hear breathless whimpers and nobody could understand him. He had never let go of his Brynhildr, as if his life depended on it but right there he used that good arm to grab Takumi’s collar and pull him down closer to his face, spoke to him with a voice as weak as a breeze. After a moment, Takumi nodded.

It was in that moment when Azura noticed that Takumi was carrying beside his yumi a heavy golden sword, the very same that Corrin had dropped before becoming a dragon.

“We have the Yato, but without Corrin it’s useless. What do you want me to do with it?” Takumi asked to Leo. Again, it was impossible for Azura to hear what the wounded prince was trying to say, but seeing how his glassy eyes looked at her, she could only guess. This caused an idea to spark into her mind.

“The Yato is the only thing that can expel the evil that has taken over her. I _will_ have to sing, but just enough to weaken her dragon form and make someone give her the sword.”

Takumi stared at her in disbelief.

“It’s not going to work! If she uses the sword while she’s still corrupted, she’ll wreck havoc—”

“Just trust me on this! She may even hurt herself in the process, but if she has enough willpower, then she can use the Yato to force that monster out of her body.” Despair was staining her voice, and with the sheer entropy of the battlefield with two vicious dragons unleashed, it was hard to focus. Azura tried her best regardless. “Look, I can’t promise that it’ll work, but this is better than just waiting for someone to eventually kill her or just leave her alone.”

Elise sobbed, just loud enough to demand the attention of Azura and Takumi. “I-I… I don’t want Corrin to get hurt! Please, don’t—!”

“It’s unavoidable! Elise, I beg you to understand! Both of you! Please, just… Let me do this. Please, let me sing!”

Azura knew it wouldn’t be easy to convince anyone of her idea, but right now they couldn’t abide to their personal rules to solve this problem. The end of this battle depended on the success of her plan.

With a sour resigned look in his eyes, Takumi nodded, his hands tightly grasped around the Yato’s majestic hilt.

Elise stayed behind while still attending to Leo’s injuries; Azura walked beside Takumi into the disarray of the palace’s garden, nohrians and hoshidans alike under the attack of two powerful dragons.

Azura had made up her mind. One of her hands was still on her lance while the other went to find reassurance on Takumi’s free hand. Her heart was beating outside of her chest when they both found among all those hoshidan soldiers one that stood out, the intimidating crimson armor, and the katana imbued with the force of lightning were easily recognizable to anyone who at least heard stories about Ryoma.

“What is _he_ doing here?” Takumi breathed, clearly upset.

But what was truly staggering was the fact that he was accompanied by none other than Gunter, which proved to be an odd sight for everyone observant enough. It would seem like Gunter was scolding him from very close, engaged in a tense conversation with the first heir to Hoshido’s throne.

Had Corrin told Gunter to bring Ryoma here? How would Corrin even know that Ryoma would be nearby at all? Azura decided that it didn’t really matter in the urgency of their situation.

But it didn’t wait until Xander stepped in, his sword heavy on his battered body from the ongoing fight with Garon; the moment when Xander and Ryoma’s gazes met across the field, everyone present felt the immediate tension, as if two storms were about to collide one with the other.

Xander was the first to speak out. “Stop! This is not your battle, Prince Ryoma! We’re not going to fight with you today, so sheathe your sword and turn back!”

“What have you done to Corrin?! Is this your doing?!” Ryoma was clearly on edge, his stance didn’t falter for a second.

“Hold your accusations! Former King Garon has done something to her, and we want to bring her back to her senses! If you cannot cooperate, you either need to leave or keep your soldiers in check!”, Xander replied, he didn’t soften his bearing in face of a man was supposed to be his enemy. “Just take a good look: if we cannot stop her from hurting others or herself, we’ll unable to stop the senseless bloodshed that _she_ wanted to prevent in the first place.”

Azura was surprised to see that Ryoma did stop aiming his sword to Xander, but immediately as he did, a fierce dash of silver scales ran into Ryoma ramming its dark antlers into the red armor.

Simultaneously the bigger dragon lunged towards Azura and Takumi before they could even react. Azura pulled up her lance in defense. Everyone was screaming.

…

 

 

CORRIN

Her mind was interpreting this sea of blackness as ‘death’, and her body wanted to give in to it, give up completely if it would ease her soul full of rage and impotence. A consolation prize for her failure.

If only she would stick to the original plan, Leo wouldn’t have had to die, she could have even found a way to save Azura… She wouldn’t have to break her promise. It was like all of her regrets were dragging her into these depths and she was allowing it.

All that pain, all that suffering that she had to go through ultimately achieved nothing. She couldn’t even defeat Garon.

There was a soft sound that echoed inside the darkness when she thought about Garon. There was a gentle whiteness that began to spread beneath her like cream in coffee, slowly taking form of an older woman, an old stranger that Corrin had met only briefly before. Her heart felt conflicted upon the realization of whom this gentle face belonged to. Corrin wanted to cry.

“Why? Why do you show up when I’m already…?” It was too late. Her hands stretched towards the face of her mother, Queen Mikoto, a wasted chance, a tragic brevity that marked a turning point in her life. The floating figure of Mikoto extended her arms to her, the white dress she wore still regal and shimmering with silk and gold, and from closer Corrin could tell that their faces were indeed very similar. Her embrace was strangely cold. “… Am I dead?”

She was hugging her mother so tightly that she couldn’t bother to see the expression she bore when her words came out. “Not quite. But it’s something to close to it that one wouldn’t tell the difference.” The voice felt so close, so real… but deep inside an alarm bell was ringing inside Corrin’s head, telling her that this couldn’t be real. Yet, it was taking all of her might to hold back the tears. “I have waited for so long to meet you, there’s nothing in this world I wanted more than to hold you again… My child… But I cannot invite you to stay. Giving up now would also mean the death of those we love.”

“It’s… I-it’s all my fault. I have ruined everything, Mother. How could I possibly go back after everything I’ve done? H-how can I even look at you in the eye w-when I—?”

“I understand why you did what you did, and it was all beyond anyone’s control. I wish I could have been there to help you through the choices you were forced to make… But my regrets mean nothing right now, not in a place like this…”

There was rumble that forced Corrin to separate from Mikoto. It was as if this place of dark water was aware of her existence, as she started to feel a very heavy pressure all over her being. It wanted to choke her, despite not being in a physical plane of existence. She could listen to the echoes of many voices, all of them pouring and disturbing the stillness of these depths.

Mikoto seemed to be shining now, her face having acquired a look of intense determination. “You have endured so much for so long, Corrin. Yet this evil is feeding off your hopelessness and rage, festering like a neglected wound… But within the same experiences that caused you so much pain there’s always something that motivates you to overcome, even if it isn’t much. The moment you completely give up, you will be lost forever inside the bosom of this darkness!”

Among those voices, Corrin could feel a pull that was trying to bring her up. It was too deep to make out exactly what it was, but Corrin was suddenly taken aback by how it was pulling her away from Mikoto. The former Queen’s hand rose to bid farewell.

“Mother!” It was happening again; she had to meet her mother again just to be abruptly taken away. “I don’t want to—!”

“Can’t you hear it, my child? Reach into that song, it leads you to the only way back!”

Corrin reached out again, her hand held tightly onto the fingers of Mikoto, briefly stopping her leave. “If you are in any way real, why should I leave you here?” Corrin gasped.

“Because it’s already too late for me, but not for you! I believe that is reason enough! Your brothers need you out there more than I’d ever need you here! Go!”

And she let go. But from that moment and on, it started to fade and give way to physical pain.

Her eyes were still foggy with that darkness, but indeed it was Azura’s melody what was yanking her out of that state of unconsciousness. And it was burning. Her head felt like it was pulsing and her scars felt like wanting to tear open all at once.

Even when she realized she was a dragon she felt like it wasn’t her own body. She was still in some sort of imprisoned state in which she had no control of her limbs. She was like a puppet… But where was the puppeteer?

Her vision finally started to clear, colors and louder sounds hitting her all at once. There were soldiers screaming around her, and pieces of red armor were scattered beneath her claws. A bleeding swordsman was rolling away from her, he seemed to be yelling orders to soldiers to not attack her.

‘ _R-ryoma…? No… no, don’t hurt him! Don’t—!_ ’ She tried to resist, but her massive claws lunged to him, who merely lifted his sword to protect himself. And despite her best mental efforts, she was painfully powerless to halt the alien control on her body.

She wished Azura’s melody didn’t bring her back. It seemed that Corrin would have to experience slaughtering Ryoma with her very own claws... She could bear so many things, but not this. She truly wished she could just fall back to sleep or get enough strength to stop herself, yet none of these things seemed possible.

Yet, Azura kept singing.

…

 

 

TAKUMI

That dragon, once elegant and majestic, now sporting a cruel growl and sharper edges on her silver scales, her dark antlers had grown longer and more menacing-looking and the branched scars across her chest stood out far more than usual. Takumi knew exactly what was causing these changes on her and being close to Azura wasn’t making it any less terrifying.

The young archer made it into his duty to fend off the Garon dragon from Azura, whose song would also greatly affect him too. With his Fujin Yumi he managed to get many shots at the monster, but most of them didn’t seem to affect the him. Prince Xander and Princess Camilla seemed to have made up their minds on concentrating their efforts against Garon too. Corrin seemed to be focusing her attacks only on one man.

Azura wanted to get closer to Corrin to commence her singing, and so, Takumi remained at her side. It didn’t comfort him to know that he’d need to meet Ryoma again, but it was even less appealing to see him being brutally thrashed by a creature thrice his size.

And it looked like Ryoma was not doing anything to even defend himself, most of the left side of his armor was completely destroyed, and he was clearly bleeding from his arm too.

He yelled at his men, telling them to keep at bay the other dragon. He showed more aggression towards his own soldiers than towards Corrin, who was still going to mangle him. Azura stopped waiting and started to sing without a warning.

Immediately, it seemed to affect Corrin’s frantic behavior, it slowed her down a little, but it didn’t her claw from striking Ryoma to the ground again.

Azura was clearly shaken by this sight but it didn’t stop her from singing. Takumi, on the other hand, noticed that there was something else stopping Corrin from mauling his brother, as if her legs were suddenly stuck in the ground by unseen restraints. Takumi took a quick look at the other extreme of the battlefield, watched Princess Elise standing there displaying a bright magic staff, holding a fiercely determined expression in her tender face. The magic spell cast by Elise had frozen the dragon’s legs, even if only briefly.

Although heavily injured by the dragon’s attack, Ryoma got back on his feet and limped towards her, Raijinto still held firmly by his hand. Takumi has never seen him like that before, and it was deeply disturbing to watch the slightest hint of vulnerability in the face of a man who for so long made him feel inferior.

“Corrin, it’s me.” Ryoma gasped, inching closer to the dragon, still fighting against her magical restraints. Suddenly, Ryoma removed his mask, revealing the paleness of his face without that protection. As he neared the dragon, he was met with another potent roar, but Ryoma didn’t flinch. He simply rose his katana, pointing at her. His voice was barely a sound in comparison to Azura’s overpowered melody, but Takumi got close enough to make out his brother’s words. “… I would gladly let it be only my blood to satisfy you, but I know that what you’ve become wouldn’t let it end there. If you cannot stop this anger from consuming you, I’ll… do my best to end it quickly for you. Then I’ll follow you. I promise.”

 _You can’t be serious…!_ It unleashed a reaction on the young archer, rage pushed him so fast that before he realized it, his Fujin Yumi was ready to fire an arrow to Ryoma. It was the second time he’s ever threatened his brother like this, and again, it was because he wanted to protect Corrin.

“Ryoma! Put your sword down, or so help me…!” he yelled, and in that moment Ryoma’s eyes widened.

There was no time to stare into each other, as Takumi had to throw himself towards him to protect his big brother from a deadly blow from Corrin’s antlers. Elise’s magic rapidly grew weak. One of those antlers violently slashed at Takumi’s back, surely leaving an angry red gash right there.

“Takumi…!” But the pain wasn’t enough to cripple him, finding suddenly the support of Ryoma’s arms to pick himself up while more magic was being casted to paralyze Corrin in her berserk state. There was no time to contemplate his feelings towards Ryoma or how distressed Azura looked as she continued singing, meanwhile the nohrians were still very busy with Garon. Everything was a disaster and it was impossible to keep track of everything. Ryoma’s uncovered face squinted in pain as he looked at the dragon that Corrin became. “What can we do? How can we even help her?”

“Not getting yourselves killed would be a great start”, Takumi groaned, his hand reached to his side again to grab Yato. It was strangely warm to the touch, and it was also… vibrating. Was it reacting to Corrin somehow?

He looked more closely to the blade’s engravings and he noted that all its four eyes were gleaming. Was the Seal of Flames finally responding in their most auspicious of moments? It made sense, as all four of legendary weapons —Raijinto, Fujin Yumi, Siegfried and Brynhildr— were in the vicinity.

“ _Sing with me a song of silence and blood._

_The rain falls, but can’t wash away the mud—”_

Takumi shook away his doubts, it wasn’t the time to hesitate. Every second lost was increasing the certainty of their doom, and Azura wouldn’t stop her song.

“… _Within my ancient heart dwells madness and pride._

 _Can no one hear my cry?_ ”

Wielding the Yato with its hilt facing towards Corrin, he approached cautiously. _The sword was so heavy_. There was a change on how Corrin behaved, clearly roaring in pain as the dragon’s aspect slowly melted away with blue flickers of light. A young woman in black armor with one eye shining red and face distorted in derangement, she was moaning and embracing her own trembling body.

She yelled at Takumi: “Get away! GET AWAY! I can’t hold it back! Please, just get away! Tell everyone to get as far away from me as they can! Please. PLEASE.”

He could see it in her eyes, how badly she wanted to say it, to say that they should kill her already because there was no other choice, but at the same time she couldn’t bear to consider it. The child was still growing inside of her and she didn’t want to lose it with her life. Takumi could see that, and that’s why he kept the sword closer to himself when he showed the golden hilt to her, trying to make her take it with her long claw-like hands. _The sword felt so, so heavy on his hands_.

“Don’t lose! Don’t you dare to lose, not when you’ve overcome so much already!” Takumi was so close to her and the weight of Yato was suddenly unbearable, he could hardly even tolerate carrying it without feeling his hands stinging with pain.

Corrin hesitated, there was an unseen force keeping her arm stiff, her fingers twitched when they attempted to touch the Yato’s hilt. Takumi just thrusted it into her hands forcefully, it was taking too much effort to keep holding it near her owner.

“I can’t have the sword when I’m like this! It’s not going to work—!”

“IT _HAS_ TO WORK!”

Corrin forced her hands to hold the sword, one hand on the hilt and the other on the edge. Then it became obvious that whatever force was controlling her wanted to reject the touch of the sword, it was taking a lot of herself to maintain her hands on the blade. Her skin was gleaming and pale, and the scar on her chest seemed to have obtained a more vivid color, almost as if it was pulsating; that gave Takumi an idea.

“I’m not the wielder of the sword, but this evil can only be undone by you! So help me, please!” At that moment he wasn’t sure if he was speaking to Corrin or if he was speaking to the Yato.

And so he pushed. Takumi gritted his teeth and pressed the Yato’s edge against her chest, right above the lightning scar. He could tell that it burned, she cried out but he kept pressing the blade on her. His hands were burning too, having to press the other side of the edge with his palm, slicing his skin there. He had to use his whole weight to push her to the ground, as a part that wasn’t entirely hers was resisting to the contact, pushing him apart. “It’s not enough! Press harder!” she cried, she clearly had little control on her arms.

It caused a commotion, obviously. Ryoma seemed to have hurried to place once he heard her scream, but simultaneously Kagero appeared behind the princess, as if to restrain her from doing any more rough movements. Ryoma positioned himself behind Takumi and helped to apply pressure. The extended contact that the sword had on her scar was affecting her, had her squirming in agony. “It hurts! IT HURTS! PLEASE STOP!” Corrin gave a bloodcurdling cry, as the edge of Yato began to draw red beads over the scar tissue on her chest. Her blood was boiling against the unforgiving edge of the legendary weapon, and Takumi felt Ryoma’s arms hesitate for a second.

“Just hold on! We’re here for you, Corrin! _I am_ here for you!” Ryoma said. Takumi didn’t need to guess what _that_ tone meant.

The Yato’s engraving was shining as Corrin’s fingers gripped tightly the blade, her face was red and sweaty, while the edge was cutting her skin. The sword was beaming and she was screaming.

A surge of strength pushed both Takumi and Ryoma far behind, making him fall on top of his brother. Kagero also bucked back, Corrin somehow shook her off easily. Before Takumi could even react, he watched as Elise’s magic was broken and Corrin immediately ran past them with the Yato in her hands.

To where the monstrous dragon was, Xander was the last man standing, his sword Siegfried the only thing keeping him from being killed by Garon. At an extraordinary speed Corrin dove right into an attack, her Yato found its way inside the dragon’s neck as she gave one last battle roar.

“LEAVE ME AND MY FAMILY ALONE!”

Simultaneously Xander copied her, their blades met as they sunk in the dragon’s huge neck. The blood splatter was vast and by the time they finished slicing the neck of Garon, not even allowing it to exhale one last breath, the large body started to lose its shape to a new wave of brilliant violet flames.

The air smelled metallic and ashes were rising on the air. The garden of Izana’s castle was almost completely destroyed, the castle didn’t suffer too much damage and the battle wasn’t taken into the town…

Xander, who seemed to have taken enough of a beating to tremble on his legs, rested his sword’s end on the ground and gasped for air as the body of what used to call itself his ‘Father’ was disintegrating little by little. Corrin had placed herself in a similar position, even though she was clearly less injured, her chest was still bleeding profusely over the shallow cut that her own Yato caused her.

There was something extremely haunting in the way she heaved while the weight of her body was resting against the Yato now fixed on the soil, her neck and chest slick with blood and sweat. Corrin’s expression was unreadable and Xander slowly looked up at her after seconds of silence.

Takumi wanted to run to her, wanted to offer her comfort, but everyone was staring and he didn’t want to cause a scene. Ryoma seemed to understand that as well, so he stayed his ground.

Some soldiers were cheering in victory, calling the name of King Xander, others were simply clamoring angrily for an explanation. Not everyone was going to understand what just happened, let alone, accept it. Both supporters of Garon and Xander would at least agree that they just witnessed their King turning against them in the form of a dragon.

On the distance Azura passed out on the ground and some people have gathered around her to check on her; Takumi wasted no time to rush into Azura’s side.

She injured one of her arms when Garon attempted an attack on her before, but other than that, she looked deathly pale and completely exhausted. He panicked and reached out for her hand.

“Azura… please, don’t leave…”

“I’m… not going anywhere” she responded, startling Takumi. She was apparently too tired to even open her eyes. Her voice was also so weak but her smile was soft and truthful, it soothed his heart momentarily. “… Are you alright?” He felt stupid for nodding when she still had her eyes closed, but his injured palm squeezed her hand in confirmation, he feared so much for her life and almost accepted that he’d lose her today as well… yet here she was.

But on the other hand there was Corrin and her role on the events that just transcended. When he looked back to where she stood, she was surrounded by many guards, nohrians on one side and hoshidans on the other. Ryoma and Xander were tired and didn’t issue orders for their men to back away yet, and even if they did, it was uncertain they’d agree with their respective leaders after being terrorized by the princess not long ago.

Corrin wasn’t free of guilt or consequences and nobody was in position to deny that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think? Does it wrap up like you expected? Remember that there's still one chapter left plus the epilogue!


	30. Forgiveness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! This is the last chapter of Fractal Scarring. It's also pretty loaded, so... yeah. It wasn't very easy to write either. Heads up, guys, because tomorrow I'm going to post the Epilogue, which won't be as long, but it'll help wrap up things a little better. Thank you so much for your patience!

CORRIN

Silence was cold, her wounds were uncomfortably hot and itchy on her split flesh, even after cleaning the blood off her body the sensation of filth still clung to her skin. Her injuries yet needed more treatment, but that would have to wait. His silence had Corrin on hold as they settled in the privacy of a tent, the outward chaos overlapping with the tense quietness between them.

“Xander…  I don’t expect you to understand why I had to do the things I did.”

He frowned, not looking once to her direction, pressing the bloodied cloth over a reopened cut below his left ear. “Don’t patronize me. I know exactly why you’ve pushed us this far. But that doesn’t mean that I will take it lightly”, he said, his voice wasn’t strong nor weak, but his distress was obvious. “Our brother lies in bed with grievous wounds, a miracle that he is still alive, truly. Yet, he kept insisting that all of this was his idea… he wants to revoke all responsibilities from you and Azura.” He took a deep breath and his eyes found another corner to stare. “You all knew, that… —that _Thing_ was guising as our Father. You’ve done what was right, I acknowledge that, but nothing changes the fact that you’ve manipulated us into taking part with it. It doesn’t change the fact that our people want you to be trialed for complot and high treason. And you know what? They’re have the right to make those demands.”

 _I’m their escape goat then, huh?_ She accepted his words with sour resignation. She was at least reassured that Leo was alive, giving her a small comfort to where her grieving madness hailed.

“I’ll assume full responsibility for this ploy, so long as the rest of them are left out of this”, she said, she couldn’t even pretend to feel mortified, so used she was to taking any punishment. “But Nohrian law prohibits execution of pregnant women, doesn’t it?”

“Pregnant or not, you’re not going to be executed”, Xander grunted, grown tired of her apathic demeanor. “… But your sentence no longer falls exclusively to our jurisdiction.”

“Does that mean that there’s a truce?”

“For the time being, there is”, the new King of Nohr stated, he couldn’t hide the odd bitterness entwined in his words. “You should be content with yourself.”

Strangely enough, she didn’t feel joy but some sort of vague relief. But this was what everyone had wanted all along… —No. This is what _she_ wanted all along, and after all those sacrifices, all those deceptions and trials, she made it happen. Nohr and Hoshido’s war came to a halt.

But this wouldn’t fix everything, not even close. This was a forceful peace, and xenophobic tensions were still up in the air, unresolved retributions abound… many people from both sides would be very unhappy with the abrupt end to their conflict.

It was a bittersweet victory if anything, but she knew the price she’d pay for her actions before jumping into action.

Corrin could even tell that Xander couldn’t bear to look at her in the eye anymore. Maybe he was reacting too well, all things considered. She manipulated Xander into fighting the man he called ‘Father’ and forcibly shattered any trust there was left on Nohr’s former King… Not to mention that Corrin had revealed her draconic nature to not be radically different from that of Garon.

Everyone watched her transform into a dragon and then turn against her own allies, even if it had been against her will. Xander saw that too.

“… When can I see Leo?”

“Not now. The trial will begin in the next few days, when Hoshido is fully prepared for negotiations. You won’t leave our custody until then.”

He would still protect her, but only to a cautious extent, for she knew that she lost her Brother’s trust.

…

 

 

TAKUMI

Archduke Izana was very upset about this whole conundrum taking place in his frontal garden, despite suffering no casualties of his own people, the property damage was severe. But after being given the context of the attack by Xander—who was, by surprise of everyone, vouched by Ryoma—, he backed off his threats to ban Nohr from coming into Izumo after violating his laws on armed conflict.

Fortunately, the Archduke accepted to let the wounded get treated with the condition that they’d unanimously surrender all of their weapons as long as they remained in his care. That was applied for both Hoshidan and Nohrian armies.

The fact that Hoshidan soldiers had been stationed in Izumo from the start made Xander’s men uneasy and even wary of their ceasefire, and with the rumor that he would soon negotiate terms of a peace with Prince Ryoma wasn’t making many people happy, not when Corrin’s judgement was pending.

There were still some avid supporters of Corrin while a louder majority blamed her for this mess; some believed that death penalty was in order while others believed that she deserved forgiveness. And some others just didn’t care, so long as they could see the conflict to an end and return home.

Takumi had to be formally ‘released’ from Nohr’s custody, and though he was technically not a prisoner, the announcement was necessary to appease the Hoshidans’ animosity towards King Xander. With that being settled, Izana allowed the Nohrian soldiers establish themselves outside his castle while the Hoshidans would be inside. All weapons and manners of belligerent magic were confiscated by Izana—no exceptions to Divine Weapons from any parties—, to ensure law would be respected. Takumi wasn’t feeling completely at ease with the prospect of being unarmed, but ultimately convinced himself that this was for the best.

It hasn’t been a day and Izumo was already deathly quiet, the interior of the castle was busy with men and women wounded from the battle; and despite being largely occupied by Hoshidans, the space used to attend injured Nohrians was strictly respected, particularly Prince Leo and the less gravely wounded Princesss Camilla. Elise was seen in the castle at all times, helping with the wounded, King Xander was able to only visited a pair of times, understandably having more crucial matters to attend.

Even though Takumi was finally back with his own people, he felt like a stranger walking among them, meeting with awkward long stares or just plain indifference. He was self-aware that his appearance had changed a lot in the past few months and people would hardly recognize him as Prince Takumi. At least his short hair had given him a sort of vagueness to his presence, people wouldn’t question him wherever he decided to go.

After the end of the battle, he’s been unable to meet Corrin again, centering most of his attention towards Azura and Leo.

“… Have you talked to Ryoma yet?” Azura asked. She was still too weak to leave her tatami. Takumi could tell that Azura felt glad of having him watching over her, just like she did in his time of need… It was the least he could do.

“I know I have to, eventually, but… I would just get in the way.”

“I feel like your insight would be very valuable for him… Don’t worry too much about me, just go.”

He nodded silently and briefly squeezed her thin pale hand with his before parting.

The thought of meeting again with Ryoma wasn’t pleasant in the least. He didn’t want his brother to shower him with questions, or worse: to not ask any at all. And it was still too soon to figure out exactly what he felt towards Ryoma after all that transpired since that disastrous night at Fort Jinya. It was too soon to know if he could forgive him.

Finally, after questioning Archduke Izana himself, he found Ryoma’s quarters.

From last battle, Ryoma sustained several wounds, but his trained regal stance would obscure any weariness in the face of planning negotiations with Nohr. But at the moment when Ryoma noticed his little brother’s presence, his face tensed and his eyes looked down.

Kagero had allowed him to enter to this private room where Ryoma examined several documents on a small table. An orange lantern painted the white screens of the wooden room, it only made Takumi feel uncomfortably homesick, too reminiscent of Castle Shirasagi in those lonely early years… it only reminded him of how absent Ryoma had been during his childhood. Ryoma was probably realizing this too, as they were immersed in a silence too long for their comfort.

“How are your wounds faring?” Ryoma managed to ask, regaining some of his composure. Takumi unclenched his fists; his palms would take some time to heal enough to let him use the bow, but the gash on his back was just a shallow scratch.

“They’re already taken care of. It’s fine.”

“I see”, he whispered, gently taking with his scarred fingers—lightning scars, Takumi noted—a few parchments and ink brushes. “I am going to write back to Yukimura, let everyone know of our current situation… and I want you to write to them as well. Tell our sisters that you’re fine.”

Takumi sighed, “Yes, I know.”

It wasn’t going to end like this. He didn’t come here just to exchange predictable words or reassure Ryoma that everything would be alright. Most of that confidence and admiration had been reduced to shambles.

His chest tightened as he spoke, his cracked voice capturing his brother’s attention. “… What was that back there? Did you truly mean to finish her off and then, t-then…?” he struggled to find the words, Ryoma’s crestfallen eyes said everything. Takumi gasped shakily. “You seriously thought that was the best choice you had? What if you truly killed Corrin? What if you decided to take your own life? Then what? Did you know what’d that mean for _me_ —for everyone?”

Ryoma’s fists were tensing as he looked down apologetically. It was hard to imagine what went through his brother’s mind when he made that promise to Corrin… Takumi calmed his breathing and tried to soften his expression. “I’m sorry… There was no way you’d have known about the plan… I wish someone would have told you about anything, but it’s all done now. I only—I want this to be over. Even if we cannot go back to the way we were, I just want this to end. I’m so tired, Brother.”

Ryoma looked miserable, clearly pained by Takumi’s words, as necessary as they might be.

“For causing you all this pain, I apologize. I couldn’t do right by you even when I wanted to protect you… But this time it’ll be different, Takumi.”

“Then… does that mean that Corrin won’t be coming back with us? You’ll let her go?”

“Is that what you want?”

“Is it really about what _I_ want now? What if what I want is something different?”

“Takumi, I only want to do what is right… You care about her, do you not?”

The young man frowned and sighed silently. “… I still haven’t forgiven her, nor you. But you’re right, I care about her.”

“… Oh.”

Takumi looked away as he grimaced, trying to block away the memories triggered by Ryoma’s reaction. And it was true: despite being able to get along and pretend that it didn’t bother him, Takumi knew deep inside his heart that he never forgave them for their transgression…

… But how was he any better than them?

Takumi has been withholding the whole truth from Ryoma ever since they met again, and it was a cruelty to maintain him in ignorance for petty regret… yet what were the odds of making it better by revealing the truth? Ryoma would be forced to deal with the fact that he almost killed his own child along with Corrin. Wouldn’t it be crueler to let him know?

“There is… something else that I needed to talk to you about; I should have spoken earlier, but I didn’t have the chance…”

…

 

 

It was hard to not admire Leo’s grit to stay awake on spite of his wounds and the stress, Takumi would even begin to think that Leo forced himself to remain conscious knowing that his siblings would seek for answers and stay by him… Takumi had happened to visit him when Prince—King—Xander was still there as well. An awkward somber feeling permeated the room after he left. Elise had been there every time Takumi visited, dutiful as she may be, she probably remained because she was worried sick of her brother. In those short silent instances, Elise always showed gratitude, even if all Takumi did was to sit there and keep him company.

Leo, on the other side, he didn’t talk unless he felt like he needed to answer, he couldn’t pretend to not feel tired even if he tried, after all, they had to amputate his left arm above his elbow. Leo nodded off a couple of times (they accidentally woke him up when Elise tried to engage in conversation), but ultimately Leo dismissed him… not without first thanking him.

If one would take them away from their unfortunate situations, Takumi knew that they could have turned into very good friends, and although it was still a possibility, he didn’t want to weigh on it too long. He only had his personal pain to hold him back from fully embracing the idea of friendship with a Nohrian Prince… His wounds would need more time, he told Azura. She seemed to like the idea enough to encourage him.

Days passed like this, he never had the chance to see Corrin… and Takumi wasn’t sure if he even wanted to after talking to Ryoma.

Takumi could still hear her horrible pain-filled screams in his nights, making him sick in the stomach. The scar in her chest, deepened and torn open by his own hands… as if taking away one eye wasn’t enough.

He did so anyway. He had to directly go to the Nohrian camp and request Gunter to help him get through to ask Xander’s permission to see her. It was annoying, but it made sense to take these precautions. They had to turn back to Izana’s Castle, where she was the only one occupying a rather luxurious prisoner cell (possibly not intended in that manner).

It was easy to assume Corrin decided to lock-up herself to make the people feel safer.

Takumi didn’t know if Ryoma visited, but since it was a cell watched by guards chosen by Izana and approved by Xander—she was still under custody of the Nohrian army—, she’s been given everything necessary to be comfortable.

There was a haunted look on her eye before she looked at him, probably spacing out. She had a careless appearance, feverish even.

“So, how are your wounds?”, he asked, rising his voice enough to let her hear. Corrin walked close to the cell’s door, her movements were slow and careful.

“There has a small infection, but it’s almost healed, I really just need to rest”, Corrin gestured her hand over her chest, the bandages peeking out from her robes. Her voice was unusually dry and weak, probably why she had to come closer to him. “How’s Leo?”

Takumi swallowed. “… He lost his left arm, but I’ve seen that he’s recovering fast. He’s pretty tough.” There was a small relief that shook Corrin’s shoulder upon hearing this. This only proved that Xander probably denied her of this information.

“Good... I just wonder if they’ll at least let me see him once this over. It’d give me some peace of mind.”

“It’s pretty messed up that I’m allowed to visit him but you’re not.”

“Maybe, but it’s understandable given the weight of my crimes”, she said with air of resignation. Takumi grimaced, thinking about what her ‘crimes’ constituted and what her siblings actually took personally to punish her like this. “What’s wrong?”, she asked.

“I said that I’d keep you safe, but I—”

“Takumi, don’t start.” Corrin frowned.

“—No! I was scared. I was so helpless and afraid because I realized that I couldn’t protect you. I… wanted to save you, but in the end there was only so little I could do for you.” The sorrow in his face faltered, slowly giving way to his anger. “A-and yet you deliberately put yourself in line, as if you had no care in the world!”

Corrin looked away a little and she bit her lower lip. “You’re wrong. I was reckless, yes, and I took a risk that became more than what I bargained. But it doesn’t mean that I didn’t care. In the end, everything worked out!”

“Barely. And on spite of having me watching your back, you decided to charge in alone because of a chance at dumb luck! You could have killed yourself and that child that you so claim to want to protect! J-just what’s wrong with you?!” he gasped tremulously, realizing that the guards were staring at him from the distance, his hands were gripping tightly at the cell’s wooden bars.

There were so many questions in his head, his reasoning was racing sharp and unforgiving. Would she be a good parent? After all, she deliberately endangered the life of her child more than once. What would Ryoma think of her? Would he still support her with the knowledge of what she almost did?

But back to reality, Corrin looked horrified, whether it was out of self-realization or just the fact that he was making such an emotional show, he couldn’t tell. Takumi wiped his face with his sleeve, he never intended to cry in front of her. “You are terrible…”, he murmured.

Then her fingers touched his for a second while they were still on the cell’s bars. When they looked at each other, no more words were needed anymore; Takumi realized that she had the same apologetic expression his brother had when they spoke. He recalled how badly she wanted their forgiveness.

She understood she did wrong. She knew how bad she was and how much her body was used to the punishment… Forgiveness was the only comfort she could ever dream of when the whole world already scorned her.

Takumi removed his hand from her cell, but in one rapid motion Corrin pulled his wrist inside. “What are you—” He tried to jerk away in a fit of panic, but when he found his fingers tangled with hers as the back of his hand rested against her cheek. The touch wasn’t unpleasant, her hands were still a little rough but they were warm, but this affection it was also causing a sharp pain inside his chest as he allowed her to caress his hand.

She was crying too, not screaming nor hurting.

In that moment he wanted to open the door. He desperately wanted to break it open, pull her out of that place, just run away… Run far away from this place, away from the hurt, away from all the things that made her want to hurt herself. He wanted to bad to do that… _But…_

“I know… Just give me a moment”, she breathed, her other hand went between the bars to his side and reached out his face, her fingers brushed with his temple and cheek. She looked heartbroken when her hand let go of him. “For your sake, don’t worry so much about me”, she said.

And he nodded, conflicted once more about what she meant. The guards were restless when they saw them making contact, so he left before giving them the wrong idea.

He loved her. He even asked her to run with him before the battle started, but he knew that it couldn’t happen. He entertained the idea only briefly, but he did picture himself living at her side, giving her a peaceful life and helping to raise a child that wasn’t his… it even crossed his mind to eventually heal and become a man worthy of love.

… Of course, it was only a fantasy, a dream far too naïve and unrealistic for both. Corrin wouldn’t have been at peace in that sort of path.

Then there was the waiting. Shortly, Corrin’s trial would start, and while it was certain that Ryoma and Xander wouldn’t execute her, Takumi couldn’t do anything about the outcome.

What he didn’t know was that that would be the last time he would speak to Corrin in a long while.

…

 

 

RYOMA

“Corrin is expecting a child. And it is suspected that the conception took place when she was under your care. Do you know who the father is?”

He tried to not act exceedingly surprised. His mind was already desperately trying to fly away to all directions, but the fact that Takumi had told him beforehand was thankfully enough preparation to not lose composure in front of King Xander, who was staring at him with inquisitive eyes. But Ryoma took a quiet deep breath and straightened his posture.

“I believe I do, yes. But if you’re going to ask me to out one of my men—”

“I won’t. What point is there to it but to sharpen the edge already between our nations, and all for a child that is not ours to take? Not to mention, Corrin is a princess hailed from Hoshido.” King Xander paused for a moment, pensive and regretful when he looked down, then turned his gaze back to Ryoma. “That… _Thing_ that betrayed and murdered King Sumeragi also kidnapped your Corrin and made her into one of our family; I don’t have the right to glide over these facts, even if I wasn’t involved, the fact remains that I did nothing to revert that iniquity.”

Speaking of his own Father would have been a touchy subject for Ryoma, but he played it cool. An apology was hardly a fair payment for the death and taking of his family, but he accepted that it was all that he’d be able to get. Garon was gone, and Corrin was safe, for the time being.

After being fully informed by Kagero and Takumi about Garon’s true identity and the intricate plot that involved Azura and Leo—he also had to be explained that they survived falling off the Bottomless Canyon, the reasons remained unaddressed throughout his questions—. Ryoma mentally prepared himself for this talk, as well as it was certain Xander did the same.

This was an unofficial private meeting, nobody else was supposed to be hearing both men talk, and they agreed they’d clear this up before the beginning of the trial and the signing of their treaty. If they wanted this to work, they had to be honest with each other even for the more unsightly matters.

“It must be harsh to accept everything that happened, but I’m glad to see that you’re being reasonable… To an extent, I’m thankful for you raising her into becoming virtuous. It relieves me that she grew up knowing that she was loved. You’re not a bad man, King Xander.”

“Corrin is to me as much of a sister as she is to you, I would like to assume, but I also wish to protect the integrity of my country and my family. I would not keep her even if she wanted to stay.” The Nohrian King chose his words very deliberately, Ryoma noted. The assumption that Corrin would still choose to return to Nohr had been present in his mind for long; but the gravity of their situation shifted that possibility irrevocably. “Even if I could shelter her in Nohr through the guise of exile, we have keen enemies inside our Court that will undoubtedly tear us apart alongside her if they find out. I’ll be under heavy scrutiny once I receive the Crown, and I cannot give my people another reason to distrust me. Corrin… she has to be out of Nohr, she needs to be with her own people.”

“It won’t be easier in Hoshido. Corrin is widely known as a traitor and a prisoner of war. I could pull some strings to absolve her from her sentence, but that won’t spare me or my family from the discord. She’s anything but loved there. The only viable choice I see to is to exile her to a safe place, somewhere her face isn’t well-known and can live peacefully.”

“I see. But what about the father?”

He closed his eyes for a moment, having meditated what he’d say in case such a question popped up. He wanted to be honest to King Xander, but some things were just better left covered for the greater good.

…

 

 

TAKUMI

“Lord Takumi! Oh gods, what happened to your hair…?”

With the coming treaty and trial of Corrin, Izumo became host of the arrival of several ambassadors and counselors from both nations, Takumi was surprised when he watched Oboro and Hinata come. For a moment, it was almost too overwhelming. Both of his retainers were on the verge of tears when they hugged him, something that in any other situation would have been stepping out of boundaries… but they were his best friends before servants.

“I-it’s fine, it’ll grow back”, he said, struggling with the instinct to push them away. Takumi couldn’t tell them that he didn’t want to be touched, let alone disclose the reason why, so he sucked it up and put up with them. Instead, he just placed his hand on the heads of each one. “Sorry for making both of you worry so much. Some master I am.”

Azura regained enough strength to slip out of her bed and greet their family when they arrived to Izumo. Hinoka arrived on her Pegasus alongside Sakura, and they both teared up when they saw their siblings after months of uncertainty. Even Azura seemed to get emotional with the warm reunion with her sisters.

Seeing them again was hard on Takumi, especially when meeting Hinoka. He didn’t know what to say when she cried as she rested her hand on his shoulder, apologizing for not finding him fast enough… it troubled him to see Hinoka care this much for him. He could’ve appeared cold before her.  

On the other hand, Sakura’s emotional wreck was something he was already used to deal with, reassuring her was easier, comfortably predictable. All the same, having so many people pay attention to him and ask for his well-being was exhausting, especially when he couldn’t answer all their questions.

Sakura was having a hard time speaking through her sobbing, Azura tried to comfort her. “I-I couldn’t sleep well last night and now I can’t stop crying because I forgot all that I wanted to tell you in the first place and I’M SO SORRY!” Azura offered her a tissue so she could wipe her nose. “I’m just so happy that you’re fine, Takumi…”

But in spite of his initial anxiety, Takumi started to feel warmth inside his chest. He missed them, far more than what he could bring himself to admit… Momentarily, he could forget all the things that weighed on him.

Soon, Nohr and Hoshido would finally put an end to the war, Takumi would be able to return home with his family and friends, he’d be able to visit his Mother… but everything would be back to normal only in appearance.

As for Corrin, he could only feel resignation to whatever fate awaited her and what would she do next. It was a fact that Corrin had been very bad for his mental health, that much they mutually realized; she would wanted him to stop worrying for her… and he’d be damned if he didn’t try.

…

 

 

RYOMA

_“I received your letter this morning… It wouldn’t kill you to let me know these kind of things beforehand. You’re leaving today, right?”_

_“I cannot guarantee that I’ll be back here before your rebellion, but I’m lending you as many soldiers as I can provide.”_

_Scarlet had a fierce but warm presence, she left a lasting impression on him from the first day they met… Scarlet’s sharpness easily cut his shell deeply, her boldness and sympathetic nature snatched his heart all too quickly. It was improper, it was untimely, but it made him feel alive in his darkest days. It was almost like an ironic twist of fate when he happened to meet her in Cheve._

_But they would need to part. When he obtained information about Corrin heading to Macarath, he knew that it was a chance he couldn’t let slip by. It was a chance for redemption for all. Scarlet knew how important this was for him._

_“Your brother… is he alright? I like his spirits but I’m worried that he might be getting the wrong idea of how I operate.”_

_“He will be reckless, I warn you, but he’s a promising tactician. Give him a chance to prove himself.”_

_The crimson-armored woman sighed. “… You want me to babysit him.”_

_“I’d suggest you to not make condescending remarks, not in front of him. But he needs this. He needs to stay away from family affairs for a while and I’m certain that he’ll be of better use at your command than anywhere else. I know I can entrust him to you.”_

_“Gotcha. And you worry about getting that wayward sister of yours back to her senses.” Daringly, her hand pulled his face a little too close to his, nobody was watching, but it startled him nonetheless. “Just promise me that you’ll come back. I’m still not done with you.”_

…

 

 

“I accept the terms of the exile, but only if you also accept my conditions as well. I want to sustain myself independently, I don’t want you to make any more expenses because of me and I don’t want any guards sent by you nor Xander to watch over me or help me in any way.”

Her demands were reasonably simple, in a different situation he might’ve begged her to ask for more, but his blood had been boiling for a while, ever since he was faced with this truth and the possibility that he almost did the unthinkable… His body could only endure so much anger and despair, it was a good thing that he was allowed to talk privately to Corrin in the interior of this cell. “… Then what about the child?” He was gripping her arms with so more force than what he’d let himself use in the past, but Corrin didn’t even flinch or complain, just kept staring at him with that same steely glare.

He understood why she had wanted to keep it a secret, but now that the truth was out, there was no reason to deny him of the existence of his own child. Ryoma could have understood if she never wanted it in the first place, but if his brother’s words were to be taken true, she wanted this child so badly that she nearly endangered their entire plan to take out Garon just to keep them. It was impossible to ignore this amount of irresponsibility, and now that he knew the life that was growing inside of her, he was struck with an overwhelming sense of protectiveness. It was painful to realize that the woman he loved so much also inspired him great terror for his own child’s safety.

Why did she want the child anyway?

He wanted to protect that child with everything he had… but he knew that he couldn’t.

Ryoma’s grip on her shoulders loosened as his reason soothed that anger. In that same moment, her hands found his cheeks, her touch was almost soft.. “As far as everyone knows, the father of this child is an unnamed man. Yet there’s still ill-intentioned rumors going on about you and I, isn’t there? What good would it do to stay together, Ryoma?”

He already knew that, he already knew Corrin couldn’t come with him, but denial nested itself underneath his skin. “I don’t want you to raise them alone…!”

“And I won’t! But I want to protect you both” Her hold was firmer, but despite her strength, it was easy to see on her face that Corrin was just as heartbroken as him. Her lips twisted in a pained grimace and her only eye was shimmering with tears. “I want them to live a peaceful life, free of the burden that we are. You understand, don’t you?”

Corrin was right. The child would be denied a of a happy life if Ryoma were to call them his own…  

“I promise you, you’ll meet them when they are born. You will see them and they will know your name and they will know you love them… But they will never know that you are their Father.”

Those last few words made him feel as if he’d fall apart for good, his legs were trembling under his own weight. “… What shall I do without you?”, he breathed.

She then kissed his eyebrow. “You will heal. Then… we’ll have to face what we’ve done, with all our scars closed. You will come for me when you are ready.”

They had to part, their time was running short and he’d have to pretend none of their contact ever happened.

Turning his face back to her, she offered him one last broken smile.

…

 

 

AZURA

“I’ll write to you every day, I swear! And promise me that you’ll write me back!”

There was a stark contrast between Elise’s affective hugging and kissing with Sakura’s quiet sobbing and handholding, the culture shock never fully settled with Azura and between her siblings.

The day when the Nohrian troops parted from Izumo, Azura remained, having made her decision clear before Xander, not that he could even blame her since they really had no bonds beyond the fact that her mother was one of Garon’s many lovers in his tragically twisted history. Although that didn’t mean Azura felt nothing when she had to say goodbye; Elise and Leo already made a home in her heart and she’d always remember how Leo trusted her when she thought she had nobody, his sacrifice would weigh on her for a lifetime.

Those were a few bittersweet days of restrained hostility between Nohr and Hoshido, but with the peace negotiations finalized, both parties had to begrudgingly embrace this new yet frail compromise. After all, they united to exact judgement unto one particular target.

Azura imagined this was never how Corrin expected to achieve peace.

Yet, Corrin get away almost unscathed, all things considered. A few people went as far as to demand Corrin to be drawn and quartered, among other types of punishment deemed appropriate for treason. To some the banishment just didn’t seem severe enough, but they seemingly forgot that Corrin was also considered the sister of both Kings; of course they’d grant her the least grievous sentence they could afford for a pregnant woman who also happened to be a dragon.

It two days after Xander retired his army from Izumo when Azura had to see Corrin off alongside her family. Izumo made this last favor to Hoshido by providing a ship and escort for the exiled princess to Notre Sagesse. The location was left undisclosed to almost everyone; only the royals and a few contacts would know exactly where would Corrin spent the rest of her years.

Azura accompanied Ryoma, Hinoka, Sakura and Takumi to the port, still hours before dawn, no unwanted souls at the harbor to witness the farewell, and though they didn’t bring too many lights, she was able to take one last look at Corrin in her grim splendor as she removed her hood briefly to say goodbye to her siblings.

The princess had cut again her hair chin-short, probably did it the night before. When her only eye looked at Ryoma, it shone vividly. She exchanged a long-winded conversation with Hinoka while her belongings were being stashed in the modest-sized ship she’d share with a small crew for the next few weeks. Old Gunter was sitting right there, silently waiting for his Lady to finish.

Sakura remained quiet alongside Azura, as if she was only here for moral support, Takumi took a similar stance but it could be that he didn’t want Sakura to feel lonely. Takumi already said everything he had to say to Corrin, as he explained to her the previous day. Hinoka probably wouldn’t have enough time to tell Corrin everything she wanted. And Ryoma… well, he had done a little too much for her for anyone’s liking. Takumi was visibly anxious, looking away whenever Ryoma and Corrin talked to each other or seemed come a little too close.

Azura ultimately walked to Corrin and gave her a newly-polished dragonstone, gently bid her farewell.

 That wasn’t always part of the plan. A surge of panic travelled Azura’s spine as she couldn’t decide whether to let her legs freeze in place or just jump right into the ship as they slowly set sail into the darkness of the sea at night.

She sat at the harbor for hours after the ship disappeared from everyone’s sight, pensive and troubled by her own inaction. She threw her Mother’s pendant at the sea unceremoniously, not that it meant nothing to her, but the curse of that song nearly costed her life… she wanted to make sure she’d have no more reasons to follow Corrin’s trail after today.

The sound of the rocking waves against the creaking worn wood of the port didn’t draw her attention from the steps of Takumi as he found her, simply sat next to her without making any questions.

Azura just spoke, the words pouring out of her like water. “It’s strange, I was almost certain that I’d end up following Corrin to her exile… but I changed my mind on the last minute.”

“You have barely talked to her since you recovered, were you still mad with her?”

“I suppose I have no right to feel mad towards the woman who tried to save my life—whom I had to save in return—, but I too have the right to feel tired… don’t I? I thought that I’d only have to be at her side as we carried on our mission, and then I would have to die. But I never imagined that I’d start to care deeply for her.”

“… So you didn’t always like her.” Takumi said, he sounded strangely amused.

“I… _hated_ her. I hated her choice and I hated what she forced me to do, yet she was also the only once I could call a friend in a place full of scary people… But right now I just want the anger to subside naturally, I want to clear my head and find it again in my heart to forgive her one day.”

“Huh. I thought that you already did.”

“Not properly. But I know that you’ve done the same too.”

Takumi was quiet for a few seconds, as if her words pinned his thought against the soft song of the sea. In the darkness, he contemplated the formidable depths of the merged sky and ocean with a familiar look of wonder. But in the dim moonlight, she observed the small shape of his mouth twist slightly, like a smile.

“I suppose I did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me and my brother always joked about Conquest and we dubbed 'Dark Song' as 'Azura is PISSED', and after that I always felt like Azura hated Corrin, or at least was very angry towards them throughout the Conquest path. It makes an awful lot of sense if you pay attention to the way she talks to Corrin (now, would you imagine a Conquest AU in which Azura actually turns on Corrin for being a complete doofus?, I'd pay for that).
> 
> Again, thank you for reading and sticking with me this far! Remember to check tomorrow for the Epilogue.


	31. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing the conclusion of a story is not easy for everyone, and particularly for me, when I'm so afraid of messing up or adding too much or too little. It's hard for me to even manage to finish something. I can literally count with the fingers of one single hand the amount of fanfics/stories I've ever finished.  
> I know that I can't please all of my readers, and some of those bookmarks will disappear forever while probably I'll get some new in return, I don't know, but I do care about what people think and how they believe I can improve.  
> For that, for one last time I ask of you to tell me what you truly think. I want you to tell what what you liked and what you hated. I want you to tell me where if there's anything I've overlooked. It'd mean the world to me.
> 
> Thanks.

TAKUMI

He spent the longest time avoiding to show his body to anyone. Even after he finally found the person to whom he wanted to marry, he was unable to open up about it. The scars almost faded over time, but some days it'd feel like they’d tear open. Nobody knew, nobody except Azura… but even she didn’t understand the full extent of the damage.

He didn’t think it’d be so bad, not until after their wedding ceremony, as he was unable to give his bride a proper wedding night. Even though she understood his decision to not rush into it, he realized in dread that he couldn’t even show his naked back to his own wife out of fear for how he’d react if he let her touch him, not anymore because of the questions that she may ask about those scars… It wasn’t until months late when he finally braved to speak with her, fearing his inadequacy as a husband more than he feared the stigma of his trauma.

It surprised him when she answered to him with ‘I imagined it was something like that, but I’m glad that you decided to tell me yourself’, which lifted a terrible weight off his shoulders. It didn’t really make the scars disappear, but granted him a strong sense of safety and confidence that he neglected for far too long.

A year after their vows they had a healthy baby boy whom they named Kiragi. The day Takumi craddled his small child in his arms… he felt so much happiness that he thought he was going to die. But for being the first royal descendant of his generation, Takumi realized right away what a great responsibility would befall on his son, since there wasn’t currently another successor recognized by the Hoshidan Court.

Ryoma became a fair and strong ruler over time, those who loved him spoke louder than those who didn’t; the latter didn't hate him merely for the fact that he was fast to establish an alliance with Nohr, but it was also for the wretched rumors from years ago that came back to hound at Ryoma, especially when he sat on the throne unmarried and without any children sired yet… This was the reason why it fell on Takumi and his sisters to give Hoshido new heirs.

The rumors eventually got to Sakura and Hinoka, but Takumi encouraged his sisters to ignore them, such was the same task Azura upheld alongside him, not because he wanted to watch Ryoma’s back, but because he didn’t want his family’s already flawed relationship to splinter even further.

In a way, it was frustrating to see that there was so little that they could fix even after the war was over, but as long as their past still existed they were limited to work on making their future better. Takumi simply wanted to keep on getting along with Azura, Hinoka and Sakura, make sure Kiragi would be a happy child growing up, maintain the kind memories of his Mother… Ryoma’s problems weren’t worth the destruction of all of that.

…

 

 

 

For years he received correspondence from a woman named ‘Kamui’ living in Notre Sagesse, and sometimes Takumi would write her back, only if he felt like he actually had something to say. It wasn’t that he didn’t like to know about her life, but sometimes he just didn’t have anything to talk about, which made writing for the sake of writing a pointless endeavor in his perspective.

But she wasn’t expecting him to respond every letter she sent, ‘Kamui’ claimed to feel fine by just writing, as if it allowed her words to come out more eloquently than she could ever do in person. He related to that feeling in a way.

Whereas he told her about his family’s life and Hoshido, a constant subject of her letters was her son Shiro. From what he could tell, she was infatuated with her child, but would often express her insecurities about handling him when she didn’t have anyone else to help her out; of course, she had Gunter and Jakob to help her, but she probably just wanted marital support instead of a fatherly figure. It comforted Takumi that at least she was sincere about her experiences with her son, which became a source of concern to him for years. She was seemingly growing into a decent mother.

But in regards that matter, she would never speak of Ryoma in her letters. Not even once.

After the alliance between nations was secured, Ryoma would often visits to Notre Sagesse. To the public, Ryoma was appointed to meet with Princess Elise and other smaller nation representatives and diplomats, and part of it was true… but Takumi knew perfectly well what was all that about. These travels would happen often, thrice a year, and sometimes Ryoma would even invite his family to come as well. Takumi would always refuse.

He couldn’t go and just pretend that Ryoma wasn’t there. He couldn’t pretend that nothing would happen when he looked the other way. The dread of knowing well what those two would do in the dark never truly left him. He tried to understand it, could even try to accept it... but he could never forgive it.

Always after Ryoma returned to Hoshido, Takumi would do his best to avoid him. He was tired of confronting his brother over a lesson that he was unwilling to learn, so he’d just let his hatred seep quietly through their short family meetings. Takumi got so angry one time that he tossed one of ‘Kamui’s’ letters to the fire without even reading it and regretted it immediately. He just couldn’t help himself.

One day Takumi got another letter from Leo, telling him that those visits were just shamelessly indulgent family meetings, but it’d be nice to see him come around for a change; Leo also said that Takumi was still the only brother who haven’t visited yet besides Xander. 

Corrin never mentioned any of this either. Takumi never fully understood how King Xander felt towards Corrin... He presumed that it was better to leave them be, let those regrets and wounds close with time, like always.

He decided that he’d visit Notre Sagesse alone, just take his child and spouse, and make sure that Ryoma wouldn’t think of following him. Takumi had Kagero's favor to entertain Ryoma enough to let him travel undisturbed.

The small nation was composed by mountainous islands, and though he’s heard much about Notre Sagesse’s mystical background as former housing of the Rainbow Sage and the Sevenfold Sanctuary, its trial overcome by both kings of Nohr and Hoshido… Takumi always dreamed of being worthy of passing this trial himself, but was there any point to it now that the legendary Sage had passed away and peace was achieved?

The harbor city was culturally rich and had trading of all nations, Takumi didn’t find it surprising to recognize many compatriot merchants all over the ports and inside the city. Thankfully he didn’t run into anyone who recognized him… and Kiragi seemed excited to meet such a busy and different city after days of being stuck in the same boring vessel. The child couldn’t stop wriggling in his arms, so he handed him over to his wife.

Their guide throughout the city was none other than Jakob, Corrin’s retainer who proudly seemed to continue to work as her butler. It almost felt like yesterday when Jakob had to pose as him to cover his absence.

Corrin lived at the feet of the mountain, her home wasn’t big or luxurious, but it certainly wasn’t painfully modest as to catch anyone’s attention. She lived next to the river and close to the lush of the forest… it was perfectly comfortable for someone with her restrictions.

The first thing that he noticed when they entered the house was the fact that the amount of books and scrolls clustered over her furniture was towering up to the ceiling. So many books about so many subjects… Jakob mentioned to his observations that some things about her never changed. In her many quests for jobs, she obtained as many books as she could to learn of different arts and lore. It sounded like something Corrin would busy herself with.

She dropped the fighting altogether, her sword Yato stashed deep beneath their home as some forgotten cursed treasure that would hopefully never see the light of day again. Her entire time was now dedicated to building her own life with her little family.

It was the first time he met Corrin after years of not seeing her and he felt like his heart fell heavy in his stomach; his eyes met with the imposing shape of a woman in a black gown that showed a glimpse to her lightning-scarred chest, and she had a large pregnant belly. She wore her hair in a long braid and her eyepatch somehow made her look tired, older. She smiled at him in a way he had forgotten long ago.

He kept himself calm despite having an inner turmoil over seeing her waiting for a second child, predictably so from the same man. She looked happy nonetheless. It made him question if he should have placed her on a higher regard than Ryoma just because they communicated through correspondence. It was as if nothing had changed, as if no lesson was learned, all consequences were paid but didn’t bend reality in the way he wanted.

But _what_ did he want to see, exactly? She looked as strong as she could when life had denied her of so much…

She immediately showered Kiragi with affection, carefully carried the babe briefly to decide that he looked exactly like his father—to which Takumi had to look away with intense blushing—, she greeted Kiragi’s mother earnestly, apologizing for her manners. Jakob went to the kitchen to prepare tea, out of sheer courtesy.

While they would wait, Takumi and Corrin went out to the house’s porch, a chance to talk alone for the first time in so long.

Almost enthusiastically, she stepped next to him with a large smile, effectively obscuring the intimidating effect of her eyepatch. Much to his surprise, he was a little more than four fingers taller than her, which was amazing considering that she was already a very tall woman. The first thing she did was to hang the long braid of her hair over her shoulder and asked him to do the same with his ponytail. He humored her, allowing her to gently take his and compare it with hers.

Corrin snickered, pulling at both with difficulty, her arm wasn’t long enough. “Huh, taking your growth spurt in consideration, it looks like mine grew faster than yours.”

“That’s because I had to cut the split ends once in a while. Technically mine should be longer than yours”, he replied, slightly amused.

“I never said it would be a competition. But well… it’s been five years. I've never spent this long without cutting it”, she pressed her lips together, still grinning, but she looked at the forest pensively. “Glad it took you this long though.”

“What? You thought that I wouldn’t come at the right time? Is now a right time?”

“Well, if you put it like that…” Corrin shook her shoulders, grimacing a little. “You had your own things to figure out and I had mine. I feel like it was necessary to improve our lives first before we crashed into each other.”

“You make it sound like we’re chaotic together.”

“Our relationship is pretty much just an endless stream of ups and downs. We had so many good intentions, but a lot of misunderstandings and so many bad decisions.” She sighed, it was bluntly as she could say it, and he agreed on that. “Still… I was looking forward for the day in which we’d meet again. I’m glad it took this long.”

It was strange how her words put a smile on his face. Despite the fact that there would always be many thing he’d hate Corrin for, there was something so intimate about the way she cared for him, the way that she expressed it… it filled a part of him that nobody else could.

“By the way… where’s the boy?”

“Shouldn’t take long before he’s back.”

Less than an hour later, Gunter returned to the house with some food supplies for the house’s guests; a little kid carrying a large bag of potatoes on his own followed him close. Takumi initially tried to take it off the boy, but nor Gunter nor Corrin seemed to be very worried. The boy stared at Takumi for a long time, and Takumi did the same despite not wanting to.

He was identical to Ryoma. Maybe just the color of his eyes and hair were different, but the child was basically a smaller version of Ryoma. He felt extremely conflicted about this, and Corrin seemed to notice the troubled expression on his face.

“Shiro? Say ‘Hello’, don’t be rude.”

He shook off the stupor quickly, tried to act natural. “I’m your uncle Takumi. Nice to meet you. That was a huge bag you were carrying; helping out old Gunter? Already building up some muscle?”

Shiro smiled wide as he nodded, and Corrin laughed in response, taking the boy in her arms on spite of her pregnant body.

The boy had Her smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Whoops, my Author's Note was too big for this small space, so I guess you have to go to the next page to read it, only if you want.)


	32. Author's Notes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops. I originally meant to post this under the epilogue, but it was too long for the A/N's box, so here goes!
> 
> Edit 29/04/2017: I wanted to add a few other notes about the themes I explored in FS, I hope it's not a bother.

 

First and Foremost, I want to thank everyone who came here to read and support me through this little journey of mine. I wouldn’t have made it this far if it wasn’t for all of you who stuck with me until the end, for every nice comment and critique, from the lengthy to the brief ones, even merely leaving your kudos, it all meant something for me. Your patience despite my irregular updates gave me the motivation to keep on wanting to write. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you all for helping me grow as a writer.

Originally, I planned Fractal Scarring to only be 18 chapters long, but as the story developed inside my head, it just grew and grew until it reached 30 chapters, plus the Epilogue. It was going to focus solely on Ryoma’s troubled relationship with Corrin, with the occasional Takumi angsting about it. When I first started, I had most of the scenes outlined on Word, and I’d suddenly add a few more while I kept progressing with the story.

The themes that I wanted to explore in this story really put me outside of my comfort zone, which are things that I usually see on other works of fiction and make me feel either disgust or just plain dissatisfaction. One of those themes is Incest (which, in this case was just pseudo-incest given Fates' wonky handling of family structures), which is personally something I don't like to see unaddressed in works of fiction or left alone without consequence; I do like to see incest as a plot or character device because I find it fascinating, which is not really the same as 'liking' it per se for the same reasons as you'd normally find someone shipping siblings together in a fandom (some of my favorite works of fiction contain in-canon incest). That's why I did my best to portray Corrin and Ryoma's relationship as problematic and unhealthy, constantly reminding the reader that their relationship, far from romantically forbidden, was a basket of bad decisions and inconveniences. Despite being truly in love with each other and not sharing blood, they are deeply damaged by their own relationship and the perception of outsiders. I wanted to make it clear that their relationship would leave a huge negative impact on others, which is why Kagero and Takumi take involvement, not as obstacles for their taboo romance, but as voices of reason and outrage.

Another theme that I tried to explore (and I admittedly projected a lot) was anger management. I'm sure you noticed that Corrin was sometimes physically aggressive when she was furious and under a lot of stress; Takumi exhibits a lot of this too. I think that expressing anger and frustration is not always something negative, but I also wanted to draw a contrast between expressing anger in a bad way and a good way. It isn't always perfect and the characters don't always learn after the first time, but that's just how it happened to me in real life. I have anger management issues and it's something I constantly have to work on. Writing about it has helped me somewhat.

I also delve into other delicate themes, like sexual violence, neglect, war, loss, mental health... and I could go on about each, but I'd rather to do that when I'm writing a school essay, I just wanted to write a little Author's Note.

As I advanced the story, a lot of ideas didn’t make it into the final edition of the chapters, either because I thought they wouldn’t fit the tone of the story, they wouldn’t have made sense or they were just taking up too much space in the story. In light of these decisions I made, I also ended up altering the course and final development of Fractal Scarring. I had a lot of ideas for many characters and situations that in the end I couldn’t explore because I couldn’t find a good time and place for them.

For that, I kinda made this list of ideas/scenes that didn’t make it to Fractal Scarring:

  * Azura’s feelings for Corrin were going to be more romantic, the idea was drafted as I came to the conclusion that Azura probably doesn’t even like Corrin that much.
  * Saizo was meant to have more scenes of him interacting with Corrin and Kagero together.
  * There was going to be a complete scene of Azura giving the magic crystal to Leo, which would reveal Garon’s true nature. I scrapped it because it would have been a copy-paste of the in-game scene, except with Leo being a little more critical on their situation.
  * Takumi and Oboro were going to have a heart-to-heart conversation about Corrin in Izumo and the consequences of the war.
  * Ryoma was going to have a very… weird incestuous flashback about Mikoto. I’m actually glad I never included it anywhere. It was a bad idea.
  * I was going to reveal Jakob’s identity as the guy with whom Corrin almost had sex with (mentioned in chapter 10).
  * I was going to write a proper flashback to explain Ryoma’s romantic feelings for Scarlet. It was going to be very sexual.
  * Hayato and Chief Fuga were going to make an appearance before Corrin encountered Leo’s army.
  * Takumi wasn’t going to be ‘clear’ of Anankos influence completely, he was going to make a run to the Bottomless Canyon while Corrin follows. They were going to be rescued by Camilla on her majestic undead wyvern (this was clearly a shameless attempt at letting Camilla have an epic scene, ngl).
  * Takumi was going to ‘transmit’ Anankos to Corrin as he would emotionally guilt-trip her during his recovery.
  * Originally I was going to write a romantic subplot between Takumi and Leo. I had some hints all already written, but I didn’t go through with it because of the intensity of Takumi’s trauma.
  * Corrin’s last intimate encounter with Ryoma was going to be more explicit and aggressive, Ryoma being far more dominant this time.
  * Garon was going to be aware of Corrin’s pregnancy and punch her in the gut, causing her to have a miscarriage. I almost went through with it, but I figured that it’d be too much, and Corrin already has to put up with so much.
  * In the dream sequence where Corrin meets Mikoto again, she would have met with Garon’s spirit without Anankos influence, also with good!Anankos. Had to cut that because the chapter was too long.
  * Corrin wasn’t going to be completely ‘clear’ of Anankos influence, she was even going to mention that he was still weak and asleep inside of her.
  * Azura wasn’t going to survive.
  * Kagero and Azura were going to accompany Corrin to her exile, but… while Azura would make sense, Kagero really doesn’t need to, besides that she’s already put up with Corrin for half of the fanfic.



 

With that being said, I also mentioned that I drafted more than several endings for Fractal Scarring, and this is how they’d have played out:

  1. In case of the miscarriage scenario coming through, Corrin would have died in the end. That’s literally it.
  2. Takumi and Corrin would have escaped together, only for Corrin to die during childbirth and leave Takumi taking the child back home. This child would have been ‘Kana’, and Takumi would have claimed to be his father. In a slightly different variation, Corrin would have lived the rest of her life with Takumi, platonically married.
  3. In case of the Anankos-still-lives scenario, Corrin was going to run away before the trial, Azura was going to join her and help her raise the child and keep Anankos at bay. There was going to be a vague revival of Valla, with Azura’s fate left unknown.
  4. Corrin and Ryoma would run away to live their life together in peace. Takumi was going to become the (bitter) King of Hoshido.



 

And while I’m still writing this long-ass Author’s Note, I think it’s worth mentioning a small list of my main influences while writing.

  * Movie Writer/Director Park Chan-Wook (particularly his movies ‘Thirst’ and ‘Oldboy’)
  * ‘Drakengard/Drag-on Dragoon’ Videogame by Cavia/Yoko Taro
  * ‘Berserk’ manga by Kentaro Miura
  * ‘Flowers in the Attic’ novel by V. C. Andrews
  * ‘Mawaru Penguindrum’ anime by Kunihiko Ikuhara
  * ‘Perception’ fanfic by Cynchick (a long call-back to early Naruto fandom)



This technically doesn’t count as a influence, but the song ‘Anathema’ from the band Anathema (lol) greatly inspired me how to carry the themes in my story. Also, the soundtrack of Nier: Automata helped me a lot to complete the last chapters, I was particularly inspired by the song ‘Weight of the World’, which I felt connected a lot to my Corrin. I recommend you to listen to it or buy it if you can.

And now, for the questions you may still have regarding the epilogue, I understand if you find them frustrating. I may have left some details deliberately vague for you to interpret them however you please, because, as I said before: it's impossible to please everyone. Want to know who is Kiragi’s mother? What is Corrin’s hair color? Did Azura have repressed romantic feelings for Corrin all along? It’s pretty much all up to you.

 

Finally, I want to thank you again. It's been a weird, hectic, exciting year for me. I never thought I'd get this amount of attention for one fanfic, and it has given me a huge boost in my confidence to write more, both fanworks and original works. I don't know if I'll ever be able to thank you enough for everything.

Hopefully I'll see you again when inspiration strikes again. Good-bye and Thank you! <3


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